REM

by Valentine, J. D.

  Danny laughed. "Sounds dreamy."

  "Oh, trust me, it was the fucking picture-perfect, little white American fairytale."

  A waitress came up and dropped two beers on the table. Danny wanted so badly to grab the beautiful pale ale that perforated a white foam at the brim. He was about to say something when the waitress realized she made a mistake. She smiled slightly and apologized as she walked to the table behind them.

  Danny shook his head and looked back at Eric. "Let me guess, she was banging a college boy?"

  Eric laughed. "No, it's better. It turns out that she was banging the assistant manager at a Walmart."

  "You're messing with me?" Danny laughed from his glass.

  "No, swear to it." Eric put his hand up like he was swearing in at court. "The last thing I heard is she living in some bum fuck town in the middle of nowhere. She had two ugly kids, and weighs more than a truck."

  Both men started to die laughing at the table. A few people around them stared them down until resorting back to their conversations.

  Eric sat forward. "You wanna know what chaps my ass the most about the whole thing?"

  Danny shrugged, "He was a greeter at Walmart?"

  "For your information, he was the assistant manager of the auto care center," Eric said. He leaned back, picking up his glass, smiling. "No, no. The thing that chaps my ass is if she really loved me, she would have broken it off well before I was leaving for Iraq. The day I found out she was cheating was the same day I had just lost one of my Marines to a roadside IED." Eric leaned back, grabbing his coke from the table. "Put me in one of the darkest places I've ever been to."

  Eric's eyes deviated from the table for a moment. Danny saw that he too was looking at a few ladies work down a glass of wine. The bearded man pulled himself back to the present with a shake of his head.

  "But enough about me. Let's get to the point of my depressing story."

  "What, you woke up with a dick resting on your thigh?"

  Eric held up his glass, threateningly. "Let me finish."

  Danny put his hands up, surrendering.

  Eric set the glass down. "The fact of the matter is, Maria loves you, man. I've seen it, and there is no denying it. Yes, she left alone on a holiday where you should be with your family, but it took seventeen years for her to get to that point. So don't worry about her, worry about you. Focus on how to make yourself a better man."

  "Words of wisdom," Danny muttered.

  Eric played with his half-empty glass of water. "You know, Dan," Eric said. "All this time I’ve known you, I still haven’t learned how you started with drinking."

  "And you never will," Danny said as he leaned back in the chair. "Plus I’d rather stay in a positive light."

  Eric smiled as he stood up. "Alright, chief. Let me leave you with this."

  "Oh, great. Another psychology lesson by the great Eric Forbes," Danny replied, pretending to fall asleep.

  "Just shut up and turn your hearing aids up, old man. Einstein said that the truth isn't always a blinding light. Sometimes the truth is that deep darkness. Take it from me, it's in that darkness where you find out who you truly are."

  Danny sat hunched over his glass, nodding. After a moment, he looked up. "When the hell did you become a wise man?"

  Eric smiled as he finished his drink. "I've always been. I'm the Dahli Lama with a gun." He tapped the table with his hand. "Let that message sink in, chief, and remember sucking beers down ain't gonna make it better. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a ten o'clock date with a brunette who has daddy issues." Eric dropped two twenties on the table. He stuck his hand out for a handshake.

  Danny stood grasping his hand. "How old is this brunette?"

  "Old enough, but a gentleman never tells his secrets," Eric said with a wink. "Have a nice night, chief."

  CHAPTER SIX

  THE EXHAUST ECHOED in the garage, but the engine cut abruptly, leaving only the rear tail lights to illuminate the darkness in the garage. Danny sighed as he popped open the door and pulled himself out of the vehicle. The outside air was colder than he remembered when he left the restaurant, making him shiver slightly as a breeze rushed through the garage opening.

  "Freezing out here," Danny muttered to himself as he grabbed one of the trashcans and wheeled it out to the curb.

  He was about to go back to the recyclables when a burst of choked laughter erupted from the street corner. A dark figure sat hunched over near the mailboxes. Danny's footsteps were drowned out as the man's laughter became a vicious cough.

  "Evening," Danny called out.

  The man nearly fell over as he scrambled to stand up.

  "What the hell, man?" the man replied showing yellow teeth that looked like they were rotting.

  Danny took a step forward into the light. "Couldn't help but notice you were having a good time."

  The man smiled confirming to Danny his teeth were, in fact, rotting away. "Why don't you mind your own fucking business?"

  "Way I see it, you being on this street corner is my business."

  "So you think you're king shit, huh? Go watch your fucking television and just leave me alone." The man started to laugh in an almost slight wheeze.

  Danny smiled. "What's so funny?"

  "Wouldn't you like to know," the man said. His laugh picked up a little, but he let it subside. "I guess you'll know soon enough."

  Danny took a step forward. "That a threat?"

  "No, just the truth, but even if it was a threat, what are you gonna do about it? It's a free country, and I can mind my own business wherever I please. Now, go fuck off, or I'm gonna give you some real fucking problems."

  A metal click showed the glimmer of a blade in the man's hands.

  Oh shit.

  Danny took a few steps back putting his hand up. His other hand pushed aside his jacket.

  "That’s right tough guy," The man said holding the knife up. He took a step forward.

  "You really want to do this?" Danny said. He quickly drew his 1911 from his holster.

  The man’s smile quickly faded. "A big guy like you needs a gun, eh?"

  Danny lined the sights up with the man’s head. "I cheat."

  The man held his knife up contemplating what to do next. Danny held his weapon steady on the man’s head.

  The man quickly let it drop to the floor. "Look, I was just being an asshole, pal. Let's not get ahead of ourselves here."

  Danny took a step forward. "I can go from zero to one hundred real quick. So, I suggest you run faster than you ever have down that block and never come back."

  "Okay, okay," The man said, cowering.

  Danny took a step forward so he was inches from the man. "Cause if I ever see you on this street again, I’ll give you something to laugh about. Got me?"

  The man shook his head. "I got you."

  "Go," Danny said softly.

  The man backpedaled and then when he got enough space took off in a dead sprint. Danny walked forward and picked up the pocketknife. He watched as the man disappeared around the corner.

  Damn crackheads. They should be up north, not here.

  Danny holstered his weapon and walked back to the garage. He thought about calling the cops, but what good would it do.

  They pick up one two more pop up the next day.

  The garage door moaned closed, while the side gate slammed closed again. Danny stood in the back patio for a moment. He had no dog to greet him nor kids. Just a dark living room that he could see through the sliding glass door.

  ***

  An awkward chime rang inside the house as Danny pressed the doorbell. The door opened, and Ken greeted Danny with a broad smile. "Dan the Man! I thought you were blowing me off."

  "Ken I would never," Danny said with a smile.

  Ken looked around as if he was being watched, but quickly looked back at Danny. "Tell me you have the stuff?"

  Danny pulled a six-pack from behind his back.

  Ken poked his head out, looking left
and right quickly. He opened the door and ushered Danny in with a rushed hand, "Okay, come on, get in here."

  Danny shuffled through the door.

  "Come on. Come. Come. Take off the shoes, though," Ken commanded with a hushed voice. The door shut behind him. Danny stood next to an old leather sofa as Ken locked the door. He turned around with a smile. "You’re late, Dan, but don’t worry. I saved the best film."

  "What? You watched the first one?"

  Ken patted his back. "I mean, it has been a couple of hours, my friend. You missed Keanu Reeves doing some crazy stuff to some Russian guys."

  "I’m sure I’ll make it all up with the second one." Danny smiled as he looked around the home.

  It was easy to tell that they were raising a family. A toy rocket ship turned on as Danny’s boot nearly crushed it. He carefully tiptoed around the tiny obstacles as Ken led him to the kitchen in the back.

  "Sorry, Dan," Ken said, slightly embarrassed with the mess. He looked back to the living room. "You know, kids."

  Danny quickly slid a beer into Ken’s hand.

  Ken struggled to figure a bottle opener. Danny grabbed it and twisted it open, sliding back over to Ken.

  "You are my saving grace," Ken boasted.

  "I think you are mine as well, Ken," Danny replied with a smile as he grabbed a bottle of iced tea from the fridge.

  Both men clinked, taking a sip. "Dan, that is the good stuff, my friend. I know you are a busy man, but thank you for coming over. I rarely get time to be just a raw man. It’s great to be alone---" Ken stopped midway through the sentence.

  Danny took another sip, trying to ignore the comment.

  "Dan." Ken set his beer on the kitchen counter. "I didn’t mean to."

  "It’s alright, Ken. I know you didn’t mean it." Danny took another sip.

  "Look, my friend. Ishita and I have had some tough times. She has walked out on me, saying she would never come back. Said she should have married Kabir." Ken nudged Danny on his shoulder. "Guess what, my friend?"

  Danny looked up. "She made you sleep on the couch that night."

  "That is almost every night," Ken winked as he picked up his beer and took a sip. "No, she came back, and that was how we had the second little one." Ken lifted his eyebrows jokingly.

  Danny couldn’t help but laugh.

  "Maybe too much information, but I can’t lie. Now, enough about me. How’s it going, my man?"

  Danny took another sip setting the bottle on the table. "Well, I’m—" Danny’s head went to the floor as he tried to unjumble his thoughts. "I’m shit, Ken."

  "My man!" Ken took another large sip. "What happened? I thought it was getting better?"

  "I thought the same, but she brought up possibly moving to Tahoe."

  "Tahoe! With that tall brother of hers."

  "Yeah."

  Ken shook his head. "You know that one time he came down, he called me a curry-smelling brown fella." Ken’s face started to turn a little red. "I almost Kali Ma’d his ass." He made the move like he snatched someone's heart. "I mean, what’s wrong with curry, and why is that guy such an asshole?"

  Danny could tell that cursing sounded like poison in Ken’s mouth.

  "Alright, calm down there, Kenny," Danny laughed. "I’m on your side with that. Her brother is a bag of shit."

  Ken smiled. "Great minds think alike, Danny, and I understand why you are down in the--uh--."

  "The dumps, Ken."

  "Yes! The dumps." Ken set the beer on the table and walked up with his arms out. "Come on, bring it in, my friend."

  Danny’s brow furrowed as he looked Ken up and down. "What the hell are you doing, Ken?"

  "It is called a bro hug. If you do not give in to your feelings, you will never learn to cope." Ken waved his hands inward. "Come on."

  Danny was about to push back when Ken embraced him and pulled him close.

  "It will all be alright, my friend," Ken muttered as he patted Danny’s back. "We are hard men, but sometimes we have to give in to our emotions."

  Danny shook his head. "Hey Ken, do me a favor?"

  "Of course, Mr. Danny," Ken said with his eyes closed still in a massive embrace with Danny.

  "Please don’t use the phrase ‘hard’ and ‘men’ while you are hugging me."

  Ken’s eyes darted open, and he pushed away quickly. He cleared his throat as he fiddled with his hands. "My bad."

  Danny laughed as he took a sip of his iced tea. "I’m not homophobic or nothing, I just don’t swing that way."

  Ken put his hands up. "Okay, okay, I get it. Lesson learned."

  "Life lessons, Ken."

  "Yes, life lessons," Kenny embarrassingly replied.

  The oven beeped, pulling both men from their moment.

  Ken opened the oven and grabbed a plate. "Listen, Dan the Man, enough about what happened."

  The smell of curry filled the air making Danny realize the dormant hunger that had built up in his stomach. Ken filled the entire plate with chicken korma. The sight of the food immediately made Danny smile. The overflowing plate was handed to Danny, who took it without hesitation.

  Ken raised his beer, "You just find a seat and enjoy, my man."

  In light of it all, Danny was smiling. Both men laughed and enjoyed their time unwinding. It did not take long for Ken to become buzzed, which added to the humor of the night. Danny became more focused on Ken’s commentary than the actual dialogue from the movie. After three beers, Ken was passed out on the couch, and the film was nearly over. Danny did the dishes and opened the fridge for another iced tea. His eyes lingered on the beers, but he grabbed the last iced tea and shut the fridge door. Keanu Reeves was still kicking ass on the screen as Ken laid sprawled out on the couch. Danny muted the TV and grabbed a blanket. He tossed it over Ken who caught it by the edge and pulled it close to his body.

  Danny laughed to himself. "Yeah, we are hard men, alright."

  He shut the lights as he gently closed the front door behind him and locked it with a spare key that was in a planter box. Danny stood outside for a few minutes, taking in the night sky. It was nearly midnight, and he knew that most people had turned in for the evening. The quiet suburbs seemed at peace that night, or maybe it was Danny who was at peace. After all, his priorities were straight. The only thing he wished was that everything else in his life would catch up.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  THE WAITING ROOM had that same overwhelming feeling, like the first time. Danny could tell that something just felt off. A new receptionist sat across from him. She was an older woman with grey hair that was curly and cut short. She wore glasses that would occasionally slip down the bridge of her nose as she tried typing with only her two index fingers.

  Danny sat with his leg resting on his opposite knee, while he thumbed through the local newspaper. The front page had some article about the rise in homelessness. Danny rolled his eyes about how leprosy was making a come back in Los Angeles.

  Damn news agencies make it seem like the world is falling apart.

  Danny could hear shouting, making both he and the receptionist perk up a little. Suddenly, the door swung open and a woman emerged red in the face.

  "Doesn’t want to give me meds, huh?" the woman muttered in a low tone. "Just want some fucking sleep, and the bitch can’t give me meds." She turned around enraged. "Well, fuck you! You fucking bitch!"

  The door slammed shut as the woman stormed off towards the elevator. The receptionist looked at Danny who shrugged with a half-smile. The lady chuckled to herself as she continued typing her usual two words a minute.

  The door opened again, and Julie walked out, pulling her blouse tight.

  Julie looked over at Danny and smiled. "Ah, Dan. An interesting evening we are having?"

  Danny set the paper down and stood. "I wouldn’t quite use that adjective, but it is a day," he said as he shook Julie’s hand.

  A smile came across her face. "Well, my appointment just canceled early so I can see you now."

>   Danny stood. "Great ‘cause I wanted to talk to you about my meds."

  The receptionist laughed with Julie this time, as Danny walked into her office. The smell of lavender once again filled his senses as he immediately went for the chair he sat in before. The door shut behind him and Julie took her seat.

  "So, how has your week been going?" Julie asked.

  Danny rubbed the stubble on his face. "I can’t say it’s been a great one. I’ve been dealing with some wackos lately."

  Julie laughed as she cleaned off her glasses. "All I can say is that I enjoy our level-headed discussions."

  "Been crazy here, too?"

  Julie leaned in. "Let’s just say there have been more than a fair share lately. I’ve had to refer out some patients that I could normally handle. I’ve never been so busy."

  Danny smiled as he adjusted himself in the seat. "You and me both. Had some bum pull a knife on me the other night."

  "What? Oh my god are you alright?"

  "Surprisingly, I am," Danny said calmly. "I mean I’ve had similar situations, but I held my ground. It helped that I was carrying my service weapon with me."

  "Did you call the police? I mean, my God, having someone running around like that it’s a little disconcerting."

  Danny laughed as he crossed his leg. "Trust me he ran for the hills. Dropped his knife and his manhood. Plus, if I did call the cops, I’ve got to talk to an officer and fill out a report. It wasn’t worth going the extra mile for some crackhead who will probably OD by the end of the week."

  "Oh." Julie pushed up her glasses and sat up. "Well, I take it you have been in those situations before?"

  "Julie, I was an officer for twenty years. If I panicked every time someone got a little hostile, I wouldn’t be sitting here. It’s just interesting how people think a gun is the ultimate source of protection."

  "What do you mean?" Julie cocked her head slightly. "You were the one holding the gun, am I correct?"

  "You’re right," Danny said. "But anybody trained in a situation like that knows that anything ten feet and closer the guy with the knife usually wins."