Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 6

by Fujino Omori

  “Yes. A small village in the middle of the mountains…So, there is still so much I don’t know.”

  Lord Hermes’s expression softened the moment I admitted to how little I understood about the city. I have to admit, this is pretty embarrassing.

  He looks at me, orange eyes twinkling under long, thin eyelids.

  “Well then, do you know of a god named Zeus?”

  Then he asks me about a god I’ve never heard of.

  “Lord Zeus…No, I don’t. Is he well known?”

  “Oh yes. He used to be the leader of the most powerful Familia in history, starting from the day we first arrived in Orario.”

  That was unexpected. My eyes wide open, I look back at Lord Hermes, giving him my full attention.

  “A-aren’t Loki Familia and Freya Familia the most powerful…”

  “Now they are, sure. But it wasn’t that way until very recently. Fifteen years ago, to be exact.”

  Fifteen years ago…My lips go to repeat his words, but no sound comes out of my mouth.

  Lord Hermes starts talking again.

  “Until Loki and Lady Freya claimed control themselves, Zeus and a goddess named Hera were the top dogs in Orario. The current arrangement came to be when Loki and Lady Freya took them down and banished them from the city.”

  “…Lord Zeus’s and Lady Hera’s Familias were defeated in battle?”

  “That’s true, but not in the way that you’re thinking. You see, the shift in power all started with a failed quest.”

  It sounds like he’s about to get to the juicy part of the story.

  Lord Hermes holds out his hand and sticks up three fingers.

  “This world has burdened Orario with the Three Great Quests.”

  My eyes focus on the three fingertips in front of me.

  “During the era that you children call Ancient Times, three monsters with incredible power escaped from the Dungeon—the quests are to eliminate them.”

  “Eh…So then, that means…”

  “That’s right, they’re alive. These ancient monsters that burst out of the Dungeon are still out there.”

  I gulp down the air in my throat.

  “Ancient Times”—That means these monsters have survived for more than one thousand years. This is incredible.

  Judging by the way Lord Hermes is talking about them…I don’t think they’re related to the monsters Nahza told me about, the ones that escaped the Dungeon and reproduced on their own on the surface.

  “This should be obvious, but the Dungeon provides adventurers in the Labyrinth City with the perfect training ground. As citizens of Orario, they have the obligation to the rest of the world to dispose of the monsters that emerged from beneath their feet.”

  No other city can rival Orario in terms of pure power and influence. This is directly due to the Dungeon, a place where monsters continuously spawn and provide adventurers with nearly limitless opportunities to level up. Aboveground, monsters and humans are much weaker, meaning that adventurers have a very difficult time acquiring excelia—and chances to level up are hard to come by. I’ve heard that the strongest adventurers in other cities are only Level 2, rarely making it to Level 3.

  That’s the real reason that Orario is considered to be the center of the world, this source of absolute power.

  “Fifteen years ago…Zeus and Hera were at the height of their power. Their Familias were home to the most powerful adventurers in history, and they set out to challenge the three ancient beasts. First, the Terrestrial Tyrant, Behemoth, then the Ruler of the Sea, Leviathan, were defeated.—And last…”

  Lord Hermes puts down two fingers in turn. He raises the last one up to his face.

  “The last one, the Black Dragon, was too strong and wiped them out.”

  I finally remember to blink.

  “The B-Black Dragon…It can’t be—is that the One-eyed Dragon?”

  “That’s right. You know about it?”

  Oh, I know. I know.

  I met that living embodiment of death and despair in the pages of one of my books when I was a kid.

  The epic tales of heroes from the Ancient Times immortalized in the pages of the labyrinth’s scripture, the Dungeon Oratoria. It’s a cruel and merciless monster that appears in the book’s final chapter.

  The bravest of the heroes sacrificed his own life to cut out one of the beast’s eyes, forcing the Dragon King to retreat into the clouds.

  Words have left me, but with Lord Hermes’s story replaying in my mind I manage to grunt an affirmation.

  The living scourge, living legend, the living end.

  This creature that appears in many heroic tales and legends of old is not just a work of fiction, but alive…I’m absolutely stunned.

  “Both Zeus’s and Hera’s Familias lost their strongest followers in the battle with the Black Dragon, leaving them weak and vulnerable. And now we’re back to where we began. Loki and Lady Freya teamed up to force the two high-ranking scrappers—no, their biggest rival deities—out of the city.”

  Lord Hermes smiles again and shrugs his shoulders.

  “It was just a sign of the changing times. Even the Guild, which had supported them through thick and thin for generations, didn’t protect a feeble Zeus and Hera.”

  Lord Hermes goes on to say that it might be better to say the Guild couldn’t protect them.

  “That’s the fall of Zeus and how the Orario you know came to be.”

  “…”

  “The peoples of the world still yearn for the completion of the last of the Three Grand Quests, the slaying of the Black Dragon. As a citizen of Orario, you will have a part to play.”

  Lord Hermes sums up his point while grinning at me as I stand frozen in place.

  He just explained how the once powerful and famous Zeus Familia and the fate of the city of Orario were intertwined.

  Sure, I grew up in a little village in the middle of nowhere. But it’s painful to realize just how clueless I was. This world seems peaceful at first glance, but there’s a disaster waiting to happen hidden in the shadows.

  Where is the Black Dragon now, what’s it doing, there’s so much I want to know…But as one young and inexperienced adventurer, I don’t have the right to know those details. There’s not much reason to.

  But at the very least, the ones closest to that Dragon in power are—the warriors belonging to the two most powerful Familias.

  “…Um, Lord Hermes?”

  “What is it?”

  “Lord Zeus and Lady Hera…Can I ask what happened to them?”

  I have a feeling he won’t tell me anything more about the Three Grand Quests, so I ask him about the banished gods instead.

  He looks at me for a very long moment before flashing a grin and closing his eyes.

  “That’s a tough one. The idea that they would return to Tenkai sounds pretty convincing, but no one really knows what happened to that good-natured old man. He might be out scouring the globe for new heroes, or he could be hiding in some shack, wallowing in despair. Knowing him, he could be traveling to the ends of the earth just to see what’s there…That’s more likely.”

  “I-I see.”

  “Are you curious?”

  I look away and say that I’m not really interested. For some reason, I can’t give him a direct answer.

  Hearing that those two deities were chased out of the city makes me think.

  If for some reason I was drawn into a battle for power and my side lost…Lady Hestia and I…Would we be banished, too?

  I can’t ignore this and assume that it’s someone else’s problem. It’s a little scary.

  “Well, our chat went a little long. Sorry to take so much of your time, Bell.”

  “N-no, it’s all right. Thank you for talking with me.”

  Our conversation over, Hermes gives me one of his charming smiles. Suddenly the atmosphere on the balcony changes completely.

  Lord Hermes cocks an eyebrow after I thank him.

  “S
ay, Bell, are you not going to dance?”

  “Eh?”

  “Take a look inside. See?”

  I follow his gaze and, sure enough, the center of the ballroom is sparkling, alive with movement.

  “That grandfather of yours told you, didn’t he? That Orario has enough gorgeous women and beautiful ladies to turn the world green with envy? This is your chance to enjoy it.”

  “Eh? Um…what?”

  Oh no, it’s that grin. I’ve seen Lord Hermes make that face before.

  He puts his arm around me, guiding me to the window. The corners of his mouth are so far back, I’m surprised his teeth haven’t hit his ear.

  “L-Lord Hermes, I don’t know how to dance, so don’t worry about me. I’m happy enough just being here…!”

  “What happened to your spine, Bell? So now, what’s your type?”

  He tightens his arm around me, grinning hugely.

  Completely unable to move, I have no choice but to look at the women scattered around the ballroom. There’s an absolutely gorgeous goddess dancing in the middle of the floor, her dress fluttering around her. A little ways back, an elf is being invited to dance at this very moment. A sleek catgirl is enjoying the cuisine at a table off to the side. More and more young women come into focus as I look from corner to corner and back again.

  I fight back the burgeoning heat coming from under my eyes. The only thing I know for sure is I can’t look at her, anywhere else is okay but not at her…But that plan backfires.

  My eyes manage to find a streak of blond hair amid the lights and decorations of the ballroom—I find Aiz right away.

  And, of course, Lord Hermes notices.

  “Oh-ho! The Kenki, eh? You don’t mess around.”

  “No! I just, um…!”

  The words stop coming out as my face starts to boil, turning beet red.

  Lord Hermes looks at me in silence. Then without warning, his eyes light up, accompanied by another toothy grin.

  “—So that’s how it is…I see, I see.”

  “Uh, uhhh…”

  The deity nods and looks at me with that cheek-splitting smile plastered on his face.

  He knows. He just figured everything out; I can see it in his expression. My whole body feels like it’s on fire.

  He saw right through me like it was nothing. I look away, unable to maintain eye contact, and throw my head back, resigning myself to misery.

  At the same time, “All right, that settles it!!” Lord Hermes sounds much more excited than he did a minute ago. “I’m no God of Love, but that doesn’t mean I can’t make sparks fly!”

  “Why are you talking so loud?!”

  But Lord Hermes doesn’t respond to me. Instead, he grabs my hand and pulls me back into the ballroom. He takes long powerful strides straight toward Aiz.

  “Wh-what are you doing?!”

  “Taking you to your dancing partner, obviously! The Kenki, who else?”

  My heart jumps into my throat.

  “I can’t, it’s impossible! There’s no way!”

  I repeat myself over and over, getting louder and louder as Lord Hermes pulls me through the ballroom. But he’s not listening.

  Like hell I can ask her. Even if I did, there’s no way she’d accept. But above all else, our goddesses would never allow it to happen!

  Lord Hermes turns around and gives me one of his classic “manly” smiles. Perhaps one of my objections finally made it through?

  “Leave it to me. I’ve got a plan.”

  That said, he takes off at a brisk pace with me in tow.

  Perfectly crafted melodies from the musicians fill the dimly lit ballroom. The magic-stone lamps on the chandeliers have been turned down, leaving the dance floor illuminated by moonlight.

  Lady Hestia and Lady Loki are still arguing in the back corner. Aiz is standing just behind them. I bet that anyone who extended a hand to her was immediately driven away by her overprotective goddess under threat of the wrath of Loki Familia. I doubt anyone has even said hello.

  She’s just standing there, watching the goddesses go at it and wondering if she should step in.

  Lord Hermes finally releases my hand and walks over there.

  Finding a brief opening in Lady Loki and Lady Hestia’s argument, he puts on the air of a gentleman and bows in front of her.

  “Oh my, how exquisite you are on this night, Kenki! May I, Hermes, have this dance?”

  I see him thrust his hand out to her. My mind is racing on so many levels.

  Aiz’s face goes pale as she stands, motionless, in front of the god. Unsure of what to do, she tries to catch the eye of her goddess, Lady Loki. Unfortunately for her, the argument between the two goddesses is still in full swing.

  A few long heartbeats later, Aiz looks back to Lord Hermes and opens her mouth. She’s probably going to refuse, but before she can…

  “Oh, goodness no! How could I have forgotten something this important?! I just remembered!”

  Lord Hermes turns away, his hand over his face. It feels like I’m watching an actor on the stage more than anything else.

  I blink several times, my eyes nothing but little dots on my face. Aiz isn’t moving. I don’t think she’s even breathing.

  Clap! Lord Hermes brings his hands together as if he’s just gotten an idea. He looks back over his shoulder before spinning to face me.

  “It is an embarrassment as a god, and as a man, to not be able to honor my own invitation—Bell, take my place.”

  My jaw drops to the floor. Aiz looks light-headed.

  Both of our eyes are as wide as they can go.

  “Huh, what’s going on…?”

  “You understand, Bell? My reputation is at stake, so don’t let me down.”

  Every muscle in my body suddenly tenses. Then, Lord Hermes winks at me.

  The whimsical god has just forced me to play a part in some kind of scheme—did Lord Hermes just give me an opportunity to ask Aiz to dance? He’s willing to take the heat from the goddesses?

  Then a wink makes me realize what had just transpired. Lord Hermes was with us on the eighteenth floor as well as in the town of Rivira. He seems to believe that since Aiz and I know each other, she won’t refuse my invitation.

  Lord Hermes grins and walks away. Aiz and I are alone, staring at each other.

  “…”

  “…”

  The distance between us unchanging, we stand in one spot, staring into each other’s eyes.

  My body’s getting warmer and warmer. I make up my mind.

  I can’t waste the chance that Lord Hermes gave me. But more than that, I can’t walk away from the confused girl in front of me. The shame of abandoning her would be unbearable.

  But…how do I ask her to dance?

  A storm is raging in the back of my mind, sweat pouring like rain down my face and hands—that’s when Lord Miach appears at my side.

  I look back toward Aiz and see that Nahza is standing beside her.

  The two of us watch with wide eyes as Lord Miach and Nahza step toward each other.

  “My lady, would you care to join me for a dance?”

  Lord Miach extends his hand to Nahza and gives a respectful bow.

  She smiles and puts her hand in his.

  “Gladly.”

  The two walk, hand in hand, to the dance floor.

  Aiz and I watch as an example unfolds right in front of us. Lord Miach and Nahza grin back at us, thoroughly enjoying the moment.

  Ba-dum. My heartbeat fills my chest.

  The two of them went out of their way to help me; I can’t just stand here anymore.

  Aiz is looking right at me when I take my first step.

  Tap, tap. The sound of my footsteps cuts through the other sounds in the room. I gradually approach her, the distance between us disappearing.

  I come to a stop an arm’s length away and meet her gaze.

  “Can I…May I—have this dance?”

  I quickly look down to hide my bright red
face.

  I extend my left hand, my heart rate increasing every second.

  I sneak a peek at her face…Aiz, clad in that beautiful dress, is smiling at me.

  “…Gladly.”

  I feel the weight of her hand in mine. Summoning up every ounce of courage in my body, I close my fingers around hers.

  The two of us turn toward the dance floor, holding hands.

  I hope she can’t feel my pulse through my fingers; my heart’s beating like crazy. Doing my best to keep my breath steady, the two of us find an open spot in a ring of dancing couples. I slowly loop my right arm behind her and put my hand on her back as she lightly places her left on my shoulder.

  Now all I need to do is listen to the beat, watch the others, and try to dance.

  “Uwah—”

  “Nnn—”

  We’re not in sync at all.

  I stumble; she trips. We’re fighting just to keep our balance. Aiz is first and foremost a knight, so dancing might not be her thing. But then again, I’m a man and yet I’m failing to lead. This is pitiful.

  Thump. Aiz’s head hits me square in the chest. If I don’t do something soon, this’ll be a complete disaster. But what? A wave of cold sweat escapes from every pore in my skin.

  “Calm your mind. Do not try to lead by pulling her with your arms.”

  “!”

  Another couple comes close to us just as Aiz and I are trying to find our feet. It’s Lord Takemikazuchi and Mikoto.

  Mikoto is blushing again, but Lord Takemikazuchi’s precise movements guide her effortlessly around the floor. They step toward us, and Lord Takemikazuchi and I are back to back as he whispers more advice into my ear.

  “Relax your shoulders. Take your eyes off your feet and look ahead.”

  “S-Sir Bell. The battle is not lost as long as you don’t step on your own feet.”

  Lord Takemikazuchi guides Mikoto right past me. A new bead of sweat rolls down my cheek as I desperately try to decode their instructions.

  Aiz is listening, too. Our feet start to line up.

  “You’re adventurers—look at each other. Discern each other’s movements with your feet and communicate with your eyes. No techniques are necessary, only advance and retreat.”

  Lord Takemikazuchi’s words echo over and over in my mind. Just for a moment, it feels like I’m back on the city wall, training with Aiz.