Broken Destiny

by Serena Lindahl

  Kodi flies back, just as surprised as me. He lands soundlessly on the floor of my apartment but gets up as if nothing happened. “What happened just now? Where were you?” He narrows his eyes, and I realize I’m sitting there in nothing but my panties and t-shirt. It isn’t the first time he’s seen me undressed, but I remember berating him the last time he popped in on me half-naked.

  “Damn it, Boo, can’t you knock or something?” I complain as I pull the blankets over my thighs and try to control my racing heartbeat.

  “Um, not really.” Kodi’s lips tilt, but it’s a bitter smile as he holds out his hands. He looks more drawn today, not as solid as he appeared yesterday.

  “What happened?” All interest in my modesty flees as I note the lines that shouldn’t be etched on his face. He hasn’t changed in the seven years since I first glimpsed his ghostly form. Yet today, he looks older.

  He shakes his head. “I asked first. Where the hell were you? It’s like you weren’t even in your body.”

  I shrug a shoulder. “I wasn’t, not really. I was in the library. Well, in her walls. I’ve become the new librarian.”

  “I know. It’s all anyone can talk about, how an Abram has returned to watch over the library. I’m proud of you, Zo, and not surprised at all. I knew yesterday when you told me that it would happen.”

  He sits beside me on the bed, the blankets not even wrinkling beneath him. I frown and poke him again, but he doesn’t react to my touch. He feels like he isn’t there anymore, although I can clearly see the silver collar glowing around his neck. I pick up the salve to hide the anxious shaking of my hands. Something is wrong, and I don’t like it.

  “Tell me what’s going on, Kodi,” I demand, my voice stronger than it’s ever sounded, besides earlier when I threw the beastmaster out on his ass.

  My friend laughs once, abruptly and bitterly. “I guess ghosts have life left in them, life that can be drained out of them.”

  “What?” The word screeches from me, and Kodi winces even though he doesn’t have eardrums for me to break.

  He shrugs as if it doesn’t matter. “They’re draining me, Zo. Evidently, this after-death life energy is special in some way. They do it to all the ghosts they encounter and manage to trap. They say we’re not supposed to be here anyway, that we have no rights because we’re not living. Once they’re done, I’ll be free.”

  “Oh, no,” I say. “No, no, no, no, no…” I continue, my voice rising in pitch. Before I can say anything else, someone knocks on my door. A quick check with my inner awareness tells me who it is even as the ghost glances at me with one eyebrow raised.

  “Are you alright? You seem distressed.” Avery’s voice floats through the door, and Kodi’s jaw tightens.

  “Who is that?”

  “That’s my first guardian,” I answer distractedly. “Come in!” I call out as I rearrange the blankets again, even though Avery can see less than Kodi. The vampire opens the door in the next second, and I’m relieved to see Duggar behind him.

  “Good. Duggar, we’re going to need that book.” The male goblin glances at Kodi and then back at me. The expression on his face makes my heart sink into my stomach.

  “He’s tethered, miss,” Duggar begins hesitantly. “I don’t know if we can break that bond.”

  “It will be broken!” I hiss. My hand forms a fist and slams down upon the blankets ineffectually. My legs twitch with energy. I want to pace, but in my agitation I’d just fall on my face.

  “What’s going on?” Kodi demands. His eyes fly wildly from me to the vampire to the little library goblin. Avery, for his part, merely stares at the wispy figure beside me, and I wonder what he sees.

  “Is this your ghost?” Avery asks me, ignoring Kodi’s question. “He’s barely there.”

  “They’re draining him,” I wail dramatically. I might be overreacting, but it’s my fucking fault he’s here. It’s my fault they’re killing him…again.

  “You told them about me?” Kodi asks, and I can’t identify the emotion behind his voice. Is he surprised, angry, pleased? “Who is he? What is that?” He points a white finger at the goblin, who merely stares at him without any emotion, but his wings twitch. I move to push the ghost’s hand down to stop the rude finger-pointing, but my hand doesn’t touch anything. The cold sensation that shivers through my skin is final, like death, but I refuse to let it play out like that.

  “Avery, have a seat, please.” There’s a small table where I can eat meals at, presumably, and Avery finds a seat without fail, only causing more confusion in Kodi’s expression.

  “Are you blind? No, wait, are you a vampire?” He hisses the last word. I frown at him.

  “Kodi, please, shut up before you embarrass yourself.” I sigh and pass my hands over my face, wishing I’d eaten more food earlier in the day. I’m suddenly hungry, and I could use the distraction. No sooner do I think it than food appears on the nightstand next to the bed and the table where Avery sits. He makes a small sound of surprise but otherwise doesn’t react, unlike my undignified squeal. Kodi’s lips twitch. It makes me happy to know he still has enough energy to laugh at me. I stuff a couple grapes in my mouth while staring at the collar around my friend’s neck.

  “What’s going on, Zo?”

  I swallow quickly. “So, I’m the new librarian, you know that already. I can pick four guardians to watch over the library and me. I want you as one of my guardians, Kodi. I have since they first told me I have an ounce of influence. If you don’t want the position, that’s fine, but I won’t let you stay where you are. They can’t drain you like some battery. It’s inhumane, and I don’t give a shit whether you’re not human or you don’t have any supposed rights. It’s wrong.”

  Kodi snorts. The sound is so full of derision that it reminds me of myself and Avery when I asked him the same. “I’d make a piss-poor guard, Zo, and you know it. Besides, I don’t think you have the authority to overturn this one. That little guy there said I was tethered.” His tone is harsh and resigned, and I wish he were solid enough to smack.

  I growl; it sounds surprisingly leonine and inhuman, making me falter for a second. Both men stare curiously, but I shake off the strangeness. I’ll evaluate it later. “Don’t give me that, Boo. Who guarded me at the orphanage? I would have been raped and beaten ten times over if you hadn’t scared away every asshole over fifteen.” I shiver in remembrance. Avery’s hands clench on his lap, but Kodi just blinks. I square my shoulders. “I have the authority. I stole Avery from his master.” I make air quotes with my fingers to show how I feel about that word. I look at Duggar. “What about this tether?”

  The goblin hoists his compact body into the chair next to Avery. He nibbles at a block of cheese and points at Kodi with his empty hand. “It’s the collar around his neck, which I’m sure you’ve surmised. It’s stronger than a simple paper contract, which is what Avery had with his previous boss. It has magic in it you’ll have to overcome.”

  “But it’s possible.” I latch onto the slim hope.

  Duggar shrugs. “Yes? I don’t know. It’s never been done before. How do you propose to manipulate something you can’t touch?” He isn’t questioning my strength. The goblin’s tone reminds me of a schoolteacher’s; it’s a challenge. He may not know whether it’s possible, but he wants me to try.

  I think hard, flipping through the information I have in my brain. How did my tormentor manipulate my magic or my wings if they hadn’t appeared or evolved yet? How did the old man put the collar on Kodi in the first place?

  “Avery, you deal with the undead. Do you know anything about this?”

  The vampire shakes his head slowly, his eyes sad. “I’m sorry, Zosia. I’ve never encountered anything like this before. Your friend’s signature is almost gone. It’s like he’s fading from this world even as we speak.”

  “No,” I growl again, and my back itches in irritation. I reach toward the ghost, hoping that sheer force of will allows me to touch him. He doesn’t shy away from me
this time, but his head hangs low. He doesn’t believe I can do it; his doubt hurts and fractures my resolve.

  “Kodi, you have to want to be my guardian,” I murmur, lowering my voice and my hands.

  He glances at me. I swear I can see a glint of tears in his beautiful gray eyes, so different yet so alike to Avery’s. There’s a brief flash of blue, even though I swore it was green last time, and I regain my determination.

  “Of course, I want to. It’s all I’ve ever wanted in this afterlife, to protect you.” Another flash of color suffuses his skin, and Avery gasps. I don’t have to ask to know that Kodi’s form is pulsing with power. I reach for him again, this time forcing my will into my hands. I close my eyes, convinced that my sight is furthering the illusion of nothingness.

  The first time, my hands encounter nothing. Cold static shivers along my flesh but nothing else. With a grunt, I try again. I meet the soft elasticity I felt the first time I poked him in the car. He belongs with me, I implore the library. He belongs with us. I need him. I never knew how important he was to me until my life changed. I can’t imagine him anywhere but alongside me.

  I open my eyes with an irritated huff, twisting on the bed and rising to my knees. It’s not comfortable for me to kneel, but it offers me a better reach. Kodi’s eyes widen as his eyes flicker down to my waist. I know I’m revealing the delicate, silky panties that the library provided, but it doesn’t matter. One is blind, one is married and not my species, and one is a ghost who can’t touch me. My modesty means nothing compared to what I’m about to do.

  A flash of color springs into Kodi’s cheeks and my own face blazes - but not with embarrassment, with determination. “Hold onto that emotion,” I order. “It makes you more real. It gives you color.”

  “Zo,” Kodi sighs and his eyes fall again. “It’s ok. I’ll fade away, and you’ll never have to deal with me again. I’ll be at peace.”

  I stare at him, capturing his colorless gaze. “Is that what you want?” I demand the truth. “Don’t think about what you think is better for me. What do you want?”

  “I want to stay,” he whispers.

  I nod. “Then hold on to that emotion, whatever it is you’re feeling. Believe in me.” His eyes flicker again and trail over my body. If he were alive, I’d say that emotion was near to desire, to longing. He shouldn’t possess those earthly needs, but it makes no difference. Just as long as he’s feeling something, I instinctively know I have a chance to help him.

  I don’t close my eyes this time. I reach directly toward that glittering silver band. I want him here. I beg the library. He’s my guardian. I repeat the mantra soundlessly over and over. My fingers graze against metal, cold and writhing like a living being. I almost recoil when it shocks me, but I force myself to grasp onto the wrongness. Another growl rips from my throat. My fingers change before my eyes, lengthening and forming claws that look more like talons. They’re not really lion-like, but I’ve never seen a lion in person, so I don’t know. Also, nothing about a sphinx follows the customary rules of shifters or beasts.

  I curl my lengthened fingers around the band, tugging on it with all my might. It refuses to budge, even though it seems like it’s wrapped around nothing. I can’t really feel Kodi underneath, just the static charge that seems to accompany him, like he’s nothing more than a mass of vibrating atoms. I guess that’s all any of us are, but he’s in the rawest state.

  My gasp fills the tension in the room. “Kodi,” I whisper. “Flow through it while I’m holding it - like you do a wall. Float through it like it’s a barrier.” He starts to object, but I growl again. “Do you want to stay or not?” I demand harshly, and he bares his teeth back at me. I feel him trying to move under the collar, his energy buzzing louder and more frenetically.

  “Try harder,” I command through clenched teeth as the collar tries to slip from my grip and move with him. My fingers burn from holding onto the biting cold metal, but I don’t let go. I won’t let him go.

  Suddenly, with a pop, he zips across the room, hovering through the air, and the collar is in my hands. I throw it to the ground, cradling my aching fingers to my chest. The unnatural tether sinks into the wood grain of the library floor, fading into nothingness as the library absorbs its magic.

  “I’m free!” the ghost crows as he hovers near the ceiling, and I waver as a surge of dizziness smashes into me. Avery flies across the room in a snap, his arms gently lowering me to the softness of the bed I haven’t slept in yet. Kodi glides back to me, his face mere inches from mine.

  “Zo? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Anger rings through his voice, and I know why. He’s mad that he still can’t touch me even though he’s free.

  The desire to sleep pulls at me, but I can’t surrender yet. “The book,” I whisper. Duggar somehow hears. The massive book lands with a thump next to me. I can’t read the print because my eyes are blurring, but there are only a couple sentences, whereas Avery and I both had a page or more of a contract. Kodi glances at the page, looks at the goblin, and shared understanding passes between them. My friend nods once and Duggar hands him the pen. I force myself to remain conscious, watching with fascinated horror and hope as the ghost manipulates the pen with no issues. He plunges the tip of the peculiar writing utensil into his arm and presses it to the page. There’s no blood. His signature glows silver upon the page; it’s the essence of whatever makes him visible to me and a few others.

  As soon as the last letter is drawn and the link snaps into place in my chest, I submit to the darkness.

  Chapter Ten

  Avery

  The woman I’ve known for mere hours collapses in my arms, and I study her aura. She’s only sleeping, exhausted from whatever magical feat she just performed, but I’m still worried she’s not well. The smudgy blue color I associate with the magical goblins wavers closer to her subdued amber, and he confirms my assumptions.

  “She’ll need some rest. That was difficult for her.”

  I squint as if that will help me discern the inanimate energies of the blankets. I can’t tell if she’s covered or not, but the blue smudge does something. I assume he’s taking care of the needs that I can’t fully attend to. How she thought I’d be suitable for this role is beyond me, but I endeavor to be the best guard for her. That duty at the moment includes my new fellow guardian, a ghost.

  His silvery-white aura isn’t as dull as it was before Zosia snatched the gleaming piece of magic from around his neck, but it’s still not as stable as a live person’s, or even the goblins’. I look back down at the glowing woman in my arms, wanting to trail my fingers across her face to learn her features, but it seems creepy to do so while she’s sleeping. A cleared throat also reminds me I have an audience. I rise slowly from beside her on the bed, facing the new guardian.

  “You’re feeling better?” I assume he floats because his aura hovers several feet off the ground. I follow him and the goblin from Zosia’s private apartment, reluctantly leaving her behind to rest. The brighter blue of the female pops in as we exit and my shoulders relax. She won’t be alone. Her scent still clings to me: the smell of books, strawberries, and shifter magic. The power has a distinct odor, musky and wild regardless of the supernatural’s beast form.

  When we re-enter the main library, I’m again reminded that my life has changed. I’m no longer subject to the whims of my cruel, petty master. I’m free. This building is magical. The beauty of its essence pours and flows through everything that ever had a spark of life at one point. All the wood glows, making it appear as if I’m walking through a starry landscape. Even the floor beneath me hums with residual magic. I’ve always loved the library because of its quiet, sentient power; now I get to live and work here. I owe that extraordinary woman everything and resolve to prove myself worthy.

  “I feel just as I did before we came to this place,” the ghost, Kodi, grumps. His voice is wistful. I hate to compare, but I wonder who has it worse. The man who can’t see the woman he wants to get to know bett
er with every fiber of his being? Or the one who can’t touch her? If I weren’t one of those men, I might find it funny. A momentary pause stretches between us. Kodi hovers near one of the tables in the front of the library. “Avery, right?”

  I bow, falling back on the manners that were drilled rather forcefully into my head my entire childhood. “Avery duClair, fellow library guardian, at your service.”

  The wispy essence studies me, and I let him. If we’re going to serve the same woman, we need to form a truce. “You’re a blind, born vampire,” he states blandly. I don’t know if it’s because he’s a ghost that makes him what others might consider rude, but I find his directness as refreshing as Zosia’s. I nod, pushing back my hair where it’s come free from the braid. I can’t see it, but I love the feel of it, and many women have complimented me on its color. I wonder what color Zosia’s hair is. Is it the same golden as her aura or tawnier like a lion’s mane?

  “I am. And you’re a ghost. How long have you been a ghost?”

  A shiver in his aura indicates a small gesture, perhaps a shrug. “I don’t remember anything before I met Zo at the orphanage. It’s like my life began the moment I met her.” His voice trails off. I imagine if he were flesh, he might be blushing. “That sounds really corny,” he finishes, and I share a small chuckle with him.

  “Maybe, but I know what you mean. I was raised to be a slave and have been my whole life, until earlier today when she pulled me from under my master’s nose with a simple word.”

  “So she chose you the moment you walked through that door?” Kodi asks curiously.

  I shrug. “I’m assuming so.”

  Duggar snorts, a strange animalistic noise. I arch an eyebrow in question. His aura stops at my waist, and I assume that’s where his head is. So far, I haven’t met any creatures whose visible energy doesn’t encompass their whole body. Also, his voice and breathing originate from below me, confirming my suspicions.