by Alexa Davis
“Oh, that’s because I haven’t taken you to karaoke yet,” I laughed. “Wait til you see me up on the stage rocking the mic. It’ll make my kitchen singing seem like nothing at all.”
Lindsey’s tinkling giggles lit up the whole kitchen. She brought a brand new atmosphere to the place. Rose had been absolutely ecstatic about seeing Lindsey again, and so had the rest of the kids. They all hoped that she would come around more – and so did I.
“Now that is something I really want to see. But I don’t know if that’s something you’ll be able to beat me at. I kick ass with the seventies glam rock tunes.”
Again I was struck by the sensation that she wasn’t like anyone I ever met before. She had a carefree side to her, a bit of her that didn’t mind looking foolish, and I loved that. She didn’t seem to be struck by the same curse as the rest of the world where self consciousness made it challenging to just be. It was utterly refreshing.
“Excellent, now I have to take you.”
I scanned my eyes out the hole in the wall to watch the children all curled around the television to watch a movie. The owner here had such a great set up; the kids never seemed short of anything. Sometimes it made it difficult for me to remember that they’d lost one of the most important things in the world. They didn’t have a family – at least not a biological one.
“They’ve enjoyed today, haven’t they?” Lindsey asked softly. “The meal you cooked was really nice, too. You are good for these kids. Every time I see you with them it strikes me how much they need you.”
My chest swelled with pride and joy. It was so awesome to get that praise from someone else, especially Lindsey, whose opinion I really cared about. Also it meant a lot because she’d been through a similar thing herself…or so I thought. I still didn’t know any of the details about what had happened to her parents and while I desperately wanted to know what had gone on, I wasn’t going to push it. I just had to be patient and wait for her to be ready.
All of a sudden, I felt Lindsey’s arms snake around my waist as she stood behind me pressing her body up against me. I leaned back into her and let her hold me for a moment. I didn’t even worry about what the moment meant. I just enjoyed it for what it was. A lot of being with Lindsey involved living in the moment.
“Do you think you’ll ever have kids one day?” I asked without thinking much. I didn’t even consider how that might sound to the woman I was sort of seeing as we stood in a very romantic pose. “I mean, I just…” I stammered as my cheeks reddened and my heart rate kicked up a notch. “I don’t mean… I was just taking about…”
“I know,” she laughed while she stepped away from me. “I know what you meant. I guess I haven’t thought about it much. I haven’t really found myself in a situation where I needed to, you know?”
That meant she hadn’t been in any serious enough relationships before. I wasn’t sure why, but that made me feel really good. I didn’t want to have some ghost from her past to compete with. Not that we were at that stage, I suppose, but I still didn’t like the idea of her holding on to feelings for someone else.
“Yeah, I suppose it’s not something you consider until it might actually happen.” I shrugged, hoping that I’d come across as blasé. “I see what you mean there.”
She cocked her head towards me and gave me a curious look. Her eyebrows furrowed and she narrowed her eyes. “What about you? You spend a lot of time with kids and you’re great with them. Do you think you might have children one day?”
I could feel my face darken; maybe I shouldn’t have brought this subject line up since I didn’t much want to answer the question myself. Not really.
“I don’t know,” I replied quietly. “Without much of a decent fatherly role model, I haven’t really considered what I might be like as a parent. What if I turned out as terrible as him?”
Lindsey laughed, but it wasn’t nastily. “Adam, if there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s that you won’t turn out anything like your father when you’re a parent.” She rubbed my arm reassuringly.
“The kids here respect you, love you, and really look up to you. When it’s one of your own, I’m sure it’ll be even better. They say the love you feel for them is boundless, so just imagine how much better you’ll be then? You’re an excellent role model, too.”
The compliments swirled through my system and boosted me up. Lindsey probably saw the best in everyone, but the fact that she could see the best in me right now felt incredible. I wasn’t sure that I totally deserved her kind words, but they felt so good. Maybe I wouldn’t be anything like my father. Maybe I would actually be much better as a dad because I knew what not to do. He’d given me many lessons on how to be the shittiest parent ever. I could just use that and do the opposite.
Not that I was thinking about having kids right now. Hypothetically maybe, but that was it. Maybe I’d changed my mind about commitment a little bit, but that was a step too far for now.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Lindsey
Thursday
“Oh, Adam, I really think I’m falling for you.”
He danced with me for a while and dipped me towards the ground. As he moved his head towards me, a rose appeared between his lips as if from nowhere. I felt certain it hadn’t been there before, but I didn’t question it. I simply tilted my head back further and slid my eyes closed as I waited for that kiss. I knew how incredible his mouth felt against mine and I couldn’t wait for that sensation to come again….
“Huh, what?” I bolted upright rapidly in the bed as if something had shocked me awake. The memories of my dream still filled my mind. I’d been so close to getting a kiss from Adam, and to be honest, I was quite mad about the fact that it hadn’t come true. All I wanted was to feel his lips against mine for real.
Luckily for me, I’d stayed the night at Adam’s and he was lying right next to me. I smirked down at him and watched his chest rise and fall as he slept peacefully. With the memories of him holding me and dancing with me, all I wanted to do was wake him up. Was that cruel? Probably, but I didn’t care. There was a burning sensation in my loins that desperately needed satisfying.
“Hey, Adam.” I shook his as I whispered, but all that happened was he batted me off him. “Adam, wake up.”
Nope. That wasn’t working. I pouted out my lip in annoyance as the burning turned into a deep throb that needed satisfaction. I wanted him now, more than ever before, the feelings had transformed from something much more erotic. If I didn’t get him awake soon, my fingers might have to satisfy me instead… But what was the point of that when he was right here?
A cheeky idea consumed me for a moment, which I decided to just go with. I knew if I gave myself even a second to talk myself out of it then I would, so I didn’t. I yanked the duvet up over my head and I pushed myself downwards in the bed. As I did, my heart thundered. I could barely stand the tension, it was just too much. An unexpected giggle burst past my lips causing my hands to clap across my mouth to silence me.
My eyes bulged when I saw what Adam had waiting for me under the covers. Thank God, he preferred to sleep naked, and I was also truly grateful that he was having some sort of sexy dream that already had him aroused. It made it so much easier to do what I wanted to do.
I traced my finger up and down his thick length, breathing so deeply that I was almost panting. The idea that Adam was blissfully asleep up there, completely unaware of what I was doing, it caused a deep throbbing wetness to ache between my legs.
I placed a gently kiss on his tip as my fingers clutched onto the base of his shaft. Then I parted my lips and I tightly wrapped my lips around him, relishing in the sweet salty taste that awaited me there. I licked up all the precum that sat at the top of him enjoying the excitable sensations that filled me.
“Mmm,” I heard Adam moan from above the sheets. He sounded sleepy, like he hadn’t quite woken up yet. Clearly, I was giving him the best dream ever. “Oh.”
I slid my lips down further and to
ok him as far down to the back of my throat as I could manage. When he hit the back of my mouth I struggled for a second, but I kept him there until I got more used to the feeling. It felt good to have him stretching out my mouth and filling me up. It seemed that everything to do with him was sexy as hell to me.
“Oh, God. Oh, Lindsey.”
I wasn’t sure if he was awake or not yet, but I continued going. I bobbed my head up and down until his fingers knotted into my hair, proving that I’d finally got his attention. He guided me for a while, pushing himself into my mouth, and I willingly let him. This was what I wanted when I started this.
“Fuck, Lindsey,” he growled as his thighs tensed and his back arched. “You are too fucking much. Do you really think this is the way to wake me up?”
I couldn’t answer him, but I did flicker my tongue all over him enthusiastically. He bucked his hips and rolled against me, losing himself to the sensations.
“This is too much,” he panted. “I need to be inside you. If you stop right now, I might just have the strength to do that.”
I didn’t want to. It disappointed me to pull my mouth away, but I did just because my core freaking needed him. That was the whole idea behind this, anyway. If I didn’t, it would never forgive me for leaving myself untouched. As I took myself off him, Adam hooked his hands up under my arm pits and pulled me right up to his lips. I kissed him as my legs spread across him. I straddled him desperately, needing him now. I ached for him, I angled towards him, but I didn’t get what I needed.
I hooked my fingers around his neck and kissed him with all the passion that I felt deeply inside. Adam knew I wanted him inside me, but he didn’t give me that right away. Instead, he brushed his finger lightly over my clit, making me shudder violently. I was already too sensitive from how turned on I’d made myself. This was almost too much.
Then his fingers moved away from my nub and slipped into me hard. There wasn’t anything gentle or sweet with his actions. I was so excited, so carried away, that I rode his hand hard. I slid myself up and down, causing him to pump me hard and fast.
“Oh fuck, Adam,” I gasped loudly. “That feels so fucking good.”
With that, he slipped his hand out and reached across to his beside cabinet to grab a condom. As he tore it open with his teeth and rolled it down himself, I panted desperately. I could hardly wait for him. I needed him inside of me before I screamed in utter frustration.
Once he was ready for me, I pushed his hand away and I slid down onto him, taking control of my own pleasure. I didn’t even care how needy I came across. I needed him, God damn it!
“Oh God, Lindsey, you are incredible.” Adam buried his face into my neck as I rode him hard and fast. I groaned and lolled my head backwards enjoying the feel of his mouth against the sensitive skin of my neck. “You are just…”
He couldn’t talk anymore because the pleasure had a tight grip on him. It did me, too; despite the fact that I’d been pleasuring him for so much longer than he had me, I was at the same stage as him. I rolled my hips harder and faster, his thrusts brushed against me, my head was spinning, heady with lust… I just couldn’t stand it.
“Oh, Adam,” I moaned as he grunted into my throat. “Oh fuck.”
This was the perfect idea. Waking him up like this was fucking amazing for the pair of us. As the wet heat circled through my system, I yelled and cried out louder than I ever had before. Knowing that we were at the same stage intensified everything. The sensations were too much. I could barely control myself.
I dug my fingers tightly into his shoulders, probably piercing his skin as I pulled myself up to his tip and pushed myself down to the base of him over and over again, hitting my G spot repeatedly. I loved having control – I hadn’t realized that about myself before, but now I knew it. Adam was teaching me more about my sexuality than I ever thought possible.
It didn’t help stop me from falling, though.
“Oh my God. Adam, it’s too good. It’s too…”
As the sheer bliss crashed through me like a tsunami, I fell against him. He clutched me tight to his chest, holding me at my most vulnerable moment. We yelled and bucked together, falling apart in one another’s arms. Somehow that was the most intense bonding experience of all – I hadn’t ever felt anything so romantic. It was too much.
Fuck, this is everything, this is incredible, Adam is wonderful…
Stop it, I tried to warn myself as the pleasure burst through me. Stop falling.
But I couldn’t. I knew I couldn’t. Especially when the sensations flooded me in such a powerful way.
“You are amazing,” I laughed and panted as we collapsed on the sheets next to each other. I was breathless, high as a kite, almost hysterical. “Honestly, Adam that was…phew!”
“I’m amazing – what about you?” He sounded a little blown away, to be honest. I almost forgot that he had been asleep when all of this started. “I have never been woken up like that before. That was…it really was something else. Honestly, it made my dreams on another level before I realized that it was real.”
“Never?” I twisted myself onto one side to stare at him. By the looks of it, Adam had stars in his eyes. “You really haven’t ever been woken up like that before?” I imagined that he’d probably been with the kinkiest, sexiest women ever, so this was a huge shock to me. “I’m struggling to believe that.”
“No,” he laughed and rolled his eyes at me. “I haven’t. You’re the first one who’s done something so inventive. Does that make you happy?” He gave me a curious look as if he suddenly saw something in me that he hadn’t before. “That seems to make you happy.”
“Not as happy as if you were about to make me breakfast right now. Maybe as a repayment for the early Christmas present?”
“Christmas present, huh? I like that.”
Adam pushed himself into a sitting position and leaned down to kiss me on the top of my head. The sweet romantic gesture only confused me further. I started to think that maybe Denise was right. I did trust Adam, and I did think I knew what I was doing, but there was a chance that I would end up way more into him than he was me. If that happened, I wasn’t sure how I’d be able to extract myself. I felt like I was in too deep already.
As long as I didn’t fall in love – that was the main thing. Falling was one thing, but I as long as love never came into the equation then all would be fine.
“I’ll cook you the best breakfast you’ve ever had. Feel free to have a shower while I do, if you want.”
“Thank you.”
As he walked away my heart soared. Again he was naked; it was almost as if he didn’t notice that he had no clothes on while he was inside. His tight butt made my heart skip a beat. I couldn’t stand it. It made me bite down on my bottom lip just to keep my feelings in. He was too much, too gorgeous, I wanted to lock him in this bedroom and keep him to myself forever more.
Right, time to take a shower, I thought as I pushed myself off the bed. I needed to cool the hell down if I didn’t want to act out on all these confusing feelings racing round in my body. Time to be human again. I need to act normal.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Adam
Friday
I couldn’t stop my feet from moving as I paced up and down the front room anxiously. An icy snake coiled through my system, making its way through my organs and sending nervous butterflies flapping all over me.
“Will you stop it, Adam?” Lindsey giggled as she watched me darting around like a frightened deer in headlights. “Everything is going to be alright.”
I gave her a look. “Are you serious? Do you not remember what happened at the barbecue? It’s going to be a disaster. I usually try to avoid my family at Christmas, and now I’m bringing you into the mix.” I groaned loudly and let my head fall into my hands. “How can we get out of this? There must be a way.”
Lindsey moved up from the couch where she was sitting and rubbed my arms gently. The reassuring action made me stop in my tracks;
her soft touch felt nice against my skin for a moment. There was something calming about her, something that affected my mood and brought it right down for just a second.
“Trust me, Adam,” she breathed quietly into my ear. “It’s going to be fine. You have nothing to worry about. Let your father and brother behave how they want. Just don’t react to it – it seems that’s what they want. Just focus on your mom and me. If they are going to be assholes, then it’s up to you to make it okay. This is Christmas, after all.”
I turned my neck to stare into those deep blue eyes of hers. They danced over me as she examined my expression. “When did you get so wise?”
Lindsey laughed appreciatively and pressed her lips against my forehead. I closed my eyes and gave into the sweet gesture, which was more like a girlfriend than a girl I was paying. The money hadn’t been mentioned today, I assumed we were way past that now, so everything that happened was just us.
Either that or she was an amazing actress who needed an Academy Award.
“I suppose you’re right. I just need to go in there calm.” I breathed deeply, trying to steady my insides. “If I’m calm and don’t let them affect me, then it’ll be okay.”
“Exactly. You just need to keep your cool. The day depends on that. Think of your mom, she’s worth more to you than the others anyway. Brandon and your father will look foolish if you simply ignore their attempts to rile you up, won’t they?”
Admittedly, I liked that idea. I wanted them to look foolish. “I suppose you’re right.” I grinned at her, grateful that she was so damn smart. “It might be easier said than done, but I’ll do it.”
“I believe in you. You can do it.”
Christmas shouldn’t have been this way. I knew it wasn’t like this for other people. Everyone I knew looked forward to the holidays, but I found them a huge source of anxiety. Why couldn’t I just have an easy family to deal with?