Carnage

by Lesley Jones

  “Well, well, if it ain’t Maca’s spoilt little princess. Isn’t it past your bedtime, shouldn’t you be at home and tucked up in bed with your teddy?”

  Haley, what the fuck is she doing here? I turn around and realise that it was her nipple Rocco was latched onto as he came through the door; I look her up and down as she stands next to Rocco, and he has his arm slung around her shoulder.

  “Oh its way past my bedtime but don’t worry that little brain of yours, Maca will be back soon, then we will be off to get tucked up in bed together and the only teddy that’ll be involved is the one Sean will be ripping off me.” I smile sweetly at her. “With his teeth.”

  She glares at me for a few seconds, and then turns to Rocco. “You know they’re not eighteen yet? They shouldn’t be drinking.”

  “Yeah, I heard they were jail bait, this is a private party though, don’t think the law counts here, otherwise most of us would be arrested for one reason or another, now, get me a beer, then get back here and blow me, I need to come in that dirty, dirty mouth of yours.”

  Jim nudges me and says loud enough for Rocco to hear. “Some things never change, Haley the whore, still on her knees and blowing her way backstage.” She holds her glass up to mine, we clink them together and say “Cheers” in unison and both start to laugh.

  “Fuck off you pair of sluts, you’re just jealous Jimmie, you’re boyfriends just a hanger on, not even a rock star.” She turns her beady eyes to me. “And yours, yours will never be in the same league as my Rocco.”

  “Oh sorry, Whorely, Rocco’s your boyfriend now is he?” I turn to look at Rocco. “Bet you can’t wait to take her home to meet ya Mumma, you do know that she has fucked and blown her way through most of the male population of England? She makes Anna look like a nun and has twice as many diseases.”

  There are a few nervous laughs from the hangers on, Rocco looks at me with a sneer on his face. “Well it’s a good job I like my women dirty like her and not stuck up little cock teases like you.” He licks up the side of Haley the whores face, yuck, he’s such a pig. “Want some?” he asks me.

  “Not if my life depended on it,” I reply.

  He looks me up and down and moves away to the leather sofa. “Get me a beer, Whorely, and then get back here and get on your knees.”

  Like the idiot that she is, ‘Whorely’ does as she’s told, with a look of nothing, but pride on her face. In that moment, I actually felt a little bit sorry for her, poor deluded girl. I notice Rocco is staring at me, he scares the crap out of me but I tilt my chin and stare back at him defiantly.

  “You’re just a bit too big for your boots little girl… but I’ll show you, I’ll show you whose fucking king around here,” he sneers at me.

  I shake my head and look toward the door as Marley comes walking through, Billy is behind him and as the door is held open I notice Sean and Lennon outside and it looks like they’re arguing, I start to head toward them, but Marley wraps me in his arms and gives me a big cuddle. “Baby sister, I’ve missed you, I cannot wait to get back to England, you smell like home.”

  He gives me a kiss on the cheek, this is my big brother, this is the Marley that I have idolised since possibly the day I was born, he didn’t look as spaced out now and he didn’t seem as speedy, “I’ve missed you too Marls, I can’t wait to have you all back.”

  Sean’s arms slide around my waist from behind and he kisses the top of my head. “Let’s get the fuck out of here babe.”

  I turn around and look at him as he speaks. “What’s wrong, you okay?” He nods but I can see that he’s pissed off.

  I turn out of Marley’s arms and wrap my arms around Sean’s neck. “I’m ready to go whenever you are. How are we getting to the hotel?”

  “There’ll be cars waiting outside the exit, the drivers just hang around until everyone leaves and drop us wherever we want to go, the label supplies.”

  “Well let’s go then.”

  Sean shakes hands with all the boys from his and the other bands, I kiss my brothers and Jimmie and we head off, not before I notice Rocco glaring at me as he’s getting a blow job from Haley the whore.

  There’s champagne on ice when we get back to our room and rose petals all over the bed; a bath has been run and is full of bubbles and we strip naked and jump straight in, with a glass of champagne in hand. Because the taps are in the middle of the huge bath we are able to sit at each end facing each other. We sit in silence for a while, just watching each other and sipping from our glasses. Sean gives me his lazy lopsided grin as his chocolate eyes roam over my body.

  “What are you thinking?” I ask him.

  “I’m thinking that I wanted to undress you slowly and look at you in all that sexy underwear but I’m glad that you’re here, naked, in this bath with me; I’ve missed you so much Gia. I can’t wait to get back to England. Is your Dad going to be okay with you touring with us over there?”

  I smile at him, despite how long we’ve known each other, I still blush when he says anything sexual to me, I know we’ve been doing it for a long time but I still really don’t know a lot, only what he has taught me and I love that I’m enough for him, he has all these women throwing themselves at him but it’s me he wants, me he misses, me he can’t wait to get back to England to be with.

  “I think my Dad will be fine, he let me come here so I’m sure Manchester or Liverpool won’t be a problem. I’ll be the perfect daughter for the next couple of weeks, you know my Dad, I can usually get my way, especially as I have Mum on my side too.”

  He bites down on the left hand corner of his bottom lip. “Come up here,” he orders, fuck, his voice is all sexy and his eyes are partially closed, I love the feeling I get in the bottom of my belly when he looks at me like that. I walk on my knees toward him and kneel between his open legs.

  “You know that thing, that we talked about, that you said we could try, that you said you would try for me?” I blush the colour of a tomato and nod my head. “Well I was thinking that seeing as I haven’t seen you and you’ll be going on Monday and I won’t see you again for another coupla weeks and seeing as I’m here and all nice and clean.”

  “Yes.”

  “Yes?”

  “I promised you a blow job when I got here, pour me some more champagne and you’ll get your blow job.” I sound confident but I’m so not, we have talked about this but I’ve never been brave enough to do it, I don’t know why but to me it just seems so much more intimate than sex. Sean’s kissed me, down there, lots of times, he seems to love it and I most definitely do but I’ve never been brave enough to return the favour, but I’d already decided before I left England that tonight was going to be the night and what with the wine we had at dinner, the vodkas backstage and now the champagne, I’m feeling like I could suck for England, or do I blow, shit, I actually have no idea what I’m supposed to do.

  “What’s the matter G, what are ya thinking?”

  “Can we get out of here, I’ll drown if I try and do it here.”

  Sean laughs and kneels up to meet me, he puts his hand to the nape of my neck and pulls me in for a kiss “I love you Georgia Rae Layton, I love you so fuckin’ much, I can’t wait for you to finish school so we can be together all the time. So we can go to bed and wake up together every night and day, so you can come with me, wherever I go in the world, I want you with me G, by my side, always.” He kisses me gently on the mouth as I swallow back my tears.

  He breaks our kiss and looks down at me. “Now get your sexy arse out this bath and give me a blow job.”

  “Charming,” I reply as I shake my head at him.

  We spend the rest of Friday night and most of Saturday morning, with me practising my blow job technique. I soon learn, after Sean can barely contain his laughter at my first attempt, that despite their name, they have nothing to do with blowing whatsoever. I think I will forever glow crimson when I think of the moment I held his dick in front of my mouth and just blew on it, like you would a hot cup of tea,
if only it was that easy!

  CHAPTER 7

  The boys are busy Saturday afternoon with interviews and stuff so Sean gives me his bank card and sends me shopping with Jimmie, silly boy! By the time we get back to the hotel, loaded with bags, containing shoes, bags, perfume and a few bits for Sean and Lennon, it’s almost six and the boys are back. Sean’s sitting on the end of the bed, elbows on his knees, hands clasped together; he looks up at me worriedly as I come through the door. My first thought is that he’s pissed off with the amount of money I must’ve spent as he takes in all of the bags from the designer shops but he did tell me to spend what I like.

  “All right babe, did you have a good time?” He smiles up at me but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

  “It was great, you should see all of the designer label shops they have here, my Mum would just love it, I got you some t-shirts, I spent about five hundred pound, is that all right?”

  I rake my teeth over my bottom lip as I wait for his answer. “Yeah, that’s fine, I told you to spend whatever you wanted.”

  “Yeah, I know but I didn’t wanna go too mad. What’s wrong?”

  “What? Nothing.”

  “Don’t lie, what’s up?”

  He looks up at me through his thick brown lashes and my stomach does a little somersault and my heart picks up speed, he looks sad and I don’t think I’m going to like whatever it is he’s got to say.

  “Come and sit down G.” I drop the bags and sit next to him on the bed.

  “Sean, you’re scaring me, what’s wrong?” He takes my left hand in both of his.

  “Babe the blokes from the record label that were at the gig last night.” He lets out a deep breath. “They didn’t like me telling the crowd I was off the market, they want us, they want girls to like us so they want us all to keep quiet about our girlfriends so they don’t want me talking about you on stage and dedicating songs to you. I mean, I can sing them and I can say, this song is for Georgia or whatever, I just can’t say this song is for my girlfriend, well I can but they would rather I didn’t.”

  Well that’s no big deal.

  “Okay, well, that’s fine, I don’t expect you to dedicate songs to me every show I attend and if you want to, just say this song is for G, I’ll know what you mean, it doesn’t matter, honestly”.

  His eyes meet mine and I know that there’s more,

  “What else?” Another big sigh.

  “They don’t want you in the hospitality room before the show, when the press and the fans are all in there.”

  “Why, the groupies are all in there, why can’t I be?” I remember the suit talking to Lennon and looking in my direction last night now, I bet that’s what they were talking about, and I bet that’s what Sean and Len where arguing about after the show.

  “I know, I know G and I told them, if you’ve flown all this way to see me, then there’s no way that you’re not coming backstage but he still said no way, backstage was now for wives and fiancés and family members only.”

  He turns his head toward me, his brown eyes, with their tiny flecks of amber and gold look deep into mine, through mine, into me, my heart, and my soul. “What is it Sean, what? Tell me?”

  He slides off the bed and kneels in front of me; oh God, what’s he done, is he about to beg me for forgiveness for something? “I went to the shops too while you were out G.”

  “Did you?” My words come out as a whisper, I can barely breathe, I’m so scared of what he’s about to tell me, from beside him on the bed, he lifts a box and opens it.

  Fucking hell.

  I want my Mum.

  “I was going to wait and ask your Dad properly and do this once we are back in England but I’m not having you barred from the hospitality rooms before the show, we always knew we would do this, this is just a bit sooner.”

  I want my Dad.

  I want to cry.

  “Georgia Rae Layton, I’ve loved you since the very first day I set eyes on you and your pink polka dot knickers, you are my world. I know we’re young, but I love you Gia, I want to make beautiful babies with you. I know people are going to be against this but they don’t know what we know, they don’t feel what we feel, I want to grow old with you G, I want to marry you. Please, would you do the honour of becoming my Wife?’

  It’s a ring.

  It’s a big fat fuck off diamond ring.

  He’s bought it.

  For me.

  He wants to marry me!

  I wipe a tear from my cheek that I didn’t realise had escaped; I look from the ring up to his eyes and nod.

  My Parents are going to kill me.

  Then my brothers will probably kill me too.

  And then they will kill Sean.

  Shit, my Dad and my brothers.

  Will kill Sean…

  “Georgia?”

  “Hmm?”

  “I’m shitting myself here G.”

  “Yes, yes, yes, of course I’ll marry you, yes!”

  I wipe more tears from my face as he slides the solitaire diamond ring along my shaking finger, it fits perfectly. I look down at my hand.

  “Do you like it?”

  “I love it, is it white gold?”

  “No, it’s platinum, two carats of diamond.”

  “Two carats? Sean, it must of cost a fortune.”

  “It fucking did!” He laughs, I don’t know why he laughs but I laugh with him.

  He brushes my tears off my cheeks with the back of his hand and pulls me down onto his lap so that I’m straddling him and kisses me gently on the mouth. “But I love ya G so it was worth it, especially now you’ve become so good at BJ’s, we have about fifty minutes before we leave for the venue, any chance of a quick shag?’

  “I reckon two carats of diamond has got to be worth a quick something.”

  We have the quickest quickie ever, shower, change and make it downstairs to the bar only ten minutes late; the rest of the boys are waiting and moaning about us being late. We have decided to tell no one except the rep from the record label about our engagement. Sean wants to get back to England and speak to my Dad before he tells my brothers or anyone else and I’m fine with that. I’m more than fine, I’m crapping myself at what my brothers are going to say so the longer we can keep our news secret, the better as far as I’m concerned.

  CHAPTER 8

  The record label rep isn’t impressed with Sean’s news and has asked if it can be kept quiet until after the album launch, which suits us fine, he in turn agrees to keep it quiet from the rest of the band and allows me back into the hospitality room, before and after any shows.

  The rest of our time in Spain goes far too quickly and all too soon we are back at the airport; the band are leaving for Germany that afternoon and Sean has promised to call me tonight to let me know they’ve arrived safely, we kiss, I cry and eventually Jimmie and Lennon drag us apart so that we can board our flight. I desperately want to meet up with him in France next weekend but we have our English O level exam on Monday morning so I know there isn’t a lot of chance my Mum and Dad are going to say ‘yes’, but I can try. If not, it will only be one more week and the boys will be home for two whole weeks before they start the UK tour and the album is launched, and in between all of that, we will announce our engagement. Engaged! I’m sixteen, about to leave school and I’m engaged, to be married, to Sean McCarthy, the only boy I have and will ever love.

  By the time I get home Monday, I’m exhausted, I chat with my parents at the dinner table, I don’t really want to eat but my Mum has gone to a lot of trouble and cooked salmon, my favourite, so I make the effort. Eventually I make my excuses and go up for a shower, I wash myself as quickly as possible in case Sean rings and I miss it, I throw on my jarmies and lay on top of my bed with my music playing down low so I can hear the phone. We’re lucky in our house, we have four phones but none of them are in my bedroom, the nearest is on the landing, a whole five steps away. I keep my bedroom door open and try to do the same with my eyes but I must
lose the battle as the next thing I remember is waking up to bright sunlight, on top of my bed with a blanket over me, my bedroom door is closed. I turn and look at my clock radio, it’s six thirty eight in the morning. I jump up and run down stairs, my parents are both sitting out on the patio drinking coffee.

  “Morning Princess,” my Dad says looking up from his paper, he folds it and holds his arms open for me to go and sit on his lap. It’s a routine we’ve followed for my entire life but he’s rarely here in the mornings now as I get up so much later. I wrap my arms around his neck.

  “Morning Daddy, Mum, did Sean ring last night?”

  “No babe, we came to bed about eleven and you were soundo, so I turned off your music and covered you with a blanket.” She tilts her head and looks at me. “Marley or Lennon didn’t call either; perhaps the boys were just tired after all the travelling and had an early night.”

  “Yeah, perhaps.” But I knew they hadn’t, even then, I knew something wasn’t right but until the call came, I had no idea how very far from right things actually were and how wrong things would now always be.

  I heard nothing at all until Thursday night; I’d given up waiting for Sean’s call for another night and was just at the top of the stairs on my way to bed when the phone rang, I stared at it for a few seconds before picking it up.

  “Hello.”

  “Georgia?”