Four Last First Dates

by Kate O'Keeffe

  “You okay, honey?” Joe, Cassie’s dad said, placing his hand on her back.

  “I am, thanks, Dad.” She beamed at him. “I’m more than okay.”

  “Well, then, let’s do this.” He offered her his arm and she took it.

  “Yeah, let’s do this,” Marissa echoed.

  Paige, Marissa, and I, dressed in our matching bridesmaid dresses, echoing Cassie’s with the sweetheart neckline and A-line skirt, got into line. We were ready to walk down the fairy light trimmed aisle.

  Will and his brother, his best man, Michael, had arrived about fifteen minutes ago. Even though he’d made jokes and laughed about “Dunny” being a last-minute runaway bride, I could tell he was excited, and perhaps a little nervous, too. He was now standing at the end of the fairy light trail, waiting for his bride.

  Marissa pulled the front door ajar and gave a signal to the band to start playing. As the first lines of “God Only Knows” by the Beach Boys were played, Marissa pulled the doors to the café open and stepped inside. Paige followed, and then it was my turn.

  I turned and flashed a grin at Cassie whose smile shone back at me. I stepped into the café, which no longer looked like my café at all. It was packed full of smartly-dressed people, all watching us as we made our progress across the floor and down the aisle to a beaming Will.

  I gave him a quick wink and took my place by the other bridesmaids. I watched with pride as Cassie and her dad walked toward us, both radiant, both grinning from ear to ear.

  I glanced at Will. I’ve been to a few weddings in my life, and one of my favorite things to do has always been to watch the groom as he first clapped eyes on his bride, dressed in her wedding gown. Almost everyone watched the bride. Not me. I wanted to see the love in the groom’s eyes.

  And in Will’s eyes, there was enough love to last a lifetime.

  Anyone in that room could tell by the look on his face as she walked down the makeshift aisle. He adored her.

  I felt a lump rise in my throat and tried to swallow it away.

  Father and daughter reached the end of the aisle. Joe kissed his daughter on the cheek and took his place next to a tearful Cheryl, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue.

  The music stopped, and Will took Cassie’s hands in his. As the ceremony began, I looked out at the sea of people before me. I saw Josh and Nash, standing together over at the side. I saw Cassie’s brother, Luke, standing with a pretty girl.

  And then my eyes landed on Ryan.

  Unlike everyone else in the room, he wasn’t watching the bride and groom. He was watching me. I held his gaze for a beat, two, my heart giving a little squeeze.

  He loves me, he’s waiting for me.

  If things were different . . .

  But they weren’t.

  I tore my eyes from him, focusing instead on Cassie and Will.

  As they were pronounced husband and wife to a cheer from us all, Will took Cassie’s face in his hands, bent down, and they kissed. Fresh cheers erupted from the group, and the newly-weds turned and grinned.

  The band began to play “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong, and Cassie and Will walked together down the aisle, grinning and saying hello to people as they went. I waited for Marissa and Paige to follow, then walked behind through the arch and the transformed florist shop and out into the café.

  “Congratulations, you two!”

  As we hugged and kissed the newly married couple, the atmosphere was full of hope for their future together. The guests poured through the double doors and the band moved onto their next song, a cover of an Ed Sheeran classic.

  “Well, that went better than I’d expected,” Tania said.

  I let out a laugh. She had to be the worst wedding planner in the city. No, scratch that: the whole freaking country!

  “I’m going to get a drink.” Tania disappeared into the crowd.

  “We’ve decided to have the photos in the courtyard,” Cassie said. “We were meant to do them at The Windsor Inn on that little bridge they have over the stream, but that plan didn’t exactly work out.”

  “They’ll be wonderful here. Are you ready now?”

  “Yup.” She beamed at me. “And thank you so much for all this.” She looked around the café. “Walking up that aisle with all the lights, all my friends and family looking on? Well, it was amazing. Having the wedding here is better than I could ever have dreamed.”

  I returned her smile. “So, you’re happy?”

  She glanced at Will who shot her a smile. “Oh, yes.”

  I took her hand in mine and gave it a squeeze. “I’m so pleased. Right, let’s organize this rabble for photos.”

  Cassie and I rounded up the wedding party, and we all made our slow progression through the throngs of people, everyone wanting to congratulate the happy couple. I walked through the double doors into the old florist shop and waited for Cassie, Will and the rest of the wedding party to catch up.

  “Hey. Bailey, right?”

  I turned to look at the man at my side, my eyes almost popping out of my head when I saw who it was.

  “Adam?”

  He smiled at me. “Yeah, that’s right. From the speed dating night.”

  “That’s right.” Otherwise known as the night you didn’t pick me. “What are you doing here?”

  “Shelley brought me. She’s one of Cassie’s cousins. She’s my roommate, nothing more.”

  I wondered why he was telling me that. “Good to know.”

  “Look, I need to tell you something. I was a bit of a jerk that night.”

  “No, you weren’t.”

  “I was. I really wanted to see you again, but I was kinda intimidated by you.”

  I blinked at him. “You were?”

  “Well, yeah. Look at you. You’re gorgeous, smart, you run your own successful business. What guy wouldn’t be intimidated by you?”

  I let out a light laugh. I could get used to being complimented by cute men. It felt nice. “I don’t see it, but I’ll take it all the same.”

  He paused, his eyes on my face. “Will you go out with me now? It may be Dutch courage—” He raised his beer bottle. “Although I’ve only had a couple of sips so far, so I’m not sure I can claim it.”

  I smiled up at him. What would have happened if he’d written my name down the night of the speed dating—if we’d been a match? Would I have fallen for Ryan? Would I have found myself in the mess I’m now in, wrestling with my feelings for two men?

  Of course, I would never know. And I wasn’t going to try a re-set with Adam now.

  “Are you ready?” Paige appeared at my side.

  “Sure.” I glanced back at Adam. “Thanks for the offer, but I think I have to pass.”

  He shrugged. “It was worth a shot. See you ’round.” He ambled off.

  “What was that about?” Paige asked as we walked side by side down the fairy-lit aisle.

  “Just some speed dating closure.”

  She shot me a quizzical look. Before I had the chance to offer any more details, the newly-weds and the rest of the bridal party arrived, and the photographer began to direct us for a series of photographs.

  Once Cassie and Will’s family arrived for their session, I took the opportunity to slip out to the kitchen to check on the food. We had one-hundred-and-fifty hungry guests to feed. After the marquee disaster, this needed to run smoothly.

  “Bailey? Can I talk to you?” Marissa followed me as I made my way past the cake and around the counter.

  I turned and smiled at her. She couldn’t warn me off dating Ryan anymore. “Sure. Follow me to the kitchen.”

  She nodded and did as I suggested. With the place full of busy caterers it was only marginally quieter in here, so I gestured to the back door and we slipped by the busy kitchen staff out into the alleyway behind the café.

  I closed the door over. “What’s up?”

  Things had been a little weird between us since she’d told me about Ryan seeing Amelia. Sure, we’d hung out, an
d I’d even gone to a dog park with her and her cute dog last Sunday morning. But there was this unspoken feeling between us now, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

  “Look, I think I was wrong.” Her features were tense.

  “About . . .?”

  “Ryan.”

  “Oh.”

  “He did meet up with Amelia, and I think seeing her brought up some stuff for him, but she said she wanted him back. Bailey, he turned her down.”

  I nodded. “I know.”

  Her eyebrows shot up to her hairline. “You do?”

  “He told me about it before the wedding.”

  “And?” Her eyes were full of expectation.

  I shifted my weight from foot to foot. I tried not to think of the words Ryan had said, the way he’d looked at me with such soft, loving eyes. I shook my head. “And nothing.”

  “Nothing?” She knitted her brows together. “But . . . but I saw how he looks at you. Him turning Amelia down is huge, don’t you see?”

  I nodded, drawing my lips into a thin line.

  She took a step closer to me. “Bailey, you’ve got to know he’s in love with you.”

  I cast my eyes down, wishing the ground would open and swallow me whole. I’d already had one difficult conversation with Marissa’s brother today, now I was in another one with her about her brother.

  She leaned back on her heels. “Are you not in love with him?”

  I wrung my hands and looked up at her face, creased with concern. Immediately, I looked away, chewing the inside of my lip. I could feel her eyes on me, studying me. After a deep breath, I glanced back at her.

  Her eyes were wide, her jaw dropped open. “You are in love with him. Aren’t you?”

  Although it was posed as one, I knew it wasn’t a question.

  And I also knew she was absolutely right.

  As hard as I’d tried to bury my feelings for him, it was the truth, plain and simple. There was something about him, something I’d seen in him the day we’d met, when he was a shell of a man. Even then he’d drawn me in, made me want to know more about him.

  And then, once we’d spent some time together, getting to know one another, having some fun together, my feelings for him had grown. Even when I got scared, knowing he’d touched my heart in a way I hadn’t known since Dan, the feeling was there—this was big.

  Marissa’s hand flew to her mouth, her eyes almost popping out of her head. “Bailey, that’s wonderful!” She collected me in a hug. “You two are such a great couple. Oh, my gosh, you’re the last of the pact. It’s worked. It’s worked for everyone!”

  Her words washed over me. I didn’t want to think about Last First Dates, I didn’t want to think about Ryan. “I . . . ah, I have to get back to the kitchen.”

  Her eyes bored into my face. “I don’t get it. You love him, he loves you. What am I missing here?”

  “Nothing. It’s just . . . complicated, I guess.”

  “Complicated? But—” Her expression changed as understanding dawned. “Because of your fiancé.”

  My insides twisted. I wrapped my arms around myself.

  “Bailey.” Her face creased in concern.

  I put my hands up to stop her, shaking my head vehemently. “Don’t.”

  “I know you loved him, I know he was incredibly important to you. But he’s gone.”

  I locked my jaw and glared at her. Two members of the Jones family had pointed that out to me in one night. How fan-freaking-tastic. “I know that.”

  She let out a puff of air. “You need to allow yourself to move on.”

  “You don’t get it. He was ‘the one,’ he was my Last First Date.” Hot tears threatened my eyes.

  “But you agreed to the pact . . .”

  “It was a mistake.”

  She didn’t reply. She simply gaped at me.

  I turned on my heel and stomped down the alleyway toward the door. I turned back to glare at her. “If you lost Nash, if you’d been dating him for years, you were engaged to marry him, would you just ‘move on’?”

  She opened her mouth to speak, paused, and then shook her head.

  My hand on the doorknob, I paused. “Then why ask it of me?”

  “Because it’s been three years, right? That’s a long time.”

  “I know that.”

  “And because . . . because you’re in love with my brother.”

  I forced the door open and the music blasted out. My heart was hammering, my anger piqued.

  Why did everyone expect me to just forget about Dan—forget he even existed? He was my love, my life.

  Why didn’t they get that?

  * * *

  For the rest of the wedding, I buried myself completely in work, making sure everything was perfect for the happy couple. From the finger food to the dinner, I checked every detail, ensuring no one got anything less than our best.

  It was so much easier than facing Marissa or Ryan—or any of them.

  Paige found me in the kitchen, my Cozy Cottage apron wrapped around my waist to protect my bridesmaid’s dress. I was rearranging a tray of hors d’oeuvres for Sophie, Jason, and Brett to take out to the guests. She frowned. “We’ve got Leonie and the staff to do this, you know.”

  “I know. I just wanted to make sure it was all perfect.” I concentrated on my work. “You know, after the whole Fake Jamie targeting us and all? A great job is the best advertisement for our business.”

  I may have been speaking the truth, but our faltering catering business wasn’t the reason I was in the kitchen, and Paige knew it.

  “If you want to be out here, that’s fine. Just make sure you sit down with us to dinner, okay? You’re a bridesmaid. Cassie needs you.”

  I nodded at her and returned my attention to my work. “You’re good to go,” I said to Sophie as I handed her the tray.

  “On it.” Sophie flashed me a grin then left, her tray held aloft.

  Thankfully, Paige followed her, leaving me to bury myself in my self-assigned kitchen duties once more.

  But soon enough, the dinner preparation was complete, and I knew I had to get back out there. I couldn’t let Cassie down, even though the last thing I wanted to do was to be sociable.

  I hung my apron up and checked my reflection in my compact. I was definitely not looking my best. I reapplied my lipstick and fluffed up my hair, prepared as I’d ever be to face one-hundred-and-fifty people in my current state of mind.

  And I got through it. I smiled at the speeches, made small talk with the other bridesmaids, drank my glass of wine, and ate the food.

  And although my eyes had other ideas, I didn’t once purposefully look at Ryan, sitting at a table close to ours.

  By the end of the evening, I was totally wrung out from the effort of appearing normal. All I wanted was to go home, get into my pajamas, and curl up under my duvet. Hidden. Alone.

  Instead, I worked into the small hours, returning everything back to where it belonged, ensuring we had a smooth transition back to business as usual on Monday morning. The hired tables and chairs needed to be stacked and returned, and I was pretty sure we’d used every utensil and plate we had in the place.

  With the place empty but for Paige, Jason, and Sophie working in the kitchen, I stood on my own in the courtyard, the lights twinkling around me. I let out a heavy sigh. Despite the challenges the night had thrown at me, there was something about this place. Sure, Ryan had made it look extra special with the way he’d hung the lights, and the wedding ceremony was utterly beautiful. But there was something else about it, something that brought a sense of calm over me.

  Something that made me feel I was home.

  “We’re all done out here.” Paige was standing at the courtyard entranceway. “Did you want some help packing up the lights?”

  “No, it’s late. I think we can leave them for now. Addi said she still hasn’t sublet the place, so there’s no rush.” I shrugged. “And I kinda like it like this.”

  Paige smiled. “
It’s pretty magical.” She looked around the courtyard. “Cassie and Will loved their wedding here. Marquee disasters aside, I think this all worked out just great.” She yawned, putting her hand over her mouth. “Well, I’m beat. I’ll see you Monday.” She turned and walked through the archway back into the café.

  As I looked around the courtyard, a seed of an idea began to sprout and grow. A couple of butterflies tentatively batted their wings inside. I began to envisage the space around me as something else, something new. Not just an empty courtyard at the back of a florist, not just a space for my good friends to marry.

  “Paige?” I called out.

  She stopped, turned and looked at me. “What’s up?”

  I bit back a smile threatening the corners of my mouth. “I know this is usually your domain, but I think I’ve got an idea.”

  Chapter 25

  AFTER DAYS OF WORKING our butts off with running the café and working on my idea Paige loved just as much as I did, Saturday the twenty-sixth came around all too quickly. And now, as I stood on the beach with Dan’s family where we’d scattered his ashes three years ago, it seemed like another life.

  Josh stood at my side and looked out to sea, the waves lapping gently at the shore the only sound. “Wow, it’s hard to believe it’s been three years, Ned. Three years since you missed that jump, since you decided to break your fall with your skull.”

  I smiled weakly at Josh’s dark humor, my throat tight, tears threatening my eyes.

  “Hey, man, did I tell you I’ve met a girl? Her name’s Paige, and she is amazing.” His face broke into a smile, his eyes lighting up. “I think you’d like her.” He paused and took a breath. “Actually, bro, I know you’d like her. I . . . I wish you two could have met.”

  I put my hand on his arm, and he shot me a grateful look. “You’re right. He would have loved Paige.”

  Josh turned his head. “Mom?”

  Meredith stepped forward, a bouquet of flowers in one hand. She stood in silence, her head down. A seagull squawked overhead.

  Eventually, she spoke. “Oh, my darling Daniel. I’m so happy we’re here with you at your favorite beach. I remember how you used to run up to the waves then scream, running back to us, a huge smile on your young face. You would have only been about three or four.” She pressed her lips together. “I miss you so, so much, my darling son.” My heart squeezed at the crack in her voice. “There’s . . .” she glanced at her husband, George, “there’s nothing more to say.”