Four Last First Dates

by Kate O'Keeffe

  “It is, isn’t it. There’s something about this courtyard.”

  “I know.” Paige’s eyes softened as she smiled at me. “Cassie and Will are going to love it.”

  “Hi, ladies!”

  We turned to see Sophie striding into the room, a broad grin on her face. “This is all a bit dramatic, right?”

  I nodded. “Totally. We’re glad you’re here.”

  “Jason and Brett are bringing the food into the kitchen. It’s just started to rain again, so it’s a good job we have Brett, too.”

  “The cake?” Paige asked.

  “Got it. It’s already on the counter. You did a fantastic job, Bailey. It’s beautiful.”

  “It wasn’t all my work, Paige helped bake and prepare it.” It was true I’d been the one to decorate it after watching YouTube clips on how to do it. I discovered a creative flair I didn’t know I had, and it’d helped to occupy me in my post-break-up slash post-victimization malaise. “We’ve been ‘feeding’ the cake every week for a month.”

  “You make it sound like a caged animal.” Sophie pulled a face. “I’m a vegetarian,” she added by way of explanation.

  “Everything’s unloaded in the kitchen,” a masculine voice behind me said.

  I turned as Dan’s doppelgänger, Jason, stepped through the arched entranceway into the courtyard. My heart leapt into my mouth as he flashed his grin at me, just the way it had every time I saw him.

  I cleared my throat and looked away.

  Paige stepped in. “Thanks. We’re on our way out. Can you help the guys? They need some extra hands out there. Just don’t let the girl who looks like she’s in high school boss you around.”

  “I’m on it,” Jason said and left.

  Paige put her hand on my arm and said in a quiet voice, “You okay?”

  Paige knew Jason reminded me of Dan, and she knew I found it difficult to be around him because of it. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just a shock to see him, you know?”

  “I get it. Josh told me it’s coming up three years since Dan passed away.”

  I nodded, wringing my hands together. “Saturday’s going to be a tough day.”

  “I know. But you know what? It’s three years.”

  I shot her a sharp look. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

  She shrugged, her lips forming a thin line. “Just it’s a long time ago, and I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy.”

  My thoughts bolted from Dan to Ryan. My throat tightened.

  And then, as if by merely thinking about him I had conjured him up. There he stood, under the archway, a box in his hands, his eyes focused on me.

  Chapter 23

  “HEY, RYAN,” PAIGE SAID, her eyes swiveling from him to me and back again. “I’ll catch up with you in a moment, okay? I’ve got to go . . . do . . . something.”

  Before I could stop her, she swished by Ryan and out of the courtyard, leaving us alone together. Rain went pitter-patter on the skylights above us as my heart beat hard against my ribs.

  “I heard you could do with some help.” Ryan’s smile was tentative.

  My tummy tightened at the sight of him—his handsome face, the way his bulk filled the room, his sheer masculinity.

  I knew a part of me wanted him to drop that box in his hands, take me in his arms.

  Never let me go.

  But I couldn’t let that happen. Not if I wanted to hold Dan in my heart forever, the way I knew I needed to do.

  I glanced down at the box in his hands. “What’s in there?” My voice had a distinctive tremor. I cleared my throat and forced a smile.

  “Fairy lights. We had a bunch in the office. When Marissa told me you were having the wedding here, I thought they might work.”

  “Fairy lights would be . . .”

  “Perfect?” His smile reached his eyes, lighting up his handsome face.

  I nodded, averting my gaze. The last thing I could do was let myself get lost in those warm, hazel eyes of his. “Totally perfect. We don’t have any flowers, you see. They kind of got squashed.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “Squashed?”

  “In the marquee.”

  He nodded. “Right. Lucky no one was in it at the time.”

  “Yes.” I curled my fingers at my sides. “Anyway, thanks a lot for these. Is it just one box?” My tone was purposefully brisk, efficient, as though delivering a bunch of fairy lights was the only reason he was here in the courtyard with me now.

  “Nope. Got a bunch of them in the trunk of my car. I’ll go bring them in.”

  I nodded, my lips forming a thin line. “That would be great.” I took a few steps closer to him in order to walk by, my eyes trained on the old florist shop beyond.

  Being this close to him, alone, was a danger I couldn’t allow myself to remain in for long.

  “I need to go check on the food. There’s . . . there’s a lot to do.”

  “Bailey.” His voice was low, reverberating through me.

  I closed my eyes and bit my lip. I didn’t turn around, didn’t dare chance it.

  “Bailey, please look at me. I think you owe me that much. Don’t you?”

  I scrunched my eyes shut tight, swallowed, and turned to face him. He was right. I did owe him that—and so much more. Here he stood, helping us out when I’d ended things with him without any explanation.

  He was a good man. He deserved better than I’d been able to give him.

  I opened my eyes to see the box of lights at his feet, sadness written across his face.

  “Amelia and I met once. That’s all. She called me.”

  “Okay.”

  “She wanted me to come back to her, said she’d made a mistake.”

  I blinked at him. “She did?”

  He nodded, biting his lip. “I turned her down.”

  “Wh-why?” I stuttered, not wanting to admit to myself what I wanted his answer to be.

  “Because of you.”

  I hung my head, my heart contorting in pain. He reached out and touched my chin gently with his fingertips. I had no choice but to look up at him, my breath shortening.

  His eyes bore into me. “You once told me I was worth waiting for.”

  I nodded, remembering how I’d uttered those words on our first date at the ball, that magical evening when everything seemed possible between us.

  We were stuck in some kind of sick loop. Me wanting to be with him and him not being ready; him wanting to be with me and me not able to do so. All in all, it was a hopeless business.

  Ryan and I were clearly never meant to be.

  I nodded, my heart beating so hard it felt as though it had moved up into my throat.

  “I just wanted you to know that you’re worth waiting for, too.”

  I opened my mouth to speak, closed it again. I couldn’t trust my voice, couldn’t allow myself to say what I wanted to say.

  I’m yours.

  Instead, I shook my head, sucking in air. “No.” I backed away from him, banging against the archway.

  “You okay?”

  “Yes, I . . . I need to get going.”

  “Yeah, we’ve got a lot to do.”

  “We?”

  His smile was warm, heart-melting, drawing me in. “Yes, we.”

  I blinked, breaking the spell. I glanced at the box on the floor behind him. “Can you be on fairy light duty?”

  “Being in charge of fairy lights sounds very manly.” He chuckled, and it rumbled right through me.

  I shifted my weight and rubbed the back of my neck. “I’m quite sure you’ll cope.” I turned and walked out of the courtyard, through the old florist shop, and back into the hubbub of the café. If there really was safety in numbers, this was where I needed to be—not alone in that magical courtyard with a man making it clear how he felt about me.

  Telling me I was worth waiting for.

  No. I couldn’t think about that now. We had a wedding to prepare for, and less than two hours before the bride and groom wer
e set to walk down an aisle we had yet to create.

  “I’ll go get the other boxes,” Ryan said as he walked past me.

  “Sounds great.” I kept my tone light, business-like.

  I surveyed the room. Our helpers had laid the tables out as we had instructed, and someone had managed to find enough white table cloths to cover each one, making the place look more like a high-end restaurant than our familiar, homely café.

  “It’s starting to come together, right?” Paige reached my side.

  “It is. Great job, partner.” I smiled at her. “What’s happening with the food?”

  “Sophie’s got it all under control. She’s amazing. We’re going to have to pay her more.”

  “Totally. I’m going to the kitchen to check on things.” I stepped into the kitchen and my eyes landed on Jason. With Ryan’s declaration, I’d completely forgotten he was here.

  Talk about being assaulted from all angles.

  I stood in the kitchen entranceway, digging my nails into my palms. I can’t forget about Dan. I knew I needed to focus on anything but Ryan.

  Sophie walked into the kitchen behind me. “Jas? Can you help one of the guys out here?”

  “Sure thing.” Jason swept by me, flashing me an easy grin as he went out into the café.

  “The chef’s here,” Sophie said.

  I turned and greeted the chef and her two helpers we’d hired to do the cooking we couldn’t do ourselves at the wedding. As I said, being a bridesmaid and the caterer at the same wedding certainly came with its challenges. And neither Paige nor I wanted to miss any part of this wedding if we could help it.

  “You seem to have pulled things together pretty well,” the chef, Leonie, said.

  “We’ve had a lot of help.”

  “You need that. Right. Tell me what I need to do.”

  I took her through the ingredients, refreshing her on what dishes needed to be prepared and when. I had full trust Leonie and her small team could handle the task ahead. She’d worked in catering for years, only giving it up recently when her third child had come along. As she’d said to me, it turned out she loved being around her kids more than she loved being around food, but she was always in need of some extra cash.

  With Leonie and her team settled in, I checked the time. We had just over an hour to go, and there was still plenty to do. I squeezed my way passed the busy kitchen staff and out into the storage area out back. The cake was sitting on one of Nona’s decorative silver cake stands, looking regal amidst the café’s boxes of dry ingredients and coffee beans.

  I collected it up in my hands then walked through the kitchen and out into the café once more. Paige and the team had done a fantastic job. With the tables all in place, the room had completely transformed.

  “Bailey, over here.” Paige indicated a small table with no chairs near the counter.

  With great care, I placed the cake on the table, and we both stepped back to survey it.

  “Perfect,” Paige said with a smile.

  “It is.”

  “If you don’t say so yourself.” Paige nudged my arm with her elbow.

  I laughed. After the emotional waves I’d ridden on today, it felt good.

  “I think the band should play over here.” Paige walked over to the other side of the counter.

  “Great spot. Out of the way.”

  “We’ll need to clear away some of the tables to dance, of course. But that’s what the burly men like Josh are for.” She grinned at me.

  I tried not to think of another burly man, currently in charge of fairy lights.

  Yup—failed.

  “Have the drinks been delivered?” Paige asked.

  “Yes, Sophie said they got here a while ago. Lucky for us we already have a liquor license, right?”

  “Hey, you have got to see the courtyard,” Tania said, sidling up to us, her eyes wide. “It’s spectacular. That cute guy with the beard did a great job.”

  “Tania’s right. Ryan weaved his magic out there, that’s for sure.”

  I pushed my hair behind my ears. “Sure. I’ll check it out. Then we need to get into our dresses. Will’s going to be here soon.”

  Paige bit her lip, her grin wide. “I can’t believe Cassie’s getting married. The first of our Last First Date pact.”

  “True.” I kept my tone light.

  I didn’t want to think about the Last First Date pact. Not now, not ever.

  I wandered through the café to the open double doors, leading into the florist shop. I stopped when I saw the trail of fairy lights forming an aisle. They ran along the floor, leading through the old florist shop, out into the courtyard. Someone had put some black-out material up over the windows in the shop, and hung lights in a swoop from either wall, meeting in the center. It looked like the ceiling of a marquee, only in lights—and not collapsed in a soggy mess on the lawn at The Windsor Inn.

  I walked between the rows of lights, my mouth dropped open. The florist shop had been transformed into something whimsical, something magical. It was bare but for the lights, enough room for many of the guests to stand and watch the ceremony.

  I reached the courtyard and my hand flew to my chest. A smile crept across my face as I took it all in. With the sun now buried in layers of dark clouds, the myriad of fairy lights adorning the walls glinted and sparkled, winking at me. I looked up to a luminous stream of lights, hundreds of them, hanging from the ceiling, stopping just two or three feet above my head.

  “Do you like it?”

  I dragged my attention from the lights to Ryan. He was standing to the side, a hopeful look on his handsome face.

  “Like it? I love it.” My voice came out almost in a whisper.

  He beamed at me. “Jason and I make a great team.”

  My eyes darted from Ryan to Jason, who was straightening up to look at me.

  “Ryan’s right. Fairy lights are so manly.” He chucked Ryan on the arm.

  My eyes slid from Jason to Ryan and back again. Their eyes were aimed at me, and as I looked back at them both, standing among the lights, I had to swallow down a lump forming in my throat.

  It was like my past and my present colliding. Two men, side by side.

  “I’ll leave you to it,” Jason said, flashing me his grin.

  “Good work, man.” Ryan shook his hand and slapped his back, the way men do.

  “Yeah, just remember, fairy lights are packed full of testosterone.” Jason beat his chest.

  Ryan laughed. “Totally, dude.”

  Jason swept by me out of the courtyard.

  “Thanks for this, Ryan. Cassie and Will are going to love it.”

  Ryan took a step closer to me, the fairy lights illuminating him, rendering him even more handsome than before. Not that I’d thought that was humanly possible.

  “I didn’t do it for them.”

  “But . . .”

  “I did it for you, Bailey. This,” he looked around the room at the twinkling lights, “is all for you.”

  Right on cue, my heartbeat sped up. I tried not to notice the way his proximity made my whole body tingle, the way I had to stop myself from reaching out to touch him, to feel his lips on mine once more.

  “You did?” I managed.

  He reached out and cupped my face in his hand, his eyes electric. “Bailey, I want you to know I’ll wait for you. However long it takes.”

  I looked up into his eyes, my heart pounding like a drum machine. Maybe it was the romance of the setting, the lights twinkling around us, maybe it was the fact one of my best friends was about to commit her life to her man on this very spot? I didn’t know.

  What I did know was in that moment all I wanted to do was to kiss him.

  I moved closer, sliding my hands around the back of his neck. I closed my eyes and reached up, crushing my lips to his, breathing in his scent, my body melting at his touch.

  “Bailey.” His voice rumbled through me.

  I kissed him once more then pulled away. Although my body
screamed at me to return to those lips, to feel his arms around me once more, this could only be one thing.

  Goodbye.

  Until my heart was free, it could never be Ryan’s.

  I looked down, breaking our spell. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “Don’t wait for me.”

  “Why? Please, you’ve got to let me know. We might be able to fix it.”

  How could we fix anything?

  “I . . . I just can’t.”

  “Why? Tell me.” His voice was suddenly cold, harsh, insistent.

  My legs began to shake, my breathing became ragged. “I’m in love with someone else.”

  Ryan blinked. “But—”

  I shook my head. “Don’t say it.”

  He reached his hand out and touched my arm. “Bailey, he’s gone.”

  I pulled away from him and clenched my jaw tight, my heart pounding. I shook my head and placed my hand over my heart. “Not in here, he’s not. Never in here.” I fought to stay calm.

  He dropped his hand to his side, opening his mouth to speak.

  Without waiting for a response, I turned and walked away on trembling legs.

  Away from Ryan.

  Back to the safety of my grief.

  Chapter 24

  MARISSA, PAIGE, AND I stood on the sidewalk outside the Cozy Cottage Café, holding umbrellas, waiting for Cassie to get out of the car. It was pouring down. The weather gods had made sure we knew we’d made the right decision to have the wedding here.

  “Oh, Cassie. You look so beautiful.” Paige had tears in her eyes as we helped Cassie straighten her dress as she stepped onto the sidewalk.

  Paige was right. With her long auburn locks in soft curls around her face, her dress the perfect mix of tradition and modernity, Cassie radiated happiness and beauty. And her dress was stunning. It was inspired by the very gorgeous dress Kate Middleton wore on her wedding to her own prince. Unlike Kate’s, the sleeves were capped, the bodice in a sweetheart neckline. The skirt was A-line, dropping to the ground, her veil attached to a comb adorned with fresh freesias at the back of her head.

  As pretty as she looked every day of the week, Cassie looked more beautiful than I’d ever seen her right now.