Dirty Secret Baby

by Alycia Taylor

  “That’s fine. I didn’t make a scene, did I? You don’t have to wake Bobby. I know he sleeps well. He won’t even know that we are gone. Why don’t you come to my bed then? I have a nice big bed for the two of us to share. Come on; I know you want to. That’s why you came back, isn’t it? You’re practically begging for it.”

  I resisted the urge to slap him. I had to stay level-headed and calm.

  “It’s late; I’m tired; I just want to go to sleep. And I don’t want Bobby to wake up and wonder where his mommy has gone to. So please, let me go back to sleep. We can talk more in the morning if you want.”

  “You know, I thought Axel was lying when he said he didn’t want you anymore, but maybe he wasn’t lying, after all. Who would want a frigid girl like you anyway? You’re nothing but a tease.”

  “I’m not teasing anyone,” I said as calmly as possible, but I could feel my resolve wearing thin. “And I really don’t care who wants me or not. I just want to get some sleep. All I want is some sleep.”

  “You know, I’m going to take him up on his offer.”

  “Offer?”

  “Don’t act dumb. I know you heard the whole conversation. Axel wants to race me. So I’m going to do that. If respect is what he wants, then respect is what he’ll get. He’ll see who the real man is. I am bigger and better than he is and I’m happy to prove it. And once and for all, you’re going to see that I am better than him.”

  “Good. I think you should,” I said. I knew there was no way he could beat Axel in a race. Axel was one of the best racers I knew. Duke just liked bikes. He wasn’t all that good at racing them. I’d seen him try before and it was pitiful. Even I could beat him, and I hadn’t raced in years.

  “But I’m not going to race him.”

  “What do you mean? I thought you just said you were.”

  He laughed, obviously pleased with himself. “Nah, not me. I’m going to get Jock to do it.”

  I groaned. Jock was a friend of Duke’s and part of the XMC. He was a good racer. Much better than Duke could ever hope to be.

  “Oh yeah? So you’re going to get someone else to do your dirty work for you? Why am I not surprised? This is exactly the sort of thing you always do. If you really want to prove yourself to Axel, you should do it yourself. You know that, don’t you?”

  Duke glared at me. I was worried that I had gone too far, but he just grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet and walked off. If we were living alone, I was sure that Duke would’ve done something to me a long time ago. They only reason I felt even remotely safe was because the house was filled with other people. Duke had to be careful about what he did because people were always watching and always talking. As the head of the house, though, he had more sway over everyone, and there was still a big chance that he would one day stop caring about all the eyes on him and do something anyway. I just had to hope that by then, I was out the house for good. I watched him walk away, glad that he was not in front of me anymore. I saw my moment and quickly went back into my room. I couldn’t lock the door, so I moved a sofa in front of it, doing my best not to make too much noise. I didn’t want to confront a drunk Duke in the middle of the night. He’d be mad if he knew I had blocked the door but I didn’t want to take any more chances. I listened for footsteps but I didn’t hear any, so I finally made my way back to the bed. I climbed inside and lay next to Bobby, grateful that he hadn’t woken up.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Axel

  “You did what?” Spike asked as we sat together on his balcony. I hadn’t wanted to go home, so I had gone right over to Spike’s house. I’d actually gone to Pop’s first, but he hadn’t been home, so I’d made my way to Spike’s and was grateful when he answered the door. The last thing I wanted was to walk around my house by myself. I needed someone to distract me, and Pop and Spike had been my first choice. I thought of phoning Dominic too, but I didn’t want to bother him with everything when he had a newborn to worry about and a wife who had just survived a scary pregnancy. The last thing I needed to do was to get him involved in all my dramas. We were drinking beer again on the balcony while I talked to him about my plan.

  “Yeah, I challenged him to a race,” I said.

  He whistled. “Smart move. Better than just going in there and taking Savannah.”

  “Yeah, I want to get her back fair and square. There’s no point taking her and just having Duke and his army of men after me. Although, if I could have done that, I would’ve. I wanted nothing more than to just barge in and steal her away from that horrible place, but I couldn’t.”

  “Good, that would’ve been the worst thing to do. That would’ve made him so mad. I’m not sure you would’ve even managed it, though. He has some strong men on his side.”

  “Exactly. I would’ve just made a fool of myself,” I said.

  “Must’ve been hard to see them there though. That could not have been easy. It’s a pity they came out like that.”

  I sighed. “Yeah, that was the hardest part of all. I wish they hadn’t been there. Bobby was screaming for me, and I barely looked at him. I knew if I did I would only betray my true feelings. I wanted Duke to think that I didn’t care about them. That I just wanted to beat him. He cares more about things like this than he does about family. But man, I was so close to just running in and hugging them. It was the worst thing ever to hear Bobby cry for me. I could hear that he didn’t understand why I was just ignoring him. It’s not fair that he has to go through all of this. I swear, Duke has no heart at all. The more Bobby cried, the happier it seemed to make him. It’s disgusting really.”

  “Sorry you had to go through that. That’s awful. But you’ve done the right thing. I just know it. This was the smartest move you could make. So, what did he say? Did he agree?”

  “He said he’ll think about it. I gave him my number. Now I’m just waiting for him to call back. I hope he calls back soon. The waiting is the worst part. And knowing him, he’ll want me to wait as long as possible.”

  “Think he’ll say yes?”

  “Yeah, I do, actually. He’s not one to turn down a challenge. He’ll say yes. I’m almost certain that he’s going to call me back and tell me that he wants to go ahead with it. If he says no, then it’s just going to make him look scared, and we all know that Duke does not want anyone to think he is scared.”

  “And what if he doesn’t? I mean, I’m sure he will too, but there’s always some chance that he won’t. You just never know.”

  I sighed. “Then I am going to need a brand-new plan. Either way, I’m not letting Savannah and Bobby go. Not when they’ve just come back into my life like this. I’m going to get them back. You’ll see.”

  “Oh, trust me, Axel, I have no doubt about it. You’re a good guy, and you’re going to do this. I’ll be there all the way. I don’t want Duke to win either. I hate it when men like him get away with things like this. It’s not fair.”

  I looked at Spike and smiled. He’d been such a good friend to me, but lately, everything had been about me. I didn’t even know what was going on in his life. I realized then what a shitty friend I had been to him. I couldn’t remember when I’d last spoken to him about something other than my own life.

  “Anyway, enough about all of that. I’m sick of talking about it, and I’m sure you are sick of hearing about it. So, what’s going on in your life? Made any progress with Keri?” I asked.

  “Dude, we don’t have to talk about this. I know you have a lot on your mind,” he said.

  “Oh, I want to. In fact, I could think of nothing better than getting my mind off Duke. Until I hear from him, there’s really nothing I can do. Seriously, I’m sick to death of even speaking his name. The more we talk about him, the more power we give the guy, and he really does not need any more of that. Let’s put him out of our mind for a while. So, come on, tell me about Keri. Or have you been too chicken to ask her to marry you?”

  Spike laughed. “Actually, she said yes.”

  I sa
t up and looked at him. I couldn’t believe that I was only hearing about this now for the first time. I really had been an awful friend. This was definitely something I should’ve known about. “What? You asked her, and you didn’t even tell me? Are you serious?”

  “Well, you’ve sort of had a lot going on, you know. I didn’t feel right telling you. I mean here I am with all these good things happening while all these shitty things are happening to you. I felt bad bringing it up. Sorry.”

  “Spike, just because shitty things are happening to me doesn’t mean I want the same for you.”

  “Thanks, Axel. I know you wouldn’t have minded, but it still felt weird telling you. I would’ve eventually, of course.”

  “So, you really asked her? Wow. That’s amazing news. How did you do it?”

  “I thought about a million and one elaborate plans, but then when it came down to it, I decided to stop trying so hard and to just focus on what was really important. Keri is such a down to earth girl; I knew she would appreciate something a bit more from the heart, you know. So, I took her for a ride on my bike, and we had a picnic at this clearing with the most amazing view. I’d been there once before, and I had always wanted to take her there. And I simply asked her there. It was very sweet and very romantic. And she said yes. Thank god for that.”

  “Of course she said yes. There was no doubt in my mind that she would’ve said yes to you. You guys are perfect for each other. Hell, the two of you have always given me hope that something good exists. I’m so happy for you, Spike. This is great news. And you really should’ve told me. Don’t think you can’t tell me things. And don’t worry, things might be shitty for me now, but I’m going to make sure to get her back. I want what you have. And I’m not going to rest until I get it.”

  “So, Savannah is the one, huh?”

  “Oh yeah. Definitely.”

  “Finally. I thought you were a lost cause before she came around.”

  I laughed. “You and me both.”

  “This is so strange. In all the years we’ve been working together and been friends, we’ve never really talked about serious things like this.”

  I chuckled. “That’s true. We could talk about bikes for hours on end, but when it came to anything of the heart, we’d both just clam up. Typical men. And, as much as I hate to admit it, this is actually nice.”

  He smiled. “Yeah. It is. Doing it with beer certainly helps though.”

  We sat for a little bit longer, discussing love, life and everything else. We were on our second beer when my phone rang, and I jumped up in surprise. I knew Duke would call me back, but I had no idea how long he would take to do it.

  “Hello,” I said into the phone.

  “Axel. It’s Duke.”

  “Thanks for calling me back,” I said. “So, have you given my proposal any more thought?” I figured there was no point in beating around the bush. It wasn’t like Duke had called me to be friendly with me, and I had no intentions of being friendly with him either.

  “I sure have. And yes, the challenge is on.”

  Relief flooded through me even though I was sure he was going to say yes. I knew until I heard him agree, I wouldn’t be able to rest.

  “Good. I’m glad. I was hoping you would say yes.” I looked at Spike and gave him a big thumbs up, and he held up his beer in salute.

  “But I have a condition.”

  “Sure, what is it?” I asked even though I had a feeling I knew what he was going to say.

  “Jock is going to be racing instead of me.”

  I smiled. I thought as much. I nodded. “Fine. Whatever you want. It doesn’t matter to me one bit. I’ll send you a location and date.”

  “See you there. Good luck,” Duke said and laughed. “You’ll need it.”

  I put the phone down and told Spike about Jock.

  He frowned. “Why are you smiling? Isn’t that bad news? I thought you wanted to race Duke. Wasn’t that the plan all along?”

  “I knew Duke wouldn’t race me. The guy is beyond useless. He’s all talk. The only thing he relies on in his life is his muscles, and that can only take him so far. I wanted to race Jock. I’ve raced him before, and I’ve won. Yeah, he’s good, but I know exactly what to expect with him. Also, racing Jock is a much better option for me when it comes to my sponsors. Winning against Jock will gain me much more money to replace at least some of those bikes. I’m going to replace them all, of course, and the insurance and sponsor money will help. Those bikes aren’t cheap. Also, by humiliating Duke and Jock, I can hopefully get Savannah and Bobby back. It’s all about that respect I was talking about. I want to win her back fair and square.”

  Spike smiled. “You’ve got this, man. You’ve thought it through. And I know what you’re like. If you have something on your mind like this, you’ll use it to better yourself in the race. That will be just the fuel you need to win. I know you can do it.”

  I grinned. “I know I can too. I’m going to get my family back. Nothing is going to stop me from getting this.”

  The race was set for a few days’ time, and I was literally counting down the hours. I couldn’t wait to get Savannah and Bobby back into my life again. Later that day, I walked around the house, getting it ready for their arrival. Mostly I just wanted something to do to keep me occupied. I cleaned the house and put on some music. Every time a love song came on, I felt my heart constrict. I’d never cared much for songs like that before, and I’d always laughed when people felt emotional at them. But I got them now. A song came on, and the words resonated with me. You never know what you have until it’s gone.

  I sat down and looked around the house. I could make as much noise as I wanted, and it would still feel quiet in the house without them. I couldn’t believe how quickly my life had changed since they had come into it. I missed them more with every passing minute. And as I sat there, I knew exactly what I wanted. I thought of Spike and Keri. I thought of Dominic and Candice. I wanted that. I wanted to be a family. I wanted a future with them. And maybe, just maybe, we could have another child, and I could be there for the birth this time. Mostly, I just wanted a chance to be whole again. Spike was right; I was going to use these emotions to get me to the finish line before Jock. I was going to win.

  Chapter Thirty

  Savannah

  Life in the house had been interesting since Axel had challenged Duke to the challenge. Hordes of people had come in and out, which meant that Duke was at least too busy to worry about me or Bobby. I saw some familiar faces, some that I hadn’t seen in a very long time. There were some people that I was happy to see and others that I never wanted to see again in my life. Two people stood out to me. The first was a good friend of Duke’s and a man I had always hated. He and my father had never seen eye to eye. He’d walked in and grinned at me, licking his lips as he looked at me up and down.

  “Good to see you again, Savannah. It’s been too long. I forgot how much I always liked you. That’s what I miss about this place. The eye candy.”

  I frowned. I was currently the only woman in the house. It was clear that he meant me and nobody else. I didn’t say anything. I continued making the food in the kitchen for Bobby and myself and tried not to look his way. He’d gotten older and uglier. I wanted to tell him how much he disgusted me, but I held the thoughts to myself.

  “Making some food for me are you?” he leered.

  “I’m making food for myself and Bobby,” I said.

  He laughed. “Ah, nothing has changed has it?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You. You haven’t changed. You were always the feisty one. Then again, that’s what I always liked about you. I should think about coming back here. Might be a little bit more fun now that your father isn’t around watching everyone.”

  I held onto the knife that I was using to cut the bread and glared at him.

  “My father is dead. Please don’t be disrespectful towards him. You have no right talking about him or me in that way.” />
  He laughed. “Okay, okay. You got me there. I won’t say anything more. You can put down that knife too. You’re holding it a bit too tightly,” he said and laughed, but I could sense a bit of nervousness in his tone. “But if you ever want a bit of company around here, you know who to call. Okay?”

  I sighed. Did he really think I would call him? The men in this house were clearly delusional. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. If things didn’t work out with Axel coming to get me, then I was going to have to start devising a plan to leave. I would leave the country if I had to. Anything to get away from this. These men were not healthy for Bobby. I didn’t want him to grow up with them as his role models.

  The following day, another group of people came in. This time I breathed a sigh of relief to see an old friend of mine. Eva was married to one of the men in the club. They’d stayed in the house for a while and her, and I had gotten close. There weren’t often many women in the club, and it had been such a welcome relief to me. She was a good woman too, not like some of the others I sometimes came across. She grinned when she saw me and immediately came running up to greet me.

  “I thought you had left this place,” she said. “That’s what I heard at least.”

  “She came back,” Duke said out of nowhere. “Isn’t that right, Savannah? You missed your old man too much.”

  I nodded tersely. “Yep, I came back. It’s so good to see you, Eva.”

  “You too. You’ve lost so much weight. Too much,” she said to me with a worried look on her face. “Uh, do you want to go for a walk? Like we used to? I feel like some fresh air.”

  I looked at Duke, but he shook his head.

  “Uh, maybe we can talk in my room rather? We can watch a movie while the men talk.”

  She could see that something was wrong and that I didn’t want to talk about it front of Duke. So she grinned.

  “Movie sounds a lot more interesting to me.”

  We walked off arm in arm, and we heard Duke muttering something about ‘women will be women’ or something derogatory. When we were safely in my room, I turned to look at her.