The Shadow's Touch

by Scott VanKirk

  “You’re talking about this?” I held up my caduceus.

  “Yes, I have never heard of anyone ever finding such a large piece intact. Typically, they are smaller slivers like those that David has in his whistle. Even those are rare. You have a delightful saying that is appropriate here. ‘With that piece of the tree of life, you are the one-eyed man in the world of the blind.’”

  I turned all this information around in my mind. There were so many questions! I started, “I—”

  “Here is what you need to know. When I led my people to war, we were optimistic we would win, or at least force a truce, but we were arrogant and did not know our enemies well enough. There were traitors who helped bring about the final blows, but we were losing before that. We just didn’t have the numbers. They’ve had eons to spread across vast numbers of worlds. We were only just starting to colonize three other worlds.

  “When the ancient enemies released the shadows upon the Earth, they intended that all life on earth would be consumed. As you may have discovered, the shadows are nearly or perhaps truly impossible to destroy.

  “When they had access to the Source, they were truly terrifying. They know only two things: hunger and destruction. They eat only one thing—living essence, or what you might call soul. There are strong parallels between your idea of a soul and the reality of the divine. But if we had not acted, the shadows would have consumed the entire planet. When we… took the actions we took, we felt we were dooming our descendants—the ones who survived the cataclysm—to a brutish, short, and hard life. The resulting hesitation nearly lost us everything. Yet, in the end, what we choose was better than extinction. You are proof of that.

  “Here I am in your world, which you’ve filled with wonders and possibilities that I could never have imagined. I have never heard of a race that has accomplished what you have—an advanced civilization without access to the Source. You don’t even have a word for it! I am awed and gratified by the strength of you, our descendants. It shows me that everything we did, every risk we took, every life sacrificed, was worth it.”

  She paused. “I digress. My purpose was to be here for my descendants if… needed. I exist to do everything in my power to save at least some of humanity if it is threatened again. There is not much hope of success against such odds, but I could not bear the idea of not being there for our children: the ones we had doomed in order to save them.

  “I was awoken by accident. I have no purpose here. I have no moral claim to this body that rightfully belongs to Jennifer Washington. On top of that, I have no desire to be here. Everything and everyone I know is gone. My skills are useless in this world you have created. I have no purpose and wish to be free of the burdens of life once more. I would have you remove me from Jennifer.”

  “What is it that you did? What is so amazing about our world?” I asked.

  Her face was solemn when she answered, “I cannot tell you that.”

  I searched for a question that might make some sense of everything. “So, are you the soul of Il Saia? Is that it? Does the crystal store souls?”

  “No, my soul returned to the Dreamtime long ago. This is merely a copy of my mind. Nothing with intrinsic value to be saved.”

  I found that very hard to believe, but there was so much I didn’t know. How could I possibly let go the one source of information that might explain what was happening to me? I thought of the shadows I had seen.

  “But, the shadows are still a threat. We need your help to deal with them.”

  “Finn, these shadows are merely a nuisance. Without access to the Source, they pose no threat to the life of the planet. They cannot be killed, so there is little I can do to help, anyway.”

  “Those aren’t just a nuisance! They’re deadly! Can’t you stay for a little while to come up with a way to help those who are infected? Their lives are being ruined. We have to do something to help them!”

  She shook her head. “Finn, I already did everything I could to fight the shadows. I destroyed my world to do it. It is enough. The weak creatures they have become are for you and your civilization to handle. In addition, the longer I stay, the more of your friend will be lost forever.”

  “What? why?”

  “Her soul will only hold the memory of her mind for so long before I begin overwriting it. I’m afraid that I’ve already stayed too long.”

  Frack! Why was hope so often mixed with despair? “Okay, so what do we need to do to remove you?”

  “Removing me is not enough. I have, in effect, replaced Jennifer. Given the situation we expected to wake to, we never made a plan to relinquish the bodies we would possess. I have been thinking about it for some time. I think I have a way for you to retrieve Jennifer.

  “First, you must remove me from her body, and next you must project the memory of her that still resides within her soul into her body again. It should work. With the piece of the Tree of Life you possess, you should have more than enough power to do it. In fact, I see an amazing level of potential within you. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that you had been enhanced in the womb. But many others I have interacted with in your world also have high potential. Perhaps it is the result of some of the breeding directives we tried to imprint on our descendants.”

  Breeding directives? I was adrift without a raft to cling to. What else did I need to know? What did I have to ask her? I needed time. “What breeding directives?”

  “Never mind. It is not important. Your cleverness has made the point moot. The power your people wield with the merely physical is astounding.”

  “Please, can you stay for a little while and help? Can you guide me and teach me some of the things you’re talking about?”

  “Finn, I believe that the less you know, the safer you will be. If I tell you the true nature of what we did, I’d be giving you tools that could be used to disturb things that need to remain untouched. I’m telling you how to retrieve your friend’s essence only because I feel it is my obligation to do so, and I don’t see how it will lead to harm.”

  “I would also urge you to get rid of the shard of the Tree of Life that you carry. It is truly powerful, and it should not be allowed to stay in anyone’s control. The consequences could be terrible. It is not only dangerous to the wielder who is not trained in its proper use, it could doom your whole world should you or your descendants use it unwisely.”

  I wished Dave were here with some over-the-top snarky remark to help swallow the bitter pill Il Saia was forcing down my throat.

  Instead, Dave stuck his head in and said, “Finn, get with it. People are starting to leave. We need to have you give your speech.”

  Crap! “After the memorial, okay?” I said.

  She nodded solemnly. “That will do.”

  The next thing I knew, I was standing on a table looking at all of Gregg’s friends and acquaintances. We were all here to mourn the passing of our friend.

  I cleared my throat and started shakily.

  “I first met Gregg when he and his family moved into the house two doors down from mine…”

  I shivered as a cold wave passed through me and jumped when I heard a voice say, “Is this going to be long? I have things I have to do.” I knew that voice.

  When I searched for the speaker, I found myself staring at a nonchalant Erik Parmely in the front entrance, barely inside the room. He gave me his best evil smirk, but it was lost in the cold darkness that surrounded him. The shadow seemed even bigger than it had before, and its presence was overwhelming. Daddy shadow had come home to break up the party.

  Erik looked around at the murmured response his presence drew. “What? I should be allowed to be here. I killed him, after all.”

  Finn, run away!

  While Spring wailed, Dave cursed and warned people out of his way parting the crowd between him and Parmely.

  Dave said, “I was robbed of your death last time, Parmely. Now, I’m going to finish the job.”

  He reached into his shirt and pulle
d out the whistle. He raised it to his lips, but before he could get one note out, Erik pulled out a gun and shot him twice in the chest.

  As Dave fell to the floor, Erik smiled at me.

  “As for you, golden boy, you’ve got something I want.”

  I didn’t wait for him to raise the gun again. I threw a golden shield between us and slammed it through him with every ounce of strength I had. Erik barely had time to blink in surprise.

  From the first moment of contact, the shadow burned my mind with its hunger and hatred. Unlike the other shadows, it almost stopped my attack, but I pushed with all my strength.

  The shadow flew out of Erik so violently, it threw him backward into the wall.

  I kept pushing the shadow farther. Fortunately, the wall seemed to be no barrier to my second sight.

  The blackness clung to Erik’s aura as it was flung away. His aura flashed to incandescence under the strain before it tore.

  Far more than half of it went with the shadow. The rest snapped back into Erik. He screamed, convulsed, and lay still on the floor.

  I gasped as I felt the shadow consume the portion of Erik’s soul that it had taken. My shield faded with the increasing distance, so I dropped it and brought my awareness back to the room.

  Dave was lying in a growing pool of blood, struggling weakly to get up. With no more thought of Erik, I ran to Dave. I dropped to his side, soaking myself with his blood. I should have been getting used to this by now, but when the sight and smell of the wounds hit me, I still almost vomited from the force of the memories they brought forth.

  I forced my own reaction down as I pushed my Sight into Dave’s shattered chest. Erik’s weapon must have been a higher caliber weapon than Detective Hunter’s. Dave was a mess, but I could see his bear effigy already at work. I didn’t think it would be enough, so I dove in and started trying to help his healing, the same as before.

  The effort occupied every last bit of my attention. I distantly heard Jen call out to me. “Finn! Protect yourself!”

  I put up my shields. The blackness hit me with incredible force. It flowed over me and found the holes in my armor—the holes that my work with Daniel and Holly had left. I hadn’t even been aware how vulnerable that made me.

  Before I could even think, No good deed… an ice pick of cold speared through me. Darkness covered me, and the weight of despair suffocated me. It ripped me apart and devoured me. I couldn’t even scream.

  Much of what happened immediately after that remains muddled, but I remember the eager hunger of the shadow as it bored into me and ripped through me. In moments, the cold, greasy hunger pressed onto my thoughts, and it became me.

  I struggled against its freezing touch as all heat and life drained from me, leaving me… empty… cold… and hungry. An immense yearning for the flaming warmth of life flooded through me. I needed exactly what every person still in the room offered, and I had the power to take it. How cool was that?

  Maybe my dad really had something with the whole live food shtick.

  I knew each one of these irresistible morsels, and I thought of how I would feel as I devoured them: it would be wondrous. Their burning souls would push away the cold and the hunger for a time. I longed for that respite. I had to have it and I would take them all to get it.

  The brave ones trying to help Dave were going to be the first course. Some small piece of me squirmed at the thought of the destruction I would wreak, the lives I would consume, but it was an inconsequential, impotent part.

  During my takeover, I had stumbled back a few feet. Now, I started back toward Dave and his rescuers: Jeff, Jim, and Franky. They were trying to staunch Dave’s wounds.

  It was both amusing and horrifying to contemplate, but I never had any doubt as to what their end would be like. As I approached, Jim glanced at me in confusion and then returned his attention to Dave as he applied first aid.

  That little piece of my conscience raged. It screamed at them all to run, but, just as if they were movie characters in a horror show, they couldn’t hear that little warning coming from the cheap seats.

  My legs seized of their own accord, and I fell hard. It hurt, but I pushed myself up again. I heard Jen yelling a warning to everyone to get out of the room. She was the only person in the room who could see what was happening to me. Jen was glowing the brightest of anyone in the room, and my hunger drove me toward her eagerly. She backed away toward the rear door. I followed, but managed to trip myself again, so I swatted that small part of me—hard. I could feel it drowning in a sea of blackness. I poured my darkness through that rebel fragment, extinguishing the last of that little pest. I was free, and I felt good. Memories brought with me through the centuries of darkness flooded in and found a home in the new me.

  Shadow Shadows of Yesterday

  In the beginning, I was alone, sundered from everything, unable to satisfy the never-ending Hunger and cold that filled me. The Hunger raged within me, lashed me on, but I was unable to truly feed. Feebly, I could latch onto the warmth and sustenance of the Fire, but I lacked the strength to consume it and use it to stave off the cold. Bounty surrounded me, yet I starved. Dull anger and resentment filled me, but only the Hunger mattered, the merciless, incessant Hunger.

  Then, everything changed. One instant I was pathetic and impotent, then in the next, power flooded through me. Power that I had lacked for so long. I used it to devour the Fire I had been pathetically huddling next to. I fed it to the Hunger. The glorious warmth and the respite from pain lasted only a short time as I consumed the Fire, but for a moment, I was content.

  As the Fire faded, the Power did, too. The Hunger returned, worse than before its short absence. I sank back into my powerless, eternal torture. Another aching torment of time passed before I latched onto another Fire and again, I could dimly feel the power I needed, out of my reach. I yearned for it. I longed for it, and I found it again. Suddenly, it was there and with it, I grabbed the Fire and consumed it as well.

  The power was lost again when I consumed the last of the Fire. This happened time and time again until finally I learned that if I did not consume the Fire fully, the power did not go away. I could control the vessel that contained the Fire, and I could use it to find other Fires— Fires upon which I could feed. With every meal, I understood more, and I learned I could become the vehicle that bore the Fire and the Power. My vehicle called itself a “man,” and he called the Fire “spirit.” I soon discovered that the Power came from a totem made of twisted black wood the man had found. As I became the man, the world unfolded before me, and I was Shashawwabenee.

  I was one of The People, walking through the forests, searching for my prey. My legs were strong, and power flowed to me from my new totem, the black stick of magical wood. Using it, I could pull power from the blazing Fire that I now knew as the “spirit” of Shashawwabenee. My body was young and strong, and my captive spirit was bright. I moved stealthily through the woods as my father taught me, hunting for game with bright spirits. I had to be fast and stealthy to bring them down with my ax or my hands. When I captured one, I killed it quickly to release the spirit within so that I could consume it. Over time, I became stronger.

  Sometimes my body would complain of a different kind of hunger. Then, I would eat the animals as well. I liked this kind of hunger because I could satisfy it, placate it with food. It also briefly took my mind away from the true Hunger.

  Everything changed the day I ran into Tahkaska. Her spirit dwarfed those of the animals upon which I had been feeding. I hailed her in warm greeting, remembering my nights with her, satisfying yet another hunger. It had been a feeding of a different sort, which brought pleasure and warmth, but it could not compare to the slaking of the Hunger. So, when she came to my arms, I broke her neck and fed upon her spirit. It was glorious, but I felt a loss with her death. I cast about for something to assuage this loss. Then I remembered my village. I returned there and fed well. I killed all those I found and consumed their spirits. With each one
, I became stronger, andmy feelings of loss became less distracting. I felt the final struggle of Shashawwabenee’s original spirit: it finally broke within me. After that, those feelings of loss never bothered me again. I didn’t like those feelings, so from then on, every time I took another body, I spent the extra effort to crush all such resistance immediately.

  With my new body, I was able to feed at will. I found it convenient and easy to increase its size and its ability to kill. It made hunting easier. But, even though I tried to maintain it, my body grew deformed, crippled, and painful, so I hunted for another. Soon, I greeted another man on the trail. Instead of just killing him to feed, I invited him to talk. I showed him the black totem that I wore in a pouch held by a thin leather strap around my neck and told him of the power within it. I boasted to him about all it could do.

  When I turned my back to him momentarily, he struck me with a rock, took my totem and its power, and as my body died, death freed me of Shashawwabenee. I attached myself to and became… Alawaymotakah. I was a traveler and a trader to faraway lands and was returning home with goods from the People of the Eternal Sun. We would use these goods to buy food and other things for the village. They were useless trinkets to me now, so I left them on the trail. I continued back to my village free of my burdens.

  There, I feasted well. Throughout the years that followed, I became many others. I became women or men. With each new me, I found new sources of food. My names were many. It was a time of plenty while I was able to feed the never-ending Hunger often enough to provide some relief, even though it always returned and demanded more. The other people learned to fear me and put up barricades to stop me, but they never worked. If I became hungry enough, I would let one of them kill me. They always picked up the totem, and I would take them. I would just stroll into their protected areas and they would greet me as a brother.

  One day, I met new people. Their spirits blazed with Fire and Light that outshone all others. I tried to destroy their bodies to feed on their warmth, but they were not as fragile as the others I had met.