Me: Are you free?
Bethany: Yep.
I send a quick text to Dylan that he doesn’t have to worry and then I call Bethany.
She answers on the first ring. “Hey.”
“I don’t want to travel, ever,” I say.
“You don’t have to explain,” she insists.
“I want to.”
“Okay.
If she didn’t already know about how I arrived in this world I probably wouldn’t tell her. “I spent the majority of my life living out of a suitcase. The guys in the band want a record deal and to go out on tour.”
“So you don’t want to be famous?”
“I’m not against being famous.” I laugh because the idea is ridiculous. Those guys are chasing a pipe dream. “Except it would require never being home.”
“Never having a home,” she says softly, with understanding.
“Yeah. Even though we rent our current space, eventually I want a home, a family, and if I’m hopping from city to city, that’s not going to happen. The sacrifices to make it big aren’t worth it for me.”
“So, you’ll be playing Portland on your own?”
“If they’ll let me,” I grumble. “They contracted a band, not a solo artist.”
“If they say no, are you coming home early?”
“No, I’m here because we were coming to Portland. If we hadn’t been in this part of the country, I would have never left New York in the first place.”
Is he going to tell me about Scarlett? Do I ask?
Of course I have to ask. “Why Portland?”
He takes a deep breath. “Scarlett.” He says the one name I wished I’d never heard.
But, at least I’ll find out who she is without coming off as a crazed, jealous woman. “Who is Scarlett?”
“Really good friend. She went to high school with all of us.”
So, not a girlfriend, and I let out the breath I’d been holding.
“When we graduated from college, she took off and headed west without a word. She didn’t return texts or phone calls and after a while, the phone was no longer in service.”
If one of my friends disappeared like that, I’d probably go look for them too, if I could. “Why do you think she is in Portland?”
“Mia’s mom hired private investigators that tracked her through Las Vegas and have reason to believe she headed for the coast.”
“The coast is really long, why Portland?” That isn’t even on the coast, I don’t think.
“Grim,” he answers with one world.
“Grim?”
“Yeah, the television show.”
Oh, Grimm, not grim as in bad. I loved that show. “Hasn’t that show been canceled?”
“It wasn’t when she left.”
“Did she want to be in it? Is she an actress?”
Christian chuckles. “Dancer.”
There are a lot of shows filmed in Portland, but dancing is more for the stage than film. “Wouldn’t New York be better for that?”
“She’s not dancing now. That was just through school. Her degree is in social work.”
I’m not getting the connection to Portland, with dance or social work. Both can be done in New York. “So, if she didn’t want to try and be on Grimm, why Portland?”
“Not as much noise,” he says.
Now I’m lost.
“We used to watch the show together. She liked the looks of the place when they were in town, but loved the area outside of the city. The trees, forests, the quiet.”
“So, you might not even find her in the city.”
“That’s my fear and why I talked the guys into adding Looking for Scarlett on the posters. I’m hoping she will find me. Even if the bars don’t let me play, I’ll be sitting there on the night we were to perform hoping she’ll walk in.” Christian sighs. “I’ve got to find her. She’s like a kid sister, or what I assume having a sister would be like, and we’ve all been worried since Scarlett up and disappeared.”
Kid sister. Even better.
Yes, it’s selfish to be happy that Scarlett is nothing more than that, because I do feel bad that he’s been worried about her.
“Oh my God,” I blurt out as a thought crosses my mind.
“What?” Christian sounds rather startled.
“Kelly is working on his degree in social work and works with disadvantaged youth and is out in the community when not in school.”
“Your gay ex-boyfriend?” I tease.
“Best friend,” she corrects.
“Do you think Kelly might know her?”
“Not sure, but if Scarlett is working as a social worker, Kelly might have met her or know where or who to ask.”
“That’s the best news I’ve gotten since I started this trip.”
“If you don’t mind, I’ll send Kelly your contact info. The two of you can meet up or talk.”
“Yes,” Christian answers before I can finish talking.
“As soon as we hang up, I’ll call Kelly and explain.”
“Thanks, Bethany. It means a lot.” There is a load of sincerity in his quiet voice.
“Hey, it’s the least I can do for the guy who keeps me in fabric.”
30
I probably should have sent a text to the guys that I changed my flight before I left Portland instead of when I arrived. I wasn’t supposed to be back until tonight but was ready to come home and rebooked to an early morning flight. Who knows how long it will take Sean to get here with the van but it’s better than trying to navigate the subway with my trunk and suitcase. Hell, I had a hard enough time getting to the airport, through the airport, baggage claim and now here in the loading zone at LaGuardia. Now, all I have to do is wait for one of my best friends to come and get me.
The gigs went well. Better than I expected. At first the owners of the bars that booked us were pissed, and I’m pretty sure they only let me play solo because they had no other choice and I did show. At least they didn’t take it out on me. They didn’t pay as much as was contracted, and I don’t blame them, but I didn’t really mind. I hadn’t been thinking about getting paid because I was going to be in those bars every night regardless. The crowds weren’t thrilled either, but at least I wasn’t booed off the stage.
Kelly, Bethany’s ex-boyfriend, was a good guy and it was nice meeting him, but he’d never heard of Scarlett. I even showed him a picture, thinking that maybe she had changed her name, but he didn’t recognize her either.
However, I did find her, only to lose her again. She came into the bar that first night and stood at the back of the bar. I looked her in the fucking eye and she just stood there. No reaction. I know it was her. It hasn’t been so long that I’ve forgotten what she looked like. She’d come in during my last set, and it was such a shock to see her that I almost screwed up the song and, as soon as it was done, I smiled at her. Her lips twitched slightly. My heart was pounding during the last three songs and I forced myself not to rush them, but as soon as I was done, I set my sax aside, hopped off the stage, and pushed my way through the crowd to where she’d been, but she was gone.
Fucking gone! I ran outside and searched the streets around the bar, but Scarlet had completely disappeared.
For two days I walked all around downtown Portland, then rented a car and drove to the outskirts, got lost a few times, and returned. At night, I watched the door of the bar, hoping she’d come in again. If she had, I wouldn’t have even finished the damn song but tracked her down. I even talked to the bouncers and asked them not to let her leave if she came in. I didn’t know if they would, but it was worth a shot.
But, she never came back. Instead, a note was waiting for me when I was done that last night. She’d given it to the same bouncer I had asked not to let her leave.
Go home, Christian. I’m fine but I can’t be around you or any of the family now. Maybe one day, but not now.
Scarlet
“She’s gone and we just have to accept it,” I tell Sean after he
picks me up. I’d called them that first night to let them know what happened, and every night because I knew they’d be anxious to find out if she came in again.
“The best thing to do is just let the investigators Mia’s mother hired do their job and maybe eventually they will find her. At least we know she’s in Portland, which is more than we knew before.”
He’s right, but it sucks.
“Hey, we know more now than we have in almost a year,” he reminds me. “I don’t like this anymore than you do, and all of us want to know what the hell happened and why she decided to leave and cut us out of her life, but short of all of us going there and tracking her down, what else can we do.”
“Maybe that’s what we should do?”
Sean gives me a side-eye. “If I thought it would do any good, I’d go, but she didn’t even stick around for you. Why makes you think she’d stick around for any of us?”
He’s right. Scarlet doesn’t want any of us, and even though it hurts like hell, I’ve got to respect her wishes. “I just hope she changes her mind someday.”
“When she does, we’ll be here.”
And we will. Scarlet leaving was not rejecting us. That I know in my gut. We all do. She’s fighting something she needs to get through, though I wish she would have worked out whatever it is by now.
“She knows we still care and want her back, and that is what is important. All we can do is wait for her to come to us,” Sean finally says, but I can tell it bugs him as much as it does me. His jaw is set and there’s a tick in his cheek, the look of an older brother that wants to grab his baby sister from a poor decision, give her a lecture, and the hug the hell out of her.
“All I can do is wait and, in the meantime, figure out what I’m going to do.” I have no job, though I could try going solo. It wasn’t as bad as I thought, but soloists don’t get the work like bands do.
“You can always work with me. Now that the weather is nice, more construction is going on and the company could use more guys,” Sean offers.
Construction has been an off and on sideline work for me with the company Sean works for. “Yeah. Let your boss know I’m available if he needs me.” It’s not my first choice, but it will pay the bills until I figure out what I’m going to do. “What is everyone doing today?”
“I’m meeting a lady about renovations in a few hours.”
“Really? Something of your own?”
“Yep, but don’t tell my boss.”
“How are you going to do both jobs?”
“She doesn’t care if I do the work at night or on the weekends, so I’ll be able to do both, if she accepts my bid.”
If he can get enough of his own clients and a good reputation, Sean won’t have to work for anyone else. He’s done a few things on his own, but not enough that he’d risk going it alone yet.
“Alex is at his shop all day, and Kelsey is doing lesson plans and getting ready for her final weeks of student teaching.” He glances over at me. “Did you know she’s not going to teach at Baxter?”
“That should make Alex happy, but what is she going to do?”
“The school she is at has offered her a job because the woman who supervised her is retiring.”
“She’d rather do that?” Or, is she just staying close because of Alex instead of being like three hours away. “I thought she wanted to return to Baxter and give back.”
“Kelsey sees this as paying it forward. The school doesn’t have much of an art program because it’s so poor and supplies are nearly non-existent, but singing is free. Alex told me that as soon as Kelsey said she’d take the job that twice as many kids signed up for choir than had in the past.”
“Why?” Nothing against Kelsey, and I love her, but there’s got to be another reason so many kids want to sing when they didn’t before.
“They all saw the video. The one that was posted online by The Reeds when Alex auditioned for the show. They heard Kelsey’s story and trust her. She gets them when the other teachers don’t.” Sean shakes his head. “I get it. Last week we went to the concert at the school, to support Kelsey because she was nervous and this was the first concert that she’d be directing. Hardly any parents were in the audience, but students were. Before I was at Baxter, I wouldn’t have gone to a choir concert at my school. I had other things to do with my nights.”
“That’s because you weren’t in to music,” I point out.
“I get why she wants to be there. The kids are tough, the neighborhood sucks, and it’s probably one of the most violent high schools in New York.”
I’d heard all of that and I’m surprised Alex wasn’t insisting Kelsey move to safety.
“But what I saw was us.”
“What do you mean?”
“Kids, lost, looking for hope, and stuck in a shitty violent place. Kelsey is that hope. They know what she went through and they see where she is now. She may be the first hope they’ve ever had.”
“That you can come through the shit and survive it without becoming a statistic, gang member, drug dealer, prostitute, dead or mother at age sixteen.”
“Baxter can always find teachers, they always do, but nobody applied for the position because nobody wants to be in that school.”
“She does love it there.” I have heard her say that a lot.
“You know, the other music director, the one for the band and orchestra retired three years ago and they were never able to fill that position.”
I turn and look at him.
“You do have a music degree.”
“But I sucked at student teaching. Don’t you remember?”
“I think it was more the students than you.”
Those kids didn’t listen to me. They didn’t care. They were just there because their parents wanted them to be well-rounded and expected credit for showing up.
“That’s because they stuck you in a preppy, white privilege school.”
“The Academy.” I use the same snobby tone I’d learned to mimic from the parents and other teachers.
“It would be different at St. Cecilia’s High School.”
“How do you know?”
“Those kids are hungry for something. They need teachers who get them. Teachers who aren’t too tired anymore.”
“Tired?”
“Kelsey says that 75% of the staff will retire within the next three years and hardly anyone is willing to come in to take their place. Teachers would rather flip burgers than be caught in that neighborhood after dark.”
“That bad?” I knew it was a tough school in a rather dangerous neighborhood. Not that I want to be there any more than the others, but if nobody is willing to go in and teach the kids, the place isn’t going to get any better.
“Kelsey says it’s not and she’s never felt like she was in danger, but the older ones, who have seen the place go downhill, just want to serve their time so they collect their pension.”
I mull it over. I do have a teaching degree and just because I hated teaching rich brats doesn’t mean I’d hate teaching kids who are more like me at that age. Plus it would be a job.
“The only problem, the school only has a few instruments, and from what Kelsey has said, they’re in bad shape.”
“Instruments are expensive.” I went months surviving on Ramen to save up enough to buy a horn and none of mine were new, but second hand. I’ve never had a new instrument, starting with the first saxophone Louie gave me.
Maybe this is what I need. A new chapter. Except, school is almost out and won’t start up until August, so I’ll still have to figure out something to do until then, if they even hire me.
A sign for Bushwick is up ahead. Bethany! I wonder what she’d think about me teaching. She got that I didn’t want a recording deal or to tour. “Mind dropping me at Bethany’s?”
Sean lifts an eyebrow. “You want to see her before you see the guys?”
“Yep.”
He grins. “You like her that much?”
“Yeah, I do.�
��
“Good.” He nods slowly. “I hope it works out.”
Me too. It’s still really early for any kind of relationship, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t wait to see her. I missed the guys while I was gone, but I missed her even more.
“You know, you should find someone. When’s the last time you even had a drink with a girl?”
Sean rolls his eyes. “No time, my friend.”
“Make time.”
“Oh, I will, if I met someone worth it. Nobody really caught my attention for more than a conversation, let alone dumping my friends after being gone for two weeks to spend time with her.”
It’s just like the morning I left. “Are you going to give me shit again?”
“Only because I can,” he laughs. “Where does she live?”
I give him directions to her building. When he pulls up, he looks out the window and up at the building. “They’re loft apartments?”
“Hers is, I don’t know about the rest.”
“What are they like?”
Of course, Sean would be more interested in the architecture and design than anything else.
“Hers is great and I know you’d love it. They kept the old with modern touches.”
He grins at me. “Can I see it?”
“Another day.” I laugh and open the van door. “This visit is private.”
The pregnancy tests are on my bathroom counter, staring at me. Taunting me.
“Just pee on the stick and get it over with,” I tell myself. But, I can’t. I’m too afraid of what the result will be.
I’m only about a week late and shouldn’t panic. Before I was on the pill, my periods were all over the place and I never knew when I’d get one. The antibiotics could have thrown them off just as easily since it reduces the effects of the pill. Except, I also had sex during that time. Worse, the damn condom broke, so here I am, standing in my bathroom and trying to get the courage to pee on a damn stick.
Shake, Rattle and Roll: The Baxter Boys #4 (The Baxter Boys ~ Rattled) Page 17