GuRu

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by RuPaul


  QUICK REMINDER:

  HAVING A FAT ASS IS A GOOD THING.

  I call my wigs “girls.” This girl is probably twenty-five years old and has worked really hard for me over the years. And I’ve worked hard to keep her in tip-top shape. They all get de-glued, cleaned, and conditioned regularly. Of course, she was born back before the proliferation of all the new machine-made lace-front wigs that you can buy for less than $100. This girl probably paid for my house.

  You are cordially invited to Lacefront Manor.

  Never underestimate the power of a smoky eye, especially if you are new to makeup and want to do something really dramatic. The first stop for drama is making sure you have on false eyelashes. For next-level drama, go for the smoky eye.

  When there are no words, let the eyes do the talking.

  Health is wealth. You’ll get to a certain age and realize the most valuable currency is good health. Take good care of your body, and be mindful of the thoughts you think. Eventually, all of the thoughts you think will show up on your face. Think healthy thoughts. Even if you have every right to complain, don’t do it. If it’s raining, learn to dance in the rain. You are the architect of your life. Please believe it and let that be the reason.

  YOUR HEALTH IS THE MOST VALUABLE THING YOU HAVE.

  PROTECT IT.

  I’ve been a daydreamer since day one. I much prefer looking out a window over looking at my phone.

  MY LIPS ARE OVERDRAWN TO COMPENSATE FOR MY LACK OF GIVING A SHIT.

  I’ve heard that laughter is the most powerful spell you can cast. I’d also add that a beautiful smile is right up there, too. During my twenties I didn’t take good care of my teeth, and paid dearly for it in my forties. The ones in front are my natural teeth, but all the ones in back are implants. At the very least, floss and brush in the morning and at night. Also, a water irrigator used with mouthwash will save you a lot of misery later.

  AVOID DUMB PEOPLE. DO NOT TRY TO EDUCATE THEM OR TRY TO PROVE HOW SUPERIOR YOU ARE TO THEM. JUST SMILE AND STAY AWAY FROM THEM.

  I’ve always loved pop culture. Irreverent pop art. The Warhol aesthetic. Magazines, album covers. Fashion. David Bowie. My mind cataloged the imagery, the shapes and silhouettes. It’s great to work with people who also know those references, because it’s a shortcut to the creative process. In fact, I prefer working with people who have that vernacular and who know the references—in songwriting, moviemaking, television, design. I’m worried that young people don’t have enough curators and mentors needed to learn this language.

  First learn the rules, then break them.

  The color red always gets me excited. Blood red makes me feel dangerous and in the moment. Explore all the colors to see what effect they have on your energy. Use them on yourself as a conductor would command an orchestra!

  CONSCIOUSNESS IS SO

  sexy.

  My drag look has had several incarnations, but the one that became my signature look was conceived by the marketing man in me. I wanted a recognizable silhouette that could be easily drawn by a caricature artist and emulated by a sketch comedy troupe. I started this process by borrowing liberally from the pop stars I admired. I took two parts Diana Ross, one part David Bowie, three parts Cher, and a heaping spoonful of Dolly Parton. All of those elements together created the look that made me an international star. I call it Glamazon.

  GENIUS:

  1 PERCENT INSPIRATION + 99 PERCENT FULL-COVERAGE FOUNDATION.

  I’ve always loved beautiful clothes, men’s or women’s, it doesn’t matter. Just as long as they’re beautiful. I adore different textures and colors. Shiny Mylar, heavy tweeds, bold prints; I love them all! Children are inherently drawn to those things, and I never lost that. My older sister reminds me all the time that I was running around the backyard in her clothes as soon as I could walk. I wasn’t thinking “this is drag,” I was thinking “this is fun.” For me the fun never stopped. And why should it? My first deliberately drag look was called “gender f%k.” I was part of the Atlanta bohemian/punk rock scene. We wore combat boots, torn dresses, and smeared lipstick. All while flipping the bird. When I moved to New York City, I needed to make money, so I took a job as a go-go dancer on the bar at the Pyramid Club. I decided to switch my look to something more approachable and tip-inducing. I chose a look somewhere between streetwalker and Soul Train dancer. Needless to say, I was a big hit.

  Before settling on the Glamazon, my drag aesthetic was streetwalker/Soul Train dancer . . . still my favorite look.

  I’ve always been fascinated by space exploration. Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey totally blew my mind. It opened up doorways in my consciousness that have never been closed again. The concept of other worlds is so freeing to me. Every morning I awake at four a.m. to stretch, pray, and meditate. I can see the stars from the large sliding glass door in my bedroom. I imagine being out in space looking back at Earth. This tiny blue dot looks so peaceful from there. And all of my perceived problems don’t even exist.

  I’M IN TOTAL AWE OF THE TENACITY OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT AND EQUALLY GOBSMACKED BY THE UNRELENTING AUDACITY OF THE HUMAN EGO.

  “When your eyeliner is on point, your life is on point.”

  —MEAN MS. CHARLES

  At ten years old, I was told by my mother, “Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize!” and I have ever since. Luckily, my skin has been pretty resilient given the amount of makeup and sun I’ve forced it to endure.

  Quick Reminder:

  You are God’s gift to the world.

  I don’t remember any happy childhood Christmas memories. We were poor and the holidays seemed to only emphasize what our fractured family didn’t have. As an adult, I’ve redefined what Christmas means to me. I take the time to reflect on the past year and focus on gratitude. I love the music and parties, but I don’t give gifts because it feels too forced. I will give gifts all year round, just not at Christmas. I also prefer to be someplace warm during the holidays. I have friends who visit family in Buffalo, New York, during the holidays when the temperature is ridiculously cold. I suggested that they call a family meeting to move their holiday festivities to springtime.

  QUICK REMINDER:

  INSTEAD OF CONSTANTLY POINTING OUT WHAT’S MISSING,

  CELEBRATE

  WHAT IS.

  I learned early on that if I was embarrassed by something, it was definitely something I needed to do. I needed to challenge myself in every single way I possibly could and take it as far as I possibly could. But you have to walk those hard yards. You have to do it to get to the other side; there is no way around it. Challenge yourself to the limits of your fears. Get moving on.

  Your fear of looking stupid is holding you back.

  Punk rock is more than just a style of music, it’s an attitude toward life. It’s a way of thinking that challenges the status quo and imagines a life outside of society’s box. I’ve spent my life creating my own value system that has little to do with the value system of my parents. Of course, kindness is number one. Being loving is always at the top of my list. But if I tried to fit my worth into what I was taught by society, I’d be worthless. I had to learn what my true value was by forging ahead into the wild frontier. I wanted to be free. And I’ve done that. But there’s a price you pay. You have to find a tribe. And if you don’t find a tribe, you’re very alone. And there have been many times when I’ve been alone in my journey. You have to be able to sustain yourself if you don’t have other people, because your family may not understand it. Some friends won’t even understand it. It does take a strong person to truly be free.

  Life is too short to be concerned with what other people think.

  “Breaking the fourth wall” is a theatrical term used to describe when the stage actor acknowledges the audience, thus recognizing that they are playing a role. I’ve always maintained that we are all actors on a stage and that we play these roles we inherit from society. But if you’re able to see that and recognize that it’s all an illusion, you have
the upper hand in creating where your character can go. If you’re able to press the pause button on your life and go outside of yourself and see all the characters you’re playing, the dynamics of the scenes, flip forward and back a few pages in the script to see what your character’s purpose to the story as a whole is, then you can dictate where you want your character to go. Of course, I am speaking in metaphor here. I always say that it’s important to not take life too seriously. Well, that is part of this philosophy of being able to see yourself as a character and to laugh, cry, and make your life an Academy Award–winning performance, because it is all performance.

  Seeing yourself from outside yourself allows you to navigate your life and change the course of humanity.

  DOLLY PARTON IS FAMOUS FOR SAYING,

  “NEVER PERM YOUR OWN HAIR.”

  I THINK THAT’S SOUND ADVICE.

  I like to arrive early. If you really want to throw bitches off their game, arrive early. I used to arrive late all the time until I realized I was addicted to the adrenaline rush I got from being late. When I was willing to let go of my addiction to the adrenaline, I was able to arrive early. Adrenaline was the payoff, and humans are always looking for a payoff. We do nothing unless there’s a payoff. Follow the money. Find the payoff.

  Arriving early is not against the law.

  Your lighting is important. Light is everything. It’s how we see. I have an addiction to buying flashlights. I can’t tell you how many I have. The metaphor isn’t lost on me. I’m a seeker and I’m always looking for something, trying to see things. I spent time in darkness. I’ve spent time in light. I prefer the light. It’s important that I did the darkness, it was an experience for me, but if I have a choice, it will always be the light.

  When driving in the rain, always turn on your headlights.

  PRO TIP:

  Keep your neck and bosom area unobstructed to give the appearance of a longer neck.

  I just had my condo in New York redone by the man who is the set decorator on Drag Race. He makes everything look really gorgeous, but I wanted him to fill the bathroom with mirrors and make it very, very bright. You need that light if you are going to be preparing to spend your day out among people. I want my bathroom to look like an operating room.

  Always arrive camera-ready.

  On social media I get a lot of people writing to me saying, “Why won’t you notice me?” I wanna write them back and say, “Me noticing you will never satisfy your deep craving unless you notice you first.” But I won’t write that, because most people cannot really hear that simple truth. What people are subconsciously asking is for proof that they actually exist. We all want validation, proof of life, but it must come from you. From the inside out, rather than the outside in.

  People are looking to fill that void with some outside source, but that empty feeling can only be filled from within.

  This is a pose I perfected at seven years of age. It was lifted directly from the fashion magazines I was obsessed with as a child. It looks like I’m standing on a box. I’m not. I have very, very tall shoes on, and I have very, very long legs. And, of course, this dress is beyond, beyond. I wore it on television once, so could never wear this again. It lives in a box in storage, and of course on these pages. One day I’ll do a retrospective of all my gowns.

  Don’t leave the amusement park without riding all the rides.

  Joan Crawford is famous for saying, “I never go outside the house unless I look like Joan Crawford the movie star.” And the truth is, everyone should have that philosophy, especially in this selfie-obsessed world we live in. Not just to impress other people, but to lift yourself up at all times. People also treat you with more respect when you’ve taken the time to pull yourself together. Dress well and you’ll make more money, too.

  Dear Joan Crawford, I ask that you guide my thoughts, my feelings, and my perceptions.

  AMEN.

  I think that the concept of arriving camera-ready is a great metaphor for life. It means that you came to play, seriously. That you made a deliberate effort to suit up and show up for life and everything it has to offer. When you show effort, life will reflect that and give it back to you.

  Ultimately, it’s about the love you give and the love you allow yourself to receive. Everything else fades away.

  THE PHRASE

  “PLEASE REFRAIN FROM”

  SHOULD BE FOREVER REPLACED WITH

  “BITCH, PLEASE!”

  You have to listen to your body’s inner dialogue, and there are times, if you’re conscious, where your body says, “I feel really good” or “I feel a little run down. I don’t feel completely myself.” So those are the times you need to sit still and listen. We need to be still, like the big beautiful oak tree that stands resilient, storm after storm, season after season, unchanged in its foundation.

  Catching a cold is your body’s way of saying, “Bitch, you need to sit yo’ ass down.”

  You know, in nature, if you don’t evolve you will be phased out. It is that simple. If you don’t serve the greater good, if you don’t make yourself useful and give the world something it needs, you will become redundant. What used to be a local experience is now accessible globally and we must acknowledge that and act on it. That’s why it’s important to challenge yourself and try new things.

  I

  CHALLENGE

  YOU TO STEP OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE TODAY.

  Try a look from a different era. Late-1960s glam is one of my favorites. It involves big hair, top and lower spider lashes, and frosted lipstick. I draw inspiration here from the film Valley of the Dolls, a marvelous camp classic based on the book of the same name by Jacqueline Susann.

  EASY FALSE EYELASHES:

  CURL AND MASCARA REAL LASHES. CUT FALSE EYELASH STRIP INTO THREE PIECES. WITH TWEEZERS, DIP FAKE LASH PIECES INTO GLUE AND PLACE ON TOP OF REAL LASHES.

  Voilà!

  People who are quick to point out the bitchiness of drag queens have probably never spent time with straight guys on the basketball court. Straight guys can be super bitchy! In fact, that’s what kept me away from playing more sports. They were just so mean and hurtful I just couldn’t take it. And I was good at basketball. It just wasn’t enjoyable enough for me to continue playing, with all the animosity.

  Mama said,

  “Ru, you’re too GD sensitive.”

  She was right.

  BITCHES BETTER BEWARE.

  There’s not enough dancing in the world. And the fact that there are no daytime discos right now is indicative of the trouble we’re in as a society.

  Gotta remind yourself to have more fun. Play, dance, and laugh.

  STOP TRYING TO FIT IN WHEN YOU WERE

  BORN TO STAND OUT.

  Never save bath bombs for later. Never wait for a special occasion to light candles. Don’t wait to book a massage. Treat yourself to a spa day. Get yourself a colonic immediately. Now is the time. Your body is a temple. Serve it and it will serve you well.

  Folks gon’ talk sh*t about you anyway, so you might as well just go ahead and do your own thang.

  My drag is less about looking like a woman and more about saying F.U. to the cult of systematic masculinity I was bombarded with as a little boy. As boys, we were taught to fit our emotions into this tiny little box, because that somehow makes other people feel more comfortable. But I never wanted to do that. Truth be told, you don’t have to. I feel bad for men in our culture. I think we do everyone a disservice by hiding our emotions.

  AT FOURTEEN, I VOWED TO ALWAYS LIVE OUTSIDE THE MATRIX.

  If you are a liar, you naturally assume everyone else is lying to you. If you are a cheat, you assume that everyone is cheating you. If you are kindhearted and loving, you naturally assume everyone is kindhearted and loving toward you. Your experience here is a reflection of your outward projection.

  You are heir to the laws of the world you identify with.

  I have days when I think to myself, “You know, I’m gonna give everyone a b
reak today.” You should try it sometime. Have a “Give Bitches a Break” day. I recommend it because you never know when you might be the one who needs that break, you know?

  “THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS.”

  —THE TALMUD

  Being from San Diego, I’ve always loved sunbathing. When I turned forty-five, I decided it was time for me to stop doing so much of it. Now I’ll lay out by the pool for thirty minutes, and then use a self-tanner for that extra warmth of color to my skin. When applying, just remember to use rubber gloves so that your hands don’t get too stained.

  Be the star

  that you are.

 

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