Dirty Secret Baby

by Alycia Taylor

  “Lucky? What do you mean?”

  “I miss my job, man. That’s lucky. I don’t think there are many people out there who enjoy what they do as much as we do. Some people might’ve been happy that something like this happened, but all I can think about is that I miss working in the shop. It was the place for me to go to when I wanted to clear my head. I don’t want time off. I want the shop again.”

  “Which means I’m lucky to have someone like you working for me. You’re right; I miss the place too. We had a good thing going there. But don’t worry; we’ll get it back. I’m working on it.”

  “Any news on Savannah and Bobby?”

  “I’m working on that too. I have a plan.”

  “Good. I knew you’d think of something. Need back up?””

  I smiled at the thought of the skinny Spike trying to come to my aid. I really was lucky to have someone like that working for me. I had a great job and a friend that was willing to stand up to me despite the obvious consequences. I thought of the way he had stood up to Duke that day in the shop and how he’d tried to pull us apart. A lesser man would’ve run away immediately at the sight of all those men on the bikes. Not Spike.

  “Nah, I’m good. Thanks so much though, Spike. I appreciate it. I’ll call you soon though.”

  “Good luck, Axel.”

  I put the phone down and lay in bed a bit longer. I looked around the room and wondered when the place had gotten too quiet for me. I used to love living alone. When I’d first gotten the house I’d enjoyed the peace and quiet. I remembered thinking that I would never want to live with anyone ever again. Especially not a child. But I missed them so much. I missed waking up early and finding Bobby sitting alone at the kitchen table with his toys. I missed our early talks before Savannah woke up. I missed seeing her smiling face. Life was simply not worth living without them. I had no idea how unfulfilling my life was until they had come into it. I finally knew what Dominic had gone through when he wanted to be with Candice. He’d gone through a lot to be with her, even getting sent to jail because of Candice’s father. I hadn’t ever fully understood why he would put his life in danger because of a woman, until now. I couldn’t wait to get her back and to spend an evening with Candice, Dominic, and Stacy. We had more in common with them then we realized.

  I climbed out of bed and made my way to the kitchen. I hadn’t even eaten much since Savannah had left but I suddenly felt ravenous. I poured cereal into a big bowl and poured milk over, thinking of Bobby the whole way. There were a lot of things like this. Small, simple things that would immediately make me think about Savannah and Bobby. In such a short space of time, they had left such a bit imprint in my life. Soon, we’d be eating cereal together; I just knew it.

  Afterwards, I made a cup of coffee and then took a long shower. I wanted to feel ready to talk to Duke that day. Once my morning routine was done, I climbed onto my bike and rode over to the XMC clubhouse. I still remembered the day I’d come there with Savannah to get her things. I remembered the way Duke had looked at me then. I should’ve known then that he wasn’t just going to let her go so easily. I should’ve known that trouble was brewing. Well, I was going to be the one that caused the trouble this time. It was him that had to watch out for me.

  I stood in front of the house, just watching it. Even from the outside, the place looked menacing to me, but I assumed that was because I knew what was going on inside. I felt desperate to go in and just pull her out, but I knew that would only cause more problems for all of us. I was outnumbered here, and Duke’s army would not take too kindly to me barging in. So I stood and waited patiently. I knew that eventually someone would make a move and come out. The house was a big white building that hadn’t been painted or cleaned in a long time. Because of this, the white had turned into a light grayish brown color, and there was mold along the walls. I remembered Savannah telling me how she would try and clean the place every day just so that Bobby would feel proud of where he lived. I hated the idea of the two of them in a place like that. A place nobody took any pride in. This was not the sort of house that Bobby should be growing up in. He was sheltered as a baby, but he was old enough now to be truly affected by it all.

  It was the guard who saw me first. I frowned when I saw him. There hadn’t been a guard that first time I had come around. I wondered why he was there and had a sinking suspicion that he was there to make sure Savannah didn’t go out. She was a prisoner in her own home, and I felt sick of the thought of it. What was she doing in there? Just sitting in her room with Bobby? The two of them must have been going out of their minds. The guard stared at me. He was a big guy with a constant frown on his face. I couldn’t imagine how boring his job must be, just standing there. At least I was giving him a bit of action for the day. He continued to stare at me. So I waved back at him. I offered him a smile, which I knew would just infuriate me. If he had come along that day that Duke had come to my shop, then he would’ve recognized me.

  “What do you want?” he asked me when he realized I wasn’t going anywhere.

  “I’m here to see Duke.”

  “Duke is busy.”

  I smiled. “No problem. I’ll wait. I am in no rush at all.” I got off my bike and leaned against it, looking at the guard and smiling the whole time. I wanted him to know that I was serious and that I wasn’t scared of him. I was clearly outnumbered at the house, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. Duke needed to know that I was serious.

  The guard continued to stare at me, then we went back inside. I could see movement at the front door. Moments later, Duke appeared. Apparently, he wasn’t really busy at all. As he came out, I saw Savannah and Bobby appear at the door. My heart almost leaped out of my chest when I caught sight of the two of them. I had hoped that I could do this without seeing them. Bobby screamed for me, and Savannah had to hold him back. It took all of my might not to go in and pick Bobby up and tell him that everything was going to be okay. Bobby was not going to understand why I wasn’t going in to save him. But I was there to save him; I just had to do it in a different way. I was here to talk to Duke and to sort things out once and for all. I would explain it all to Bobby when it was over.

  Duke came out the house with a swagger and a smile. He didn’t seem to care at all about the fact that Bobby was crying behind him. He clearly thought it was funny that I had come to his territory. I hated that stupid smile on his face. When he got close to me, I noticed that his teeth were yellow and that is breath smelt oddly of tuna. I took a step back.

  “Well, well, well, what do we have here? I thought you might try and come back, but you do realize that is a very stupid move, right? I thought you would be a bit smarter than that. And,” he said as he looked around, “I see you came all by yourself. You don’t even have back up. That is a silly thing to do. You know, you have some nerve showing up at my house. If you think you’re coming to get Savannah back, then you are sorely mistaken. She came here by herself. I didn’t even make her come here. She’s made her decision, and that is final.”

  I tried not to look at Savannah. I could see her still struggling with Bobby out of the corner of my eye. I wished that she would go inside. I could see her struggling to hold Bobby in place. He wanted to run to me just like I wanted to run to him. I had to remind myself that I was doing this for them. I nodded at Duke.

  “Duke, I know exactly what kind of man you are,” I said.

  “Oh yeah? And what is that exactly?”

  “You’re the sort of man that wants respect.”

  “You got that right.” He seemed pleased by my observation, just as I knew he would.

  “But how do you expect to get respect from anyone when you go around burning buildings and stealing other men’s sons? That is not exactly what I call deserving of respect, and you know it.”

  “Why the hell should I care about what you say? You’re nothing to me. Nothing at all,” Duke yelled, but I could see that I had hit a nerve. I had said exactly the right thing. Duke looked li
ke he was just about to punch me in the face though, so I stepped back and waved a hand in front of my face to calm him down.

  “Look, I don’t want Savannah.”

  “What? I don’t believe it. Why are you here then?”

  “It’s something Spike said to me actually,” I lied.

  “Who the hell is Spike?”

  “The guy from my shop. The one that tried to pull us apart.”

  “Oh, that little runt of a man,” Duke said and laughed.

  “Oh yeah,” I said and tried to stop myself from biting back at him. Spike was more of a man than he would ever be but now was not the time to tell him that. “Well, anyway, he’s the one that told me that I shouldn’t go after a woman from the opposing team. You guys are our rivals and being with Savannah breaks protocol. And, she came back, like you said. It’s clear she doesn’t really want to be with me. Why would I want to be with someone that doesn’t even want to be with me? Nah, I deserve better than that.”

  Duke narrowed his eyes as if trying to figure out if he should believe me or not. The thing with Duke was that he was not a very smart man. I should’ve realized this a long time ago. The only way he knew how to deal with things was to fight. But if you wanted to win against him, you had to get him with words. Eventually, he nodded and a smile spread on his face.

  “You’re right. That’s what I keep telling her. She belongs to me. We don’t let people go that easily. We don’t mix blood. She’s ours, and she will stay ours. I’m glad you finally figured that out. Don’t worry; we’ll take good care of her,” he sneered. “So, why are you here then? Just to tell me that?”

  I shook my head. “No, that’s not why I’m here. I’m here to offer you a chance for respect. Something I am sure you want from me and from everyone around me.”

  “What exactly is that supposed to mean?” he asked as he breathed his fish breath on me. I tried not to gag at the smell of it.

  “If respect is what you want, then I can offer if to you. With a race. I challenge you to a race. And if you win, then you will gain the respect of not just your club, but of mine too. If I win, you leave us alone, and Savannah and Bobby come with me.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Savannah

  “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay,” I said to Bobby.

  The two of us were back in our room, and I was having a hard time calming Bobby down. Ever since he’d seen Axel, he had not stopped crying. There didn’t seem to be anything that I could do to help the situation either. Bobby was beside himself. I didn’t blame him. Seeing Axel had been hard for me too. I was only trying to be brave for Bobby.

  “Why didn’t he come and see us?” Bobby asked.

  He’d already asked me this, and I had already explained, but Bobby could not understand why his daddy had come here and had not come to get him. Axel had averted his eyes from us throughout the entire confrontation, and Bobby couldn’t understand it. I knew, of course, that Axel was only trying to protect us. If he came in to get us, he would’ve only caused my trouble. I knew he had only done the best. But Bobby didn’t like it no matter how many times I tried to explain.

  Seeing Axel had taken the wind out of me. I knew how much I missed him. I knew because I thought about him every single day. But seeing him there made it so much worse. It had taken all my might not to just run out and wrap my arms around him. I still wasn’t sure what he was planning, but he’d challenged Duke to a race, so he clearly had a plan. I pulled Bobby towards me and wiped his tears away.

  “Don’t worry, my darling. Everything is going to be fine.” I wasn’t sure what to say to him. I didn’t want to get his hopes up. I didn’t know how to feel about it myself. I hadn’t come here so that Axel could come and save us. I had come here to get away from Axel to keep him safe. Now, Axel was throwing all that aside. I was happy, I was touched, but I was also scared. I hoped that whatever he planned on doing didn’t just end up making things worse for us. But Axel was a smart man, and he wouldn’t put Bobby in danger. That was surely why he hadn’t come up to us when Bobby was crying at the door. He was being smart about it. I had to just have faith that everything was going to be fine.

  “Where’s Daddy? Why isn’t he here?” Bobby cried.

  I didn’t answer him anymore. I realized now that there was no point. I just held him against me and let him cry. I could hear Duke walking around the house, snapping at everyone. Something about the exchange with Axel had set him on edge, and he was not in a very good mood. I just hoped that he wouldn’t come into my room. I wanted to close the door, but I knew that would only make it worse. He hated it when I closed the door. I heard his footsteps getting louder and I shut my eyes tightly. I knew he would be in the room soon.

  “Listen here, Bobby, I want you to stop crying. I can hear you from my bedroom all the way across the hall. You need to stop crying. If you don’t, I will make you stop, and you don’t want me to do that, my boy. So quit your whining and stop being such a baby.”

  I didn’t care what Duke said to me. I was old enough and tired enough to simply let his words run off me. But I would not let him talk to my Bobby in that way. I stood up and looked at him, not at all frightened by how much bigger he was than me.

  “You do not have a right to talk to my son that way. He’s only crying because of you. How can you be so cruel? He’s a good boy, and you know it. So don’t you dare tell him to stop crying when he’s upset. He never cries. Say whatever you want to me. I came back, didn’t I? Just like you wanted me to. But the only thing I will not put up with is you shouting at my son for no reason. Now, if you don’t mind, I want you to get out of my room. And, we are going to close this door so that we can have some peace and quiet.”

  “You don’t get to talk to me like that,” he said.

  I nodded. “I won’t talk to you like that if you leave me alone. Please go.”

  Duke walked out the room, muttering to himself, and I shut the door behind him. The moment the door was closed, I felt better. I rushed over to Bobby and took him in my arms.

  “You see? There’s nothing to worry about. Mommy is here. This is our room, and nobody needs to be in here except you and me. I’m sorry about what happened my darling. I’m sorry. But everything is going to be fine. You have to trust me. Come on, let’s watch some TV.”

  I put the TV on, and the two of us climbed under the blankets and watched cartoons. I could see that Bobby wasn’t really watching but it was at least something to keep his mind off everything. I wanted nothing more than to call Axel and ask him what was going on, but Duke had taken my phone away the moment I’d come back to the house. Why had I come here? Why had I thought this was a good idea? But I knew that if I hadn’t come here on my own accord, Duke would have found a way to get me anyway. No matter what, I would’ve ended up here. I thought about Axel. Did I want him to come and save me? Of course I did. But I just wasn’t sure if it was possible without someone getting hurt. And that thought scared me more than being here.

  We stayed like that for a long time, just watching TV. I was hungry, but I didn’t want to go out to the kitchen. Luckily, I had thought about it beforehand and had stashed some fruit and a box of cereal for us. There was a tiny little fridge where I kept milk and juice. I made us both a cereal dinner, and we ate in front of the TV. I tried not to think about eating cereal in Axel’s kitchen. The one good thing about this bedroom was that I had my own bathroom. It had been the only thing I had asked my father for when he was still alive. There had been someone else living in this room at the time, but he had made sure that they moved out so that I could get it. There was no way I was going to live in a house filled with men without having my bathroom for Bobby and me. So, after dinner, we took a bath, got into our pajamas, and got back into bed. It felt like all we were doing was sleeping lately.

  I was grateful when Bobby fell to sleep quickly that night. It saved me from having to answer any more questions about Axel. He kept repeating the same questions over and over, and I
was starting to battle to come up with answers for him. He had tired himself out with all his crying, and when he closed his eyes, he fell immediately to sleep. I lay there for a long time, just watching him. I had always loved watching Bobby sleep. There was something so unbelievably peaceful about watching your child safe and sound next to you. At least when he was asleep, I knew that nothing could happen to him. I was just about to close my eyes when I heard my door open. I lay there in shock while I waited to see who it was. When Duke’s head appeared around the door, I groaned. I got quietly out of bed and put my finger to my mouth. I walked out and closed the door behind me.

  “What are you doing here?” I hissed. How dare he come into my room at night. I was so angry that I felt my body literally vibrating with anger. He was starting to get pushier now with me, and I didn’t like it. I knew that Duke could have his way with me if he really wanted to. I would fight it for all I was worth, but it didn’t mean I wasn’t scared that he would one day just have his way with me. I hated how much bigger he was than me. For now, I’d just have to act big and hope that I got away with it.

  “This is my house; I can do whatever I want and go wherever I want.” I could smell the alcohol on his breath. This was not the best time to try and reason with Duke. He’d never been one to handle his alcohol well. And I had noticed since coming back that he was drinking a lot more than he used to. My father hadn’t been a drinker, and because of that, many of the other residents didn’t drink either. My father always said that alcohol blurred someone’s vision and he wanted to always know exactly what he was doing at all times. Duke used to drink regardless, but he kept it mostly in check over the years. Since my father died, he had stopped caring. He was still steady on his feet though, so thankfully he wasn’t completely wasted yet.

  “It’s night time. Bobby is sleeping, and I really don’t want to wake him. You shouldn’t have come into my room.”