“Okay.” I smoothed my gray skirt over my knees. I was wearing another of my new outfits today, though when I’d bought it, I’d thought it would be something pretty to wear when I met new clients, not my wedding dress. Or skirt. My mind wandered back to Naomi. “Will she be upset?”
Mason smiled, this time full and bright. “Not a bit. She loves you, Rilla.”
I nodded. “Did she love Lu, too?”
His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “She did. Everyone loved Lu.”
“Can you tell me about her?”
“Seriously? We’re on our way to get married, and you want to hear about my wife?”
I shrugged, trying not to let it bother me that he’d said “wife,” as though Lu might pop back into town any minute. “Mason, neither of us is pretending this is a love match, right? I’d like to know more about Piper’s mother.”
He nodded. “Okay. Well, Lu was ... she was beautiful. And bright, and funny and so talented. She saw the best in people, and she laughed every single day I knew her. She always said life was too short to take it seriously.” His sigh was deep. “Turned out she was right.”
“Did you ever fight? Or was your marriage perfect, too?”
If Mason heard the archness in my tone, he ignored it. “We fought, but never for long. Mostly over how hard she worked. Lu loved to sing, and she was a really brilliant songwriter. When she started writing, though, she’d ignore everything and everyone else, and it was hard to feel like I was coming in second. She’d go deep into her head for a week or two, and then she’d come out with all these songs ... and begging me to forgive her for being so absent.”
“And you did.”
“Of course. I couldn’t stay mad at her for that. She had so much talent.” His thumbs rubbed the steering wheel. “Lu was amazing.”
I looked out the window at the passing scenery, and I didn’t ask any more questions until we arrived in the city.
Mason parked the truck in a garage a few blocks away from the courthouse. When he came around to open my door, he offered me his hand and helped me down, and then stood in front of me, so that I was trapped between his body and the truck. My heart began to thud at his nearness.
“Rilla, I just want to say, if you’ve changed your mind, I understand. We can just go have lunch and walk around the city, and then drive home. It’s okay.”
I looked up into his eyes, and for a moment, I couldn’t speak. Did he want me to say I’d had a change of heart? Or mind?
“Now that you know you have family in town, maybe you’re thinking you don’t need us anymore. You could easily move in with Boomer, and all the talk would die down. You have options.”
I ran my tongue over my lips without dropping my gaze from Mason’s, and inhaling deep, I reached forward to take his hand between both of mine. It was large and warm, and I wanted nothing more than to hold it to my face. Turn my lips and kiss his palm. I swallowed hard.
“Mason, I haven’t changed my mind. I love Piper, and I love Naomi. And I ...” I wanted to say something about how I felt about him, but I chickened out. After all, I didn’t know how I felt. Not really. A crush, probably. Something that might melt into contented like over the years. “I don’t want any options. I’m ready to get married. But if you’re not sure—”
“No, I am. I just wanted you to feel like you have a choice.”
I ventured a smile. “Maybe we should stop offering each other a way out and just go do it.”
Mason grinned and lifted his hand to my face, just I’d wished he would. He brushed the backs of his fingers over my cheek and then stepped back and took my hand. “Okay. I should probably tell you that I called a friend and asked him to stand as witness for us today. Do you know Alex Nelson?”
“I’ve met him a few times at the stand, with Meghan and Ali.”
“Good.” Mason nodded. “He happened to be in town today for work, so I asked if he’d take a few minutes and stand up for us. I thought we’d go out to lunch afterward, if that’s okay.”
“Sure. That sounds good.”
“All right then.” Mason squeezed my hand. “Let’s go get married.”
When I’d pictured my wedding while I was growing up, I’d always imagined walking down the aisle of our church on my father’s arm, wearing a dress that was glaringly white to assure the world of my intact virginity, while music rolled off the piano in the front of the sanctuary. Gram would be standing in the front pew, dabbing at her eyes. And the man who waited at the end of the aisle would be the embodiment of my every wish and dream.
Instead, I stood up in a small book-lined room, in front of a cluttered desk, while a harried judge in a rumpled suit spoke words that sounded more like a business deal than a sacred covenant. The man who stood beside me, holding my suddenly-clammy hand in his, was nearly a stranger to me. And our witness, while he said nothing, was clearly concerned and skeptical about the whole situation.
It was over within minutes. When the judge pronounced us man and wife, Mason touched his lips to mine briefly. The judge wished us the best of luck, and I followed Mason and Alex out of his office, into a corridor teeming with people.
“Well. Congratulations.” Alex shook Mason’s hand and bent to kiss my cheek. I thought distractedly that he smelled better than any man I’d ever known.
“You’ll have lunch with us, Alex, right? Where’s the best place to go?”
Alex nodded. “I know a place.” He glanced at me, his eyebrows drawn together and spoke hesitantly. “I’d like to—would it be all right—well, I thought maybe Cal could join us. If you two don’t mind.”
Mason’s eyes got big. “Wait a minute. You’re going to let us meet him? The elusive new boyfriend?”
Alex grinned. “Yeah, I guess I am. Meghan and Ali are both going to howl at me about it, and probably yell at you, too, so get ready. But I think it’s time.” He let his gaze skim over me. “Uh, not to be rude, Rilla, but are you going to be okay with this?”
I forced a smile on my face. “Well, of course. The more, the merrier. It’ll be fun.”
A hint of relief glimmered in Alex’s eyes. “Great. I’ll text him to meet us. There’s this fabulous little bistro just around the corner. It’s actually in a basement, but the food is to die for. C’mon.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever eat again.” I leaned back against the car seat, closing my eyes. “That was delicious.”
Mason laughed. “Trust Alex to find the best restaurant in Savannah. That was one of the most incredible meals I’ve ever eaten.” He slid a glance at me as he backed out of the parking space. “What did you think of Cal?”
I considered. I could pretend that there hadn’t been anything at all startling about eating lunch with two men whom I knew were in love with each other. I could give Mason a standard trite answer. Or I could be honest. Since I’d just made vows promising the rest of my life to him, I decided honesty was the way to go.
“He seemed really nice. I ... you can imagine what I was taught growing up in the church. When I met Alex, I had no idea he was gay. But I heard Meghan teasing him about his new boyfriend, and I figured it out.”
“Did it bother you?” Mason’s voice was carefully neutral.
“Actually, no. Alex is so friendly and just who he is. I like him.” I drew in a long breath. “But I was nervous when he asked about Cal. I thought it would be weird. But it honestly wasn’t. I had a good time.”
Mason’s shoulders relaxed, and he smiled. “I didn’t know Alex very well growing up. He was a lot younger than me. But he hangs out at The Road Block when he comes through town, and I’ve enjoyed talking with him. He’s become a friend. It would’ve been harder if you were uncomfortable with who he is.”
I shrugged. “I think I’m beginning to learn that a lot of what I was taught growing up wasn’t necessarily what I believe now. I don’t want to throw away my beliefs, but I need to make sure they’re really mine and not what I’ve been told to accept. Does that make sense?”<
br />
“It does.” Mason was quiet for a beat. “Do you think you’ll want to go back to church at some point?”
I nodded. “Probably, but I doubt it’ll be Burton Community. There’re plenty of other churches in town.” I glanced at him. “Do you go to church?”
His jaw tightened. “Not since Lu died. God and I ... well, let’s just say I don’t see eye-to-eye with him. I have to question the existence of a deity that would take a mother away from her baby.”
There was so much I wanted to say to Mason in response, but it wasn’t the time. Instead, I tackled another question that had been worrying me.
“Mason, can I ask you something?”
He smiled, though I noticed it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Sure.”
“I probably should’ve talked to you about this before ... well, before. But we’re married now. What is that going to mean? Between us.” My face was hot, and I was positive it was flaming red.
“I’m not sure I get what you’re asking.” He frowned.
“I mean ... do you ... want me to stay in the guest room?”
Understanding dawned on his face. “Oh. I, uh ...” He kept his eyes on the road ahead of us. “I figured we’d see what happened. I ...” He exhaled. “There’re a few things you should know about me, Rilla. You’re right, we should’ve discussed this before.” He rubbed his forehead, and dread pierced me. He was going to say he didn’t find me attractive. He didn’t want me that way.
“I’m not the kind of guy who cheats on his wife. Or his girlfriend. We’re married now, and even though it happened fast and maybe not for the reasons most people do it, I don’t take it any less seriously. I’m just saying, I don’t intend to sleep with anyone else.”
“Good.” I was a little more emphatic than I intended, and Mason grinned.
“But I know you haven’t had any kind of experience. I don’t expect go home and jump into bed with you. I think we should take things slowly. We’ll see what happens.” He reached across and took my hand. “I’m not going to rush you into anything. You can trust me.”
“Okay.” I understood that Mason was trying to be considerate of me. Part of me wanted him not to be. Part of me wanted him to be so eager to get home for our wedding night that he’d break every speed limit. I couldn’t make myself say that, though I had to ask one more question. “But you don’t find me repulsive, right?”
“God, no.” His answer was fast and fervent, and I couldn’t help smiling.
“Oh, good. That’s a relief.”
He traced circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. “Rilla, I’m going to be honest with you. I told you I’m no saint. I never would’ve suggested we get married if I wasn’t attracted to you. You’re beautiful. I should’ve said that to you today, all day, probably, but I’m out of practice. And I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. But you are beautiful. Please don’t think that because I’m willing to take things slow, I don’t want you. Because I do.”
A peculiar heat pooled low in my abdomen, and I could feel the pounding of my blood in different parts of my body. This must be desire, I decided. It made me want to unbuckle my seatbelt, crawl over to Mason and climb into his lap. What I’d do once I got there, I wasn’t quite sure, but I thought it might involve kissing. And touching.
I didn’t do any of that. Instead, I contented myself with holding his hand a little tighter, enjoying the feel of his palm pressed against mine and his fingers threaded through my own. Staring out the window at the passing scenery, for the first time in quite a while, I let myself daydream about the future.
AS IT TURNED OUT, Piper came down with a cold the day after Rilla and I got married, so Rilla stayed home with her while I went to the hospital to visit Mom. When I told my mother what we’d done, she only nodded.
“I knew you were going to marry that girl, Mason. It was just a matter of time.”
I took her hand, so thin and frail in my bigger grip. “Are you upset? Mad at me?”
She shook her head. “Not a bit. Just ...” She hesitated. “Remember Rilla’s young, son. She looks at you with stars in her eyes, even though she might not realize it yet. Don’t break her heart.”
“As if I would.” I frowned. “How can you even think that?”
Mom sighed and closed her eyes. “Because you’re stubborn and you’re a man. You don’t see what’s in front of you sometimes. You’ve managed to convince yourself that you married Rilla out of some sense of obligation or duty. Riding in on your white horse to save the day. But you may be surprised to learn one day that in the end, it’s going to be Rilla who saves you.”
I thought about her words the next day as I worked at The Road Block. It was Saturday night, and we were busier than normal. People thronged the bar, shouting out drink orders faster than Rocky and I could fill them. The band was hot, the dance floor was filled, and we were turning people away before nine. Still, I stole a minute before the live music began to step outside in the back and call home.
I’d gotten Rilla a cell phone as I’d promised, but she was still getting the hang of texting. At least, that was what I told myself to justify calling her instead of sending a text. I wasn’t ready to admit to myself that I really just needed to hear her voice.
She answered after the second ring. Her “hello” was quiet, which told me Piper was already asleep.
“Hey, darlin.’ It’s me. Just checking in on you.”
She laughed, soft and low, and an arrow of need rocketed down my spine to land between my legs. I pictured her curled up on her bed, reading, her blonde hair messy as it lay over the pillow.
“We’re good. I gave Piper the new cold meds the doctor recommended, and she seems to be sleeping better. No cough, so that’s a relief.”
I smiled. This was Rilla’s first real experience with a sick kid, and she’d worried over this mild cold like any new mama. “Great.”
“And I called over to the hospital and spoke to your mom. She says she’s feeling some better after the transfusion. I told her you’d be by to visit tomorrow, and Piper and I’ll go over once she’s not contagious anymore.”
“Uh huh.” I shifted the phone to the other ear and leaned back against the building. The wall fairly vibrated with the noise of all the people inside. “I didn’t call to take report, Rilla. I wanted to hear your voice. I miss you.”
There was silence on the other end of the phone for a minute. “You do? You just saw me this afternoon, Mason.” She sounded cautious and a little confused.
“Yeah, I know, but it’s crazy here at the bar. And I’m looking out at all these people dancing and having fun ... and I miss my wife. Is that so wrong?”
She was quiet for another beat. “No.” She spoke so softly that I pressed my ear closer to pick up her words. “That’s the first time you’ve called me your wife.”
“Then I’ve been an idiot.” There was a shout from inside, and I realized the band must be ready to go on. “Listen, Rilla, I need to go introduce the band. I’ll be late tonight, so I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”
“Okay. Good night, Mason.” She sounded wistful, and I wanted to keep talking to her. Say more. But there wasn’t any time right now. I ended the call and slid my phone back into my pocket before I went inside to do my job.
As I’d predicted, I didn’t leave the club until nearly three. The house was silent when I went inside and climbed the steps. I opened the door to Piper’s room and glanced inside, smiling when I saw her spread out over the bed, arms wide and head thrown back as she snored. Drawing the door closed softly, I headed down the hall to my own room, pausing as I passed Rilla’s door.
Nothing had really changed in the few days since we’d become husband and wife. Rilla still slept in the guest room, and between Piper’s cold and my work, we hadn’t had more than a few passing minutes here and there.
I eased open her door and leaned inside, hoping that maybe she was still awake. No light burned in her room, though; I could just barely make ou
t her curled form under the covers. Her hair shone, and I had to fight the urge to go inside, pull her against me and run my fingers through the tangles.
I closed the door and went into my own lonely room. And although I was tired to the point of exhaustion, I took a cold shower before I slid between the sheets.
I woke the next morning as I did most Sundays: with Piper pulling at my eyes and whispering into my ear. I groaned as I rolled over, grabbing blindly at her small body to make sure I didn’t knock her off the bed.
“Wake up, Daddy! Rilla and I made waffles. They’re gonna get cold.”
I pushed to sit up a little, blinking as I tried to clear my head. “Okay, princess. Give me a minute here.”
“Piper Susannah.” A voice in the doorway startled me into alertness. “Didn’t I tell you not to bother Daddy yet? He worked late last night. He needs his sleep.”
I laughed. “You might as well give that up, darlin.’ Piper just can’t help herself when it comes to my sleep.”
“Hmmm.” Rilla leaned against the door jam and crossed her arms. I narrowed my eyes a little more, taking her in.
“Well, lookit who’s wearing shorts today. Lookin’ good, honey.” And I wasn’t lying. Who knew such a petite little thing could have such long legs? I had a sudden flash of those legs wrapped my body, and I had to adjust the sheet to cover my obvious interest.
Rilla flushed. “Thanks. They don’t look too short, do they?” She glanced down at her own legs as though surprised they were there.
“Not a bit. Don’t worry, sweetness, those aren’t Daisy Dukes.” I winked at her, and Rilla laughed.
“Daddy, what’re Daisy Dukes?” Piper held my face in her hands to get my attention.
“Nothing you’ll ever wear, baby girl.” Rilla pushed away from the door and came into my room to scoop my daughter from the bed. “C’mon. Let’s go downstairs and set the table for breakfast so Daddy can get dressed.”
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