Finding You

by Elizabeth Holland

  Sean drove her home and Laura revelled in every second they spent in each other’s company. She didn’t want the evening to end.

  “Laura, do you have plans for tomorrow?” Sean’s face looked apprehensive as he waited for her reply. It was Friday night and with the entire summer stretching ahead of her before she started college, Laura had very few plans, other than cooking and trying lots of new foods.

  “That depends.” She smiled back at him. She would not let him get away with it that easily.

  “Depends on what?” he asked, looking a little deflated.

  "On whether you’re going to ask me out on another date.” She saw the flash of happiness across his face as he realised what she was saying.

  “Laura Harper, would you do me the honour of going on another date with me tomorrow?” Thankfully, they were still sitting in Sean’s car and so he could not bend down on one knee again.

  “I’d love to.” She smiled back at him. Excitement was already building inside of her. Another day with Sean Scott, this was definitely going to be a summer to remember.

  “I’ll pick you up at midday. I’ve been wanting to try out a new restaurant and I suspect you’re just the girl to take with me.” Before Laura could reply, Sean had leaned over and planted his lips on hers. Being the awkward teenager that she was, Laura froze, waiting for her brain to kick in.

  “Are you going to kiss me back?” Sean asked, pulling back from her slightly.

  "Sorry, you just took me by surprise.” Laura blushed.

  “No, that’s okay. I shouldn’t have been so presumptuous as to kiss you.” It was Sean’s turn to look embarrassed now.

  “No, Sean, I want to kiss you.” Laura was horrified at the giggle that escaped her lips as she leaned over to kiss Sean.

  It may not have been the perfect first kiss, but it was perfect for them. It had completely summed up their relationship, playful and caring.

  ◆◆◆

  Chapter Eleven

  “Claire, dinner’s here!” Luke called from outside her bedroom door.

  “Thank you, I’ll be right out.” Laura rubbed her puffy eyes and swung her legs off of the bed. She would be brave and face Luke. She deeply regretted kissing him for a second time. There was no denying that he was attractive. Laura was confused and hurt, all she wanted was for Sean to wrap his arms around her and tell her that everything would be okay. She craved the feeling of someone caring for her. Laura couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to never feel Sean’s arms around her again. The thought alone brought a lump to her throat. To never gaze into his eyes again or to feel his touch - it was unbearable. She had to be brave and keep searching for answers.

  Laura walked into the living room to find Luke sat down with two pizza boxes and two bottles of beer. He was flicking through the television channels as she sat down next to him.

  “I’ve got a Margherita and a four cheese, which one would you like?” Always the gentleman - unless he was trying to kiss you - Luke held out the boxes, waiting for Laura to make her choice.

  “The Margherita, please.” Laura had never been very adventurous in her pizza choices, something that Sean marvelled at, given her career as a chef.

  Laura took a bite of the pizza and sighed in delight. After going so long not knowing when her next meal would be, she knew how lucky she was to have so much food in front of her. They ate in silence for a while, neither of them knowing what to say. Laura had never been in a situation like this, and so she did not know what the best way to deal with it was.

  “I’m sorry.” Luke’s voice was almost a whisper as he paused in-between pizza slices. Laura finished the mouthful she was chewing, wondering what to say.

  “Can we just forget about it? I could brush it off and say it’s okay, but honestly, it’s not. I shouldn’t have done it, and I regret it. It’s not your fault. Oh god, this is awful - I’ve turned this into an ‘it’s not you, it’s me moment’.” Laura sighed, she had just gone and made everything even more awkward.

  Luke laughed. “Claire, calm down. I understand, you’ve been through a lot. Let’s just forget it ever happened.” He reached his hand out and Laura shook it in agreement.

  “Would you like a beer?” Luke asked, pointing towards the second beer on the coffee table.

  “I thought I couldn’t drink with my pain meds?” When Luke had discharged her from the hospital, he had taken her to the pharmacy where they dispensed her medication. The pharmacist was very explicit in telling her that under no circumstances was she allowed to consume alcohol with them.

  “I won’t tell anyone if you don’t.” Luke winked at her. The pharmacist had repeated the warning twice. Despite Luke being a doctor, Laura didn’t want to take any risks and so she declined.

  “I’ll be asleep in five seconds if I drink that,” she joked, trying to dissipate the tension in the room. Why had he been trying to encourage her to drink?

  Laura finished her pizza in silence as Luke diverted his attention towards the television. She was feeling increasingly uneasy in his presence, but wasn’t sure why. There had been a few strange occurrences, but nothing out of the ordinary. She had to keep reminding herself that he had saved her life, so why would he want to harm her?

  Chapter Twelve

  The following morning, Laura walked into the kitchen to find Luke sat at the table eating his breakfast. In silence, she poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table. Despite them sharing a takeaway last night, there was still an awkward atmosphere lingering. Laura was feeling uneasy around Luke. There was also something off about him. Last night had only emphasised that. However, until she knew the truth behind Sean’s disappearance, and possible death, she had no other choice but to trust him. Last night’s reminiscing had reminded her just how much she missed Sean and wanted him back in her life. They had shared many happy memories together, and she still couldn’t see her future without him in it.

  “I’m sorry about yesterday.” Luke said, looking up from his bowl of cereal. He had dark circles under his eyes and kept running his fingers through his hair.

  “Please, Luke, let’s not dwell on it. We made a mistake, but we can move on from that mistake. Friends?” Luke nodded in agreement.

  “We really need to come up with a plan, Claire. What do you want to achieve? Do you want to find out what happened to your boyfriend, or do you want to just live in peace?” Luke’s question set Laura’s mind racing. What did she want? She had never really considered it that way, she had always assumed that she would have to discover the truth before she could live in peace. Laura knew that discovering what happened was the only option. She had to know what happened to Sean, and then she could start thinking about the future.

  “I want both, but I’m not sure whether that’s possible.”

  “Anything’s possible, we just need to come up with a plan." He smiled at her and immediately Laura blushed. She was doing that a lot around Luke.

  “Luke, please don’t take this the wrong way because I really appreciate your help. I’m just wondering why you’re helping me? I’ve put you in serious danger. You should run as far away as possible.” Laura wrapped her hands around her warm cup of coffee for comfort. A stranger was her best hope of getting out of this mess alive, and not only did that scare her, but it also made her feel awfully lonely. She had to know the reasons behind his actions before she could truly trust him.

  “I’m a doctor, it’s in my nature to help people. My mother also brought me up to be kind and considerate towards others. I know she would be proud of me if she were here to see me helping you. Besides, they were watching my flat so I can’t exactly go back. From a selfish point of view, I’ve got to help you to help me.” Despite the gravity of his words, Luke kept his expression light and cheerful. A crushing guilt still engulfed Laura as she thought of how she had dragged Luke into this awful mess. He was too caring for his own good, and it had got him into trouble.

  “So, what do we do next?” It was nice to
know that she would have someone by her side again. There was a certain safety in numbers, especially when number two was a tall doctor with a black belt in karate.

  “What happened to the flat you shared with Sean?”

  Laura thought for a few moments, she didn’t know what had happened. Had her parents and Sean’s parents cleared it? Could they have sold it without her there and no confirmation of Sean’s death? Or perhaps it was still part of the criminal investigation?

  “I’m not sure,” she admitted. She couldn’t bear the thought of someone else living in her flat. Despite the horrific memories of that night, the flat held so many incredible happy memories.

  "I have some contacts. Why don’t you write the address down on this piece of paper and I’ll see what I can discover."

  Laura wondered what connections Luke had that could find out who, if anyone, was living at a particular address. However, she reasoned with herself that being a doctor, he probably had contacts in the police. As Luke went outside to make his call, Laura stayed sat at the kitchen table staring down at her cup of coffee. Something about that morning jogged her memory, and she was immediately taken back to a morning a few days before Sean’s disappearance.

  ◆◆◆

  24th October 2019,

  It was a rare morning where Sean was not on an early shift or tucked up in bed having worked through the night. For once, they could sit and eat breakfast together. At least, that was what Laura had been planning on doing, until Sean’s phone rang and he crept out of the flat. Laura had sat there and picked at her croissant, wondering who he could be on the phone to that meant he had to leave the flat. Over the years, Sean had taken many confidential work phone calls with her in earshot. She couldn’t help the fear that bubbled away inside of her, gnawing at her insides. If it wasn’t work, then what was it? Was he having an affair? The thought flitted across Laura’s mind, but she quickly pushed it to the side. Of course Sean wasn’t having an affair, he loved her. Didn’t he? He wouldn’t just throw away an eleven-year-old relationship.

  By the time Sean returned to the flat, the fresh croissants were cold, the coffee had stagnated and Laura was pulling on her coat, ready to leave for a day at work. It would be late by the time she returned and Sean would most likely be asleep as he had an early start the following day. For the first time in their relationship, Laura was awkward around him, unsure of how to act or what questions to ask him.

  “You okay?” he asked, stepping towards her. Laura couldn’t help but flinch back. It was a natural reaction, but one that she had never experienced in the presence of Sean.

  “Are you okay?” she returned his question, taking in his appearance. There was something about him that looked hassled. He had beads of sweat forming on his head despite the chilly October temperatures. His eyes were darting towards the door like he wanted to leave.

  “I’m fine. What’s going on, Laura?” Despite the look of worry in his eyes, his tone was harsh and not how he would usually speak to her.

  “What’s going on? What’s going on with you, Sean?” she retorted. It hurt for him to speak to her like this, as if she were annoying him with trivial questions. It wasn’t the Sean she knew.

  “Sorry, Laura, it’s just work.” He sighed and his whole demeanour changed. His body relaxed, his eyes softened and the creases in his forehead flattened. He stepped forward, and this time Laura let him wrap his arms around her. The familiar feeling of his embrace, and the smell of his aftershave calmed her. This was her Sean, he would never hurt her. These late nights were playing havoc with her mind.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” She didn’t really have time to sit and talk, but she knew she had to try. There was obviously something worrying him.

  “No, it’s fine. I’ll be okay in a few days, just a stressful operation that they have assigned me to.” He gave her a reassuring smile and pulled her in for another hug - Laura didn’t know whether the hug was for her benefit or his.

  "I’m here if you need to chat, okay?”

  “I know, now get to work before you’re late!” He walked her towards the door and handed her bags to her.

  “I love you.” She smiled at him before reaching up on her tiptoes to give him a kiss goodbye.

  “I love you too. Let’s book that holiday when you get home tonight, I think we could do with a break.” As Laura closed the door and walked towards her car, she couldn’t wipe the smile off of her face. A holiday, somewhere hot, with Sean was just what she needed.

  ◆◆◆

  The noise of a car horn jolted Laura back to the present. She gasped for breath. Laura hated how these flashbacks would take her over and then leave her feeling heartbroken. They never booked that holiday. When she got home that night there was a note from Sean apologising that he had to work late. There was nothing unusual about that note, but Laura’s heart had sunk. In that moment, she knew something was going on. Somehow, those memories and those feelings had been lost under the grief and trauma. Now they were coming back to her, she was sure that something had been going on. What had Sean been involved in that had led to this happening? She almost wished it had been another woman.

  “I’ve got good news!" Luke called as he walked back into the flat.

  “Your contact had information?” Laura asked, she wanted to know more about this contact but she had too much whirling around inside of her head to add anything more to it.

  "Yes. You and Sean still own the flat, and nobody else is living there."

  The uneasiness resurfaced within Laura. How did a doctor know somebody who could access so much information with such ease?

  Chapter Thirteen

  All too soon, their bags were packed, and they were in the car hurtling towards Manchester. Luke had promised Laura that he had lots of holiday to take from work and they wouldn’t miss him. Despite Luke’s profession and the number of traffic accident victims he must have tended to, he was paying little notice to the speed limit. Laura couldn’t help but observe how his hands gripped the steering wheel, his knuckles were almost white. The stress of the last few days had caught up with Laura. She was tired, her heart was constantly pounding in her chest and she felt sick. She’d also had a few flashbacks to her life with Sean and they had completely drained her, both physically and emotionally. Something told Laura that this trip was about to change everything.

  “What’s our plan?” Laura asked, trying to distract herself from the uneasiness that was gnawing away in the pit of her stomach.

  “I’ve booked us a hotel online. I thought we’d go there first, perhaps grab some food, and we’ll go to the flat tonight, when it’s dark.” Luke didn’t take his eyes off the road, he just kept staring ahead whilst talking. By now, he was weaving in and out of traffic, and Laura could only describe his driving as erratic.

  “That sounds good.” Laura didn’t know what else to say. It seemed Luke had already formed a plan without consulting her. They would have to be careful entering the flat in case anyone was searching for her.

  They remained in silence for the rest of the journey. It was awkward, and Laura was relieved when they pulled up outside an average-looking hotel in the middle of Manchester. If Laura had been in charge of booking the hotel, she would have booked something on the outskirts of the city, but perhaps hiding in plain sight was better. With a quick glance around the car park, Laura clumsily climbed out of the car. There was nobody around. She took her crutches and prepared herself for the physical pain as she tried to keep up with Luke. Although her ribs were slowly healing, they were still painful, and the constant pain was exhausting.

  “Have you stayed here before?" she asked Luke, not that she was particularly interested in his answer, she just wanted to end the strange silence that had fallen.

  “No, I’ve only been to Manchester a handful of times. Have you stayed here before?” Luke grabbed their bags from the boot and walked towards the hotel. Laura struggled to keep up with his long-strides.

  “I’ve never
stayed here. I’ve never even noticed the hotel, and I must have walked past it a thousand times.” Luke wasn’t listening to her answer, he was already at the reception desk checking them in. Laura wasn’t sure what had happened, but his attitude towards her had definitely shifted. Perhaps the gravity of their situation had hit him and he was regretting his decision in helping her. She didn’t blame him, she wasn’t sure she could put herself in danger for a complete stranger. Perhaps she was entirely misguiding him and he was feeling rejected after their kiss. Laura wasn’t sure what was influencing his decisions, and she couldn’t waste her energy on worrying about it.

  Once they were up in the room, Laura was relieved to discover that there were separate beds. She took the one by the window and sat down for a moment to catch her breath. Thankfully, she still had some pain medication with her and so she delved inside her backpack for it.

  “What do you fancy for lunch?” Luke asked her. He had a smile on his face again and the odd atmosphere had evaporated.

  “Do they do room service?” They had a lot to discuss and Laura couldn’t face trying to walk around Manchester with this cast on her leg. She needed some time to recuperate before they went out tonight.

  An hour later, they were sitting at the small table in their room, each with a toasted cheese and ham sandwich and a side of chips in front of them. It wasn’t exactly Cordon bleu, but it was just what they needed.

  “Do you have the key to the flat?” Luke asked her. His eyes settled on hers. A chill ran down Laura’s spine. She wanted to believe it was because an attractive man was staring at her, but she still had a strange feeling in her stomach.

  "Yeah, I do. What time were you thinking of leaving?"

  “Just after midnight?”