Broken Destiny

by Serena Lindahl

  “The library chose you both or neither of you would have been able to enter until it reopened. The more time the librarian spends within these walls, their wishes become one and the same.”

  “No offense, but how are a blind vampire and a ghost supposed to guard a building this important?”

  I share Kodi’s worries, but Zosia has faith in me. If I don’t share the same faith, I mock her wisdom and wishes.

  “They know what they’re doing,” Duggar answers without a shred of worry in his voice. “And you are here to guard the librarian. You know that from the contract you just signed.”

  My hands shake slightly as I slip into the chair. Although I love the new apartment I’ve been assigned, I don’t want to be alone right now. If Kodi’s hovering is any indication, he feels the same. The sleeping woman in the other room remains brighter in my awareness than any other living being, or dead, I amend for the ghost’s sake. I know the magic ties us together, and Duggar’s words remind me of the contract I signed with my own blood.

  “That contract said I am to be available for all of Zosia’s needs,” I begin tentatively.

  “Entering into the library’s employ should not be taken lightly,” Duggar begins, and I imagine he’s repeating a speech he’s recited before. “The goblins have served the librarians for centuries, and we’ve seen similar events happen over and over. First of all, only women can be librarians. Not everyone knows this, but there are no male sphinxes. When female sphinx bear children, their first is always female and always a sphinx. They might have more children after that, but they’ll likely take after their father. There can’t be too many sphinxes in the world at the same time. For this reason, they often form their own pride made up of different supernaturals. They’re drawn to many kinds of magic because it fuels their desire for knowledge.”

  “What about the library in China? Isn’t there another one like this?” Kodi asks eagerly. I’d heard the rumors as well but wasn’t sure how many were correct. The secrets of the library are not just hidden within. It’s a mystery in the supernatural world where so many things are unknown.

  “There is. Our sister location is ruled by a book dragon, not a sphinx.”

  Shocked silence echoes between Kodi’s nonexistent form and my own. If it weren’t for the strange, wispy nature of his energy, I might consider him a normal being. Now that Zosia has removed his tether, his aura is not lesser because he’s a ghost. To my strange and limited sight, he appears as real to me as the goblins.

  “A book dragon,” the ghost echoes.

  Duggar chuckles. It’s an earthy sound, like rocks rubbing together. I don’t know what he looks like, but he flew up the stairs beside me, so I know he has wings. I am curious as to whether our librarian can shift, but I haven’t sensed her aura expanding in the customary way of shifters when they switch forms. She’s one of the few beings who will still retain her human voice in beast form.

  “Yes, of course. Book dragons are similar to their Western cousins, except that they hoard books. And are quite possessive of them, of course.”

  “And the needs we must fulfill?” I press. The words have been echoing in the back of my mind since my fingers trailed over the dots on the page.

  “Anything that the librarian needs, she should attempt to get from her guardians first,” Duggar says slowly, leaving no doubt in my mind that I wasn’t mistaken about the hidden meaning behind the words. “Looking for lovers outside the library could be dangerous for her, or for you.” I shift in my seat as I sense his stare directed fully upon me, but I hold up my hands in surrender. I might seek out a woman from time to time. More often, they seek me out and I comply if I’m interested, but the scent of this particular woman is all that entices me at the moment. I don’t know when or if that will change. Vampires don’t have fated mates, but I realized long ago that standard vampire regulations don’t apply to my existence. Born vampires are meant to break the rules.

  Kodi snorts, a strange sound that has no air behind it, but I’m used to it because turned vampires don’t breathe or have blood running through their veins. “You don’t have to worry about that for me. It’s not like I can touch anyone else.”

  “Can every supernatural see you?” I ask hesitantly, fully aware of how rude my question is.

  “No, actually, which is surprising. With that damned magical collar that the Master of the House of Others put upon me, they could. Without it, I am just as invisible as I was before.”

  My lips quirk. “That will come in handy when you are guarding. Often the unseen is the most frightening.” My words remind me of Zosia’s while we were in her room. “You have protected her before?”

  “I have,” Kodi answers after a shiver which might have been a nod that he amended when he realized I couldn’t see it. “From the moment she first indicated she could see me, I’ve felt that it’s my duty. She brought me here, and I don’t blame her for that. I’d have been lost without her.” He trails off like he hadn’t meant to be so forthcoming, but I’m not one of those men who will make him feel sorry for displaying emotions. He seems young, and I wonder when he died. Asking that question would be undeniably rude, though.

  “She needs you,” I say simply and pause. “What does she look like?” The breath catches in my throat. Usually, scent, sound, and the impression of an aura are enough until I can feel a female’s softness under my hands, but I find myself needing to picture the image of this particular woman in my mind.

  “What does she feel like?” Kodi retorts.

  I nod my head in reply. Turnabout is fair play, and again I wonder who struggles with the most significant disadvantage. I’ve decided it must be him. I would go insane being able to see her but unable to touch. She has considerable power within her. It’s evident in the tone of her voice and the strength of her convictions. I wish she could see that same strength. Whoever filled her with such horrible insecurities needs to be taught a lesson.

  Duggar moves away, allowing us some privacy, but my cheeks still burn with heat. It feels wrong to discuss her like this, but I can’t deny my curiosity or Kodi’s longing. “She’s warm, but I’ve only touched her for a moment. Her skin is soft, her hair even softer. She smells like a shifter, wild power with a touch of strawberries and books.”

  There’s a smile in the ghost’s voice when he responds. “She’s always reading. Even before she came here, she would hide books under her bed at the orphanage. She reads so fast that she can finish a full-length novel in an hour or two. She could never find enough books.” He chuckles, and his voice moves with him as I imagine him looking around the library. “She won’t have that problem here. This is heaven for her, I believe. No wonder she belongs here.” He pauses, and I’m worried he’s not going to answer my specific question until he does. “What does she look like? She’s beautiful. She glows with inner strength. Her eyes are the lightest blue with dark flecks of gold and her hair is golden brown like the color of a lion’s mane. I can’t wait to see her shift. I’m sure it will be magnificent.”

  “And her ability to walk?” I ask softly. This question isn’t about her appearance; it’s crucial information if I’m to guard her. Maybe Kodi senses that because he doesn’t fault me for asking.

  “Her legs were broken as a kid. They healed improperly. She can’t stand or walk without the forearm crutches. She also can’t sit for extended periods because the long bone in her right thigh healed crookedly. She alternates between the chair and crutches, depending on her levels of pain and fatigue. There are scars upon her back, great jagged lines. It looks like someone tried to cut out her wings.” His voice trembles with anger and empathetic pain. A growl rises in me completely unbidden. My gums ache as my teeth lengthen, and I’m certain my eyes flash red as I’ve been told they do when my passions are aroused.

  “Do you know if that person has paid for their crime?” I ask when I regain enough control to form the words.

  “I don’t know. She doesn’t remember much, but I’m as
suming it’s a psychological defense mechanism. Ansel knows more.”

  “Then I shall ask,” I respond with a firm nod. I need to be informed of any threats so that I may better defend her.

  “Will there be more guards?” Kodi asks.

  “Two more,” I respond, relaying what the male goblin told me. That’s also an unknown threat, and I wonder if Kodi feels the same. I trust the library to only provide Zosia with trustworthy guards, but men are fickle creatures no matter the race. The bright presence in the other room stirs, and Kodi’s aura jerks.

  “I’ll go see if she’s awake.”

  I’m almost jealous that he can safeguard her in a way I can’t…yet. Soon, maybe she’ll trust me enough that I can stay and feel her sleeping breath next to me.

  “Watch over her?” I ask as the ghost floats away.

  “Always.” He whispers the word, but my vampire hearing catches it, and I nod in satisfaction. I have no desire to return to my lonely apartment, but she’s safe for now. Hopefully, each of her guardians will be as attentive as Kodi. We shall know tomorrow. Now that she’s coming into her power, I have a feeling Zosia will draw the men toward her swiftly.

  Chapter Eleven

  Zosia

  Kodi floats into the room the moment I awaken, and I’m overjoyed to see that he looks less weary than before. Another thing worries me, though.

  “Are you mad at me?” I ask quietly after I take a sip of the water Gilly left for me. She disappeared when the ghost returned.

  His gray eyebrows rise. “Why would I be mad at you?”

  I shrug and wince when my back protests. My spine has been aching since I touched the magical collar. “I essentially traded you from one form of slavery into another.”

  “Not true,” Kodi says as he sits down next to me on the bed. He’s not any more solid than he was at the orphanage, but it seems like he retained a little of the ability to manipulate the living world. Now, he doesn’t fall through the bed. “You gave me a choice. I didn’t have to sign the book.”

  I peer at him from behind the russet-colored hair that has escaped its braid. “Why did you?”

  “Because it felt right. I’m not ready to move on yet. I have unfinished business here, even if I don’t know what it is. But beyond that, I feel like part of my purpose in this afterlife is to protect you. I may be a spirit for that reason alone.”

  I stare at him a second, surprised by his sincerity when all I usually get from him is sarcasm and jokes. A relieved breath leaves me. “I can’t imagine being here without you,” I admit nervously. To hide my face, I sit up and move the blankets aside that someone pulled over me.

  I can sense Avery’s radiant energy in the main library. I can smell him, that fresh scent like moonlight and night-blooming flowers, even though there are several closed doors between us. My fingers still ache from holding the raw magic, but they appear human again. I stare at them as if they no longer belong to my body.

  “They want me to shift,” I say quietly as I arrange the blankets over my upper thighs and pick up the ointment again. I attend to my left leg, having only partially completed my right when I was distracted. The salve is magical, and I remind myself to thank Ansel. I owe that man much and wonder what he’ll ask in return. “It’s part of the conditions of my employment.”

  “You can do it, Zo. I saw your fingers when you took hold of that horrible tether. It’s just a matter of time.”

  I shiver, peeking at my friend from the corner of my eye. He’s staring at my hands as they rub the salve into my knotted, aching leg muscles. I’ve never been ashamed of my deformities around Kodi, but the twisted curvature of my thigh and the inward bend of my calf and ankle must look horrible to his eyes.

  “I’ll have to remember.” I nearly choke on the words. “That’s the block. I have to remember before I can shift.”

  Kodi’s hand hovers over mine like he wants to touch me, and I meet his gaze. His eyes are fervent, silvery-gray with whatever substance keeps him visible to me and a few others. I want to know what color they really are; the subtle flashes of blue and green only made me more curious. Are they one or the other? A mixture of both?

  "You are the strongest person I’ve ever met, Zo, and you’ve grown even more in the short time we’ve been here. You can do it.” His lips jerk into that crooked grin I know so well. “I can’t wait to see your sphinx form. You’re going to be so badass.”

  A laugh bubbles out of me as I finish rubbing the salve in. “Not a wolf, or a dragon, or even a griffin. Half lioness, half woman. How does that even happen?” My face twists as a particularly unsettling image assaults my mind. “Never mind. I don’t want to know.”

  Kodi laughs, and it’s again the free noise that I loved hearing after he pranked the kids at the orphanage. I’m sure I’ll face repercussions from taking off his collar, but I’ll never regret it. “Yeah, let’s not think about that. I think sphinxes are badass. Unlike a wolf or a dragon, you’ll still be able to speak and communicate. And you’ll have wings.”

  My smile falters. “What if he messed up my wings? I’m sure that was part of his intent. What if they’re fucked like my legs? Duggar says that even in my sphinx form, my legs will probably still be bent.” I don’t have to specify who he is. One thing is certain despite my lack of memories - it was a man, or men, that held me captive.

  “Your wings will be beautiful, Zo,” Kodi assures me. He looks at my shoulders like he can picture them rising from my back.

  I nod just to make him happy, but it turns into a yawn. I stretch my arms wide. “I’ve done more today than I have in a week, maybe in years.” My gaze flits around the room. Even though I can sense the library and my two guards, the apartment is so much bigger than my little closet. I twist my hair nervously. “Will you stay with me tonight?”

  Kodi nods and shifts so that his back is resting against the headboard. The huge mattress could still fit three other men, and my cheeks flush red with the sudden thought. The ghost seems to notice the size of the bed at the same time.

  “Why is your bed so big?”

  I shrug and clear my throat. “Gilly says it’s in case I want to sleep in my sphinx form.”

  “Right,” Kodi mutters, but it doesn’t sound like he believes that. He crosses his arms over his chest and doesn’t say anything else, though.

  “You can leave after I fall asleep.” I quickly change the subject. “I know you don’t sleep, so it will probably be boring. Just stay with me until I fall asleep?” It isn’t the first time I’ve asked him, but I’m still getting used to him sitting in my actual bed and not hovering in the corner of the ceiling like the specter he is.

  “I’ll be here,” he answers gruffly. Content in his presence, I lay down next to him. Since he isn’t corporeal, I lie as close to him as I can without his cold static prickling my skin. He might only be there in a non-physical sense, but his presence lulls me to sleep nevertheless.

  When I wake, it’s to the feel of something warm next to me. I edge closer to that warmth, moaning in satisfied contentment before the weirdness penetrates my sleep-addled brain. My eyes fly open.

  Kodi is solid! His hair is reddish-blond, shaggy and wavy. His skin is really pale and dotted with freckles, but it’s so much different than his usual ghostly gray. His eyes are closed, and his chest is moving up and down like he’s breathing.

  I reach tentatively toward his chest, wanting to know if he’s actually breathing. Am I dreaming or did the library’s magic turn him solid overnight? My hand meets warm, living flesh. I spread my fingers across his hard chest in astonished curiosity. Elation starts to flood through me when his eyes fly open. I catch a startling glimpse of bluish-green like the brightest Caribbean Sea before everything fades back to monotone and he zips away from me with a sound of surprise. The sensation of his ghostly energy trickling through my fingers immediately chills the brief warmth.

  “What the fuck?” he sputters. “Was I sleeping? I don’t remember. I was just sitting nex
t to you while you slept. I don’t remember what happened next. And then I felt… I felt something.”

  I stare at him, my eyes wide. “You were solid. I thought you were breathing. I could see the color of your hair and your eyes.”

  “What? What color?”

  I describe his appearance in detail, finding the usual gray, white, and black tones of his form inordinately disappointing after the flash of vibrant color. Kodi floats back down, his expression alight with excitement.

  “Touch me. Maybe it’s you.”

  I reach for him eagerly, but all I feel is the usual static buzz. My hand strokes over the outline of his forearm and our faces fall at the same time.

  Kodi retreats slowly, the devastation on his face ripping my heart in two. “It must have been a fluke,” he grumps before he floats through the wall and leaves me alone.

  I stare after him, my chest aching with sadness. What’s worse? Coming to terms with the ghostliness or getting just a tease and never knowing whether it will happen again?

  Chapter Twelve

  Garrett

  Finally. I glare at the imposing Woodfern Hall as the limousine comes to a stop in front of it. Students getting ready to start classes for the term stop and gawk. I want them to look. We’re flaunting Daddy’s money, and I want the other students to know it. The more sycophants we gather, the more clout we have behind us.

  I glance over at Bren, who isn’t paying any attention to his surroundings. He has a complicated puzzle book in his lap, and I can’t make heads or tails of the numbers and letters he’s scrawled all over the page, ignoring the actual puzzle. At least, that’s what it looks like to me. Bren is a genius. He’s also the reason I’m five years late to enter the academy. I nudge him in the arm, softly. Bren doesn’t like rough play or touches. It’s only one of the many reasons I couldn’t leave him with our dad. I wait several minutes for him to acknowledge me. Even when he looks up, his mind is still calculating something unknown behind his eyes.