Collateral Damage (From the Damage)

by Jasmine Denton

  “Lunch?” Ryder repeated.

  The man looked at his watch. “Or an early dinner, at least. You have some questions about your mother, right?”

  He wanted to bail on principal, but his curiosity got the better of him. “Yeah…actually I do.”

  “Then let’s talk.”

  ***

  When Keith asked him where he wanted to go for dinner, Ryder chose a nearby burger joint just to see if the suited man would go for it. Surprisingly, he said it was one of his favorite places and convinced Ryder to try a mushroom and Swiss burger. It seemed that nothing today was going as planned.

  Sitting across the table from each other, Keith took a bite of his French fries and followed it with a milkshake. “I’m surprised you found me,” he said.

  “I’m resourceful,” Ryder said after swallowing a bite of the burger, which he had to admit, tasted like charbroiled, Swiss-cheesy heaven.

  “And the bruises on your face,” he noted, motioning to them with a fry, “are those because of your resourcefulness?”

  He was ready to spout off some quick remark about how the bruises were nothing, or ‘you should see the other guy’, but instead, he found himself saying, “This jerk was harassing one of my friends…” he shrugged. “I was sick of it.”

  Keith nodded, his grey eyes fixed on Ryder in a way that was piercing, exposing. Like he could read him. “You look like your mom. Not identical, or anything, but I can see the resemblance.”

  “I wouldn’t know,” he said. “She left when I was seven.”

  “I was sorry to hear that. Your mom…she always was a wild one.”

  “Really?” Turning his gaze back to his cheeseburger, he tried to drag up some memory of her, but nothing came. He used to remember exactly how she looked, exactly what she smelled and sounded like. Over the years, though, the image of her had faded, leaving him with the basic knowledge that she’d been pretty and brunette. Any other details had been blurred by time, and eventually forgotten.

  “We went to high school together. She was a few years younger than me, but she always hung out with an older crowd. I always kind of had a thing for her, but I graduated and went to college. Got married and all that.” Keith repetitively dipped a fry into a pile of ketchup as he spoke. “A couple years later, we bumped into each other at the store. It started with a few lunches, but soon…” he smiled as he reminisced. “She was always so beautiful and free-spirited, but she felt trapped in her marriage. I guess we both did.” Keith stopped to take a drink of milkshake, then swallowed hard, like the liquid didn’t want to go down. He cleared his throat and continued.

  “So, naturally you had an affair,” he said, in a sarcastic but blatant tone that showed his lack of respect for their decision.

  Keith paused with his fry mid-dip, looking up at Ryder. “We were only together for a few months. One day, she broke it off, just like that. I never saw her again.”

  “So, she never told you about me?”

  He shook his head. “It’s possible that she didn’t know, I guess. Or didn’t want to know.”

  “But you were listed on the birth certificate,” he said. “That’s how Social Services tracked you down.”

  “Well, she never told me.”

  “What would you have done if she had?” he asked cautiously, almost afraid to hear the answer.

  Keith’s gaze lingered on Ryder’s for a second before he broke into a nervous laugh. “Now there’s a loaded question, huh?”

  He chuckled, nodding. “Yeah…I guess it is.”

  “If it helps, you didn’t miss much. I’m a lousy parent.”

  He was in the middle of swallowing, and after hearing that, the bite didn’t want to go down. He nearly choked on it, on the thought that he had a sibling. “You have kids,” he said, wondering why this hadn’t occurred to him before.

  Keith nodded. “Two boys and a girl. One’s about your age.”

  “Really?” Ryder asked, trying to wrap his head around this. He had two brothers and a sister, and he’d never known. All this time, he’d been alone, but he had family out there, somewhere. Where did that leave him?

  “Yeah, my oldest boy.” Keith took another drink. “I haven’t talked to him in a couple months, though. Like I said, I’ve been a lousy parent.”

  “Did you guys have a falling out or something?” Ryder asked, just to keep the conversation going, so hopefully his brain would stop trying to make sense of this new information.

  “A pretty ugly one. Over a girl, go figure. I tried to tell my son she was bad news, but he just wouldn’t listen. He’s stubborn like me and unfortunately, had to learn the truth about her the hard way.” Keith’s expression turned solemn. “She…she kind of snapped, and came to school with a gun. People died…she died, and now, he’s alone. Probably miserable. If he’d just listened to me…”

  Ryder tuned Keith out as everything clicked into place. The reason he recognized Keith’s last name, the reason he recognized that story. With a sickening feeling in his stomach, Ryder realized he knew the boy Keith was talking about. “It’s Gage…” he said aloud, completely blindsided.

  Keith raised an eyebrow. “You know him?”

  “Not really,” Ryder said quickly. “I’ve just…seen him around, you know.”

  It suddenly occurred to him that for the duration of an hour, he’d had a chance to have a family. But, without even realizing it, he’d screwed that up when he sold Peyton the gun.

  Keith took Ryder’s words at face-value and nodded. “My youngest boy’s a handful. And my daughter, well she’s the best of the bunch but still sold herself short by marrying fresh out of high school. What about you? Got a special someone?”

  Still dazed from the revelation, Ryder barely managed to nod. “Yeah…well, not anymore. She, uh, saw my true colors, I guess.”

  “You seem like a good kid,” Keith said. “Seems to me like your true colors would be flattering.”

  “Then I guess you’d be as mislead as she was.” This whole situation was getting to be too much to deal with, especially sitting right there in the restaurant. He pushed his food away. “I think I’m gonna go.”

  “So soon? We just got here.”

  Ryder stood up, pulling his jacket back on. “I’m sorry. I just remembered that there’s something I have to do.”

  “Wait, just hang on a second,” he said quickly, waving a hand for Ryder to stop. “Don’t rush off like that, where’s the fire?”

  He darted his gaze away, raking a hand through his hair. “I…I just…”

  “Am I going to see you again?”

  Ryder cut his gaze to meet Keith’s in surprise. “Do you want to?”

  The man looked back at him, semi-hopeful. “I wouldn’t mind it.”

  “I don’t know,” he replied with a sigh. Wishing that he could enjoy this, just this one small thing. But, knowing what he’d done, he couldn’t. Was there anybody in Southport who hadn’t been affected by his reckless actions? “Probably not.”

  He turned to walk away, but Keith grabbed his sleeve, stopping him. He stood, reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet.

  “Man, I already told you—”

  But instead of pulling out the check, Keith shoved a business card into Ryder’s hand, holding onto it and holding eye contact as he said, “Call me if you change your mind. About any of it.”

  The contact chilled Ryder to the bone, and he wondered if this…this tingling, comfortable feeling, was what he’d been missing all along. As his hand fell to his side, still clutching the business card tight, he told himself it didn’t matter. Because he didn’t deserve this man, or the money he’d offered him. Didn’t deserve to sit here and catch up on old times as if he had a right to want, to hope for a connection. Because no matter how hard he tried, nothing would atone for the horrible things he’d done. There was no apologizing, no making it better.

  He took a step, then angled his body to give Keith one more look. “It was nice meeting you,” he sa
id, the words scratching through his dry throat. “It really was.”

  A small smile curved Keith’s lips as he nodded. “Likewise.”

  Turning, Ryder left alone.

  ***

  Daphne

  ***

  Daphne sat nervously in front of her boss’s desk. He sat on the other side, rapping his fingertips across the smooth surface rhythmically. “How is the patient?” he asked.

  “Her father’s been arrested for assault of a family member and Kay was admitted to the hospital for a mental evaluation. They’re handling her…case,” she almost choked on the word, she hated it so much. Kay was much more than just a case, but for the sake of the meeting she had to pretend, at least, that she could keep herself emotionally separated from Kay, “from now on,” she finished, clearing her throat.

  “So, she’s getting the care she needs. Now I can ask you what the hell you were thinking.”

  “Sir—”

  “The moment you met Kay at the park you should’ve called a crisis counselor and the police. Instead, you took her home! You put yourself—and her—at risk.”

  “I realize that wasn’t the best course of action,” Daphne said. “But she needed my help. I couldn’t turn her away.”

  “I admire your conviction, Daphne, I really do. It makes you a great listener,” he sighed, shaking his head as his voice quieted, “but it makes you a poor counselor. Because you refuse to follow protocol and chains of command. You think you fix everything simply by giving someone your ear and a pat on the back.”

  Daphne lowered her head, gripping her hands in her lap as his words got to her.

  “Kay’s situation must have stirred up some things for you, that’s normal,” he said. “But it’s also the reason you should’ve asked for help. Did you honestly think you could keep a clear head while looking at a girl, all bruised and beat up, trying to defend her attacker, like you’ve done so many times?”

  “This was never about me, or what I’ve been through,” she said, her voice trembling slightly. Just enough to give her away. “And I don’t know where this idea that a counselor has to be emotionally cold came from. Is it unprofessional to cry when a patient is in pain? Is it wrong to want to help? To care?”

  “These rules are here for a reason, Daphne. To keep you, and everyone in your life, safe. What would you have done if Kay’s dad had followed her to the park? Or to your home? People in our line of work have been killed trying to help an abused woman escape. That’s why your contact with these teenagers isn’t supposed to leave that meeting room. Now, you wanted to be on-call, so I agreed to let you have the work phone. Because I trusted you would know when to call in another counselor. But after this…” he sighed, looking over at her. “You’ve left me no choice.”

  “No choice?” she repeated, filling with dread.

  “Your actions have proven you to be a liability to this company,” he said, taking on the emotionally-separate tone he expected her to have. “I have to let you go.”

  Just like that, the world dropped out from under her feet. Everything seemed to fade away, just out of reach, as she realized that her days of helping people, at least these people, were over. “I know I made a mistake,” Daphne began, on the verge of pleading and begging. “But this…this job is everything to me.”

  “Maybe there’s our problem.” He stood up and walked around the desk. “You can do the group meeting tonight. But after that, you should pack your things. I’ll send a severance—”

  With a huff, Daphne stood to her feet and straightened out her blazer. Her temper getting the best of her, she mouthed off as she headed toward the door. “You may not see the rationality in what I did. And maybe Kay did run after she got to my house, but she was terrified and you’re missing the bigger picture.” Daphne pulled open the door, tossing one last look over her shoulder. “At least she knew she could call me. What do your patients do in a crisis? Call some automated system? And if they wait through the options, they can talk to a stranger who knows nothing about them. But because of the work Kay and I have been doing together, she knew she could come to me and now she’s getting the help she needs. Now, she’s finally away from her dad. If I lose my job over that…well, it’s a price worth paying.”

  She walked out, letting the door swing shut behind her. Her heels clicking against the linoleum floors, she hurried down the hall to the staircase. Taking each flight in stride as she made her way the counseling room desperately, as if she couldn’t breathe until she was locked safely inside, surrounded by the pastel colors and the affirmation posters. Finally, she closed herself inside room 303, locking the door behind her. She pulled the shade on the window down, and at last she let out a slow, shaky breath as tears threatened to flood over her. No longer able to keep them at bay, she slid down the door frame, letting the tears flow free and wild as she cried.

  Everything she’d worked so hard for, gone. It’d been her idea to start this program, geared especially toward teens, in the first place. She was the one who thought to schedule meetings before and after the weekends in case they needed extra support. She’d been the one to dedicate the time in this room, hours of notes on each person and their issues, their strengths and weaknesses. And she’d handpicked every poster, every small reading lamp and inspirational quote. Everything that gave this therapy room life was hers.

  Now it was all being taken from her, handed over to someone who was probably just as stuffy as the man who’d kicked her out of her own life. She was so angry and yet, all she could do was cry. Angry, sad and bitter at the same time. But, most of all, she worried about her patients. Would Kelly, Alex, Gage, Meagan, Ryder and Kendall learn to open up to the new counselor? And if they didn’t…what would happen to them?

  ***

  In the office that branched off the meeting room, Daphne carefully boxed up the items on her desk. Mostly psychology magazines and framed quotes. Once her desk was packed up, she grabbed another box and moved to the bookshelf. Grabbing a stack, she packed them and reached for another. That’s when she heard a knock at the door.

  She must’ve forgotten to unlock it after her breakdown, she realized. Quickly, she stepped out of her office and shut the door behind her. Crossing the room, she pulled open the door and found Alex waiting outside.

  “Hey,” she said, stepping aside to let him in.

  “Is this a bad time?” With one hand in his pocket, he took a cautious step inside. “I was hoping we could talk about something.”

  “Of course we can talk,” Daphne said, shutting the door behind them. She motioned to the circle of chairs in the center of the room. “Want to have a seat?”

  He nodded, pulling his hand out of his pocket as he sat down. He leaned his elbows on his knees, and laced his fingers together as best he could with one hand in a cast.

  Daphne walked around a chair to take a seat.

  Looking up at her, his eyes narrowed. “Have you been crying?”

  She was a little startled, and wiped her cheek on reflex. “No, no. It’s just allergies. I haven’t dusted in awhile.” Giving him a small smile of encouragement, she waited to hear what he needed to say. “Is this about Kay?”

  “Yeah. I feel horrible even thinking about this when she’s in the hospital right now, but…I just can’t seem to get it out of my head.”

  “What is it?”

  He chewed on his lip while he thought. “I found out that right before I asked Kay out, she kissed Zander and he rejected her.”

  “I can see how that would bother you,” Daphne said. He stood up and began to pace. “I always suspected she had feelings for him. You know? But I didn’t find out about the kiss until just now. And now…it makes me wonder…”

  “Wonder what?”

  “What would’ve happened if Zander hadn’t rejected her. Would she have still went out with me?”

  “But he did, and she chose to go out with you,” she pointed out. “And a lot’s happened since then. Kay’s not the same girl who kisse
d Zander that night, not anymore. This transformation that’s happening, Alex you were its catalyst. You were the one who helped Kay open up her eyes about her family.”

  “And she still called Zander when she was in trouble. After weeks of not talking to him at all, she still called him instead of me.”

  “Because she wanted to hide. I think she knew if she talked to you, you would convince her to come forward. And I’m not saying that you don’t have a right to be upset about this, because you do and it’s normal and of course it would hurt your feelings that she didn’t come to you. You care about her, and I think that once Kay’s in a more stable place, this—the whole Zander thing—is definitely something the two of you should talk about.” Daphne didn’t want to say what came to mind next, at risk of crossing professional boundaries. But then, she had nothing left to lose right now anyway. “But I think you’re really good for Kay and she needs you right now. Her dad’s in jail, she’s really angry with her mom and wants nothing to do with her. Right now, Kay doesn’t even know where she’s going once she gets out of the hospital. Things are looking pretty dark for her. She needs someone to stand by her side.”

  ***

  Kendall

  ***

  Jordan led Kendall into the police station and motioned for her to take a seat. When she did, he headed over to talk to an officer.

  Ever since Seth was arrested, she’d felt guilty. She knew he deserved it, that he’d had this coming for a long time, but she hated that she’d had to be the one to betray him. And she hated that even now, knowing what she knew about him, she still cared. She just couldn’t stop.

  Finally, Jordan and the officer headed over to her. “They said you could see him for five minutes. Officer Burrows is going to take you back there.”

  Kendall followed the officer through a metal door and down a hallway. They passed a couple doors, offices and a break room, and finally came to another hallway. There was a desk at the end and a couple barred cell doors to the right.

  “Right there.” Officer Burrows pointed to the first cell.

  Taking a breath to brace herself, she walked up to the door, looking through the bars. Seth was sitting on the bed, his knees pulled up to his chest, staring at the wall across from him.