A KISS FOR A KISS

by Hunting, Helena

  “I know. You should go home and get some rest, too. You must be exhausted. And the team has practice in the afternoon.”

  “Alex will handle all of that. I’m not going home until you do.” I lace our fingers together and bow my head, kissing the back of her hand.

  “That chair is a terrible place to sleep.”

  “They’ll bring me a cot if I ask.” I brush a few stray hairs from her forehead. She looks spent, which makes sense since she’s had one hell of a day. “Listen, I know we’re still navigating this relationship and where it’s going, but I don’t love the idea of you being on your own in that house when you’re supposed to be on bed rest and taking it easy. How would you feel about coming to stay with me? After the baby is born, we can reassess and see where things are?” I don’t want to push her into a decision, but the thought of something like this happening and her being alone is untenable.

  She’s silent for a few seconds, maybe mulling it over. “I think that’s probably a smart plan.”

  I exhale a relieved breath. “I know you don’t need me to take care of you, but being able to ensure you’re safe and okay on a daily basis is going to keep my blood pressure down.”

  She chuckles and brings our clasped hands to her belly, settling them there. “I definitely don’t want you in the same boat as me.” Her expression grows serious. “I was scared today, Jake.”

  “Me, too.” I trace the contour of her face, the contact as much to console her as it is to ground me. “Let’s try to keep your stress levels to a minimum for the next sixteen weeks, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “It’s you and me, Hanna. We’re in this together.” I seal that promise with a kiss.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  Selfless Love

  Hanna

  I’M RELEASED FROM the hospital the next morning, early enough that no one has had a chance to visit. Jake drives me back to my place and makes me lie down while he packs my essentials. It seems ridiculous to have this house sitting empty when I’ve only been living here for a handful of weeks, but I agree that living on my own is not in either of our best interests.

  While I may have felt the need for independence when I first moved to Seattle, in the weeks since I’ve been here, I’ve realized that it had less to do with moving in with Jake and more to do with my fear of things changing too quickly, or the pressure it would put on our relationship. I didn’t want to force closeness before I felt ready. Or become an inconvenience in his life.

  Jake has proven to be patient and understanding, letting me lead, which probably doesn’t come naturally to him. Having support doesn’t mean I have to lose my independence. It just means I have people I can count on.

  When he reaches the bottom drawer of my dresser, I sit up. “Oh, uh, you can leave that one for now.”

  “Are you sure? This looks like it’s got all your comfy sweats in it?” He lifts the pair of grey sweatpants I stole from him when I first moved to Seattle and his eyebrows pop. “Oh, hey now.” He gives me a sidelong glance. “Looks like I found your pleasure chest.”

  I feel my cheeks heating, but I shrug nonchalantly. “I’m a woman with needs.”

  “I’m familiar with those needs.” His gaze moves over me in a hot sweep that I feel all the way from my toes to the top of my head.

  “You can close that drawer and go about your business, Jake.” I don’t need to be thinking about the contents of that drawer and all the fun we could have.

  “You sure you don’t want me to pack any of this for you? Just in case your needs need taking care of by someone other than me?” He rubs his bottom lip.

  I make a circle motion with my finger. “You need to stop this.”

  “Stop what? I’m trying to be proactive here, Hanna. And packing your pleasure chest seems like a smart thing to do.”

  “I need to ask my doctor about what’s reasonable in that department.”

  Jake’s brows pull together. “It’s not like you’re going to go without an orgasm for the next four months.”

  “It raises my heart rate, which raises my blood pressure.”

  He props a hip against my dresser and crosses his arms. “I can make sure they’re more like a canoe ride on the lake instead of a rocket launch so we don’t put you in the danger zone. But we can call your doctor and find out what the limitations are so we know what can and can’t happen.” He slides his phone out of his pocket.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Calling your doctor.”

  “Right now?”

  “Yeah, Hanna, right now. No point in waiting until your next appointment if we can find out immediately.” He lifts a finger. “Hi, Jake Masterson here. I’m Hanna Kingston’s partner. I was hoping I’d be able to ask Dr. Deloris a couple of questions regarding Hanna’s bed rest, so I know what is and isn’t okay for her and the baby. Yup, I can definitely wait.”

  “I can’t believe you! Give me the phone.” I hold my hand out.

  “Only if you put it on speaker so I can hear the answers.”

  I roll my eyes. “Fine. Give it.”

  He passes me the phone after he puts it on speaker.

  Three minutes and a red face later, I’m given the go-ahead to have sex. Just not the swinging from the rafters kind. And I should try to keep my heart rate under one-twenty.

  Jake finishes packing up the drawer with all my fun items—they get their own bag—and we drive back to his place.

  He sets me up in the living room on the couch. Then he unpacks all my clothes and puts them away for me. I’m pretty sure I’m allowed to put clothes away, but he’s determined I relax as much as possible.

  “I don’t expect you to do nothing for the next four months, but I think you need to be very gentle with yourself for the next few days at the very least.” Jake takes a seat beside me on the couch.

  “I can do that.”

  “King and Queenie were asking if they could stop by. Is that okay with you?”

  “Of course.” I’m sure I scared the crap out of Queenie last night. I know the whole thing scared me.

  He nods once and his fingers drum on the back of the couch.

  I tip my head to the side. “What’s up? You look like you want to say something.”

  “I know your relationship with King is different, but I can’t lie and say I’m not worried about the amount of stress his visit could cause. I can’t put myself in his shoes, and I’m trying my best to understand and not overstep, but you and the baby are going to be my top priority. Always.”

  “Which means what exactly?”

  “Can you promise me that if anything is making you upset, you’ll tell me?” He chews on the inside of his lip. “What if he stresses you out to the point where you end up back at the hospital?”

  “This is a hard position for both of you to be in, isn’t it? You’re his boss, his father-in-law, and now you have this new role in his life and mine. Ryan would never do anything to hurt me.”

  “Not intentionally, no.”

  “I appreciate your concern, Jake. And I will try to stay as level as possible. But I can deal with my son. He has a right to feel whatever he feels, and I’m not going to tell him he can’t because it might stress me out. What you’re asking isn’t fair. I need you to have faith in both of us.” This is probably the most challenging part of this situation. Because I have these two very strong, very important men who I care deeply about, and they’re both struggling to manage the roles they’ve taken on.

  I know better than anyone how that feels.

  “Okay. Backing off.”

  I laugh and he presses his lips to my temple.

  The doorbell rings and he gets up to answer it.

  Ryan and Queenie appear a minute later, arms laden down with food and flowers. I didn’t really get to talk to Ryan last night, apart from him telling me he was glad I was okay.

  Queenie bends down and hugs me gently. “How are you feeling?”

  “Better, thanks. Thank you
so much for being there for me last night.”

  “I’m just glad I could be.” She rises and gives Jake a bright smile. “Dad, can you help me in the kitchen? I brought all the makings for an awesome charcuterie board.”

  Jake looks from me to Ryan, who’s hanging back, thumbs tucked into his pockets.

  Jake plants a kiss on my cheek and murmurs, “We’ll give you two some time.”

  Queenie threads her arm through his and they disappear into the kitchen.

  “You gave us quite the scare last night.” Ryan pokes at the chip in his front tooth with his tongue.

  “It definitely wasn’t my favorite day.” I pat the cushion beside mine.

  He sits down and wraps his arm around my shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Han. I know I haven’t been as supportive as I should, and I feel awful knowing I’ve been causing you stress.”

  “You’re not the reason I ended up with gestational hypertension.”

  “No, but the way I’ve been acting sure hasn’t been helpful, and I’m sorry for that. I want you to know this has nothing to do with you and Jake being together. Or the fact you’re having a baby. He’s a great guy, and he cares a lot about you, more than I realized maybe.” He takes my hand in his. “You know, it wasn’t even a shock that you two ended up together. I mean, Queenie’s been rooting for it from day one.”

  “She has?”

  Ryan grins and shakes his head. “Oh yeah. She basically called it from the first time you two met. She said you had the zing. I guess it’s the same way with her and me. You know when you just connect with someone on a deeper level without even trying? You and Jake have that. It makes sense. You have similar histories and understand what it means to have to give something up in order to do what’s best for the people you love. Which is what has been the hardest for me to come to terms with, I think.”

  “Because I had to give you up in a way when you were a baby?” This is the conversation we’ve needed to have for a long while, or maybe he needed the time to come to terms with it and figure things out.

  “Queenie and I have been talking about it a lot lately. It’s not that I don’t want you to have this, because I do. You deserve to be a mom, and you’re going to be awesome at it. I mean, you basically raised me without me knowing it. And that’s the part that’s been the hardest for me to deal with.” He swallows thickly, taking a moment to compose himself.

  “I see it, Han, all the things you gave up for me. Not going away to college, not going out with friends on weekends so we could watch movies together. Always being the one to get me from school, take me to hockey practice. I noticed all of it. Even when I was a teenager, and I figured I was just really lucky to have an older sister who was so involved in my life.”

  “I didn’t want to miss any of the big moments.” There were so many times I’d wanted to come out and tell him. But I hadn’t wanted to be selfish.

  “I think part of me always knew. There were these little things you’d do. Like you always wrote me notes from the Tooth Fairy. You were there for everything. You taught me how to swim, to skate, you played street hockey with me. And you never got to hold the title you earned. Because you did, earn it, I mean. You were always there, for everything, exactly like a mom.” His expression is pained. “It’s been messing with my head because I’m going to watch you be the mom to this baby that you weren’t able to be for me, not openly. I’ve been really selfish and only thinking about how it affects me, and I’m sorry for that.”

  Hearing him say all of this, while painful and difficult, is in a lot of ways exactly what I needed to hear. I think we’ve both been trying to navigate this on our own. And Ryan never wants to cause people pain, emotional or otherwise.

  “You don’t have to be sorry, Ryan. I know how tough all of this is. For both of us.” I squeeze his hand. “And it’s okay if sometimes it’s hard for you. I just want you to tell me when it is, so we can deal with it together. I feel all the same things you do. I lost it on Mom hardcore and I’d like to say it was because of the hormones, but that would be a huge load of BS. And you can’t even really get mad at me because I’m pregnant and you’ll feel guilty.”

  “I felt awful about the way I reacted when you first told us. I’d been prepared for you to tell Queenie and me you were dating or something, and then you dropped the baby bomb and…well…all the stuff I’d thought I’d dealt with slapped me right in the face.” He sighs. “Queenie set me up with one of her therapist friends last week, and it’s been good to have a sounding board. I don’t know how you’d feel about talking to someone together, but maybe it’s something you would consider? Just so we can work on keeping the communication in our relationship open, and then Queenie doesn’t have to get on me about keeping things bottled up until I explode.” His cheeks turn pink, and I have to wonder what that’s about. Or maybe I don’t want to know.

  “If talking to someone together will help you and me, then that’s what we’ll do.”

  He wraps me up in a gentle hug. The kind that tells me without words that we’re in a much better place. “I love you, Momster.”

  “I love you, too, Ry-ry. You’ll always be my baby, even when you have your own.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Home Sweet Home

  Hanna

  I EXPECT THERE to be an adjustment period when I move into Jake’s place, even though we’ve been spending several nights a week at each other’s places. Apart from getting used to each other’s routines and habits, it’s fairly seamless.

  Jake is an easy guy to live with. He’s tidy, organized, and the only thing I can really complain about is the fact he often leaves his socks in very random places around the house. Apparently, he gets hot easily, and when that happens, his socks come off.

  I’ve taken to tossing them on his recliner, which hasn’t been getting much use these days since he’s migrated to the couch so he can sit with me in the evenings.

  He hands me a bowl of ambrosia salad—something my mom used to make when I was a kid, and I perfected by the time I was a teenager because I loved it so much. And just like when I was pregnant with Ryan, I can’t seem to get enough of it. I’m very grateful my dairy aversion has let up in the final trimester of my pregnancy.

  Jake drops down on the couch beside me, and, as expected, props his foot on the coffee table and shucks off his socks, dropping them onto the floor.

  I spear a chunk of pineapple and chase a mini-marshmallow around the bowl. “I have an idea.”

  “If it includes leaving a laundry basket in every room for my socks, I’m game.”

  I roll my eyes and grin, but give him the side-eye. “You know, if you really want to cool down faster, you could always take your shirt off instead of your socks.”

  “You just want to ogle my dad bod.” He runs his hand over his abs. He’s gained a few pounds along with me, possibly because I’ve been a fiend for chocolate pudding and all things chocolate, period. I’ve gone down to part-time at work, and I’ve been on modified bed rest since my visit to the hospital. It means I’ve had a lot of spare time, and I’ve spent quite a bit of it making easy, but delicious food. While sitting down, of course.

  But while my belly is swollen, his is still mostly a four-pack.

  “Well, duh.” I pop a mandarin slice into my mouth. “Of course I want to ogle you.”

  He gives me a smirk that makes everything below the waist clench. My hormones are ridiculous right now. But I’m as big as a house, and sex is off the table until the baby is born. Not because I don’t want to have it, but because my doctor is concerned an orgasm is going to raise my blood pressure too much. I’m scheduled for an induction at thirty-eight weeks. But that’s still a week away.

  “But then my shirts would be all over the place, too.”

  “Your socks aren’t all over the place, they’re right there. You probably have enough to do a sock load.” I motion to his lounger with the fork before I close my lips around it.

  “Well, shit. I mean s
hoot.” His fingers find the hem of my shirt, and he lifts it until about six inches of my belly is exposed. He leans over and presses his lips to my skin and whispers, “Sorry, little man. I didn’t mean to swear.”

  As if he can hear his dad talking to him, a fist or an elbow moves across my belly. I’ve been having Braxton Hicks contractions on and off for the past week. Ryan was two weeks early, and being older means there’s a greater likelihood that this little guy is going to make an appearance before the due date, too.

  I set my bowl aside so I can run my fingers through Jake’s hair while he coos at my stomach. He’s been amazing these past months, and what started as a mutual attraction has shifted. Especially since we had the scare and I moved in here. That’s what it took for me to finally come to terms with the fact that baby or no baby, we had something special. And it would be a lot easier on all of us if we gave our relationship the chance it deserved to evolve during the final months of my pregnancy.

  He’s become my confidant, my biggest supporter, and my best friend. He’s thoughtful, kind, and compassionate. He’s driven, intense, and take-charge in his work life. He’s an incredible, attentive lover and partner. And I can’t wait to raise this child with him, because I already know what a phenomenal father he is.

  _______________

  THE NEXT NIGHT there’s a game in Seattle. I sometimes attend them with the girls, but with me being so far along, it’s tough to sit in one of those seats for three hours. And I constantly have to pee, so I’ll have to wait until after the baby arrives before I can go again.

  Tonight, Queenie is keeping me company. She arrives as Jake is heading out the door.

  “I’ll have my phone on me the entire time. Call if you need anything.” He puts his hand on my belly but directs the comment at Queenie.

  I smooth my hands over the lapels of his suit jacket and adjust his tie. “We’ll be fine. Go do your job.”

  “My job is to make sure you and JJ are comfortable before anything else.” He presses a lingering kiss to my lips.

  “We’re good. And I have Queenie. I’ll see you in a few hours.”