Carnage

by Lesley Jones

  “No thanks love.” Marley replied. “Been there, done that and got the fuckin’ crabs to prove it you dirty whore, fuck off out of my sight before I get security to throw you out.”

  She glared at all of us, then just turned and walked away, I swear, her legs were nearly as tall as me, she must have been over six feet, she reminded me of Bridget whatsherface, Rocky’s wife or girlfriend or whatever.

  “Who the fuck was that?” I ask, looking between both the boys.

  “The oldest groupie in town,” Marley replied.

  “She used to be Rocco’s girlfriend,” Sean said. “But he’s traded her in for something younger but she still follows the band around, she seems to think sucking and fucking every other bloke surrounding Rocco will make him jealous and he’ll go back to her but he’s got pretty young things throwing themselves at him, he’s not interested in her.”

  I looked at Marley. “But you fucked her?”

  He shrugs his shoulders at me and wipes his hand across his nose. “I was coked out my head, horny as fuck and she kept begging me for it. I caught fucking crabs off her and had to shave my pubes and avoid sex for a couple of weeks, dirty slut, I haven’t been near her since, I don’t know how she keeps getting a backstage pass, no one likes her.”

  I shake my head at Marley’s little revelation, I don’t care about the shagging, it’s the coke that worries me, no wonder he looks so skinny, I’ve heard it makes you lose weight, that’s why Ashley from school likes it. “Is that why you look so rough Marls? You been doing coke?”

  “Well thanks for the compliment George don’t mince your words.” I shrug my shoulders.

  “You look tired and skinny that’s all, I’m worried, and Mum will flip when she sees ya.”

  He looks from me, then across to Sean and shrugs. “This tour has been hard work for all of us, even wonder boy here has had to have a little help to get him through, and I ain’t the only one.”

  My gaze swings up to Sean’s, who is looking at Marley like he’s about to kill him. “You’ve been doing coke?” I ask Sean. Now it’s his turn to shrug; he looks around the room before he answers.

  “Just the odd line every now and then, it’s hard going out there, we’ve all needed a little buzz to help us along. It’s nothing and everyone does it.”

  I’m not surprised; I’m just disappointed that he hasn’t told me. The same as he had never mentioned how many groupies there were following them around. I knock back my drink and say nothing; Lennon appears in the doorway.

  “Boys, come on, I need you for some photographs and a quick interview for this Spanish magazine.”

  Sean looks at me. “I won’t be long, stay close to Jimmie.” I nod and smile at him but it’s half-hearted, I don’t think I like this fame game, it’s okay when I’m by his side but I hate that he’s seeing, doing and experiencing so many new things without me. We’ve done everything together for so long that I can’t help but get that horrible feeling that I’m losing him again.

  “Let’s get another drink,” Jimmie says. “These fuckin’ groupies are really starting to piss me off, they’re our boyfriends but they’re looking at us like we have no right to be here.”

  “Ignore them,” I say to her. “Most of them will die of old age by the end of the week, they’re so ancient.” She laughs at that and we make our way over to the bar at the back of the room.

  A few minutes later there’s all sorts of talk and chatter as the stars of the tour Kombat Rock, or K R as their fans call them, enter the room. We lean back against the bar as they greet the competition winners, smile, pose for photos with them and sign autographs, the fans and all members of the press are ushered out and I watch as the groupies start to circle the stars. Rocco Taylor is the bands lead singer, he’s okay looking but has nothing on Sean or Marley and he must be around twenty eight. Jimmie and I watch as he works the room, kissing some women, ignoring others, shaking hands with some of the suits and hugging others. The first supporting act are on stage and their set is being played through the speakers in the room, they’re actually not bad for a bunch of local fifteen year olds but not as good as Carnage, by a long shot.

  Suddenly Rocco shouts out, “Can someone turn this crap down? It’s making my ears bleed.” Everyone laughs, everyone except Jimmie and I that is, what a dickhead!

  I bet his band weren’t that good when they were just fifteen, I take an instant dislike to him and the look on my face must show it as his eyes skim past me and then swing back in my direction. “So people, what have we here, who are these two beautiful young ladies and why has no one thought to introduce them to me?”

  “You’re too late Rocco,” Anna the peroxide calls out. “They’re already the property of Carnage, unlucky.”

  He looks across as Anna. “Who asked for your opinion cunt?” He looked around at his entourage. “Somebody get that slut out of here.”

  There’s a flurry of activity, security appear and ask Anna to leave. The air is blue with the language that she uses as she’s escorted from the room.

  Rocco Taylor comes and stands right in front of us. “So, you beautiful ladies are friends with the boys from Carnage. They’re doing well, they’ll go far.”

  He strokes his index finger up and down the back of my arm as he speaks, I want to tell him to stop but he’s Rocco Taylor, one of the biggest rock stars in the world. “What’s your name honey?” he asks me in his American drawl. I’m not sure where in America he comes from but he sounds like a cowboy to me.

  I swallow hard before answering but my voice still comes out squeaky as I reply, “George, this is my friend Jimmie.”

  “Ha ha George and Jimmie. Well lookie here boys, isn’t this just the prettiest George and Jimmie you have ever seen in your lives?”

  Another bloke with long jet black hair and covered in tattoos comes and stands next to Rocco and leers at us as he chews hard on some gum, he throws his arms around the lead singers shoulder. “Well ain’t they a pair of pretty young things.”

  I am actually shitting myself, I suddenly feel all of my sixteen years and eight months and not a day older, all of my usual bullshit and bravado has left me, these are real live rock stars, who are used to getting whatever they want from women. I feel totally out of my depth and I can’t help but notice that goose bumps are popping up all over my body and the hairs on the back of my neck are standing on end and it’s through fear, not because I feel any kind of desire towards this pair of freaks.

  Rocco reaches out and strokes his index finger up and down, over my cheek bone. “Well I hope those boys from Carnage are happy to share their toys, coz I sure would like to have a little play with you.”

  I’m suddenly pissed off, I swipe his hand away. “I’m not any body’s toy; I’m Sean McCarthy’s girlfriend.”

  The room has fallen almost silent as everyone watches the interaction; who the fuck does he think he is, he’s not even good looking and the other one, Wayne Allen or whatever his name is, I think he’s the drummer, he’s not only as ugly as fuck but he stinks of body odour too. I’m debating whether to tell him this when I hear Lennon call out. “Rocco, Wayne, leave my little sister alone and the other one is my girl so don’t even think about it.”

  Before I have a chance to react, he grabs me by the back of my head and kisses me on the mouth, I push him away as hard as I can, and as I do, I hear Sean shout. “G, what the fuck are you doing?”

  I look horrified from Rocco to Sean. “You fucking animal, keep your hands off me!”

  I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand; Rocco narrows his eyes on me, Sean is now at his side and is looking at me like I have lost my mind. “Not her fault Maca, she just saw the hot rock star and couldn’t resist, best get a lead and keep her under control.”

  What? My mouth fell open but no words came out, he says no more, just turns and walks away. What a complete and utter arsehole. I look back at Sean and I suddenly want to cry but not here, I won’t do it here, in front of all these people and e
mbarrass not only myself but Sean and the band as well.

  Sean looks me over. “What happened?”

  I take a deep breath. “He fuckin’ kissed me, that’s what happened, he’s a creep, and I hate him.”

  Surely Sean can see how upset I am. “Fuckin’ hell G, can I not leave you alone for five minutes?”

  “What? I didn’t do anything, he came over to me, I told him I was with you but he kissed me anyway.”

  “She didn’t do anything Maca, not a thing.” Jimmie backs me up.

  He lets out a breath. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left you here, he’s a fuckin’ animal. Are you okay?”

  No I’m not, I’m scared, hurt and humiliated but I’m not going to admit to all of that now, not in front of all these people so again I let it go and just nod my head.

  “Wipe your mouth, your lipsticks smudged,” he points to my lips as he speaks, I want to go to the ladies and fix myself up but I’m too scared to leave his side now. I suddenly wish I was twenty five and knew how to handle wankers like Rocco Taylor, I’d fucking show him then!

  Marley comes flying through the doors of the hospitality room. “Woohoo Maca, that is some good shit man, where’d you get that stuff?”

  Sean instantly turns back to me, great, tonight just gets better and better, I’ve never felt that there was an age difference between Sean and myself, but right now I feel like I’m just an immature little school girl and he’s a famous rock star, which really isn’t that far from the truth and it hurts, so fucking much.

  CHAPTER 6

  Lennon finds Jimmie and me a great place to stand in the wings. The venue holds around fifteen thousand people and is already three quarters full. I watch as the boys are given their guitars by the roadies and are wired up with what I can only assume are mics and ear pieces, the music that’s been playing goes quiet and the lights go down.

  Sean appears in front of me and says, “I love ya Georgia Rae, show us your tits.” I don’t hesitate and pull my top up and flash him my new black lacy bra.

  “Fuckin’ hell babe, I’ve gotta go on stage with a hard on now.” He kisses me again and is then pulled away by a stage manager and put into position.

  The opening song ‘Show Me’ is from the new album and so are the next two, after this Sean addresses the audience and says how nice it is to be in Spain, a pair of knickers fly through the air and land on the stage.

  Sean runs over to Tom and grabs a spare drumstick and goes back and picks the red lace knickers up with it. He holds them up, hanging them from the drumstick. “Hey Marley, don’t you have a pair like this, are these yours?” Tom does a b’dom cha sound on his drums to accompany Sean’s joke and the crowd laugh and whistle.

  I hear a female voice call out in broken English “Marry me Maca” and that evokes more whistles.

  “Sorry ladies but I’m taken.” He turns his head toward me and gives me a truly breath taking smile. I feel so very proud in that moment, he’s made it, he’s got this crowd eating out of his hand, it’s what he was born to do and he looks every inch the star out there and he’s mine, he’s been mine since I was eleven years old and I love him beyond words.

  The band belt out all of the songs from the up and coming album and also throw in a few covers, they thank the crowd and run off the stage as the audience goes wild and call out for more. Sean comes straight to me, wearing the biggest smile. “Were we okay?”

  “You were brilliant, just brilliant babe, all these years of work are finally paying off, I’m so proud of you.” He pulls the towel from off his shoulder that someone has put there and wipes the sweat from his face.

  “Don’t move from this spot, we have to do a quick encore.” He gives me a kiss on the lips and is lead back out, I expect the rest of the boys to follow him, but they don’t, the lights come back on and Sean is out on stage alone, sitting on a stool with his electric acoustic and my stomach goes over, if he sings Georgia on my mind, I will cry and completely embarrass myself in front of all these rock star types. There is a massive cheer from the crowd as the lights come on, he plucks out a few notes and the whole place falls silent.

  “I want your babies Maca, take me home and make me pregnant,” a lone female voice shouts from the crowd. Sean laughs and shakes his head, then looks up and smiles at the crowd.

  “Darlin’, do me a favour here, all you ladies in the crowd tonight have gotta appreciate the fact that I’m a one woman type of bloke and I love my girl; I’ve loved my girl since the very first day I set eyes on her and back then she was just a girl… but I have had the pleasure these past few years of watching her grow into an absolutely beautiful young woman and as much as I love touring and playing in front of you lot every night, I’m counting down the days till I’m back in England and in her arms.”

  There are a combination of boos and whistles from the crowd.

  “This song people, this song is for all of you that are missing the ones you love, for all of you that, for whatever reason, can’t be with that one person you love most in the world, this song, is for my girl, this song, is for Gia, I love you baby.”

  As soon as I hear the sound effects of waves lapping and a boats horn, I know what the song is and I can’t stop the tears, Georgia is the obvious choice, but this, this is something he’s come up with all by himself, it’s The Jam ‘English Rose’ and I can’t stop the tears and I don’t care who sees them.

  Len is at my side with his arm around my shoulder and says into my ear. “He’s been practising this for days; he didn’t think his voice was good enough.”

  I cuff my runny nose and shake my head at Len. “He’s gotta be mad, he sounds better than Weller.”

  “That’s what we’ve all been telling him, he just wanted it to be perfect for ya.”

  I nod my head. “It’s better than perfect Len.”

  We stand and watch together, Jimmie joins us, standing with her arm around Len’s waist. Sean stands from his stool, the rest of the boys join him on stage and they all take a bow, if this is the response they are getting as the supporting act in a foreign country, then I can’t wait to meet the crowd when they are top bill in England.

  Sean walks off the stage straight to me, his eyes are wide, his pupils dilated, I really want it to be the buzz of being on stage that’s causing this, but something tells me that illegal substances are involved and it takes a little bit away from the beautiful song he just sung for me, but I hide my disappointment and wrap my arms around his neck as he lifts me off the floor in a hug.

  “That was beautiful, thank you,” I say to him as he sets me back down, he throws his arm across my shoulder and we make our way back stage, passing the boys from K R as they head on stage. Carnage accept congratulations on their set and wish the boys from K R good luck with theirs; we all head into the hospitality room so the boys can grab a beer. The room is packed with even more groupies now and I feel inadequate and uncomfortable around these sexy, experienced women, I want to leave but I understand Sean needs to be with the boys and to network, he barely takes a swig of his beer when someone from the record company speaks to Lennon and he in turn calls the boys away. Sean passes me his beer.

  “Stay with Jimmie, don’t accept a drink from anyone except the waiters, we have to go do some meet and greets and a few quick interviews, then we’ll go back to the hotel, I promise, okay babe?”

  I nod my head and smile at him, the boys head toward the door and I’m not oblivious to the eyes of the groupies on them. I hate it! I hate these women, do they have no self-respect? I also hate that I have to share him with his fans right now, I’m only here for three nights and then I won’t get to see him for another two weeks. God I can’t wait for my exams to be over, and then I can do as I like and my Mum and Dad won’t be able to stop me.

  Jimmie lets out a big sigh from beside me. “Well George, I think this is it, I think our boys are finally about to hit the big time, can you believe it? You’re going out with a famous rock star.”

  For so
me reason I fill up with tears, I shake my head at her as she wraps her arms around my shoulders as she sees my distress. “He’s not a famous anything, he’s just Sean, he’s just my boy.”

  “Don’t get upset George, of course he’s still your boy, he always will be, but things are gonna change, you wait till the album is released and the UK leg of the tour starts, the whole of England will be talking about them, it’s what all these years of practise have been for, all the driving about in the transit, all the grotty pubs we’ve been to with them, all the rehearsals in your summer house. Now look at us George, we’re driving about in a stretch limo and staying at the Ritz, fuckin’ hell, we’re a couple of sixteen year old school girls and look at the life we’ll soon be leading.” I smiled and nodded and pushed down the feeling of unease all this change was giving me.

  We ordered ourselves a vodka each from the bar and stood and made up stories about some of the groupies hanging around the room, all obviously waiting for Kombat Rock to come off stage. Len came back about forty minutes later to check on us, apparently there were more interview requests than they were expecting so things were taking longer, as Lennon turned to leave I watched when one of the Suits from the record label stopped him and started saying something in his ear. They both looked over at me, not expecting me to be looking at them, my cheeks burned, Len looked down at the ground, their conversation was obviously about me, but why I had no idea.

  Half hour later and the boys still weren’t back and I was getting nervous. Kombat Rock would finish their set soon and I didn’t want to be here without Sean when Rocco got off stage. I didn’t like him, he made me feel uncomfortable but I didn’t want to make things difficult for Carnage with the lead singer of Kombat Rock, there was still two weeks left of the European tour, then a short break before the UK leg of the tour started, which meant another four weeks of gigs they would be playing together. If I caused problems, Rocco could get them kicked off the tour and with the album being launched before the UK gigs started, which is the last thing the boys needed so I would just stay out of Rocco’s way as much as I could. Their set was being played through the speakers so I already knew they were just starting their encore. I looked toward the door, silently begging Sean, Marley or Lennon to come walking through them, but no, it was Rocco amidst a lot of whopping and cheering and surrounded by a squealing group of nearly naked women and young girls, one of which had her legs wrapped around his waist as he carried her into the hospitality room. Her top was pulled down and he was sucking on her nipple, his eyes locked with mine as he stepped through the door, I quickly looked away and turned and ordered Jimmie and I another drink from the bar, that’s when I heard her voice.