by Alexa Davis
He wanted me, I wanted him, and finally, we were just going for it.
Why did I even consider letting this night pass without this happening? It would have been a perfectly amiable night, a nice end to our time together, but this was so much better.
Screw feelings; those were Future Eliza’s problems. Present Eliza was having the time of her life. I was about to lose my freaking mind over this amazing guy.
I grabbed at Milo’s clothes, tugging his t-shirt up over his head. As my hands trailed over his impressive chest once more, a loud moan escaped my throat. I was so worked up, so on edge that I never would have managed to sleep anyway; this was the only way.
I would have to confess to Laynee that she was right about everything... I was going to have to deal with her smug face all day long tomorrow.
Milo shed my clothes in a blur, making my head spin and leaving me standing in front of him totally naked. As he slid his own jeans down, he blatantly ran his eyes all over my body, a dark desire filling his eyes. Again, I didn’t want to shy away from him. I just wanted him to keep on looking, which was such a novel feeling for me. I loved it. I enjoyed the confidence he instilled in me; it made everything feel that much better.
“Get onto the bed,” he commanded as he finally unleashed his thick, throbbing erection. “I need you there.”
But again, I found that need to stand out in his mind, to be better than anyone he’d ever had before. He seemed to me like he’d spent his whole life getting his own way and I liked that he couldn’t have that with me. I enjoyed being the one in control; it made me feel special.
“No.” I pressed his chest, pushing him backward, with a wicked smile on my lips. “You get on the bed – I need you there.”
“What are you...” he playfully protested, but I kissed him, shutting him up rapidly.
He eventually fell backward, and his butt hit the sheets as he gave in to me totally. I sashayed forward and leaned in for a sweet and tender kiss on his mouth before I slowly moved my lips over his stubbly cheeks and down to his neck. The second he groaned happily, and his head lolled to one side with lust, I fell to the floor, my knees hitting the floor with a thump and causing a gasp to leave his mouth.
His hands grabbed onto my shoulders, and I could feel him tense up all over, which meant that I’d surprised him. I had him exactly where I wanted him. This was going amazingly.
I lightly traced my fingers up and down his length, occasionally using my nails extremely gently just to add a different sensation into the mix. Then I leaned forward to press kisses all over his thighs. He started to shudder, his hands gripped tighter onto me as the pressure got to him, and that grew more intense every time I drew nearer to where he was straining for me.
I could practically see the lust glistening off him – he couldn’t take it much longer.
As my lips finally found him, only to place one chaste kiss on him while cupping my hands under his thighs for a second, just to keep his legs apart and in place, he could no longer contain his frustration. “Oh, my God, Eliza, you’re killing me.”
I looked up to meet his eyes and saw a fiery desire there. That was enough to spur me forward, to make me take what I’d been so looking forward to claiming, so I took the base of him in my hand and wrapped my lips around him.
“Oh, shit,” he yelled as I slid my lips down, flicking my tongue along his length while I went, Milo nearly lost his mind. He kept tensing up and relaxing automatically, as if he couldn’t take it anymore, which made me even happier. It caused me to slide him down as close to the back of my throat as I could muster.
He was big and thick, filling far too much of my mouth, but I still enjoyed doing it for him. He felt incredible; he made my heartbeats fall on top of one another, they were coming in so quickly. “Oh, God, stop.”
Eventually, Milo pulled me away and kissed me hard, filling my chest with that flaming heat all over again. There was something about him... He made me crazy, he sent me over the edge, and I adored him for that. I’d never felt like I would die if I didn’t have someone, but with Milo, that was exactly how I felt.
He pulled me up onto the bed, and this time, I simply allowed him to do it. Even if I wanted to still continue fighting with him, I couldn’t. My body just wouldn’t allow it because I needed him now, I couldn’t take the heat anymore.
He lay me backward, hovering over me, and gave me such an intense look that I had to grab him to bring his mouth crashing down against mine. I was afraid that I’d totally lose it and turn into a gibbering wreck if I didn’t.
I certainly didn’t want tonight to be spoiled with feelings. If I started crying, if I opened that floodgate, I might never be able to shut it again.
As we kissed, Milo’s hands worked their way down my body, and I couldn’t stop myself from pushing against him. He could feel my every curve, and I could feel every inch of that wonderful, sexy body of his. I loved his muscles, I adored his strength, and I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to find someone that felt as good as him, that sparked desire inside of me as much as Milo did.
Stay, I want you to stay!
That thought popped into my head so unexpectedly, that it made my eyes snap open in shock. No, I couldn’t start thinking things like that. I needed to switch my brain off completely, otherwise, I might end up bursting something out in the heat of the moment, and how bad would that make me sound? He’d think I was a crazy, obsessive person... which might have been true, but only for him. I’d never cared enough about anyone who came before.
Luckily, at that moment, I felt him slide one of those incredible fingers inside of me and passion overtook me, shutting everything else off. I focused only on him, and the wonderful sensations tearing through my core. This felt even better than before; he felt even more phenomenal that the last time we were together, and it was very hard for me to cope with that.
“Oh, Milo,” I whispered, as another finger worked my body. “Oh, wow.”
I allowed my legs to fall apart further, offering him more access to me, and he took full advantage of that by removing his hand and sliding himself into me. I clung to him, grabbing onto his butt to control the pace and strengths of his thrusts, my head spinning with desire the entire time. I was gasping, desperately trying to get air into my lungs, while at the same time, trying to keep my body under control.
I was on fire, completely and utterly consumed by the flames, totally overwhelmed by Milo, and there wasn’t anywhere else in the world I would have rather been.
“Eliza, I... I...” I felt like Milo was building up to something, that he was about to say something important, and I did want to stop and listen, but I had no control of myself anymore. He was consuming me wholly, and that sent the pleasure thundering through my body like a steamroller. Whatever Milo was going to say was totally swallowed up by my screams of joy, and there was nothing I could do to stop that.
As the orgasm claimed me, I couldn’t feel anything but him. The bed vanished, the room around me disappeared – all that was left holding me to the Earth was him, so I grabbed onto him desperately.
While we lay next to one another, limbs entangled, trying to calm down, I knew that an awkward conversation was coming. The last time this happened, I ran out of the room like a madwoman, but this time, I wanted to stay. This was our last night together. It was practically the last time we were going to see each other – I didn’t want it to end just yet.
“Should... Should I go?” Milo asked awkwardly, sliding slightly away from me. “I understand if you want to spend the night alone.” His eyes told a whole different story than his words. I felt like he wanted to make this last a little bit longer, just like me. We’d already overstepped the boundaries; what did it matter if we made it even harder for ourselves?
“No,” I insisted, pulling him back close to me. “I just... I want to cuddle for a while, if that’s okay with you?” I sounded sappy and idiotic, but Milo didn’t seem to care because it matched his feelings exactly.
He wrapped his arms tightly around me, bringing my head close to his chest and allowing me to hear his heartbeat. It was such an intimate moment, even more so than what just happened, and it made me yearn for more.
God, I want more. I want so much more.
“Yeah, okay. I can stay,” he murmured quietly. He rubbed my arm gently, acting as if we were something more than just a hookup, and it made me feel like I could become his girlfriend if this situation was different. If only he lived nearer... If only circumstances were different... If only...
I knew I couldn’t have it all. I was aware that this story wouldn’t have the happy ending I wanted, but for tonight, I wanted just to pretend.
I wanted to live out the fantasy for just a little while longer. Just for tonight, I wanted to pretend that this could be the start of something special, that I was slowly headed toward my wonderful happy ever after. I enjoyed thinking about this as the beginning of a beautiful and blossoming relationship. It made me happier than anything else ever had. It made all the shit that I’d been through in my life feel worth it.
Sure, it hurt me a bit; sure, it made me feel a little like crap that it couldn’t come true, but I didn’t let that part come in. I kept the good thoughts coming while I drifted into a whole wonderful set of dreams with Milo still wrapped around me. To be honest, I was glad that he couldn’t read my thoughts because the dreams I ended up having were so serious, so romantic, and so full of a love that could never be, I probably would have sent him running for the hills. Even if we couldn’t ever be together, I didn’t want things to end like that...
Chapter Twenty-Five
Milo – Wednesday
Waking up with my arms wrapped around a woman was an all too familiar situation, but this time everything about it was different. Everything about Eliza was unique, and it made all my reservations just fall away.
Maybe there was a way we could make this work. Maybe we could be together, visit every so often. If we wanted one another enough, I felt confident that we could do it...
But then the rose-tinted quality of sleep fell away, and I thought about things more rationally. It was a nice idea, but how long before the novelty wore off? How long before we got irritated by the situation and everything started to fall apart?
I had to remember that I wasn’t out of the woods with my health yet, and that things could easily come crashing back over me. It wasn’t fair to Eliza to bring her into my world permanently without warning her what it might be like, and I wasn’t ready to talk about it yet.
I just didn’t want to get into that horrible topic of conversation. I wanted to breeze past it and forget it. It had consumed me for far too long, and now I never wanted to think about it again. Maybe that wasn’t the healthiest attitude, but it was all I had.
Plus, she was leaving today anyway. I had to accept that as fact. And chances were that would change absolutely everything. She would probably forget about me quickly, and if that were to happen, then I needed to move on, as well. I couldn’t be hung up on someone who had their own life – nothing was sadder than that.
This was only supposed to be a vacation. I was never supposed to get so heavily involved. I was supposed to have fun, see a different way of life, and find my zest for life once more. Yes, I had thought there might be time for women, but I never assumed any of this was going to happen. I’d never thought I would end up feeling things that I didn’t know were possible.
Eliza stirred in my arms, making my heart skip a beat. Her dark hair cascaded over my skin, tickling me, making me want to hold her even closer. As her eyes flickered open and a happy smile burst over her cheeks, I felt horrible that it was all going to have to come to an end. We were perfect for one another, but we’d found each other at the wrong time,
“Morning, beautiful,” I muttered almost under my breath. “How are you?”
“I’m good,” she replied lazily, stretching her arms above her head. “That’s the best night of sleep I’ve had in ages. How about you?”
Did she have to be so unbelievable? So heart-stoppingly wonderful? If only I could think of a negative quality she possessed, it might have made things a little easier.
“Same.” I felt good – too good – and that was the problem. “I can’t believe that I’ve already been here for a month. On the one hand, it seems like forever, but on the other, it’s flown by.”
“Wow,” she said, as though that thought struck her like horror. “Yeah, that’s insane.”
I only had a month left now. I was halfway through my trip which meant... Well, neither of us knew what it meant. Nothing good at any rate.
I remembered the moment I arrived in Florence, and when I first met Eliza, how bowled away I was by her, even if I did act a little distant. I instantly found her beautiful, but I also found her clumsiness weirdly attractive, the way she was just happy to be herself. I was drawn to her, I could almost sense that she was special, but I hadn’t wanted to read too much into it at the time. It had made me feel strange.
Clearly, I had noticed her more that I cared to admit because I could still recall her very first face to face words to me, as if she’d only just spoken them aloud.
“Hello, there. It’s nice to meet you in person. Yes, erm... Yes, I’m Eliza.”
Such a simple conversation gave me an instant clue that Eliza wasn’t used to dealing with renters. How little I knew then that she was about to change my whole life forever. Would I have acted differently if I did know? Would it have changed anything? Would I have been more cautious, or more keen to jump right in with both feet?
“So, I suppose I have to leave today.” Eliza suddenly brought my attention back to the present moment and the horror of the day. “I’ll get all my stuff out of your way, and you can enjoy the rest of your vacation in peace.”
Don’t go... I don’t want peace... I just want you to stay...
“Okay,” I said instead of what I was thinking. “Sure thing.”
She shifted from foot to foot, looking embarrassed. “I mean, if you’re ever lonely while you’re here and you want me to cook for you, give me a call. That was part of the deal with me staying here, after all. I’m more than happy to hold up my end of the bargain.”
I nodded, but I already knew that I wouldn’t do that. It would feel a bit too much like a booty call, and Eliza was much too good for that.
Or maybe I would, but only if being in Florence without her became too unbearable for words. Maybe I’d throw my pride to one side and do what my heart so desperately wanted me to.
“Okay, well, I’ll leave you to it then.” I shot her a lingering look and she bit down on her lip, but neither of us were saying what we wanted to say. It was so obvious that we both felt the same way, but that the roadblocks in front of us were too big to overcome. “Come and say bye before you go.”
As I wandered back into my room, a morose feeling consumed me. She was going. She was in the other room now packing her things, then she’d be gone, and I would be stuck here in this cabin all by myself. Why had I ever thought that the peace and quiet was a good idea?
As soon as Eliza left, it would only serve to remind me that I didn’t have her anymore, that I didn’t have anyone close to me. Yes, I’d have the time to focus on moving forward, the job I was supposed to be doing while I stayed here, but that didn’t feel quite as appealing anymore.
I stroked Veil for a while, holding him close. If he knew what was going on, which to be fair he probably didn’t, then this would hurt him, too. At least we had each other. I might not have been one for being mushy about my pet before, but I hadn’t ever needed him quite as much as I did now. Now his company would be the only thing getting me through.
Eliza’s light knocking at the door could only mean one thing: she was already packed, ready to go, much too quickly for my liking. Why do things with her always whiz past? I wanted to cling onto each moment, to savor it, but I just couldn’t seem to make that happen.
“Coming,” I c
alled out, standing up, but somehow that message didn’t quite get across. She seemed to think that I said come in because the door clicked open quickly.
“I’m going now,” she told me with a steely expression, as if she were trying to hold it all in herself, exactly as I felt. “I... Well, you have my number and stuff, so you know how to get hold of me.”
She leaned down and hugged Veil, before pulling me in for an awkward embrace, too. All the warmth between us was gone. We’d become more like strangers, instead. I hated it. I only liked it when things felt normal, and this couldn’t have been further than that if it tried.
She kissed me on the cheek, too, but still, there wasn’t any true warmth there. It felt more polite than anything, stilted, like she was only doing it out of duty. Even I was hard pressed to believe that we’d had all that passion the night before.
“Bye,” I whispered, smiling sadly at her. “I guess I’ll see you around.”
She paused for a second, as if she was about to say something else or ask me a question, but she must have decided against it because she quickly spun around and walked determinedly toward the door. Veil raced after her, and I couldn’t help but meekly follow, but she wasn’t looking at me, and it wasn’t long before I was staring at the dust trail she’d left behind.
“Well, buddy, she’s gone,” I said to Veil in the most upbeat tone I could manage, but as I walked back inside, he stayed at the door, longing for the woman who wasn’t coming back.
Right, I need to take action now. I needed to stop myself from falling apart. I had a task that I could complete. I had this whole Landon investment that I could focus on, just to keep me distracted from my feelings. If I didn’t do it now, if I sat down and started thinking, then I had no idea when I’d move again. It was time to make a call.
“Hello, Justin speaking.”
“Justin, it’s me, Milo,” I sighed, unable to keep the sadness from my tone. “I’ve been to see Landon.”