Fractured Hearts: A Fractured Rock Star Romance

by L. M. Dalgleish

  Tex was a very sexy man, and an incredible musician, but he wasn’t the man that made her breathless with one look, whose touch caused goosebumps to break out on her skin. Tex must have realized it too, because he broke the kiss quickly, looking down at her face with his gorgeous eyes sparkling.

  “Sorry, darlin’, I didn’t mean to take you by surprise, but I had to know.”

  She shook her head in confusion. “Had to know what?”

  “You’re a beautiful woman, Lexie, inside and out. I like being around you. One day I’m planning to meet the love of my life, get married, and have a family. I just needed to find out if you might be the one.” He shrugged, his deep voice a little wistful. “But you’re not mine, are you?”

  Lexie put her hand on his arm and squeezed. “You really are a romantic, aren’t you? I’d love to meet her when you find her, Tex. She’s going to be quite a woman. I think she’ll be someone I’d like to know.” Then she felt stupid for saying it, since she’d be ancient history by the time he met her.

  Saddened by the thought, she wrapped her arms around his broad chest and hugged him. “I’m flattered you considered me though.”

  He nodded. “At least it was worth the black eye I’ll probably get for kissing you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Connor will probably punch me for kissing you.”

  Lexie’s heart sped up. Did he mean that Connor would be jealous? But Tex’s next words disabused her of that notion.

  “Yeah, I shouldn’t really mention it, but Connor made us all agree that none of us would make a move on you since you’re kind of important for the photo book. He doesn’t want any of us messing with you.”

  Feeling stupidly deflated that Connor would only care because they’d made some kind of boys’ club promise not to bang the photographer, Lexie started to turn away from him to recheck her camera.

  Tex was obviously more attuned to her emotions than she thought because he caught her arm and turned her back toward him. He looked into her eyes and must have seen something because he nodded to himself. “Connor’s had a rough life. It means he keeps people at a distance. Something’s had him down for a while, and he won’t tell me what it is. I’ve seen a change in him recently though, there’s more of the old Connor there. Not the one from a couple of years back, but the one I remember as a kid. He’s all fired up about something. The photo book’s important to him for some reason, which makes you important to him too.” He paused, still studying her eyes. “Your photos might not end up being the most important thing about you though.”

  “What do you mean?” she asked, a frown creasing her brow.

  But he’d apparently said all he was going to say, because he just shrugged, grinned, and strolled over to the table and chair. “Let’s get this done before the regulars show up.”

  Frustrated, but realizing he was right, Lexie got him posed.

  He was sitting in the chair, which was tilted back, with his long legs propped up on the table. His guitar, the bottle of whiskey, and a half-full glass were on the table next to him. With his long golden-brown hair, two-day growth, and thickly lashed bedroom eyes, he looked like a sexy pirate king, lit by the shaft of light coming in the window.

  The best part was the book he was reading as he reclined lazily in the chair. It wasn’t the one he’d brought with him from the hotel, because the guilty secret he’d revealed to her on their drive was that he enjoyed reading good old bodice rippers. The cover of the book that he held in his large hand showed, fittingly, a swarthy dark-haired pirate holding a petite black-haired, blue-eyed maiden hard against his chest as they stared lustily into each other’s eyes.

  The setup was perfect—his fans were going to die when they saw this photo. Lexie couldn’t stop smiling. She was happy, doing what she loved doing, and she was finally able to push thoughts of Connor out of her mind.

  Well, mostly.

  Chapter 16

  Connor was trying to write a song in his hotel room but couldn’t concentrate. Every time he heard voices, he would pause head up, ears straining to hear if it was Tex and Lexie coming back from wherever they’d gone that morning.

  When he heard Tex’s deep drawl and Lexie’s soft laugh, he shot to his feet and strode to the door. He was about to throw it open and demand to know where they’d been but realized just before he did exactly how irrational he was being. He had no claim on Lexie. No right to tell her she couldn’t spend time with Tex. So instead of barging out into the hallway demanding answers, he stood as close as he could to the door without actually pressing his ear against it. Because it wasn’t eavesdropping if you just happened to be standing in earshot, right?

  He heard the deep rumble of Tex’s voice. “Thanks, Lexie. I had a real good time. Though I still think it would have been even better with less clothes on.”

  He tensed at Tex’s words and edged closer to hear Lexie’s soft reply.

  “Well, you know, sometimes it’s even sexier when you keep some of your clothes on. Don’t worry, you gave me exactly what I needed.”

  Connor’s eyes widened. Son of a bitch. Irrational or not, he was about to break Tex’s fucking nose.

  He was just about to throw open the door and take a swing when his brain processed the rest of what Lexie was saying. “I can’t wait to see how the photos turn out.”

  Connor sagged against the wall. He was a fucking idiot. Of course they had just been taking photos. He scrubbed his hands over his face. What the hell was wrong with him? He could hear Tex and Lexie’s low voices still talking, and while he wanted to hear what they were saying to each other, he forced himself to walk away and go back to his futile attempt at songwriting.

  A few minutes later, there was a banging on the door. He knew from the heavy thumps that it was Tex, so he took his time going over to answer it. Opening the door, he kept a neutral expression on his face and tried to keep it cool, while surreptitiously checking the hallway for Lexie, who wasn’t visible. “Hey, man, what’s up?”

  A big grin spread over Tex’s face. Apparently, he hadn’t been successful at appearing uninterested.

  “So, are you going to invite me in, or do you want to do this in the hallway?”

  Connor frowned. “Do what?”

  Tex just waited in silence, still with that shit-eating grin on his face. Sighing, Connor stepped back from the doorway, letting Tex walk past him into the room. After closing the door, Connor turned and followed him into the living area, then stood with his arms crossed, waiting for Tex to say whatever it was he wanted to say.

  Instead of spilling, Tex reached down to the coffee table where Connor had left his guitar, picked it up, and started casually strumming it with his head lowered.

  Connor’s jaw clenched. What the hell was Tex’s deal? Just as he was about to demand to know what was going on, Tex raised his head, and with a small smile on his face said in his deep Southern drawl, “I kissed Lexie this morning. Just wanted to let you know since we had that agreement and all.”

  There was a rushing sound in Connor’s ears, and the slightly murderous feeling he’d had when he was listening at the door came back full force. His eyes narrowed, and his fists clenched.

  Tex held up Connor’s guitar and continued. “Thought this might be insurance against you punching me.”

  A dull pain cut through Connor’s fury. If he didn’t know better, he might have thought it was hurt. He clenched his hands harder to stop himself giving in to the anger and landing a fist right in the middle of Tex’s face. “What the fuck, Tex?” he gritted out from between clenched teeth.

  Tex searched his face as if he could read on it exactly what Connor was feeling. Then he said, “She didn’t kiss me back. I’m not her type, I guess. She was cool about it though. I’m not going to lie, I was hoping something might come of it, but I guess she’s not meant for me.”

  Connor’s tense muscles unclenched as relief washed through him. She hadn’t kissed Tex back? Did that mean she didn’t want him
, or just that she was more professional than Tex was? He tried to tell himself that his anger was just over concern that Lexie would get hurt and break her contract by leaving, but that was a lie. He wanted her for himself. Knowing Tex had already made a move and been knocked back didn’t help the situation.

  There was no way he could have her. He already knew he couldn’t offer her the things a woman like her needed. A night in his bed might be enough for most of the women he associated with, but someone like Lexie would want more, and he wasn’t willing or able to give it. He just needed to screw his head back on, suck it up, and get through the rest of the tour keeping his hands to himself. Then when she was gone, he’d finally be able to put her out of his mind, and things would go back to normal.

  “So, are we cool, man?” Tex asked.

  Connor rolled his eyes, the tension leaving his body. It was hard to stay mad at his best friend. Especially now that he knew Lexie hadn’t been interested.

  He smirked. “Hopefully the sting of rejection will teach you a lesson. But from now on, keep your fucking hands to yourself.”

  Tex nodded and raised both hands in the air. “Hands off, I promise.”

  Shaking his head, Connor wandered over to the bar and poured them both a drink. Newly found resolve or not, there wasn’t enough alcohol in the world that was going to make it easier to get through the rest of the tour.

  * * *

  A week later, they were in Indianapolis. Connor was watching Lexie take photos of the catwalk being set up from where he sat on the drums’ riser. She was dressed in a pair of frayed cutoffs that cupped her ass, and a silky white tank top that clung to her full breasts. Just watching her moving gracefully around as she worked had him half hard.

  Things hadn’t improved over the last week. All he could think about was walking over there, pinning her up against the nearest vertical surface, and kissing the living hell out of her. He could almost imagine the noises she’d make when he finally got a taste.

  Groaning, he raked both hands through his hair. Being around her—wanting what he couldn’t have—was becoming torture.

  He wasn’t used to feeling this way, like a schoolboy lusting after his high school crush. Normally, he just took his pick of the women throwing themselves at him. Just a way to scratch an itch. With Lexie, he could look but not touch, and it was driving him mad. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d spent a long period with a woman he liked, as well as wanted to sleep with.

  Whenever they were in the same room, his eyes were drawn to her. When she wasn’t in sight, he wondered where she was and what she was doing. During their concerts, he looked for her in the crowd.

  Since she’d joined them on tour, he hadn’t had a single hookup, and things were starting to get dire. His attempt to sleep with a random woman to get rid of some of that pent-up lust had failed, and trying again now just seemed wrong since he knew he’d be thinking of Lexie the whole time. The shower was getting a good workout that was for sure, either for taking care of his needs or just hosing himself down with cold water.

  Now he was watching her when he should have been using his downtime to work on the new album. So, he noticed when Joe, one of the lighting techs, wandered over to talk to her. Lexie turned as he approached and gave him one of her trademark gorgeous smiles. Connor clenched his jaw; unreasonably jealous it wasn’t him she was smiling at.

  From this angle, he wasn’t able to see Joe’s face, but Lexie’s expression caused him to sit up straight. Her smile dropped, and she gave a tiny shake of her head. Connor couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he saw Joe reach for her hand. She let him take it, but her body stiffened. She shook her head again and then gently tugged her hand away.

  Connor stood. He didn’t know what the conversation was about, but Lexie looked upset, so he was going to find out and put a stop to it if needed.

  As he started toward them, Joe gave a slight shrug, then turned and walked off, looking disappointed. Lexie put her fingers up to her mouth, her eyes wide and hurt. Before he could get to her, she spun on her heel and walked quickly to a side door, pulling it open and slipping through.

  Connor broke into a jog, grabbed the door just before it swung shut, and followed her through. They were in one of the large rooms used to store various pieces of sports equipment. There were no windows, the only light coming in through the cracks around several doors.

  “Lexie,” he called out to her. “Lexie, where are you, baby?” The endearment came out without any thought on his part, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to find her and try to fix whatever was wrong.

  He heard a muffled sob from the back of the room and made his way through the equipment until he found her sitting against the wall, head hanging, her dark hair hiding her face from him. Crouching down in front of her, he reached for her chin, lifting it gently so he could see her face. Her eyes were closed, but her eyelashes were spiked with tears and her cheeks were wet.

  “Lexie,” he murmured, “what’s wrong, sweetheart?” At last, her eyes opened, and she gazed up at him. His heart stuttered. She looked like she’d been wounded, her eyes large silver pools of misery. Even as he watched, fresh tears welled up and overflowed, dripping down her cheeks. In a low voice, he gritted out, “What did he say to you, Lexie. If he said something to hurt you, I swear I’ll walk out there and kick his ass right this minute.”

  Looking aghast, she shook her head quickly. “Connor, no, please, it wasn’t anything he said.”

  “Then what is it? I want to help, baby, but I need you to tell me what’s wrong.”

  She shook her head again and tried to look down, but he wouldn’t let her. “It’s my husband,” she whispered.

  His heart stopped and then began pounding in his chest. Her husband? What. The. Fuck? “You’re married?” Connor’s voice rasped as he asked.

  She nodded, then immediately shook her head. “No, not anymore.”

  His heart finally started working properly again, but he kept silent and let her keep talking.

  “I don’t usually like to tell people—it’s difficult for me to talk about. But sometimes it just hits me hard. He died. Damien, my husband.” She brushed a tear away from her cheek. “Three years ago. It was a car accident.”

  Jesus Christ, she was a widow. Connor felt like he’d been sucker-punched. Letting go of her chin, he moved to sit on the floor next to her, putting his arm around her shoulders and gathering her against him. The irony of the fact that he was finally getting to hold her, and it was only to comfort her over the death of her husband, wasn’t lost on him.

  From the protection of his arms, Lexie kept talking.

  “I loved him more than anything in the world. We’d only been married two years when it happened, but we’d been together since high school. After he died, I felt like the world would never be the same again, that I would never be the same again. I was so grief-stricken I could barely function, and it felt like there was nothing good left for me in this life.” She sighed and wiped at her cheeks. “But then I started to realize that I owed it to him to live my life to the fullest. To have all the experiences he wouldn’t be able to. I pulled myself out of it and started trying to fully experience every moment.

  “That’s why my photography is so important to me. It lets me travel to places I never would have thought to go, meet people I’d never have a chance to meet, and try to capture it on film for everyone else who doesn’t have the same opportunity. It helps me cope.” She paused, then took a deep breath. “But I haven’t been able to…” Another pause. “To be with anyone since he died.” She sniffed and wiped her cheeks again.

  “I keep telling myself that I’ll be able to move on soon; that I just need a bit more time. That I’ll say yes the next time a man asks me out. But every time someone does, all the pain and heartbreak come rushing back and I panic.”

  She tilted her head to look up at him and smiled sadly, the sheen of tears enhancing the soft gray of her eyes. His heart thumped hard in his
chest and he shifted uneasily at the sensation. “So, is that what happened with Joe? He asked you out?”

  She nodded. “He was very sweet, the kind of guy I should go out with, but I just can’t bring myself to say yes. And I worry that maybe I’m broken, that I’ll never be able to be with anyone ever again, and it terrifies me. I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life.”

  Connor sat quietly for a few minutes, just holding her and gently stroking his hand up and down the soft skin of her arm. When he’d gathered his thoughts, he started talking.

  “You’re not broken, Lexie, not by a long shot. I’ve got to know you fairly well over the last few weeks, and I can honestly say I’ve never met a person with more love to share with the world than you. But grief, it’s not something that you can control or put a time limit on. People talk about the stages of grief as if you can just step through them one by one, and then when you reach the end, you’ll feel better. That’s not how it works. It’s different for everyone, and sometimes it can last months and sometimes it can last years. And sometimes it does leave scars that will never fully heal.”

  He paused, and her stillness told him she was listening closely to his words. “I don’t know if you know this, but my mom died when I was eleven.”

  She flinched slightly, and then she was babbling. “I’m so sorry, Connor. I did know that, and I can’t believe I was crying all over you when you went through—”

  She tried to move away from him, but he didn’t let her go. He pulled her back against his chest and stroked his hand down her silky hair. “Shh, baby, that’s not what I was getting at.” He waited until she relaxed back against his chest.

  Connor didn’t know why, but being in the dark with Lexie nestled against him felt almost like being in a confessional. Like he could finally share something that had weighed him down for the last seventeen years. “I’ve never told anyone this before, but when my mom died, I wanted to die too. It was cancer that killed her. Seeing her struggle to stay strong for me and my dad while she faded away, broke my heart. When she died, my grief was so bad, I prayed to God to take me too.” Lexie made a small noise of sympathy but didn’t interrupt him. “And what made it worse was that when I needed my dad the most, he turned away from me; too caught up in his own grief to want to deal with mine.”