Dirty Secret Baby

by Alycia Taylor

  “Well, Bobby is going to be back soon. I think it’s best that he doesn’t see all your things in my room. Maybe take some of it back down. We don’t want to get his hopes up for nothing.”

  “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “I mean I think you should go back to the basement.”

  “Really?” she asked.

  “Are you going to tell me what happened today?” I asked her. I would give her one last chance to prove herself to me.

  She sighed. She didn’t say anything at first. She just shuffled from one foot to the other. When she finally spoke, I thought she was going to be honest with me. Instead, she just shook her head. “Nothing happened. I just got distracted. I’m sorry about not getting your lunch.”

  “Really? Do you really think this has anything to do with my lunch? Dammit, Savannah, this has nothing to do with that. If you won’t tell me, then I think it’s best that you go back down to the basement. It’s a pity really because things were going so well between us. But I cannot be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t trust me. And you’ve made it pretty clear that you don’t trust me at all.”

  “But . . .”

  “Just go, Savannah.”

  I walked to the kitchen to make myself a drink, and I listened to the sound of Savannah moving her things back down.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Savannah

  Going back to the basement made me feel like I was being punished. Like a child who had done something wrong. It felt right though. It was where I deserved to be. I was angry at myself for not speaking to Axel. But he didn’t understand how difficult it was for me. I’d spent such a big portion of my life fending for myself and having nobody to turn to. There was a lot about me that he didn’t know—and a lot that I didn’t want him to know. I hadn’t expected to go out for lunch that day and to bump into my past. I wanted to do everything in my power to move away from that side of my life, and the less he knew about it, the better. I didn’t want him getting involved, or worst of all, getting hurt. I would never forgive myself. There were people in my old life that were unforgiving and dangerous, and I wanted to move on from that. But still, waking up in the basement instead of in Axel’s arms had been difficult. It had made me wonder if I had done the right thing. I felt like I was always trying to do the right thing and that I was always failing.

  Now, I had ruined things. I should’ve just talked to him about it. But now he was angry with me and telling him would just make it worse. I lay in bed for a long time, wondering if he would perhaps come in. But, of course, he never did. I got up, took a shower, and gingerly made my way to the kitchen. Part of me wished that Bobby wasn’t there. I didn’t want him to have to suffer because of my mistakes. But part of me was also glad that he was there. With Bobby there, it was a lot easier to pretend. We would be forced to at least pretend to be happy for his sake.

  When I walked in, Bobby was sitting with Axel at the kitchen table. They each had a piece of the newspaper in their hands. Axel was looking at the sports section, and Bobby was looking the cartoons. The sight of them together turned my stomach into a knot. I felt the emotions well up inside me. For a moment, I just stood there watching them before either of them had seen me. I wanted to capture that moment forever. I knew the moment Axel looked my way, it would be ruined. I wasn’t wrong. Bobby saw me first and grinned at me. But Axel didn’t offer me nearly as kind of a look.

  “Morning, Mommy!”

  “Morning, my darling. Did you sleep well?”

  “Yes! I always sleep well. And I had a dream you and Daddy got married! You were wearing this big white dress, and I was in a suit. And there was a dog. Maybe we can get a dog?” he said and looked up at me hopefully.

  My stomach churned. I avoided looking at Axel and focused solely on Bobby. I forced myself to smile even though I wasn’t feeling happy at all. Was Bobby dreaming about me getting married because it was what he really wanted? Was he that desperate for a normal family? I felt so sad for him then. And sad for me too. I’d ruined all my chances.

  “Hmm, we’ll see. Definitely not right now. There’s too much going on. But I’ll think about it. I promise.”

  “It will be so much fun, Mommy. Dogs are so cute.”

  “I know. And I will think about it. But not just yet, okay? Mommy has a few things she has to sort out first. Now, let me make some breakfast. Who wants?”

  “We’ve eaten already. We got up early. I had cereal with so much milk my cereal was swimming in it. It was so funny. Pop is coming to get me soon. I can’t wait. We’re going to spend the whole day together, and we’re going to visit Stacy again. I think she’s starting to know me.”

  “That’s good. Give her a kiss for me, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  I made breakfast while Bobby continued chatting away. In the whole time I’d been there, Axel had not said a single word to me. He just carried on with drinking his coffee and looking at his newspaper. When I turned to look at him, I saw that he was still on the same page from when I had first walked in, so I knew he wasn’t really reading anything at all. I wished he would at least acknowledge me, but I supposed I deserved the treatment. I wanted him to look my way so that I could at least mouth an apology to him, but he continued to look down. Pop arrived, and Bobby went running out the house without so much at a glance our way. The moment he was gone, I thought about saying something to Axel, but he had walked out the room to get ready for work. I finished my breakfast and got my things. I climbed into my car and followed him to work with a sense of dread weighing down on me.

  When we got to work, Spike made a joke about us actually being on time this morning. Normally the two of us would’ve laughed and had something to say back, but things were so frosty between us that neither of us bothered to even answer him.

  “Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise?” Spike asked.

  He obviously expected one of us to laugh or to comment back, but Axel didn’t say anything, and I just shot daggers his way before heading to the office. I wondered if the two of them would be talking about me as I left. I wanted to talk to Axel, but I didn’t want to beg him to speak to me either. The longer the two of us didn’t say anything to each other, the worse things between us seemed to get. I had no idea how we were going to keep pretending in front of Bobby. I thought back to the morning before and how wonderful things had been between us. I’d ruined it all. Just because I didn’t want to involve Axel in my previous life. Was I doing the right thing or was I once again making a huge mistake? I never knew what to do anymore. I sat down at my desk and opened up the computer. The only thing that I could do at the moment was to work and to try and forget about everything.

  The day went by relatively fast. There was thankfully plenty to do to help keep my mind off of everything. I was glad because I was not in the right frame of mind to think about everything. Every now and again, a thought would creep in, and I would push it aside. Axel didn’t come into the office once. Spike came in once looking for something and briefly asked me if everything was okay. I shrugged it off and told him I was just tired and he didn’t ask me anything further. I liked Spike. He was a good guy, and I was glad that Axel had been friends with him for so long. I still remembered him from six years ago. He was still the same Spike from then, only a bit more mature now.

  As the day was drawing to a close, I started to wonder if Axel was ever going to speak to me again. I thought about how awkward things were going to be at home that evening and wondered if I should go in and talk to him before heading home. I was so deep in thought that I jumped up at the sound of bikes pulling up outside the shop. I was used to the sound of bikes, but not so many at once. I wondered if there was something going on that I didn’t know about. I got up and peered out the window, and my heart almost stopped at the sight of the XMC guys outside. What were they doing there? I backed away and tried to figure out what to do with myself. I decided that I couldn’t walk out alone. I needed Axel by my side. No matter how upset he was wi
th me, he was still the first person that I thought of turning to.

  I rushed out to find Axel and then stopped short when I saw him standing in front of Duke. The two of them looked like they were just about to start a fight with each other. I looked at Spike, who seemed to be frozen on the spot just like me. Shit! Shit! Shit!

  Chapter Nineteen

  Axel

  I groaned when I saw the man standing in front of me. He’d barged in through the side of the shop and had taken me by surprise. I’d heard the bikes approaching, but I hadn’t given it much thought. I often heard bikes driving up to the shop. I knew who it was the moment I saw him. He’d been the not so delightful man I’d seen at XMC when we’d gone to grab Savannah’s things the first time. I should’ve known he’d be trouble. I had only wished that Savannah had given me a bit of warning. I wondered if this is what she didn’t want to tell me about. I had no idea that she was still in contact with the people at this club. What was she thinking? Why hadn’t she told me?

  “What do you want?” I said to the man who had walked up to me.

  “What do you mean? You know what I want, so don’t act like you don’t. Do you even know who I am?” he said.

  I raised my eyebrows. “Yeah, I remember.”

  “You’re Axel,” he said.

  I laughed. “Hmm, what gave that away? The big sign above my shop window?”

  “Don’t be rude to me, boy. I’m Duke. You know that name?”

  “Not at all. Why? Should I? What are you? Famous?”

  “Oh, I’m famous alright. And if you don’t listen to what I say, I’ll make sure that everyone who knows me comes after you. You do not want to mess with me because I will make your life a living hell if you do. It’s happened many times before, and people always regret it. Look behind me, boy; I have a whole army with me.”

  I looked out at the men on their bikes behind Duke. I wasn’t all that intimated by them because I’d grown up around guys on bikes. I knew that the XMC guys were a lot rougher than the guys I was used to hanging around, but I knew that I wouldn’t let it stop me from standing up to him.

  “What do you want?” I said to him. “Because you’ve come to my shop to threaten me and I don’t even know who you are. You better tell me what you want before I kick you out of here.”

  “You and what army?”

  I realized that the only person I had in the shop was Spike, who was by far the least intimidating man you’ll ever meet, but I puffed my chest despite this. I would not let this man walk all over me. I would not be just another statistic to add to his list.

  “What do you want?” I said again.

  “Oh, come on, you know what I want. I want Savannah. She belongs to me and has no right being with you.”

  My blood ran cold at the mention of her name. I hated that Savannah had a man like this in her life. I thought about little Bobby, and I felt sick. I wanted this man gone out of my life and out of their lives for good.

  “Savannah has nothing to do with you. She’s with me now.”

  Duke laughed. He was clearly accustomed to being in control. He didn’t take kindly to me standing up to him. I wondered about his ‘army’ behind him and how many times they’d stood up to this horrible man. Probably never.

  “Savannah is not with you. She belongs to my group of people. Her father and I go way back. And I’m going to make sure that she stays with us. She made a mistake coming to you, and it’s time that she comes back home. We can do this with very little trouble if you want. Or, of course, we can do it with a lot of trouble. Your choice.”

  “Get the hell off my property,” I said. The heat had risen to my face, and I found myself stepping closer to Duke rather than walking away. I was generally not a very angry man, but when something made me angry, it was hard for me to let it go. There was no way that I was going to let something like this go easily. Not when it had to do with Savannah, no matter how angry I was with her at that moment.

  “Not until you tell me that you will stay away from my girl. I will leave when you tell me that.”

  “She’s not your girl,” I said. “And I think it’s about time that you realized that. She doesn’t belong to me just as much as she doesn’t belong to you. Now, if you don’t get off my property, I’m going to have to make you.”

  Duke laughed again. We both knew that if we had to fight, that I would come out last. Even if the group of men behind him didn’t get involved, I was no match for him. Duke was a big man, and it was clear to me that he had been in many fights before. It would be in my best interest to stay away from him, but there was no way that I was going to let him stand in my shop and talk to me that way.

  “You’re going to make me? Oh, I’d love to see you try.”

  I moved forward again and was just about to grab hold of him when Spike came up to us and tried to pull us away. Poor Spike wasn’t helping at all though, and I was worried that Duke was going to punch him.

  “Don’t worry, Spike,” I said. “I’ve got this.”

  “No!” Spike said loudly, and I was surprised by his tone. He didn’t like confrontation, and I was sure that this was not the sort of thing he was used to doing. I shot him a look to say that I was grateful that he was sticking up for me but that I didn’t want to get him involved. But the moment I looked at him, I saw Savannah standing in the corner. She had a surprised and fearful look on her face. I was about to shout at her to go back inside, but she came out anyway. She was clutching her phone.

  “Savannah!” I yelled.

  “Stop it. I have the cops on speed dial, and I’ll call them if you don’t both break it off.”

  “You don’t have to do that, Savannah,” Duke said.

  I knew why Savannah was using that tactic. Even my motorcycle club didn’t want anything to do with the cops. We’d had enough run-ins with them in the past, and they didn’t take kindly to our group. If my club didn’t want to get the cops involved, then I was sure that Duke’s club felt the same. In fact, they probably felt much stronger about it than we did. Duke looked at me, sighed, and stepped away, and I did the same. I could see Spike visibly relax.

  “This isn’t over,” Duke said to me.

  “Yes, I think you’ll find that it is over,” I said even though I knew that it wasn’t. Guys like Duke held grudges for a long time and didn’t easily let them go. “This is my shop, and Savannah is not your property. She’s her own person, and you have no right to come here and tell her otherwise.”

  Duke ignored me and looked at Savannah instead. “You know you don’t belong here,” he said to her.

  “Please go,” she whispered. I could hear how frightened she was and my heart broke into a million pieces at the sight of her. Had she always been frightened of this man? What had he done to her to make her feel that way? Had her last six years been like this?

  “You belong with me,” Duke said to her. “Me! I will come back, and I will get you. I don’t care what this stupid boy has to say about it. He’s nothing to me.”

  Duke spat at my feet, and I recoiled in disgust.

  “Get out of my shop,” I said to him.

  “You coming with?” Duke said to Savannah.

  I looked at her and was pleased when she shook her head. “No, I’m staying here,” she said. There was a defiance in her voice that was mingled in with the fear, and as angry as I was, I was still impressed that she was holding her ground. She was a strong woman, that was for sure.

  “Fine. But like I said, I’m not going to let this go. And Savannah, you should know that by now. You’ve known me for a long time. You know that I never let things go.”

  He walked away, and we all stood in silence as we watched the men climb back onto the bikes and ride off. The sound was deafening, and when they left, none of us knew what to do with ourselves. Spike was the first one to talk.

  “What the hell was that all about?” he said. “Who was that guy?”

  I sighed. “Member of the XMC. One of the friendliest men I’v
e ever met,” I said sarcastically.

  “Savannah what’s going on? Why did he come after you like that?”

  I turned around and looked at Savannah, and wondered if she was going to tell Spike the truth. I noticed that she was trembling.

  “Long story,” she said to Spike. “I’m sorry you had to be a part of this. Don’t worry. He won’t come after you. It’s me he wants.”

  “Come on, Savannah. I’m taking you home.”

  “No, it’s fine,” she said. “He’s gone.”

  “I’m taking you home,” I said again. This time I said it more firmly, and she didn’t argue. I looked at Spike. “Mind holding down the fort?”

  “Of course not. But shout if you need help with anything. I’ll let you know if there’s any more trouble here.”

  “Appreciate it,” I said and walked out with Savannah.

  She tried to get into her own car, but I made her get into mine. There was no way I was letting her go on her own. Thankfully she didn’t put up much of a fight. I don’t think she really wanted to be by herself either.

  “Axel . . .” she started.

  “Don’t,” I said. “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t care about this stupid man threatening me. I really don’t. What I do care about are you and my son. And I hate that you didn’t tell me about him. I hate that you didn’t tell me how bad this all really was. It’s not fair that you did this. And yeah, I know I wasn’t here for you for the past six years. I know you were all alone. But that’s not anybody’s fault but your own. I’m trying to be there for you, but you just won’t let me. Now, I don’t want to talk about it right now because I’m just too damn angry.”

  She didn’t say anything. We drove home the rest of the way in silence. I had no idea what to do or how I was going to protect her, but I knew that I was going to have to do something. My mind felt like it was going to explode and a deep-set headache was now knocking against me. I had never felt angrier in my whole life.