Fractured Hearts: A Fractured Rock Star Romance

by L. M. Dalgleish

  “Oh, right,” she said, her voice weak. How had she got herself into this again?

  “Drew, you’d better check on the crew and see if they’ve finished packing up,” Connor suggested. “I’ll show Lexie to her room.”

  Drew raised his brows at having been so obviously dismissed, but he didn’t argue, giving Lexie a wave and smile as he left.

  “Your bedroom is down here.” Connor grabbed her suitcase from where Drew had left it and ushered her through the aisle leading from the living room toward the back of the bus. They passed several bunks stacked two high on both sides of the aisle. Was that where the guys slept? If so, where was he taking her?

  As they reached the end of the aisle, Connor stopped and turned. Distracted by her thoughts, Lexie only prevented herself from crashing into him at the last minute by bracing her palms against his chest. For the few seconds she had her hands pressed against him, she lost herself in the feel of hard muscles, before coming to her senses and snatching her hands away in embarrassment.

  “Sorry,” she gasped, mortified to have almost mowed him down. She stared up at him where he towered above her, surprised when something like heat flashed in his eyes before his expression cooled, and he stepped back from her. She must have imagined it. A rock star like Connor, who had the world’s most beautiful women throwing themselves at him, wasn’t likely to be excited by a lowly photographer almost knocking him over.

  Connor reached past her and opened the door, letting it swing inward. Peering past him she saw a compact room with a comfortable-looking double bed in the middle, a big tinted window with black curtains drawn to the side to let the sun in, and cupboards lining one of the wood-paneled walls.

  She frowned. “This is mine?” she asked in confusion, looking up at him.

  The corners of Connor’s mouth quirked upward. “It is.”

  He stepped slightly backward so she had space to move past him and into the room, but it was still a tight squeeze. As she brushed past, she caught the scent of something crisp and clean, like freshly washed linen, his cologne perhaps. A wave of awareness shivered down her spine. It was the same unsettling feeling she’d got when she first met him.

  Shaking it off, she stepped into the room and looked around. The late-afternoon light streamed in the window, and it seemed about as comfortable as a bedroom on a bus could be. Turning back to him she asked, “This looks a lot nicer than those bunks. Who normally sleeps here? I don’t want to kick someone out of their bedroom.”

  “It’s a second living area which converts into a bedroom. Sometimes when we can be bothered, we’ll take turns sleeping in here when we’re sick of the bunks. Or if one of us… needs it for a night.” His slight pause and emphasis on the word gave her a good idea what needs he was talking about.

  She took another look around. Great, she’d be sleeping in the band’s sex den.

  Turning back to argue about appropriating the only proper bed, she found him standing disconcertingly close. Since the bed was directly behind her, she couldn’t step back. He didn’t seem inclined to give her more space either, so she had to tip her head back to meet his eyes. Standing this close to him—close enough to feel the heat rolling off his body—scattered her thoughts. She blinked up at him for a second before remembering what she was going to say.

  “I don’t feel right taking this room just for me. Surely you should all have access to a comfortable bed when you… need it.” She inadvertently put the same emphasis on the word as he had, and her cheeks heated.

  His mouth curved upward. “Are you offering to share?”

  Lexie’s breath caught. As much as she didn’t want it to, her body reacted to the suggestion in his tone.

  Trying to shove her libido back down where it had been hiding out for the last few years, she licked suddenly dry lips. Connor’s gaze dipped down for a second, then rose back up to meet hers again. The atmosphere in the small room felt charged. He ran his hand through his hair before stepping back out of her personal space.

  “Don’t worry about us, Lexie. We’ll manage fine in the bunks. There’ll be a few hotel stops along the way as well for when we need a break. Settle in and when you’re ready, come on back up the front, and we can go through your plan for the book.”

  He held her gaze until she nodded, and then turned and left, closing the door gently behind him. Lexie’s breath left her body in a rush. She felt completely out of her depth.

  Chapter 6

  Connor stopped outside the bedroom door and took a deep breath, trying to dispel the not unpleasant tension coursing through his body. The breath wasn’t as helpful as it should have been since he could still smell the lingering light floral scent of Lexie’s perfume.

  It surprised him how strongly he’d reacted to being close to her. He was normally able to remain aloof from the women he associated with, taking only what he needed from them and giving them exactly what they wanted in return. But when Lexie had bumped into him, put her hands on his chest, and gazed up at him with wide, guileless eyes, he’d felt a surge of lust and something more, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

  Trying to shake off his reaction, Connor headed back up the aisle to the front living area. He paused when he heard hushed voices and laughter, certain he knew what—or who—was being discussed. He tensed when he heard Lexie’s name mentioned, then strode back into the room, catching the smirks on the guys’ faces.

  “Nobody touches her,” he growled.

  His friends gaped at him in surprise. Noah spoke up first. “What the fuck, man. We were just talking. She’s hot.”

  “I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable. She’s a professional, and she’s here to do a job.”

  “Maybe you should have mentioned she was gorgeous before springing her on us, then.” Tex narrowed his eyes at Connor. “You kept that close to your chest. Were you hoping we wouldn’t notice?”

  “It wouldn’t be an issue if you weren’t all a bunch of man-whores,” he grated out.

  Tex stared at him and then burst out laughing.

  “What’s so funny?”

  Tex pointed at him. “You’re as big a man-whore as any of us. And I’m sure I remember you screwing one of the wardrobe girls, then breaking her heart a few years back.”

  Connor gritted his teeth but had no defense against that accusation. He had slept with one of the wardrobe girls, and she hadn’t taken it well when he didn’t want to keep it going. That debacle had ended up with her leaving the tour, and Drew hadn’t been happy.

  “And I learned my lesson. I just want to make sure Lexie is happy and comfortable so she can do her job. So, I need you all to agree not to try anything with her.”

  Tex raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his broad chest. “And let’s be clear—that includes you, right?”

  Connor’s eyes narrowed. Was Tex deliberately goading him? Perhaps he was as surprised by Connor’s response to Lexie’s presence as he was himself. The whole band was constantly surrounded by beautiful women, so what made Lexie any different? He nodded in response to Tex’s question but didn’t say the words out loud.

  “All right, man, we can agree to that. We’ll be nothing but gentlemen.” Noah grinned, putting his hand on his heart. “Though you could have made it easier on us and hired a man. Now I’ll have to stop walking around naked.”

  Zac laughed. “Looks like Lexie’s done us all a favor, then. No one wants to see that every morning.”

  “I beg to differ. There are many ladies that would be more than happy to see me naked in the morning.” Noah smirked, leaning back in his chair, and stretching out his long legs.

  As the banter continued, Connor relaxed. He wasn’t sure why he’d reacted so strongly to the guys talking about Lexie. She was a beautiful woman, so it would be more surprising if they hadn’t said anything. And it wasn’t like him to overreact like that. He was usually the one everyone relied on to maintain control and not let emotions get in the way.

  He settled
back in his seat at the table and went back to thinking about the more pressing problem. It was getting harder and harder to maintain the pretense that everything was okay with him. After years of touring, he no longer got the same sense of fulfillment he used to. The thrill of performing to a packed stadium, which had been all he’d dreamed of as a teenager, was getting old.

  He hadn’t mentioned it to anyone yet. None of the others seemed to have the same issue, and he had no idea what to do about it, anyway. Most of the money was in touring these days. Album sales alone weren’t enough to keep the record label happy anymore.

  Sometimes he even fantasized about giving it all up and doing something else with his life. Just what that might be, he didn’t know. But every time he caught himself thinking too much about it, he reminded himself that he had a responsibility to his best friends, and to Drew, who’d also become a good friend over the last few years. He was the frontman for the band for fuck’s sake. It wasn’t like he could up and leave and they would continue without him. Plus, he’d miss being with everyone. Since he didn’t have a relationship with his father, and rarely had time to visit his Aunt Maureen, the band, Drew, and hell, even the crew regulars had become his family.

  He exhaled. Hopefully, this was just a phase he was going through. He just needed something to reinvigorate him, and then things would go back to the way they used to be. The way they should be.

  His eyes were drawn to the aisle leading to the back of the bus. What was taking Lexie so long?

  Chapter 7

  Lexie had unpacked all her clothes and hung them up in the cupboards lining the wall. A tiny bathroom with a shower led off the bedroom, and she’d put her toiletries away in there. She wondered if the bus had another shower, or if she would end up having to share this one with the band. Her mind conjured up a picture of Connor standing under the shower spray, water sluicing down his lean muscles…

  She stopped the thought in its tracks, but guilt surged through her, anyway. What was wrong with her? She hadn’t had a lustful thought about any man since Damien, and now, of all people, she was imagining a rock star naked. How clichéd could you get? All the lovely men that had hit on her over the last few years hadn’t been able to entice the slightest interest from her. And now her mind seemed to have picked the most inappropriate man on the planet to fantasize about.

  She wandered over to the bathroom mirror and stared at her reflection, trying to see what had changed, but saw only the same long wavy brown hair and too-big gray eyes that she always did.

  Why was she having these feelings now? Did it mean she’d started to forget Damien? A sharp pain sliced through her at the thought, and her reflection blurred as tears welled up in her eyes. While she didn’t want to forget Damien and everything they’d had together, she couldn’t bear the thought of harboring this pain for the rest of her life. Was she really betraying him by thinking about another man, or was Piper right, and she should be forcing herself to move on?

  The frisson of desire she’d felt at the thought of Connor withered and died, leaving only a familiar emptiness in its place. This was a job, nothing more. A once-in-a-lifetime experience, and another way to keep herself busy and help fill the hole Damien’s death had left in her life. One day, when she was ready, she could consider acting on that sort of attraction. But not now and not with someone like Connor. She needed a man as sweet and kind as Damien had been…

  She gave her head a slight shake at the thought, then brushed the tears from her cheeks and laughed quietly to herself. It wasn’t as if Connor would be interested in her, anyway. Dismissing the entire thing, she left the bathroom, bracing herself to head back out into the lion’s den.

  Returning to the living area at the front of the bus, Lexie held her laptop to her chest and glanced around, not quite sure what to do. All four of the band members were still there, chatting idly to each other or playing on their phones. When Connor noticed her, he gestured her over to the table where he was sitting. She slid onto the bench seat opposite him, placing her laptop on the table between them and giving him a tentative smile.

  He smiled back and Lexie blinked at the sight before realizing he was asking her a question.

  “Everything okay with the room?”

  “Oh, yes, thanks. It’s very, um, cozy.” As she said it, she remembered what the guys used the room for, and her face flushed. Cozy probably wasn’t exactly what they were going for.

  The dimples in his cheeks appeared as his smile deepened, almost like he’d read her thoughts.

  She shook off her embarrassment and got down to business. “So, I’ve got a general idea of how I think you want the photos to turn out. Would you like me to go through it with you now?”

  He nodded. “It’ll be another thirty minutes or so until we’re ready to get on the road, so we might as well do it now. Hey, guys,” he called out to the others. “Lexie’s going to go through her plans for the photos, so get over here and listen in.”

  With minimal grumbling, the guys stopped what they were doing and converged on the table. Tex slid in next to Lexie, his large muscular frame dwarfing her. Well, that wasn’t intimidating at all. Noah slid in next to Connor, and then Zac pushed in next to Tex, forcing him to press so closely against her she almost ended up in his lap. She glanced up, noticing Connor glaring at the two men.

  “Zac, why don’t you pull up a chair. I don’t want to have to find another photographer because Tex’s inflated muscles smothered this one.”

  Lexie laughed. “Don’t worry about it. I’m tougher than I look.”

  Zac got up from the table anyway and dragged a chair over, positioning it backward at the end of the table before straddling it and resting his arms on the back.

  Now that everyone was settled, Lexie opened the laptop and turned it on. “So based on what Connor and I discussed, I’m aiming for a mix of candid behind-the-scenes shots of all of you, and the obvious things like action shots during your concerts and photos of you interacting with your crew and fans. I also want to make sure I catch what you like to get up to after your shows and in your downtime.”

  Lexie paused for a second, waiting to see if one of them would make an inappropriate joke about what they liked to “get up to” in their downtime, but they all just nodded seriously. Okay, maybe her idea of the stereotypical rock star had been wrong all this time.

  “I also want candids of the crew setting up. What’s happening backstage while you guys are preparing to go onstage, or once you’re actually up there? What’s Drew doing while you’re performing? What about the sound and lighting technicians; what are your concerts like from their perspective?

  “I also plan to get out among the crowd to capture the energy and those intense emotions from the audience’s point of view. So, I’ll need to use your first show to check out how your stage is configured and what lighting you have going on, that way I can figure out how to get the best shots, and where I need to set myself up to shoot without getting in the way or blocking the crowd’s view.”

  She paused again to check if anyone had any questions, but they seemed fine with what she’d told them, so she kept going. “I’d also like to use some of your extended stops during the tour to get some conceptual portraits of all of you, either together or individually.”

  Tex’s deep voice broke in. “What are conceptual portraits?”

  “Well, conceptual photography tells a story. It’s all about conveying an emotion, idea, or message, as opposed to candid photography where you shoot what’s happening organically around you. So, when I talk about conceptual portraits, I’m talking about trying to convey something about the person, not a straight snapshot of them like a normal portrait. For example, I could take you all out to some location, somewhere out of the way in one of the cities we stop at, or even out to the beach, somewhere like that. Then we could experiment with different setups. I’d like to take photos that show your unique personalities in an environment that people wouldn’t necessarily expect to see you
in.”

  “So, you want us to go down to the beach, strip off, and splash around in the water?” Noah asked with a grin. Lexie laughed, while the others rolled their eyes.

  “What is it with you and stripping off?” Zac asked.

  “Hey, I don’t get to prance around at the front of the stage during our gigs like you do, so I’ve got to show off all this awesomeness somehow.” He gestured down at his admittedly fantastic physique.

  Lexie laughed again. “While I’m sure that would make many women very happy, having you all frolicking naked in the water wasn’t quite what I had in mind. Here, I’ve got some examples of what I’m talking about.”

  She clicked an icon on the laptop and then spun it around on the table so they could all see the photos on the screen. She’d chosen several portraits of musicians to help them envision what she was thinking, and as she clicked through them, she noted which ones they each liked.

  One seemed to catch Connor’s attention. It was black and white and showed a man in profile, sitting at a piano with his fingers hovering over the keys. The light was behind him, casting his face in shadow so you could see the outline of his features but not make out his expression. Motes of dust hovered in the air around him, caught by the sunlight streaming in the window.

  It was one of Lexie’s favorites. The composition was so simple, you couldn’t even see the man’s expression. Yet his posture and the way he held his hands—poised just over the keys—conveyed a strong sense of melancholy.

  Connor stared at the photo, his eyebrows drawn together above his black-lashed green eyes and a small furrow between his brows. Lexie watched him, wondering what he saw in the photo that made him react that way. When he glanced up and caught her eyes on him, his expression shuttered, and he looked away out of the bus window.

  Lexie pushed aside her curiosity about his reaction and continued. “Anyway, those are just to give you an idea what I’m talking about. We can do anything you want, but I thought it might be nice to try to express something about you all, either individually or as a group, that says something about who you really are. As long as everyone’s happy with that idea.”