Last Heartbreak

by H. M. Ward

  “If I'd done as she’d asked me to, she’d still be here today. My stepdad tried his best, but, in the end, it was too much for him. Stress-induced heart attack. My selfishness cost Lori both her parents. How’s that for guilt?”

  I get off of my chair, move over to sit on Graham’s lap and hold him tightly in my arms. He rests his head on my chest, sobbing. His body shakes and my shirt grows wet with his tears. I don’t care. I just hold him tighter.

  My fingers stroke his dark, thick hair, trying to soothe his pain. “Her depression wasn’t your fault. You were a teenager who didn’t know any better. You’re not guilty of anything. She needed help—professional help."

  "The rational part of me knows this, Kia. But getting this," he points a finger at his heart, "to understand and accept that knowledge is not as easy."

  I don't have the answer for that and I don't pretend I do. I simply do the one thing I can. I hold him tight.

  "That's why I've been working at the crisis call center. For every person I help, I feel a little more forgiven. I give the callers the attention I should have given my mother.”

  "I wish she could see what an amazing man you are, what an amazing father—I mean—brother you are to Lori. Speaking of which, how come I didn't know Lori is your sister?”

  "You never asked. You assumed that she was my daughter. Everybody does. Only very few people put it together. Mrs. Leone, Lilah, Stark, and Dink have been around our family long enough to remember my parents. I don't bother correcting people when they make the assumption to avoid the questions and the accusations. I don't want Lori thinking anything bad about our mother, and every time it's brought up sullies her memory. Besides, I've been more like a father than a brother to her anyway."

  “You are such an amazing person, Graham. I love you."

  He leans in slowly, his lips hesitant. I close the distance and lightly brush my mouth to his in a small kiss. I need it, but I can't get distracted. We're only halfway through the shit-pile, but the worst is probably yet to come. I knew I was ready to forgive him for the lie, but I have no idea what he'll think of me when I tell him about the ugly that's been hiding inside of me. I lean back and holding his hands tightly, feeding on his strength of character to help me get through.

  "I need to tell you something, but before I do, I need you to know I am better now. You don't have to be worried about me. If you no longer want to have anything to do with me, if what I say repulses you, I'll understand. I don't want you to pretend just to avoid sending me into a tailspin. About a year ago, my best friend Alyson was coming home from L.A. with huge news to tell me. I couldn't wait to see her again because I had news of my own. I'd met someone special and wanted her to meet him. She got here early and walked in on me in bed with her fiancé. I had no idea she knew him. She'd never mentioned anything about dating anyone—honestly, I suspected California had released her inner lesbian. He'd managed to play us. He specifically asked me not to mention our relationship because of my family. Turns out, he'd asked the same of Aly. I found all of this out once it was too late. She called me so many horrible things. She never let me explain, assuming I'd done it on purpose. She ran to her car and took off. She never bothered to check to see if there was oncoming traffic. A truck hit her at full speed, and she died on impact. I tried to help her, but it was too late—she was already dead. There was blood everywhere. I never got to tell her he'd lied to me, too. Her last words were to call me a lying, backstabbing whore. And for the longest time, that's how I saw myself.”

  It’s my turn to cry. I bury my face in his shoulder, and the familiar sound of his shushing helps sooth the pain.

  “We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?”

  My eyebrows pinch together. “Are we? A pair, I mean. I’m still madly in love with you. None of this changed that.”

  He tangles his fingers in my hair and smiles. “That’s good to know.”

  I sniff back my runny nose, but don’t bother wiping away my tears. I’m done trying to hide how I feel. Tears are good, even sad ones. I look up at the clock on the wall again. “I have one last question, and then we need to get the hell out of here. Do you and Lori have valid ID to get you through TSA at the airport?”

  He looks at me like I've officially gone insane. “Are you kidnapping us?”

  I shake my head. “There’s no time to explain. We need to collect Lori and stop by your place for your IDs and whatever you’ll need for a short trip.”

  “I can’t leave for a short trip, Kia. I’ll get fired. I only started working there. I don't get time off for another ten months."

  “You won’t get fired. I called in a wealthy chick’s favor with your new boss. You’re good.”

  “Kia, are you feeling okay? You’re sounding a bit off.”

  “Trust me, I’ve never felt better.”

  CHAPTER 35

  The jet lands in Las Vegas a little ahead of schedule. A long, shiny, black limousine waits for us on the tarmac, ready to take us to the hotel. So far, so good. My family hasn’t intercepted us yet. Our driver, dressed in a standard chauffeur's uniform waits by an open door, ushering us into the car.

  Lori squeaks and jumps into the waiting car, her little pink Chucks swallowed by the stretched limousine.

  Graham puts one foot into the car and places a hand on top of the door. He ducks to peek into the car and looks back at me, frowning. "This is too much, Kienna. We could have taken a cab wherever we're going."

  I place both hands on his chest and reach up for a quick kiss. Graham bends down and brushes his lips over mine sweetly. With our lips still touching, I say, "Maybe on our way back home, but for now, this is necessary. I need to trust whoever is driving us to keep our secret." My lips curl into a lascivious smile. "Why don't you pretend you're British Intelligence, and I'm the sexy, bombshell spy you'll be banging later for the sake of a gratuitous sex scene."

  Graham lets out a low growl from his chest and grabs my hips, pulling me closer to him. "Are you for real?" He presses his lips to mine again. I wrap my hands around his neck and pull him closer to me.

  Just as our kiss deepens, feeling the wetness of his tongue stroking my lips, we are interrupted by a little girl's shriek from inside the limo. "OMG! THERE'S A FRIDGE! WITH ROOTBEER!"

  Graham backs away, chuckling. "Life with a kid. I guess I should get in there and make sure she doesn't break anything." Graham shakes his head at Lori's antics. He gives me one last little kiss, then nods to the driver, thanking him before climbing in behind Lori.

  Now that they are both in, anxiety fights to take over. During the flight we were untouchable, but now that we've landed, I need to know if anything has happened. I address the driver nervously. "Any news yet?"

  "Everything is quiet Miss, and I'm doing my best to keep it that way." The driver stands ramrod straight and expressionless, avoiding direct eye contact with the client, the way he is supposed to.

  I place a gentle hand on his shoulder. When he breaks his stoic stance and looks at me, I smile. "Thank you. Your discretion is appreciated, Marc."

  I duck into the limo, joining the two people that complete me. Lori's eyes are wide and full of wonder as she observes the extravagance that is Vegas. She bounces from one end of the limo to the other, pointing and squealing as we pass row after row of casinos. Graham and I sit cuddled together, his arm around my shoulders and my head resting on his chest.

  We get to our hotel and busboys rush to our service, escorting us to our suite, carrying our luggage for us. "Amazeballs! This building isn't a hotel—It's a crystal castle!" Lori darts into our suite and heads straight to the window to take in the view, hands and face pressed against the floor-to-ceiling window.

  When it's just the three of us once more, I take in a couple of moments to appreciate the sight of Graham and Lori, standing side by side at the window, chatting away like they always do, finishing each other's sentences and laughing at secret jokes only they understand.

  I don't want to break the moment,
but I have to. I clear my throat to get their attention and say, "I'll show you to your rooms. You have clothes waiting for you and, Lori, you have your very own assistant to help you look like a princess."

  Lori looks up at Graham in delight and gasps. "Did you hear that? I'm a princess!"

  Graham looks down at her smiling, but then he turns his eyes to me. "Yes, I heard that. Kia, what's going on?"

  "You'll find out soon enough. When everyone is ready, we'll meet back here, in the living room. I have reservations for us, and we need to hurry if we don't want to be late."

  They follow my instructions, each of us going our separate ways to our rooms.

  CHAPTER 36

  I stare at myself one last time in the mirror to make sure everything is perfect before stepping out of my bedroom. Graham is standing by the window, looking dashing, dressed in the jet-black tux I sent to his room. It matches his glasses, as do the onyx cufflinks and black silk tie.

  Lori is sitting cross-legged on one of the chairs, flipping through the pages of a high-end fashion magazine the hotel left on one of the end tables. She looks cute as a button with her hair done up in an intricate up do and her black lace dress. Her dress is a modest version of my own, which is way more risqué. My long sleeves are black lace and show a lot of skin. The very low-cut black lace front dips down almost to my navel and has just enough skin-toned fabric underneath to avoid any unwanted nip-slips. From the waist down, the lace blends with panels of black satin flowing all the way to the ground. I'm wearing dark red lipstick with matching nail polish on my hands and feet. My dark hair is slicked back, and my eyes are made up to perfection with an almost black smoky-eye. I look like my mother’s worst nightmare, yet I feel like I stepped out of a fairytale.

  Lori looks up from her magazine and jumps up from her seat and runs to me, wrapping her arms around me tightly.

  "Kia! You look like a queen! You're so pretty!"

  Holding her hands, I take a step back to have a better look at her. "Thank you. You are very pretty, too, Lori. Do you like your dress?"

  "I love it!" She looks down at her dress, then at mine. "Hey look! We're BFFs!"

  Her words squeeze my heart both painfully and happily. There's room for both. For every rip and tear I feel inside, there's her cute little smile making it feel better. I wish Alyson could be here today, but I have other people surrounding me that love me just as much. Graham walks over to us, looking as handsome as ever. He must have caught onto what Lori just said and how it affected me because he pries her off of me and settles her back down with her magazines, whispering something in her ear. She nods to him, goes back to her reading, and Graham comes back to join me.

  Quietly he says, "You look... wow! How are you holding up?"

  "I'm doing well, actually. I know you feel protective of me, but I'm not going to shatter into a million pieces, not anymore. It's time I put the pieces back together, but, before I do, there's something I need to ask you."

  Lori is engrossed in her reading, not paying attention to us, but I pull Graham farther away to make sure that she can't hear.

  "I need to know how you feel about my family's money. And please, be as brutally honest as you can be."

  "Brutal honesty?" I nod. He shoves his hands in his pockets and shifts his weight from one leg to the next. I knew this would be awkward. "I feel very uncomfortable about it to tell you the truth. The private jet, the limousine, the tux, this suite—this isn't me. I've seen how money, especially old money, turns people into stone." He looks back to his sister and lowers his voice. "I love you, Kia, but I don’t want Lori exposed to everything that comes with that lifestyle."

  "So, hypothetically speaking, if I ended up piss-ass broke, without a penny to my name, your feelings for me would be?"

  "Completely unchanged. Why? Could you please clue me into what's going on? You've been acting strange all day."

  "I'll let you know in a bit. Lori! Come here sweetie! Graham, get down on one knee for me." Lori runs up to my side and takes my hand. Graham looks at me like I've lost my mind. Maybe I have, but if this is what it feels like to be crazy, then I don't ever want to be sane ever again. Graham hesitantly does as I ask him to and drops down to the floor on one knee.

  “Ready to get your mind blown?” I ask.

  “Not really. You’re not planning on, you know..." With his hands, he pretends to remove straps from his shoulders and wiggles his chest. He's referring to the infamous RPG boob flash in Stark's basement. He jabs his thumb toward his sister, a reminder that she’s with us.

  “No, you dork, something even better.”

  I reach into my purse and retrieve a little box. I take one of his hands, pull it out toward me and deposit the box in his palm.

  “Don’t peek. You can't open it yet. Okay." I suck in a deep breath, releasing it slowly. "Graham Cracker Parker, you are my best friend, my superhero and,” I place my hands over Lori’s ears. She squirms, but I manage to keep them covered, “the most tender, loving and passionate lover I've ever had.” I remove my hands from Lori’s ears, and she looks up at me, sticking her tongue out. Graham just looks stunned. “You know me like no one else does. The good, the bad, and the emotionally unstable, yet you still love me. If you feel you can deal with my ups and downs for the rest of our lives, Graham, will you marry me?” I put my hand next to my mouth and whisper loudly, “Now’s the time to open the box.”

  Lori is giddy, clapping her hands and Graham looks so utterly confused as he opens the box. His face goes white when he sees the ring. He seems like he's about to faint. The ring is black gold, shaped like a lotus flower, with a huge turquoise diamond in the center, studded with small white diamonds all around it. I put out my left hand, waiting for him to slip the ring on my finger. Graham breaks out into a grin, and he shakes his head slightly like he can’t believe what’s going on.

  “Kia, besides the fact that you just completely emasculated me by proposing to me instead of the other way around, I would love nothing more than to be your husband. But, there’s one more person in this equation, and I won’t do this if she’s not one hundred percent on board with this.”

  He turns to his sister, a grin still pasted on his face and asks, “Lori? Do you want Kienna to be your sister-in-law? Will you marry us?”

  Lori looks back and forth between Graham and me, no longer smiling. I hoped she’d be ecstatic, jumping up and down like she usually does. Instead, she looks disappointed and sad. Her eyes fill with tears and her bottom lip quivers.

  "No. I don’t want her to be my sister-in-law."

  I take in a sharp breath. I feel sucker punched in the stomach. We both look at Lori, stunned by her answer. In a fraction of an instant, this cute little girl crushes my hopes for a happy future with the man I love. She comes first for Graham, and I won’t do this without her consent. I won’t put him in a position where he has to choose between her and me. I can’t hide my disappointment, but I don’t want to let them know that this decision of hers is breaking my heart.

  I place my hand on the top of Lori’s head and give it a tiny pat.

  “It’s okay, sweetheart. It was just an idea, nothing more. You go back to your reading. I have to make a quick phone call about our dinner reservations, and I’ll be right back.”

  I turn my back to both of them, my heart cracking and crumbling, leaving pieces behind with every click of my heels on the floor. I watch the ground in front of me, seeing my dress swish. It was supposed to be my wedding gown. A black lace wedding gown. Of all the ridiculous ideas! As I leave the room, both Graham and Lori call out my name, but Lori’s is the voice I hear loudest.

  “Kia! Come back! I don't want you to be my sister. I want you to be my mother!”

  I try not to face-plant, but I stop walking so fast I almost trip over my dress. I turn around to face them, and Lori takes off at a run, throwing herself at me, wrapping her tiny little arms around my waist, hugging me tight. If my battered heart was cracking before, it's completely explo
ded inside my chest and replaced by a brand new one. I scoot down until I’m eye level with her and return the hug. I don’t answer, not yet. I look up to Graham for answers. I don’t know what to say. I've grown to love this little girl so much, but I don't want to take her mother’s place. He’s worked so hard making sure her memory is alive and cherished. All the pictures, the prayers at night, the videos on her birthdays. I don’t want him to resent me for this. I hold Lori closer to me, so she doesn't see when I mouth silently to him “I don’t have to.” He walks toward us, mixed emotions in his eyes. I have to give Lori an answer, but I don’t know what to say. I desperately want to say yes, but not if it means breaking Graham's heart. When I stay silent too long, Lori backs out of our embrace and stares at us both.

  “I never had a mom. Graham remembers her, but I don’t. All of my friends have moms—some have two, a mom and a stepmom. Becka even has four!”

  Graham folds his arms across his chest and hovers over us, raising an eyebrow. “Four? How can Becka have four moms?”

  “Well, she started out with two moms, but they got divorced, and then they both remarried. So Becka has two moms and two step-moms. She has four moms when I’ve never had one. I want Kia to be my mom.”

  I look up to Graham, still unsure of how I should handle the situation. His eyes are glassy and his arms still folded tightly over his chest. I get up from my crouched position and lean in to whisper in his ear. “I understand if this is a line you don’t want to cross. I don't want to take Elise's place."

  "You won't be taking my mother's place and Lori's right. She needs a mother, and I need you. I know you’ll be an excellent mother to my sister."

  "Ew! Don't say it like that. It sounds creepy. I’ll be married to my daughter’s brother. Would that mean I'm marrying my stepson?"