by Sarah Bailey
Until now.
Until her.
Shaking myself out of those ridiculous notions, I grabbed the cream and walked back out into the hallway. Thankfully Rory was gone. Our conversation had well and truly rattled me. Was he right? Should I just admit it? Would it really be what was best for all of us?
Who the fuck knew?
I trudged downstairs and when I got into the kitchen, Xav had started on lunch for the three of them and had taken out my leftovers from the microwave, placing them on a plate for me. The atmosphere seemed less tense, but there was still a weird vibe in the room.
“Thanks,” I said to him as I dropped into a stool and slid the cream over the counter towards Ash.
She gave me a grateful smile.
“Who do you want to help you apply this, little girl?” Quinn asked.
She looked up at him almost shyly.
“You, please, sir.”
And for the first time today, a smirk appeared across his face as he hopped down from the stool. She picked up the tube of cream. He took her hand and led her into the dining room.
I turned to Xav before digging into my food.
“What’s going on?”
He looked up with wide eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“You three are being… weird.”
He shrugged and went back to stirring a pot on the stove.
“Nothing’s going on.”
I looked back towards the dining room, but I couldn’t see Ash or Quinn. So he was going to continue denying something had happened between them all.
“So those two have made up. Rory mentioned they fell out.”
When I glanced at Xav again, he was smirking and it made my suspicions deepen.
“Oh, they made up all right. Spectacularly.”
I frowned wondering what that meant.
“Oh, really now?”
He didn’t say anything else, merely gave me a wink. Xav wasn’t normally so cryptic so this was more than a little out of character. Figuring he probably wasn’t going to tell me, I tucked into my food. A few minutes later, Ash and Quinn reappeared with her looking a little brighter than she had done when she’d first come down. By that time, Xav had finished up making a huge pot of pasta, pesto with fresh cherry tomatoes, mozzarella and basil.
No one really spoke as we ate. I may have had a portion of Xav’s pasta too because it looked too good not to eat.
“Quinn…” I started. “We need to talk about… you know.”
He gave me a nod before looking over at Ash. She looked between all three of us and sighed.
“I take it I need to go spend time with Rory then, do I?”
“I’m sure he’ll appreciate lunch,” Quinn said.
Getting up, she went around the counter and dished up another bowl, filled a glass with water and grabbed a fork. She popped everything down on the counter before wrapping herself around Quinn and tilting her head up. He smiled before kissing her without any sort of restraint. I felt a little uncomfortable by the display but Xav didn’t even bat an eyelid. When she let Quinn go, she turned to Xav and hugged him too. He dropped a kiss to the top of her head which made me grit my teeth. Then she picked up the bowl, the glass and the fork and sauntered out, giving me a smile over her shoulder.
I had no fucking clue what just happened. Why wasn’t Quinn mad at Xav for hugging and kissing Ash? Why weren’t the two of them ripping into each other?
What the fuck is going on?
Chapter 7
It’d taken me some time to work out what comics I wanted to read next. I kept thinking ‘what would Ash want to read’ which was stupid since things were weird between us. Again, I should really apologise to her considering last night was a complete fuck up on my part. She couldn’t know what I wanted to do to her.
I went into my conservatory, hoping for some peace and quiet after all the weird vibes in the house, but when I got to my seating area, I stopped dead. Ash stood there with a tentative smile on her face. Sitting on the coffee table was a bowl of pasta, a glass of water and a fork.
“I brought you lunch.”
This felt a little like a peace offering. I walked further into the room and set my comics down as far away from the food as I could. It would kill me if I got anything on them. My comics were my most prized possessions.
But if you had Ash, she’d be the biggest prize of all.
I almost shook myself, hating the unwelcome reminder. My little star would be a prize, but there was absolutely no point dwelling on that fact as I sat down and picked up the bowl.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, not wanting to look at her.
When she said nothing, just stood there watching me, I felt my skin prickle.
“You don’t have to stay, you know.”
She shuffled her feet.
“I do… Quinn still doesn’t trust me on my own and he’s talking to Eric and Xav about something I’m not allowed to hear.”
Great, thanks Quinn. Just what I fucking well need right now.
Not that I could blame him considering he had no idea what I’d been going through when it came to Ash. How every time she was in my presence it was like temptation staring me in the face. A temptation which was becoming harder and harder to resist. As if Ash kept playing her siren’s song, reeling me in bit by bit. Her small, lithe body making my mouth water and my fingers twitch with the urge to touch her. And I didn’t want to touch anyone. Ever.
“You’re allowed to sit down.”
I leant back and started eating, watching her carefully as she shifted again. Her cheeks went red and she looked away.
“I’m too sore to sit,” she mumbled which made me raise an eyebrow.
There could only be one reason why that was and it made me insanely jealous. Like on a level I’d never felt before. Yes, I’d seen Quinn discipline her. That had stirred up all sorts of unwanted feelings as well as a very uncomfortable physical reaction. The potent lust in the air that night had been suffocating. It oozed out of all five of us and was made worse when we all heard Quinn fucking Ash in his office afterwards.
I had to admit it to myself. I wanted to punish Ash severely for the way she made me feel. The emotions she dragged out of me. It might sound like I resented her for it. That wasn’t the case at all. She had no fucking idea what kind of beast she kept prodding nor the ugliness inside me no one should ever bear witness to.
“Did he not take care of you afterwards?”
Her blue eyes met mine and her startled expression made me hide a smile.
“He did but that’s not the only reason…” she paced away towards the patio doors “…why… we… he… I shouldn’t be talking to you about this.”
It took me a moment to realise what she was implying and that… well, it set me off. I looked down, wondering how the hell I would make this go away. It dug into my jean’s zipper so whilst Ash’s back was turned, I adjusted myself, almost groaning at the contact. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d touched myself let alone got laid. I had very strict rules about sex so it couldn’t be with some random girl. They had to be okay with the outright depraved things I enjoyed and they were most definitely not allowed to touch me.
You’d let Ash touch you. You want her to. You want her hands on you. You want her to take away all your past trauma and pain.
My hand shook with the realisation I would allow that with her. And I was going to have to do something about my predicament when I was alone.
“I take it that was your first time.”
Her head whipped around and her blush spread down her neck. My assumption had to be correct. I knew all about what Quinn liked so him wanting to fuck her there didn’t come as a surprise to me. He could be very single-minded when it came to something he wanted.
“How did you… You know what, never mind. Discussing my… sex life with you is… well, it’s just…”
I smiled at her stumbling over her
words with her embarrassment. She didn’t need to be with me, but I refrained from saying so. I didn’t want to add to it.
She turned to me fully, her eyes fixed on mine like she was determined to change the topic of conversation.
“I actually wanted to talk to you about something.”
I swallowed my mouthful of food, bringing my bowl closer because I was more than a little worried about what she intended to say. When it came to Ash, I never expected what came out of her mouth. At times she could be shy and others very blunt. I liked those two sides of her, but it did come with its own set of hazards.
“Yesterday…” Christ, is she going to talk to me about what happened? “…I know that was weird, but I don’t want you to feel like I’m upset with you or that you did anything wrong.”
I almost dropped the bowl. Ash always proved to be the most unpredictable person I’d ever met in my life.
“It was my intention to apologise for my behaviour.”
She took a step towards me, a frown appearing on her brow.
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry for.”
“I distressed you.”
She shook her head and took another step in my direction. Her coming closer made me nervous. My skin crawled with the need to touch her. I was so fucked up.
“It might have looked that way to you… It was distressing in the sense that I was upset with myself for making you angry with me.”
“W…What?”
“I don’t want you to be angry or upset with me,” she told me, her voice quiet as she came even closer. “I want to make you smile so I get to see your dimples. I want to make you happy. I… I want to… please you.”
Jesus. Fucking. Christ.
Did she have any idea what she was saying? Did she know what she was doing to me?
I almost flinched when she stopped in front of me. The look in her blue eyes stole my breath. So much innocence yet so much compassion at the same time. So fucking bright. My little star.
“Rory…” She lowered herself to her knees, wincing as she did it. “Ror…” My heart fucking lurched at that. “I don’t know what happened to you to make you not want to touch anyone or feel and I’m okay with that. I want you to be yourself with me. I’d never ask for more… but I need you to know something.” She put a hand on her heart. “I feel it here when you look at me with such pain in your eyes. All I want to do is take it away for you.”
I clutched the bowl tighter as if it was the only thing protecting me from her… or was it the other way around?
“I know I can’t do that for you, but I’m still here… if you ever need me.”
I need you. I need you so much it fucking hurts, little star. It burns.
“Okay,” I whispered, unable to trust my voice any further.
“Yeah?”
I nodded, making her smile and that smile almost broke me. Making me long to reach out to her. To hold her close and use her to make all this pain go away.
She leant towards me only stopping when she was inches away from my knee as her hand landed on the arm of the chair. She was too close. Far too close. I swallowed hard. What the hell was she doing?
“Do you… do you want to touch me again?”
I froze, almost unable to breathe due to the tightness in my chest. If Ash didn’t stop baiting me, then the consequences would be fucking dire. She had no idea how I longed to touch her in ways she probably never expected. The things I wanted to say to her as I did it. How much I wanted to see marks all over her skin, branding her as mine.
“I… can’t,” I choked out.
“Why not?”
Wasn’t that a fucking question. One I couldn’t answer without wrecking everything.
Then Ash reached out and took the bowl out of my hands, careful not to touch me before she set it on the coffee table and turned back to me. There was absolutely nothing between us now and I was hanging by a thread.
“Ror…”
I sucked in air. God, why the fuck did she have to give me a nickname? Wasn’t my name short enough already? Why did it sound so good falling off her lips? Those damn beautiful, pink, pouty lips of hers. Now she was close up, I could see how full they were. And the crystal blue of her eyes. The way her pupils had dilated. The little lines in her brow as she frowned. Stunning. Everything about her was.
“I can’t. You have no idea what you’re asking.”
“I just want to understand.”
I shook my head. I was pressed so far back in the chair, there was nowhere else for me to go. My hands clenched into fists to stop me reaching out and touching her.
“You have no idea what you make me want, Ash.”
“Then tell me.”
I couldn’t. I just fucking couldn’t.
“You’ll be scared of me if I do.”
She cocked her head to the side.
“I could never be scared of you. Nothing can change how kind and sweet you’ve been to me since I got here.”
She’d only seen what I wanted her to. The parts of me which weren’t completely fucked up and broken. The parts which still allowed me to function as a normal human being. The rest? Destructive and deadly. I’d ruin all of her light if I touched her. I’d rip apart all the good in her.
“Please don’t ask this of me.”
Her eyes filled with understanding and that was worse than anything else she could’ve said or done.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered but she didn’t back away, no, if anything she got closer as her front brushed against my knees.
That small little touch made me snap. All of my darkest urges flooded my veins. The chains I kept secured so tightly broke and I was done.
Reaching out, my hand curled around her neck and I dragged her forward into my lap until her face was inches away from mine. She gripped the other arm to stop her hands from landing on me, but it didn’t fucking matter if she did touch me. I was too far gone to stop.
“I’m not nice, little star. I’m not kind or sweet. I’ll only hurt you worse than you’ve ever been hurt before.”
Her blue eyes were like saucers as she stared at me, but she did nothing to stop me gripping her throat.
“You think Quinn’s pain is bad… I’ll break you with mine. I can’t do that to you. I can’t rip away all the good in you. So you have to stop. You can’t push me. Every time you’re near me, I only want you more. Stay away from me, Ash, unless you want me to destroy you completely.”
Chapter 8
When Ash left the room, I looked at Quinn expectantly. Xav started cleaning up the dishes whilst Quinn pulled out his phone, frowning.
“I haven’t spoken to Geoff yet.”
Considering how important this was, it surprised me. Quinn’s frown deepened the longer he stared at his phone.
“Check the news.”
I grabbed my tablet off the counter, the one I had in here to follow recipes and pulled up a couple of news sites. There were several headlines involving Russo’s investment company.
“Billionaire’s stock falls after potential investor pulls out of several deals.”
“Stock crash after investor goes elsewhere.”
It seemed things had gone to plan a little too well.
“Is this what you hoped the outcome would be?” I asked as I turned the screen around and showed him.
His eyes scanned over the headlines before he looked up at me.
“No… but it’s better than I could’ve hoped for. What do the articles say?”
I clicked on one of them and scanned it.
“This one talks about how the investor for some of the companies he owns pulled out last minute last night citing they had found better investments elsewhere and couldn’t iron out the details. It goes on to say how this doesn’t look good for Russo and his investments and they’re speculating he’s lost millions with the deals falling through. Another one has pictures of Russo leaving his house this morning wit
h Nate.”
I paused to read what it actually said.
“Speculation around Mr Russo’s daughter, Ashleigh, heightens as she has not been seen since the very public breakup between her and his right-hand man, the US-born Nathaniel Tucker. Sources say she is not taking the breakup well. Is Ashleigh hiding from the spotlight? Nobody knows. Mr Russo has refused to comment on his daughter’s situation whilst her ex-boyfriend remains silent on the topic of their breakup.”
Quinn looked outright outraged by the article.
“Do not let her see that under any circumstances.”
“Um… okay.”
“It’ll only upset her. She’s already had enough surprises for one day.”
I placed the tablet on the counter and cocked my head to the side.
“Since when did you start caring about not upsetting her?”
His head snapped up, his eyes dark. He could hardly blame me for that question when he’d been so single-minded about all this shit regardless of how it would affect her.
“None of your fucking business.”
“Don’t be a dick to E,” Xav interjected. “He’s only asking a question.”
Quinn stood up and eyed Xav for a moment before turning back to me.
“She is more important than this crap, understood? And you two can help me move her clothes into the guest room.”
I stared after Quinn as he stalked out of the room.
“What the fuck was that all about?”
Xav chuckled and came over to me, giving me a slap on the back.
“That, my friend, is a miracle called Quinn is falling in love.”
If that was true, it would be a miracle. Quinn had never loved anyone. At least no one female anyway. He definitely had not been in love with his only girlfriend who we all hated because she was pretty much the worst. She didn’t like us much either and kept trying to get Quinn to ditch me, Rory and Xav. So, of course, Quinn eventually ditched her for good.
“Yeah, right and I’m the frigging prime minster.”