Always Series Box Set

by Becs, Lindsay

  Readers, THANK YOU!! Thank you from the deepest parts of my heart for all your kind words, reviews, fights over book boyfriends (*cough, cough* Joanna *cough*), and all the shares, mentions, and recommendations. I wouldn’t be doing any of this if it wasn’t for you.

  Tricia, you, my dear, have been there from day one and I’m incredibly thankful for you! We make the perfect duo and I’m so, so glad for that. You have helped mold me into a much better writer and I’m eternally grateful. You are the best word doctor there is, making my words beautiful. Thank you for your constant patience, friendship, and pure perfection. Ewe, are my favorite!

  My team behind the scenes:

  Stacy, you help keep me in check and straight when I throw giant curve balls at you. Thank you for going with my crazy ideas and keeping my crazier ass in line. I value you so much. Thank you.

  Joanna and Merci from Beyond the Read, you girls are my biggest supporters and I love you both so, so much! Thank you for believing in me and getting excited about each and everything I put out. You make my job so much sweeter.

  My Betas, ARC team, & Pimpers, YOU ARE EVERYTHING!!! I love you all with my whole heart! Thank you for giving me your time, your thoughts, your love, and everything in between.

  Baby, thank you for trusting me when I spend too much time and money on things you don’t understand. Thank you for asking questions and for making me draw a diagram to help you understand. Thank you for live reading with me, supporting my dreams, and being the best muse for all my sarcastic banter. You rock my world. Loves!

  Always Bonus Epilogue

  Josie

  My time on this earth is coming to an end. My body is giving out on me. Beginning to fail more and more.

  I wish so damn much it wasn’t. I wish I could stay here next to the man of my dreams forever. Watch my kids grow, graduate, get married, have their own kids.

  But I wouldn’t trade these last months for anything.

  Travis was so angry when I told him I didn’t want to go through more chemo. He thought I was giving up. I guess in some ways I am.

  But I knew. I had this feeling in my gut that told me that no matter what I did, my time was up. I didn’t want my last days and moments with my family to be spent with me getting sick and being too weak to do anything. I wanted to enjoy our time. Love them all and be able to show them how much.

  Last week I was climbing the steps toward our bedroom and I could hardly breathe by the time I reached the top. Sweat was beading down my back as my chest heaved for air. I fell to my butt and cried. Because I knew. My time was ending sooner rather than later.

  Tonight, I asked Travis if we could have a fire outside with the kids to celebrate Penny’s birthday. And because he gives me anything I ask for, he made it happen.

  I held Penny a little tighter and a little longer, wanting to cherish every second. Enjoying her laugh and cuddles and sticky fingers and kisses.

  Tate let me braid her hair, which she hasn’t done since she was about five and started making her own stubborn choices. She told me about the new boy at school she thinks is cute. I listened to her gush, wishing I’d have the chance to see her get ready for her first date, which I’m sure will happen any day now.

  My dear sweet Ollie even came down from school for the weekend. Of the three kids, I think it’s hardest on him. He tries to stay tough and strong, but I know he’s hurting inside. He covers it by joking around and making everyone laugh, and I adore him even more for it.

  By the time we’re climbing into bed, I don’t want to go to sleep yet. I want more time. More Travis. Always more Travis.

  “Make love to me,” I say quietly as he exits the bathroom.

  “Pretty girl…” he says almost like a warning.

  Looking up at him, a stupid tear falls down my cheek. “Please. Today has been the best day, and I don’t want it to end yet.”

  “We can watch some Friends and I can hold you then. You don’t have to push yourself to do anything more.”

  “I know I’m not the same,” I start, holding back all the emotions that are trying to roll out. “But I need to feel you, Trav. I need to have you on me, inside me. I don’t know when the last time will be, but I know that I feel good today and I want to feel even better with you.”

  He stares at me, and I watch his throat bob as he contemplates what he should do. Always so responsible and serious. Always taking care of me. Thinking of me before himself.

  “Fuck,” he sighs, dropping to his knees in front of where I’m sitting on the edge of our bed. He lays his head in my lap, my fingers sinking into his hair. Even that I try to sear into my mind. I want to take everything I can into the afterlife with me.

  After a few minutes of us sitting like that in silence, his lips press a soft kiss to the inside of my thigh. A smile pulls on my lips as I feel him giving in. He kisses up my leg as his hands come around to grip my ass.

  “You are the single sexiest woman I have ever seen in my life. I always want you, Joes. All the fucking time. I’m just afraid of hurting you,” he admits.

  “I’m sick, but I’m not broken. I’m right here, Travis. I’m here, and I want you.”

  Looking up at me, I get lost in his eyes. My hands cup his gorgeous face, my thumb swiping over his pouty lips, which are too good to be true.

  Not wanting to waste another second, I bend and kiss him, my tongue sliding across his lips before he lets me in with a deep groan. He kisses me back, pulling me flush against his hard body. I can hardly remember the last time he kissed me like this, with so much passion and heat.

  He breaks our kiss long enough to rid me of my shirt. Pushing on my shoulders until I’m lying on my back, he kisses down my body, his tongue dipping into my belly button. His fingers tug on my shorts, pulling them down my legs before he spreads me wide.

  “So fucking perfect, Josie,” he says before diving between my legs. He devours every part of me, bringing me to the precipice of pleasure, and when I’m about to fall over the edge, he stops. I tense and look down at him, only to see him looking up at me, his face glistening with me all over him and that sexy little grin that’s only for me.

  “Travis!” I yell at him, making him chuckle before he slides a finger inside me. My eyes flutter closed, and I fall back on the bed again. He works me up once more this time letting me plummet over the edge of pleasure.

  Wiping his face on the inside of his elbow, he crawls up my body until he’s straddling me. Ohmyfreakinggosh is he perfect and sinfully beautiful. “I love you. More than I thought I could love anything or anyone else in this world.”

  “I know.” I smile. “I love you too.”

  And with that, he pushes inside of me, making us both moan. He makes love to me, all the while telling me how much he loves me. I lock each word away in my heart as I burn every movement and feeling with him into my soul.

  After we clean up and slide under the covers, he holds me close. I lay my head on his chest as Friends plays quietly in the background.

  “I want you to be happy,” I tell him.

  “You make me happy,” he says, kissing the crown of my head.

  “No, I mean I want you to be happy after.”

  I feel him tense under me. “I’m not doing this with you. Not now, not ever, and especially not after…” He trails off, and I know he’s getting mad and emotional.

  Taking in a stuttered breath, I move to look at him, tears filling my eyes. “We need to.”

  “No, we don’t.” He shifts to move, but I stop him.

  “Please let me just say what I want and then hold me the rest of the night, okay?”

  Gritting his jaw, he nods. I press a chaste kiss to his lips and then sit up to look at him again.

  “You’re young,” I start.

  “Josie…” he warns.

  I put up a hand to stop him. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but it’s the truth, Travis. You aren’t even thirty yet!” I yell, throwing my hands up in frustration. “I know you. I know y
ou won’t go looking for love or someone to take my place, and I’m not saying you need to. What I’m saying is don’t be closed off to the idea of it when it does happen.” I take in a deep breath. “All I ask is that whoever you choose to love next, make sure they are worthy of you. That they love you wholly. That they love Penny the same. And that you love them back just as much.”

  “I fucking hate this shit,” he says harshly, and then I see a tear fall down his face.

  “Promise me you’ll be happy.”

  “I can’t promise you that. Not right now. But I’ll try. For you. For you, I’ll try.”

  Leaning forward, I kiss him again before I snuggle into his side again.

  “Hey, the cake lady… what was her name? Tilly? She was pretty,” I tease.

  He groans and tickles my side, flipping us so he’s on top of me. “She was pretty,” he says, biting into his lip. “But I only have room for one pretty girl at the moment,” he says as he drops his mouth to mine. “And you’re it. Always,” he whispers.

  “But after always…” I push with a smile as he nips at my lips.

  “If I say maybe, will you drop it and let me have you again?”

  “Yes.”

  “Fine. Maybe I’ll find love after our always,” he says.

  As hard as that was for him to say, I know he’ll try. For me.

  Because he loves me.

  Sneak Peek of DANCE IN THE BALANCE

  Max

  “I’m going to visit my family… No, it’s not to party… I’ll be back in a few days… I won’t be late… Yeah, text or call if you need something… Okay, bye.”

  I pinch the bridge of my nose as I try to calm myself down after my phone call with her, letting her know I was heading to Vegas to visit my family there.

  My cousin Harry was finally back in a good place now that he had a great girl by his side. I went down for our baby cousin’s birthday party a little while back and got to meet Jade. After that, Harry and I made plans for me to come down again for another visit, but this time with less family and more fun.

  Did I lie to Sonora? Not completely. But I also wasn’t totally honest in why I was headed there either. Was I planning on partying the whole weekend? No. But were we going to go out? Yes. Definitely yes.

  I needed a break from here. Podunk town Illinois. This was never the place I wanted to be forever, yet here I was. Stuck. I love my family, and my parents are awesome, but this was never my plan, never where I thought I’d stay.

  Everything changed the day Sonora told me she was pregnant. And to say it was a surprise was the understatement of the fucking century. No bi man is prepared for his best friend to tell him she’s pregnant. With his kid. Our senior year of high school took a big turn, and things got weird real fast.

  Sonora was my best friend and my girlfriend/“beard” all throughout high school. Helping me keep the vultures off my ass in the locker room. It was much more pleasant to be given shit by my football team about being pussy-whipped than it would have been to be the target of their bullying.

  The only thing she ever asked of me was to be her first. And since I kept it pretty impossible for her to have a real boyfriend or date, I couldn’t deny her.

  We snuck some of her dad’s liquor and got tipsy before we had what was surely the most awkward of sexual encounters ever. Neither of us knew what we were doing, and I’m not even sure either of us actually enjoyed it, but we did the deed.

  Once.

  And that was all it took.

  One broken condom later and Sonora and I had a baby girl two weeks before graduation.

  Marley is my whole entire world and the reason I stay. I would do anything for that little girl. Anything.

  Walking away was never an option for me. I was the baby left at the hospital who wasn’t wanted. I will never have my daughter feeling anything but loved. Always.

  So, here I am, living a life that I didn’t really plan on but doing it all for my little girl. I’d live in the woods in winter if it made her happy, and that’s saying a lot because I hate winter.

  Which is why I’m so fucking frustrated for feeling guilty about having one weekend to myself. A weekend that isn’t even mine to have Marley, and yet I still feel bad about it. Last time I went to Vegas, I took her with me. Is it so bad to ask for one weekend away to feel like a normal twenty-one-year-old guy?

  I try to shake my guilt away and begin to pack for my flight, which leaves first thing in the morning. Glancing at my phone, I see a text from Sonora. I open it to find a picture of Marley holding up a picture she drew of her and me holding hands.

  Guilt guts me in two.

  ***

  “Hey, man. How was the flight?” Harry asks when he greets me at his door.

  “Best pretzels I’ve ever had,” I joke. “Thanks for letting me stay here.”

  “Of course. You know you’re welcome anytime.”

  Walking down the hall, I toss my bag on the bed in the guest bedroom before turning to head back toward my cousin.

  “Any plans for the weekend?”

  “We can go out if you want. Jade has a couple of fun friends she could invite. Make it a group thing?” he asks.

  I like the sound of that. A night out to forget about my responsibilities at home sounds amazing. “I’m down.”

  “I’ll text Jade and set it up.”

  While he does that, I pull my phone out to text my mom to let her know I made it to Harry’s okay, because apparently you are never too old to have to check in with your mom.

  I send another one to Sonora to check in with her too and make sure everything is good there. After she assures me it is, I shut off my phone for a few hours.

  “It’s a plan tonight,” Harry says, pulling me from my thoughts.

  I smile back at him, not letting him see the guilt and weight I carry. “Awesome.”

  ***

  Upon arriving at the club, we all order drinks, and less than fifteen minutes later, we’re ordering seconds. Harry was right about Jade’s friends. Sasha is a blast and very much the kind of girl everyone wants as their BFF. But my eyes instantly flew to Sergei, Jade’s dance partner.

  He’s the typical token gay best friend with his flamboyant style and big expressions when he talks. He’s the one everyone gravitates toward. Everything about him is hot and sexy and exactly what I’m attracted to.

  As soon as I see Harry and Jade begin to break away from the pack and Sasha become the object of someone else’s eye, I take advantage of the opportunity to get closer to Sergei.

  We’ve all been dancing for a while, hearts pumping, sweat slicked, and getting drunk. I push Sasha into the guy who’s been eye-fucking her all night with a wink of you’re welcome before turning to put my front to Sergei’s back.

  “Do I even want to know what you had to do to get into these tight pants?” I ask into his ear, ending with a little bite on the lobe.

  He spins around with wide eyes on me, looking like I just arrived from Mars with four heads. “Are you…?” he asks, trailing off with his shoulder pulled back and looking confused.

  “No way. My gaydar cannot be that off,” he answers for himself, putting his hand on his hip.

  Licking my lips and wanting to taste him more, I smile, stepping into his personal space again. No words pass my lips as I press my hips to his, letting him know just how off his gaydar is. Biting the side of my lip to keep from laughing, I watch every thought and emotion play out on his face, and it is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

  He opens his mouth to say something else but quickly closes it when I grab a handful of his tight ass. He stands there stunned, with his arms still hanging slack at his sides. I’m thinking that Sergei being speechless doesn’t happen often, so I take advantage of it, leaning forward to press my lips to his for a quick kiss.

  When I pull back and search his face to try to determine if he’s into this or not, it doesn’t take long for him to lean forward and close the distance between us again.
<
br />   Hands slide up my chest to my shoulders as he kisses me this time. But what I gave in a soft, tentative kiss, he’s giving in full passion. In seconds, we go from wonder and curiosity to devouring each other.

  Pressing against him, my mouth goes to his ear, asking, “Want to get out of here?” He nods immediately. Taking his hand, I pull him behind me toward the exit.

  Flagging down the first taxi I find, we quickly climb in and Sergei gives the driver an address that I hope is his place…where he lives alone. We both take the cab ride to settle down a little bit as we text Harry and Jade about our disappearance from the club.

  Stealing flirty looks back and forth on the drive is enough foreplay to make me ready to strip him down in the back of the dirty cab. My cock is so hard and ready, I know it’s not going to take much for me once I get him behind closed doors.

  I don’t even care that the cab ride just cost me almost the same amount I pay for groceries back home. I’d pay triple that if it got us here faster.

  Exiting the cab, Sergei takes my hand again as he pulls me behind him toward the entrance of his apartment building. When we reach his door, I take him in fully as he unlocks it.

  He’s a little shorter than me and thinner—leaner—but he’s solid muscle from being a dancer. I’d bet money he does yoga and Pilates too. His longer auburn hair is quaffed in such a way that I know he spent a long time perfecting it while making it look sexily messy. His brown eyes are big and expressive in their innocence, with a glint of mischief swimming in them.

  Once inside, I push the door closed with him pressed against it, grinding our hips together. My hands on either side of his head cage him in, making sure he can’t go anywhere. He looks up at me from under his long lashes with a smirk that undoes me.

  I capture his mouth with my own, sucking on his lip, then licking the sting away. My right hand comes down to the front of his throat as our tongues duel for dominance. We’re both hard and rubbing against each other, seeking relief.