Daughters of Delirium (Tainted Queens Book 1)

by A. M. Miller

  He still looked like Dion, just in a way that she’d never allowed herself to see him before. The fluttering feeling in her chest was frightening and wrong. She turned away from him.

  In the mirror, she caught her reflection, except it wasn’t her face she saw. The girl in the mirror was Tiffany. Raven looked down at her hands and saw the sparkling acrylic nails that her friend loved, but she hated. She opened and closed the hands that were not hers. She touched her stomach and felt toned muscle.

  Raven looked back up at her friends. Whatever had happened, she was no longer inside of her own body.

  30

  “We’re leaving Tiffany,” the other Raven said. Raven looked at the two of them, still not fully understanding what was going on.

  Dion and her other self stood side by side. For the first time, she noticed that they were both wearing University T-shirts and backpacks.

  Looking at them her heart ached. They were going to leave and she’d be stuck here forever. A desperate need to be close to them made Raven rush forward. She made it a few steps before hitting an invisible wall. Raven stepped back. She reached out and felt the wall press against her hand. She felt around, trying to find a way past it.

  “We’ll try not to forget you,” the other Raven said.

  Raven pounded her fist against the wall. “Wait for me.” When she spoke it was Tiffany’s voice she heard. “Don’t leave.”

  Dion took the other Raven’s hand in his. Their fingers intertwined. They smiled as they waved at her.

  “Raven. Dion.” Raven yelled as they slowly began to turn away. “No! Please, don’t go.” They kept their backs to Raven. “Please, Raven, please. I need you. I need you both.” Tears trailed down her face.

  They started to walk away. She was losing them. Raven slammed her fist against the wall. When that didn’t work she began kicking and clawing. She’d do anything to break the wall that separated them.

  “But they don’t need you,” a voice whispered from the shadows, “No one needs you.”

  “Shut up,” Raven yelled.

  “Look at them. Look at how happy they are without you.”

  Raven screamed for them trying to drown out the sound of the voice. They were supposed to be together. They’d promised each other.

  “Did you honestly think he’d pick you? You’re nothing but a dirty whore, Tiffany,” the voice hissed.

  Raven covered her ears. “Shut up.”

  “And what about your other friend? How long did you think she’d stand in your shadow? You and I both know you only drag her down. She already left you once. If she was smart she would have stayed gone.”

  Raven could still hear the voice even with her ears covered.

  An image of a younger Raven waving as she stepped into her father’s car, popped into Raven’s head. She tried to chase after her. Her foot slipped against the asphalt. Blood dripped from her knees. The younger Raven got into the car and never looked back.

  “No. It’s not like that. She didn’t want to leave. She’s my best friend. I’d never hurt her,” Raven said.

  “Liar. She’s better than you without even trying and you hated it. Your entire life you’ve hungered for attention and all the little princess has to do is get attacked by her psycho mother and all eyes are on her.”

  “You’re wrong.”

  “What have you done to get people to look at you? How far have you sank?”

  Another image came of Tiffany lying down on a bed. The boy hovering over her had a face Raven didn’t recognize. His hands reached up Tiffany’s shirt and Raven felt his touch crawling up her skin. It was the week after Nana left. Tiffany squeezed her body tight against his, pretending not to feel the pain.

  “No, it wasn’t like that. I liked him and he liked me. I’m not ashamed,” Raven said.

  The voice laughed.

  Some part of Raven realized that the emotions she was feeling didn’t belong to her, but it was becoming harder to think clearly. She turned back to the invisible wall. Dion and the other Raven were beginning to fade into the darkness.

  “But you have done shameful things.”

  Raven blinked and they were gone. She felt hollow inside. All she could do was stare at the empty space they’d once occupied.

  “Haven’t you, Tiffany?” The voice asked.

  “Tiffany.”

  Raven looked over her shoulder. The voice that called her sounded different from the one before. It was strained. Raven watched the dark background transform into a living room. With one look at the flower wallpaper and brown sofa, Raven realized it was Tiffany’s house. She hadn’t been over in a while but it looked exactly as Raven remembered.

  “Tiffany,” the voice cried.

  Raven’s feet moved on their own as they carried her closer towards the sound. It came from outside the living room. Raven stepped into the dark lit hallway. The floorboards creaked under her feet. A glowing white door stood at the end of the hall. Raven knew she should turn back but couldn’t. The hallway narrowed the closer she got to the door.

  “Tiffanyyy.” The cry sounded like a wounded animal.

  Raven rushed forward without thinking. Her caution was swept away in a tidal wave of fear. If something happened to the person on the other side of the door, Raven knew it would be her fault.

  “Hold on, Daddy. I’m coming,” Raven yelled. Again it was Tiffany’s voice that came out of Raven’s mouth. Raven reach for the doorknob but when she tried to turn it, the knob wouldn’t move. She strained trying to get the knob to turn. Her hand slipped. The white pressure print from the knob on her palm faded to red.

  “Tiffany, I need you,” Tiffany’s father cried from the other side of the door. Raven tried to open the door again. The knob rattled but still would not open. She banged her shoulder against the wood, hoping to muscle the door open.

  “Looks like you’ll have to say goodbye again,” the voice from before teased.

  “Ugh, Tiffany I need my medicine.” There was a loud cough followed by the unmistakable sound of someone throwing up. Raven could smell it now. It was so strong she wondered how she hadn’t noticed it before. Her stomach turned. The air was bitter with it.

  “Poor daddy’s sick again,” the voice said.

  “Daddy!” Raven pounded on the door. She could hear him coughing again. Tiffany’s father was right there but she couldn’t reach him. Raven felt powerless.

  “Wonder how much it’ll cost this time to make him better. You probably won’t be able to go to college because of this. All that time studying, such a waste. You’ll have to get a job in order to help pay the bills. We both know your mother can’t do it alone,” the voice said.

  Raven thought of the image she seen earlier. Dion and the other Raven had left her behind. The pain she felt then was renewed. They were going to move on without her. Raven would remain stuck inside of this house forever.

  “Admit it. Part of you hates him because of it,” the voice hissed.

  “No, it’s not his fault he’s sick. It’s not like he planned any of this.”

  “Your right, Tiffany. It’s not his fault. It’s yours. He worked that horrid job at the factory for you and your mother. All those nice things you own were bought from his sweat and blood. Every day he ingested thousands of chemicals just to keep you happy.”

  “I didn’t know it was making him sick. I never would have let him work there if I did.”

  “It’s not that you didn’t know. It’s that you didn’t want to know. If you had paid attention you would have seen how sick he was. You remember how tired he got after work. How he sat in his chair for hours without moving. The signs were there, but you pretended not to see.”

  Raven felt the urge to deny what the voice said but when she opened her mouth nothing came out.

  Hands wrapped around her arms. “Don’t bother denying it,” the voice whispered, close enough to tickle her ear. “I know the truth. I know who you really are.”

  “You don’t know me. You don’t k
now anything about me.” Raven hissed balling her hands into fist. She turned around ready to strike but stopped once she saw where the voice was coming from.

  Tiffany stood behind Raven.

  “Of course I know who you are. You are me and I am you.” Tiffany smiled, showing off her razor sharp teeth. “Or, I suppose it would be more accurate to say, I’m the darker side of you. I know the truths you won’t even admit to yourself. I am your darkest thoughts and I know you better than anyone else.”

  Tiffany stepped closer. Raven knocked into the door trying to avoid her. Tiffany raised her hand. Her nails were long white claws. They scraped against Raven’s skin as Tiffany touched her cheek. Her eyes were completely white. Looking at them, Raven felt like she was falling.

  The pale dark.

  “Do you want to know the truth? No matter how hard you try to hold on to them they’ll always leave you,” Tiffany said with a frown. Her other hand came up to stroke Raven’s hair. She brought both hands to Raven’s face. She held her, making it so Raven couldn’t look away.

  Tiffany continued speaking her voice a soft whisper. “No one wants to love an empty shell. You’re nothing, a nobody, and everyone knows it.”

  Tiffany held her for a moment longer. Then she pushed Raven’s face away, laughing. Her laughter filled the quiet hallway and the whole house seemed to shake with it.

  Waves of despair washed over Raven. She covered her ears and shut her eyes. She tried to block out everything. Tiffany’s pain was too much and she couldn’t bare it any longer. She was being crushed under the weight of her friend’s emotions. Raven felt something inside her snap close. She was pulled away from everything. The air around her constricted then grew lighter.

  When Raven opened her eyes again she was no longer in Tiffany’s house. A quick glance around told her that she was back inside the bathroom. Her back pressed against the bathtub and she was staring at the base of the toilet. Raven pushed herself off of the ground. She rushed over to the mirror.

  A sigh of relief escaped her lips when she saw her own reflection staring back at her. Her hair was still bright red but a least everything else was back to normal. She closed her eyes. She never thought she could miss the solace of her own mind.

  Something shifted on the floor next to Raven. She looked down and saw Tiffany sitting there. She sat in the same position Raven had been in earlier. Although Tiffany’s face was covered Raven could still hear the whimpering noises coming from her.

  Raven took a step forward and then paused. She wasn’t sure what had happened but knew she didn’t want to experience it again. It had felt as if she’d been erased and replaced by Tiffany. Raven felt every one of Tiffany’s emotions as if they were her own.

  “Tiffany,” Raven called.

  Tiffany mumbled something too low for Raven to hear.

  “Tiffany, what’s wrong?”

  More mumbling.

  “I can’t hear you,” Raven said but Tiffany’s voice did not get any louder. She closed her eyes. If she got closer, she ran the risk of getting sucked in again, but staying away meant abandoning her friend. Whatever had happened to Raven was having an adverse effect on Tiffany.

  Raven opened her eyes and with one look at her friend she knew what she had to do. She squatted down next to Tiffany. After a moment of hesitation, Raven placed her hand on Tiffany’s arm. Tiffany froze under her touch. Raven held her breath.

  When nothing happened Raven relaxed enough to exhale.

  “Tiffany?” Raven called again, shaking her friend’s arm.

  “…thing…no…body” Tiffany mumbled. Raven leaned in closer, trying to hear what her friend was saying. Her face was now only inches away from Tiffany’s.

  “Nothing…nobody…” Tiffany repeated over and over.

  Raven’s heart stopped. She remembered when the other Tiffany had said those same words to her in her mockingly sweet voice. The weight of each word sank deeper into her heart.

  Panicked, Raven pulled at Tiffany’s arms. She needed to see Tiffany’s face. She needed to know that this was the real Tiffany she was talking to. Tiffany’s head shot up. Tears ran down her cheeks. Her eyes were unfocused, but they were her eyes, not the phantom white of the monster. Tiffany continued to mumble those two words.

  “Looks like she’s cracked her cookie,” a voice said from behind Raven.

  Raven turned to see the skirts of a red dress. She raised her head to see the black haired girl. She looked older now, more mature. The pale girl leaned over Raven, studying Tiffany. She looked back to Raven and smiled. “Now someone’s going to have to piece her all back together again.”

  31

  The Heart Queensland

  Lu stepped out into the hall. She rubbed at her tear stained cheeks. Had it been anyone else she would have stopped by her chamber to adjust her appearance. Lu walked as fast as she could without bringing notice. Ramor followed, close on her heels. Another queen in her land was a delicate situation. She could not leave matters in the hands of fate.

  Lu was almost to the council room when she stopped.

  The man down the hall stood with his back facing Lu. She could not see his face but she would have known his short dark red hair anywhere. A deep red, that in dim lighting, could be mistaken for black.

  “Leo?”

  Lu felt relieved to see him. Out of all her family members, she’d been closest to Leo. They were only four years apart and had spent most of their childhood together. It took great restraint to walk and not run over to her brother.

  “Leo,” Lu called again once she was closer.

  Leo turned around. He smiled. Most of the right side of his face was burnt, preventing it from becoming a full smile. Lu smiled back at him. He’d had the scar for so long Lu often forgot what he looked like without it. Her heart warmed when she looked at him.

  Leo bowed. “It’s good to see you, my queen.”

  “Not as good as it is to see you, Prince Leeano.” Lu wanted to hug him and tell him how much she missed him but she reminded herself where she was. Having him back here with her changed everything. He was the first good thing to happen to her since her parents’ death.

  “Prince Leeano, I was not aware you’d made it back,” Ramor said coming up behind Lu.

  Leo looked away from her, eyes falling on Ramor. “Yes, well the queensland seems to be preoccupied with our other visitors.” He watched the servant scurry across the hallways.

  Lu wasn’t surprised Leo already knew about The Red Queen and Prince’s arrival. He seemed to always know what was going on in the queensland. Leo was always watching, always listening.

  “Their arrival is an interesting surprise, but I fear we may already be running late.” Ramor pulled out his pocket watch.

  Leo nodded. “Then I’ll come with you.”

  “You’re coming to the council meeting?” Lu asked.

  Leo avoided nobility. He preferred the company of his books and experiments over people. He didn’t mind observing so long as the subjects were kept at a distance. The only people he ever freely interacted with inside the castle were Lu and Eleaa. Lu would have liked him as her Ace but he’d made it clear the only role he wanted was to be her brother.

  Have you changed? Lu wondered.

  Leo’s expression grew troubled. “Yes, there’s something I discovered during my trip I think everyone needs to hear, but perhaps it’s better if I tell you first.”

  “What is it?”

  “A toxin.”

  “My queen, we really have no time to waste,” Ramor said, looking down at his watch again.

  Lu looked back at Ramor and then again at her brother. “Alright, the rest we will discuss later. Come now.”

  The three made their way to the council room. There were too many problems for Lu to focus on just one. She wanted to ask more about the toxin but she needed to be prepared to meet with the queen. Ramor opened the door and walked in. Leo followed behind, leaving Lu as the last to enter the room.

  All conv
ersations ended the moment Lu entered. The members of the council stood, their chairs screeching against the wood floor, and bowed. Everyone was in attendance. Lu walked over to the front of the table. Her eyes landed on The Red Queen and Prince.

  They stood at the other end of the table. The Red Queen was old enough to be Lu’s grandmother. Her reddish brown skin wrinkled around her eyes and neck. Her nose took up most of her face, long and pointed, a gold ring pierced between the nostrils. She draped herself in jewels and expensive fabrics. Even the scarf that wrapped her brown hair was full of sparkling rubies. The only things that did not sparkle on The Red Queen were her murky gray eyes.

  The prince, Lu’s betrothed, stood next to his mother. He was a year older than Lu. Hefty body and short stature. His skin was a shade lighter than his mother's but held the same red undertone and a splattering of acne. His only redeeming quality seemed to be his eyes. They were large with a rich brown coloring. His long curly eyelashes reminded Lu of butterfly wings.

  Too beautiful for a face like his.

  Not that any of it mattered. Looks were of no importance to Lu. They were all here to play the roles they’d been assigned.

  “Please take your seats,” Lu said. The standing council members followed her order.

  Lu took her seat. Ramor and Domicin sat beside her. Leo moved to sit on the other side of Domicin, eyeing the young Jack.

  Lu looked down the table.

  Lecive sat to the left of The Red Queen and the prince on the right.

  Lu eyed her oldest brother. He stared openly back at her, opening his hands and a smirk on his lips. She grimaced and turned her gaze back to the other queen.

  “Red Queen, we are grateful that you were able to make this trip at such short notice but we were unaware that you’d be here so soon,” Lu said with a smile.

  “That much is clear, Queen of Heart.” The Red Queen’s voice was full of disdain.