Collateral Damage (From the Damage)

by Jasmine Denton

  He shifted away from her, his face filling with emotion she couldn’t read. And all she could think was…he looked so tortured, and so scary at the same time.

  “Whether you believe it or not,” she said, “there’s still hope for you.”

  “What makes you so sure?”

  “I don’t know,” she exclaimed. “But it’s true. Somehow, I know it’s true.”

  “You know nothing,” he said, shaking his head like she was naïve and beneath him, like her sympathy for him made her pathetic. “I’m a bad guy. It’s that simple.”

  She shook her head in denial. “You can choose to be good. Choose to change. Those voices in your head saying there’s nothing pure or clean left in you, saying that you’re a horrible person…I know what those are. I hear them all the time. And they’re wrong, Seth.”

  “You don’t know—”

  “Yes, I—”

  “Kendall, I killed somebody,” he exclaimed, grabbing her arms and yanking her close to him. Angry, needing her to be silenced, he stared down at her, clutching her tight. Braced and afraid, she peered into his eyes, seeing the pain in them, the torture and the shame. But there was no sign of hope and she wondered if he was right, if he was too far gone and she was just too crazy and screwed up to realize it. When he spoke again, his voice was low and clipped, “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  Stopping on the sidewalk in front of his house, she was stuck somewhere between running away from him and pretending she’d never heard what he said. “What do you mean you killed someone?”

  He let her go and stepped back. “You really want to know?”

  She nodded slowly.

  “We didn’t just escape like I told you,” he said. “We tried. But that…freak caught us.” He spoke quietly, the numb and distant look in his eyes growing more prominent with every word. “It was late, so he was really drunk. Somehow, it made him even scarier. He had a gun and he said we were too much trouble; he’d just kill us and find someone else. And I didn’t give a damn, I was ready to die.” He stepped back again, putting some space between them. “But then I saw you. You were shaking, and crying and all I could think was…it was my fault you were there. You’d have been safe, at home with your family if I had just told him you didn’t take the bait. I didn’t have to lure you away, but I did…and now he was going to kill you.”

  His words trailed off into a heavy silence that stretched on, and on, and on, leaving her hanging on every breath, every shift of his eyes, searching for some clue about what he would do next.

  And then the memory started coming back, creeping up on her out of the darkest places of her mind. She could smell the wet, moldy odor in the dark and dingy basement, hear the steady, drip, drip, drip from a faucet or pipe located somewhere in the shadows. And the gun glinted in the flickering light from a bulb swinging back and forth, casting a dull circle of light around Seth, Kendall and their captor.

  The man moved forward with ruthless determination, no remorse on his face. Vicious eyes narrowed on the boy, as he pressed the barrel of the gun against Seth’s forehead. “Who do you think should go first?” the man asked, his voice taunting. “You? Or her?”

  Watching in terror, Kendall backed up a step, prompting the man to glare at her. “Don’t move!”

  With the kidnapper’s attention on Kendall, Seth grabbed the hand that held the gun and clamped his teeth down hard on the side of it, just below the pinky. The gun fired with a quick flash and a loud pop, making her ears ring. The bullet landed in the floor, burrowing itself into the cement inches away from Kendall’s feet.

  All she could hear was that ringing sound in her ears, a high pitched shriek that drowned out the sounds of curses and struggle. Finally, the kidnapper dropped the gun and punched Seth in the side of the head, the sound echoing off the cold walls. The boy’s body went slack as he fell to the floor, landing face first.

  And he didn’t get up.

  Her throat choked back a scream of complete terror as she realized she might be alone with the predator, that Seth might be dead.

  Holding his wounded hand, the man nudged Seth with his toe, but the boy still didn’t move. Kneeling down, he turned Seth over. And a final gunshot rang out, so much louder than before, so unexpected that Kendall lost it and started screaming at the top of her lungs. Standing as still as she could, unable to move, her eyes shut tight, she screamed and cried.

  When she finally had the courage to open her eyes, she saw their captor fell to the ground, a hole in his chest pumping out blood. Her scream suddenly silenced when Seth stood, slowly, his face locked on the dying man. His hands trembled and the gun fell from them. He jumped, like it might fire again, but the only sound was a ‘cling’ as metal and pavement collided. And when he turned to look at her, she couldn’t recognize him. The vacant look in his eyes scared her; they looked as empty and glassy as the corpse at his feet, and they just stared, aimlessly, like he had a million thoughts rushing through his head and couldn’t focus on a single one.

  Letting out a sob of relief, gratitude and pity, she stumbled forward and pulled him into a hug, gripping him as tight as she could, so thankful that he’d saved her. But he just stood still while she held him, so quiet and unresponsive that she’d wondered if he was traumatized for life.

  Years later, she realized he was. Standing in front of him on the deserted sidewalk, with the dark night sky looming above and the moon covered with thick clouds, she stared at him in complete awe, bewilderment and confliction. “I remember.”

  He looked over at her, looking much like he did that night, with the numb look of shattered innocence and disgust.

  Her voice was hoarse from unshed tears as she whispered, “You’re the one who saved me.”

  Tears made his eyes shine, but they didn’t fall as he gazed over at her, fighting to keep the emotions hidden. Fighting to pretend he was bad and liked it that way, but in his eyes, she could see the conflict he felt. He ducked his head, looking at the sidewalk, and gently cleared his throat. Opening his mouth, he started to say something, but stopped. He did this two more times before he finally spoke in a trembling, bitter voice, “What a great job I did. You seem so saved.”

  She swallowed hard, flinching inside from the sharp lash of his words.

  Behind him, she saw Kelly sneak over to her car, parked down the sidewalk a bit. Then Kendall remembered that this entire conversation had been a set up, she didn’t truly believe in him and was just trying to keep him occupied. Now that he’d opened up to her, she felt beyond guilty. She was the lowest of the low, she was certain.

  Stepping forward, she reached out to touch him. “Seth…”

  He recoiled, swatting her hand away and backing up a step. “Don’t,” he said. “Don’t touch me.”

  “Seth,” she repeated softly, hoping to break through his defenses and reach the gentle, broken boy she now only caught glimpses of. “I just want to help. It’s okay.”

  “No,” he cried, walking backwards to get away from her. “Nothing about this is okay!”

  She watched as he continued to back up, staring at her the whole time. She wished she knew what to say to help him, to convince him to deal with these issues before they turned him into somebody even more dangerous.

  “Just stay away from me,” he called, his tough-exterior fraying around the edges, showing his fear. “If you don’t…I’m just going to hurt you. It’s only a matter of time.”

  Chapter 13

  Alex

  Pushing his way through the crowd at the beach, Alex searched for Kay, hoping she hadn’t left already and chickened out again. He couldn’t blame her for being afraid, but any clearheaded person could see running away wasn’t in her best interest. Finally, he caught a flash of her short brown hair and he called her name.

  She turned, standing up from her spot in a lounge chair. Seeing her face, the different shades of bruising color and the tired look in her eyes, his steps slowed until he finally just stopped, look
ing at her with a breaking heart. And even though she would insist otherwise, he still felt like this was his fault.

  Maybe if he’d listened to the rules, if he’d left Kay to do the housework by herself, maybe her dad wouldn’t have lost his temper this time. Or maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad. If he hadn’t been kissing Kay when her dad arrived, then he wouldn’t have gotten so angry. And then he realized that this, right here, this questioning must be what Kay felt every day. And he pitied her so much, felt so sorry for her, that all he could do was rush to her and pull her close, hoping that this was the last time she’d ever be hurt, hoping he could protect her from now on.

  She was crying, soft quiet tears, prompting his eyes to fill, too. He squeezed his arms tighter around her, letting out a slow breath of relief and gratitude. And for awhile, they just stood there, each one afraid to make the moment end, afraid to take the next step.

  ***

  Meagan and Kelly walked into Jill’s grill, looking for an open table. But they spotted Seth instead.

  Kelly grabbed Meagan’s arm. “We’ll go somewhere else.”

  “No, it’s okay. Just give me a minute.”

  She started toward the table, crutch and all. As if hearing the hobbled steps, he looked up and gave her a smile. Though it chilled her, she forced herself to keep eye contact and show she wasn’t afraid of him. She sat down across from him, propping the crutch up against the table.

  He sat back, his gaze slowly drifting up and down her body as she placed her hands on the table between them.

  “I know what you did to Lena,” she said, keeping that steady eye contact, watching each hint of recognition in his eyes, the way his jaw slowly clenched. “And Kendall.”

  After a long, excruciatingly quiet moment, his shoulders moved in a careless shrug and the arrogance returned to his expression. “What do you want me to say? We all make mistakes.”

  “You seem to make them a lot.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a stick of gum, popping one in her mouth out of habit. “Like videotaping your crimes. From what I hear, you’re pretty fond of cameras.”

  His eyes narrowed on her, cold, calculating. “Meaning?”

  “I’m referring to the half a dozen pictures of me you keep sending me. And a little silver disc labeled MVP.”

  He sat up, leaning his elbows on the counter. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Really? Because I’m sure your prints are all over it. I guess you wanted a souvenir, since you knew you’d never have me again.”

  Lips curving in a smile, he chuckled quietly. “I can have you anytime I want. I think the cast on your leg is proof of that.”

  “You’ve done such a great job at taking everything away haven’t you?” She leaned in closer, keeping her eyes on his and staring him down. “My friends, my reputation, my leg…and even Ryder. I bet you’re pretty proud of yourself.”

  “You had a right to know what he was capable of,” he said. “If you’re going to hate me for lacing your drink, shouldn’t you hate the guy who gave me the drugs?”

  “Maybe. But none of that matters because I’m telling you, Seth…we’re done.” She stabbed her finger against the table with each word for emphasis. “I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want you to follow me. As of now, you’re going to act like I don’t exist.”

  He ignored what she said. “Where’s my DVD, Meagan?”

  “Some place safe.” She sat back just as the door to the diner opened. Looking over her shoulder, she saw a police officer come in and head straight toward them. She turned back to Seth and smiled, seeing his face go pale and panicked. “See, after I got my hands on the evidence, I finally found someone to listen to me.”

  She pulled up her shirt enough to reveal the cord of a microphone taped to her stomach. Raising an eyebrow at him, she leaned in and whispered, “You’re toast, Seth.”

  The officer came to the edge of the table and said, “Sorry son. Not even the sheriff can get you out of this one.” He grabbed Seth’s arm and pulled him to his feet, then began to read him his rights while every head in the diner turned to look at him. Off by the bar, Lena stood, smiling proudly as she held her phone up to record Seth’s arrest.

  Meagan stood up to watch as the cops hauled Seth out of the diner. Kelly came to her side, giving her a smile. “Nice job, Meg.”

  “It’s about time,” Meagan said, looking at the cuffs holding Seth’s arms behind his back. It filled her with a sense of relief and satisfaction, like she could breathe again. It brought a bright, wide smile to her lips. Genuine and real, knowing she was finally getting justice. “And just think, I owe it all to Kendall.” She gave Kelly a wink. “You think maybe there’s hope for her, too?”

  Kelly smiled, thinking about this. “Yeah, I think so.”

  ***

  Kay

  ***

  As promised, Daphne remained at Kay’s side the entire time. From the walk of shame into the E.R, to the embarrassing moment of telling the receptionist what they needed, to the walk back through the exam area, passing all the curtained off rooms. Once they were behind one of the curtains, Daphne sat down on a stool while Kay lifted herself to sit on the exam bed.

  When the doctor came in, Daphne was the one to explain what Kay had gone through, as if knowing it would be too hard to do for herself. From there, Kay answered simple questions about the frequency of abuse and the nature, and where on her body she hurt. Every time he said the word abuse, she felt herself cringe and recoil. She didn’t understand that word, or how it could sum up her entire life in just five letters, and she hated that it was supposed to.

  The doctor left to call the police, and Daphne moved to squeeze Kay’s hand. “You’re doing great,” she assured her with a teary-eyed smile. “I’m so proud of you.”

  The interview with the police was similar. Kay went through the information again, as quickly as she could. But when Officer Burrows finally put away the notepad, he threw her off guard by asking, “Why haven’t you said anything before now?”

  Searching for an answer, she was quiet and still. There were so many reasons, so many variables, and yet, none of them seemed like a good enough reason to stay silent. “He’s my dad,” she said finally, hoping he could understand. “He’s the only family I have.”

  Chapter 14

  Ryder

  In his car, Ryder tailed the Mercedes Benz all the way from its house on Appleton Drive to a building that housed tons of offices. Ryder parked behind the Benz in the parking garage, and then waited until the man got out before he moved.

  Looking at him, Ryder searched for any sign of resemblance. If this man was his father, there should be some tell-tale sign right? Whether it was the same sensitive brown eyes or the cleft chin, or the broad shouldered build didn’t matter. Ryder just needed some proof that he was tethered to somebody in this world, but he found none. With graying hair and a short, plump build the man looked nothing like him.

  Stepping out of the car, Ryder called, “Mr. Miller?”

  The man turned, glancing absently at him as he reached into the car to pull out a briefcase. “Yes.”

  “Great.” Ryder stopped at the bumper of the car and pulled the check out of the inside pocket of his leather jacket. “Then you’re the one who sent this.”

  The man stood from the car and turned to face Ryder just in time to come eye-level with the check. He looked it over, his eyes shifting with recognition, then turning a studying gaze to Ryder. After a minute, he said, “So you’re him, huh?”

  Ryder didn’t answer, mostly because he didn’t want to justify the guy with a response, but the longer he stood there, the more surreal it all became. This guy had known his mother, known her well enough to have gotten her pregnant at least. Had they been in love? Had some secret, forbidden affair? What was their story and did he have any idea where his mother had gone or why? Suddenly, the check seemed like the least important thing in the world.

  “Sorry, kid. That’s
all you get.”

  Lost in his thoughts, Ryder didn’t hear him at first. But a quick spark of anger ignited when the words sunk in. “That’s not why I’m here. I came to tell you to take this,” he slammed the check against Keith’s chest, “and shove it.”

  A little stunned, he took the check and Ryder turned to walk away. “Right,” he said sarcastically. “A guy like you, with no home and no family, has no use for this money.”

  He hesitated, shoving his hands into his pockets. It’d been hard to be broke all of the time after all the money he’d made dealing, but he’d managed to get used to it. Having that check dropped into his lap didn’t make things any easier. “I got along just fine without your help all these years. I don’t need it now.”

  “But if I understand you have a birthday soon, right? Next week?”

  “It’s tomorrow,” Ryder said, shooting the man a dirty look.

  “So after that, when you age out of the system, you’ll have no place to go.”

  “Who are you to keep tabs on me?” Ryder shot back. “You signed away that right, shortly after the guy I thought was my dad all these years took off. So excuse me if I don’t feel like standing here and selling my pride.”

  “I thought your mother would come back,” he said. “I’m surprised she hasn’t. I never thought you’d be in the system so long. I just want to help you out a little.”

  Something about the way Keith looked at him was making Ryder’s guard disintegrate, and he struggled to keep it up. It was easier to be angry, than to admit that everybody made mistakes. It was easier to hate than to forgive horrible choices. “Then you could tell me how the hell you knew my mom. You could tell me why I never knew about you. You don’t have to send me some stupid handout. If you knew me at all you’d know that’s the surest way to piss me off.”

  “You’re right,” he called as Ryder started to walk off. “This…this was an ill attempt to make things right with you. So let’s start smaller. Will you let me buy you lunch?”