Finding You

by Elizabeth Holland

  Relief flooded her as she soon came across a small Tesco store. It would have everything she needed to make dinner. Quickly, she filled her basket. There were a few people that she kept seeing, but she wasn’t sure whether they were following her or if they were just doing their weekly shop. She was feeling incredibly paranoid and so Laura made her way to the check-out and paid for her ingredients, putting them into a backpack to carry home. On her way back to the flat she walked towards the oncoming crowd - a difficult feat when using crutches - hoping that it would offer her some protection. As she found herself back at the entrance to the flat, she looked behind her and fear flooded her body. Stood on the opposite side of the road, staring directly at her, was a man. Laura gasped for breath as she noticed the man was wearing the same uniform that the men at the hospital had been. He could have even been one of the men from the hospital.

  Laura made her way into the flat, as quickly as possible, and locked the door firmly behind her. However, it wasn’t until she got inside the flat she realised there could be someone inside waiting for her. Her heart hammered in her chest as she strained her ears to hear whether she was alone. She froze as she heard footsteps coming from the living room. A sick feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. Laura was trapped, the balcony was too high for her to jump, and the cast on her leg meant that she couldn’t run anywhere. This was it. She was finally about to see Sean again. Perhaps the men would even tell her why they had killed Sean. At least then she would know what this was all about, even if it was too late.

  With a sense of resignation, Laura put the bag of shopping down by the door and made her way to the living room. Inside she was falling apart, but she would not show them. She would pretend she was feeling brave. They had already taken Sean from her; she would not give them the satisfaction of watching her suffer.

  “Where have you been? Are you okay?” Laura almost lost her footing as she heard Luke’s voice. It was him in the living room, not somebody lurking, waiting to murder her.

  “Oh, Luke!" Laura gasped as her body slumped against the wall. She couldn’t control herself any longer as relief took over.

  “Claire, what’s wrong?” Luke asked, he pulled her into his embrace.

  “They’re outside.” she whispered, trying to stop herself from sobbing into his chest.

  “Let’s sit you down.” With a practiced efficiency, Luke calmly walked Laura over to the sofa and sat her down. He then went to make her a cup of tea, putting sugar in it to help with the shock. “Here, drink this. I’m going to call the police.” He handed her the tea and picked up his phone, leaving the room as he dialled the number. Laura tried to focus on her breathing. She took long, deep breaths to slow her heart rate and calm herself down. By the time Luke returned, Laura had gained some control over herself and could form enough words to have a conversation.

  “What did they say?” she asked, thoughts whirling around her head. Thankfully, Luke only knew her as Claire and so he couldn’t give away her identity.

  “I told them someone had followed me home from work. They’re going to send an officer out straight away. In the meantime, we have to stay put.”

  “What about after? I can’t stay here.” As Laura said the words the reality set in, she was no longer safe here with Luke.

  “I’ve thought about that. A friend of mine is on holiday at the moment and I have the keys to his flat, we can stay there.”

  Within a few minutes, they had both packed a bag and were sitting back in the living room trying to devise a plan as to how they would leave without anyone seeing them.

  “You’re overthinking things, Claire. I have a car parked in the basement garage, we’ll be able to take the lift straight down there and drive away. Nobody will expect you to leave the building in a car.” Laura had to admit that Luke made a valid argument.

  “How will we know when it’s safe?” Laura asked, her voice trembling with fear. She had always suspected that this day would come, where they caught up with her, but the reality was so much worse than what she had been expecting.

  Luke didn’t answer her question, instead he took her hand in his and squeezed. The awkward atmosphere had disappeared, and he was back to being kind and attentive.

  Chapter Ten

  After what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only an hour or two, Laura and Luke made their way down to the carpark in the building’s basement. Laura wondered whether she should feel scared. A complete stranger was about to put her in a car and drive her to an unknown destination. However, Laura couldn’t feel scared. Luke had been lovely to her, incredibly helpful, and he had even saved her life. She knew he was on her side. The men who were after her were much scarier, and for now, that was reason enough for Laura to trust Luke.

  Luke led Laura to a fancy Range Rover, which looked as though he rarely used it. There wasn’t a single fingerprint on the shiny black exterior. With a flick of a button, the boot opened and Luke stashed their bags. He then walked around to the passenger side to help Laura climb into the car - it wasn’t an easy feat with a heavy cast on her leg. He then took her crutches from her and laid them down on the backseat. She would miss having someone to look after her when she inevitably had to leave Luke.

  “Are you okay?” Luke asked once they were both seated in the car and had their seat belts on.

  “I think so,” whispered Laura as she watched Luke manoeuvre the car out of the parking space and towards the exit. She was grateful that the car had tinted windows so that even if anyone spotted them, it was unlikely they would be able to see who the occupants were. Laura had one of Luke’s baseball caps on, and she had sunk down in the seat so that nobody could see her face.

  “It’s going to be okay.” Luke reassured her as they drove out into daylight and quickly merged with the London traffic. There didn’t seem to be anybody around watching them.

  "Tell me more about yourself to distract me, please.” Finding out more about Luke was a pleasant distraction.

  “Fun fact, I’m a black belt in karate.” That hadn’t been what Laura had been expecting Luke to say, but it immediately provided some reassurance. Those men that had been in the hospital didn’t look as though they could run to the toilet, let alone fight against black-belt Luke.

  They both lapsed into silence as Luke navigated his way through the bustling roads of London, whilst Laura conjured up images of a topless Luke doing karate. She knew, strictly speaking, he wouldn’t be topless, but in a situation like this, where her life was in danger, she was sure the karate gods would be okay with it.

  “I also make an amazing roast dinner,” Luke announced, shattering Laura’s carefully thought-through karate fantasy.

  “I love a roast dinner,” Laura commented as her stomach rumbled. Her mind wandered to Sunday lunches at Luke’s father’s house with his family around. She wondered whether it would feel as homely as Sunday lunch at Sean’s had been. They had been together for so long that his parents treated her as one of their own children. She never left their house without a big smile on her face and a huge bowl of leftovers for Monday night’s dinner. Laura bit her lip until she drew blood. She had to stop her mind wandering to Sean. Her fantasies about Luke were pointless, even if things were different and he knew the real her. It was too late. Laura’s heart was broken, and it already belonged to someone else.

  The journey didn’t take long, every time the car slowed to a stop Laura would glance around them to see if she recognised any cars following them. Thankfully, it didn’t look like anyone was.

  "I’m afraid there’s no parking at the flat so we’ll just have to find a spot along the street." Luke’s apologetic tone reverberated through Laura, he was being incredibly thoughtful towards her feelings. He knew how scared she was. All this was for her, and yet she was putting him in immense danger. She didn’t know how she could ever thank him for his help.

  Luke effortlessly parked the car along a quaint road filled with smart-looking townhouses. It was early afternoon a
nd people were at work, so the street was quiet. They both sat for a moment, taking in their surroundings and breathing a sigh of relief that nobody had ambushed them on the journey. As they sat in silence, a memory tried to break into Laura’s consciousness. It was the night she came home from hospital. The night Luke told her he didn’t own a car.

  “Luke, I thought you said you didn’t have a car?” Laura’s voice trembled. He had lied to her, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to know the reason behind it.

  “I meant I didn’t have a car at the hospital.” He smiled over at her, but it seemed false. An involuntary shiver ran through Laura’s body. She decided not to mention the car again.

  Without saying another word, they both climbed out of the car and Luke took their bags from the boot. He pointed to a house a few doors down and Laura followed him. Her eyes were darting around them to see whether there was anyone around who could have followed them. She followed Luke up the path and he unlocked the front door, which opened onto a small hallway.

  “It’s flat one, the door is straight ahead.” He took out a set of keys and let her into the flat. Laura was relieved to see that it was on the ground floor. That made running away easier - at least it would if she didn’t have a broken ankle.

  Following Luke into the flat, Laura couldn’t help but notice the similarities to Luke’s own home. The walls were bare and there were very few personal pictures or possessions. It was almost like walking into a show home. Perhaps his friend was another busy doctor. Laura cast her thoughts aside as she sat down in the living room and Luke came to sit beside her.

  “What now?” she asked, she wasn’t expecting an answer, she was merely thinking aloud.

  “Claire, I think you better tell me a little more about what’s going on.” Laura knew there would come a time when Luke asked more questions, and after all he had done for her, she knew she had to tell him. She had known him for almost a week now, and all he had done was worry about her and ensure she was safe. It was time to share her story with him.

  “Okay, I’m not sure where to begin.” Laura took a deep breath as she tried to organise her thoughts. She would tell Luke everything except her identity. If he had to get the police involved, then at least he wouldn’t be able to tell them who she was.

  “Start at the beginning, it’s okay, Claire, I’m here." He reached out and took her hands in his. It was intended to be a comforting gesture, however it just made her heart beat faster and further confused her thoughts.

  “27th October 2019. That was the day it happened, the day my life fell apart.” Laura took a deep breath. Was she really about to tell an almost-stranger about the most traumatic day of her life? She had to. He was her only help right now and he couldn’t continue to help her without knowing what, or who, they were running from. Laura took a deep breath and told Luke about the night she came home to find a pool of blood and no Sean.

  “I’m sorry for your loss.” Luke’s face was ashen, as though he was experiencing her pain with her. There was something cathartic about telling someone what she had gone through.

  "That’s the thing, we don’t know if we lost him. They never found a body." Laura had to dampen down the hope that always swelled inside of her whenever this little detail came up. Just because they hadn’t found Sean’s body didn’t mean that he was alive. The people had broken into the flat knew what they were doing, as did the ones who were following her. It was likely that they knew exactly how to cover their tracks. Then there was the further evidence that the police had which led to Sean being presumed dead. Laura wasn’t sure she wanted to know what that further evidence was.

  “Why did they target him?” asked Luke. He was careful how he worded his question.

  “That’s my biggest question. To this day, I don’t know why this happened to him. How stupid is it I’m on the run from a group of criminals but I don’t even know why?” Laura’s body sunk into the chair as she was overcome by exhaustion, she had been so brave until that moment, but now the crushing feeling of loss overcame her. Luke pulled her into his warm embrace. It was nice to have someone hold and comfort her. “I’ve searched for over a year now, but I can’t find any answers. I’m desperate to know what happened and why, but I don’t know where to turn next.”

  After a few minutes, she pulled back from his embrace. She needed to control her emotions. Talking about Sean hurt. Taking a deep breath, she shut the feelings of loss away in a little compartment in her brain. Those feelings would only stop her from thinking clearly, and right now she needed to come up with a plan on how she was going to escape this mess. As she stared at Luke’s face, only a few inches from her own, his arms were still wrapped around her. Guilt crushed Laura’s heart. How could she have dragged such a kind and thoughtful man into this mess? His green eyes gazed into hers and she couldn’t look away. His fingers traced their way up her arm leaving her skin fizzing from his touch. She didn’t know who moved first, although she was sure it couldn’t have been her, but his lips were on hers and he was kissing her. It took Laura a moment to respond - she kissed him back. Her mind was confused and the pain of Sean’s loss was ripping her apart, but for those few short moments, Luke silenced everything. She found a brief escape.

  The kiss only lasted a few seconds before Laura’s senses returned, and she pulled back. Luke was a lovely and thoughtful man, but she couldn’t do this. She couldn’t betray Sean. Despite over a year apart, she still loved him and she would still give anything to have him back in her life. The kiss with Luke had been lovely, but it wasn’t right. Their last kiss had already complicated their relationship, they didn’t need anymore problems right now.

  “I’m so sorry.” Luke gasped as he moved back on the sofa to put some distance between the two of them.

  “It’s okay.” Laura replied, her voice was small and full of emotion. She didn’t know what to say. It was not Luke’s fault, but it was the wrong thing to do.

  “No, it’s not okay. You were vulnerable, and I took advantage.” The pain on Luke’s face shocked Laura. She didn’t want him to feel guilty for something that wasn’t his fault. If the situation was different, then Laura knew she could be very happy with Luke. It was complicated and messy. Life didn’t get much more complicated than being on the run.

  “Honestly, Luke, it’s fine. I’m going to go for a lie down, today’s taken it out of me. Why don’t you order us some dinner and come and get me once it’s here?” Laura needed a few minutes alone. She wanted to shut herself away and cry. It wasn’t often she allowed the full force of her feelings to invade her thoughts, but when she did, the feeling of loss was suffocating. The reminder she had to go on living without Sean by her side was by far the worst feeling she had ever encountered.

  Laura laid down on the single bed in the middle of the guest bedroom. Luke had tried to give her the main bedroom, but she had refused. The stress of the day caught up with her and she laid there and sobbed until her throat was raw and there were no tears left to fall. She pressed her fingers to her lips. Why had she allowed Luke to kiss her? The first time had been a mistake, the second time should never have happened. As she sat there alone, listening to the surrounding city, she thought back to the first time Sean had kissed her, twelve years ago.

  ◆◆◆

  1st June 2008,

  “Are you asking me on a date?" Seventeen-year-old Laura twirled a strand of hair around her finger. Her friend Rachel had told her it made girls look sophisticated and sexy. Laura suspected she just looked silly as she tried to untangle the hair from her finger. Sean Scott was standing in front of her, dangling his car keys at her. It was their last ever day of school and they had both just walked out of their final A-level exam. As Laura was walking down the hallway, Sean had caught up with her and asked her if she wanted to grab a coffee.

  “Do you want me to ask you on a date?” he had teased her, falling into stride beside her.

  “Ask me and you’ll find out.” Laura had finally pulled her finger free of her ha
ir. She wouldn’t be trying that again.

  “Laura Harper, will you go on a date with me to get a cup of coffee?” To Laura’s horror, Sean had taken her hand and got down on one knee, embarrassing her in front of everyone. At least it would have been embarrassing if Laura cared what anyone else thought. Instead, she burst out laughing and told Sean that she would love to go on a date with him.

  As Sean drove them into town, Laura didn’t stop laughing. They had always been friends, however over the last few months they had grown closer. Once in town, they headed to Laura’s favourite cafe where she knew for a fact that they did the best hot chocolate in the north.

  “What would you like?” Sean asked as they chose a table by the window.

  “Could I have a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows?” She beamed back at him. Nobody could be unhappy around Sean, his enthusiasm for life was contagious.

  “Hot chocolate, in June?” Sean didn’t look convinced, but he shrugged his shoulders and went over to order at the counter. Whilst she waited for him to return, Laura couldn’t help but stare at Sean. He was eighteen, with short brown hair, an athletic build, vivid blue eyes and a wicked sense of humour. He towered above her short frame, and Laura could only imagine how lovely it would feel to have him embrace her. They had been friends for long enough for her to know that he was a good person, with an amazing personality, and he never failed to make her laugh.

  “Hot chocolate, in June,” Sean announced as he placed two identical mugs down on the table. Laura raised her eyebrows at him. “I couldn’t let you drink alone.” He shrugged his shoulders and sat down opposite her.

  They sat at that table until the cafe closed, and not once did the smile fall from Laura’s face. Sean had agreed that hot chocolate in summer was acceptable after taking the first sip of the delectable drink. They discussed their futures and realised that whilst most of their friends were heading off to university, they were both staying home to pursue their careers. Laura was to attend the local college to study catering - she hoped to get an internship at a restaurant. Meanwhile, Sean was joining the police force.