Emerge

by Lila Felix

  My eyes widened at his expression and I blurted out.

  “What are you thinking?”

  He stepped dangerously close and his right leg stepped tentatively then confidently in between my legs. He put both hands out on the car behind me on either side of my ribcage. He crept closer and closer until I thought I would melt just by his proximity. My breaths were coming out in shallow huffs and anyone in a ten mile radius could probably hear them. He leaned down methodically and slowly to the point of torture. He kissed me gently on my neck right below my earlobe, I felt his breath on my neck and in my hair and I shivered. He whispered in my ear.

  “Baby, you don’t want to know what I’m thinking.”

  “Carlos, you’re killing me.”

  He continued his whispering assault, “Mmmm…you’re just feeling a little of what I go through all the time with you.”

  I was caught off guard a little at this new stage in our relationship.

  I reached out a hand and tugged at his goatee.

  “I had no idea. I mean you’ve said I was…” I couldn’t make myself say the words.

  “Well…” he pulled back and smiled at me, “I must not have made myself clear. I’ll have to fix that. Plus…You started it.”

  “When was that? I missed it.”

  “You’re the one who said my tattoo was hot. Your fault.” He looked down at my lips and I licked them and then my gaze floated to his lips. He was still looking at my lips when he said, “Man, I want to kiss you like crazy.”

  “Yeah…you should…um…in 2 weeks.”

  “Damn…” He put his forehead on my shoulder. “I’m sorry again. We’ll make up for it.”

  He gave me a peck on the very corner of my mouth and said, “I guess I’d better get you home…or 2 blocks from home.”

  “Yeah”…I was still breathless.

  He drove me back towards my house and dropped me 2 away so no one would be the wiser. I walked home and walked through the back door determined that I wasn’t going to let them get to me.

  When I got home my Mom had the front closet emptied, which was really weird because all of her ‘hidey bills’ were stored in there. She had piles of suitcases laid out in the middle of the living room floor and she had half of her clothes out draping the couch. It looked like one of those men on t.v. who stands outside of the fitting room while his wife throws out the clothes she doesn’t want. She was running into her bedroom with this goofy ass grin on her face. I grinned too because all of these cockamamie scenarios went through my head.

  She found out that the circus is taking Medusa/June Cleaver acts. She’s hit the big time!

  The local Pawn Shop is paying double for all luggage brought in. Today only!

  She burst back into the room.

  “Jenna, I have some great news for you.”

  I almost wanted to point to myself and say, “Me?”

  “What?”

  “Well…Great news for all of us. Today we bought 4 tickets for us to go to Louisiana on vacation. Isn’t that great?” She was overly excited.

  Where would they get money to buy airplane tickets? And vacation, seriously, they don’t even work.

  “Oh, yeah? When?” I tried to sound excited, but it came out sounding like a pop star during an uncomfortable interview.

  “Two days after you graduate. You should call your Dad later and tell him that we’re coming. I’m sure he’d love to see you. You are actually on a flight the day before we leave. They only had three seats left on our plane.”

  I frowned a little because she hated my real Dad’s guts. She usually referred to my real Dad as ‘him’…It made me think of ‘someone who shall not be named.’

  “Yeah…ok…I will call him after I get home from work.” I walked out of the room in a major state of confusion.

  I put my bag down and switched to my purse and put everything I needed in it, including my new secret cell phone.

  I walked through the living room and her mood was the same but she said as I tried to walk through the minefield of stuff on the floor, “Jenna, let’s not forget…2 weeks from Saturday. You wouldn’t want to mess that up right?”

  “I know, Mom.”

  I shut the door behind me and began my walk to the music store.

  As soon as I got past the freeway, I looked back to make sure that the coast was clear. I didn’t see anyone so I took my new cell phone out. I had seen other people using their cell phones on the bus and at school so I figured it out quickly.

  “Hello?” he answered.

  “Hey. I’m walking to work so I thought I’d call you. I know I just saw you but..”

  He snorted on the other end.

  “I’m glad you called Jenna. How long is your walk to work?”

  “It’s twelve blocks.”

  “Twelve blocks…well…at least we have a while to talk.”

  “Yep. So…I walked in the house and guess what my Mom tells me?”

  “There’s no telling. I don’t even know your Mom well, but I can’t stand her already.”

  That made me laugh harder than I had in a long time. I could barely stop laughing to talk to him anymore.

  “Oh, you have no idea. You’ve only known about her antics for a few months. I’ve had to deal with them for 18 years!”

  He chuckled, “Thank God…although, no never mind…I would’ve known you.”

  He cleared his throat and said, “So, tell me what she said.”

  “She said she bought the whole family tickets to go visit Louisiana. I’m supposed to leave 2 days after graduation. But supposedly they only had 3 tickets on their airplane the next day. So I leave 1 day before them.”

  The line stayed silent so long that I pulled the phone away from my ear to see if I was still on the call.

  “Carlos?”

  “So, you get to see your Dad. That’s good. How long will you be gone?”

  “I think a week.” I had forgotten to ask that.

  “So you leave in about six weeks?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well we still have prom before you go.”

  “We do?” I asked.

  “Actually…No, I want to marry you, but I’m going to take someone else to prom. Is that ok? I mean I’ll see you there. It’s no big deal.”

  “Ahem… Who is the smart ass now?”

  He laughed, “Ugh…I wish I was with you right now so I could ask you the right way. But …will you go with me to prom Jenna?”

  “Awww…of course I will.”

  By this time I was getting close to the store.

  “Hey, I’m almost to the store so I have to go.”

  “OK…if you feel like it, call me on your way home.”

  “ I will. I love you.”

  “I love you too, J. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Bye.” I hung up and walked into the store.

  Mr. Cannon informed me that the music was a bigger priority today than the vacuuming and dusting. “Little Lady, that stack of music in there is higher than Mount Fuji.”

  I giggled, “OK, I’m on it.”

  I went towards the back, but remembered to tell him about my trip.

  “Oh, Mr. Cannon, I forgot to tell you that my Mom planned a trip to Louisiana for us it’s in about six weeks. I think I’ll be gone for a week.”

  “Do you know the exact dates?”

  “Yes, I’m pretty sure of them.”

  “Ok, well mark them on the employee calendar.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  I went to work and he was underestimating that stack of music I had to re-shelve. It was enormous.

  I got off work at seven instead of six thirty and started to make my way home. I called Carlos and talked to him all the way until I got to the freeway. I walked home and when I got there what had started as Mrs. Happy Travelling Lady was now a heap on the floor and resembled more of a weepy mess.

  “What happened?” I asked her.

  “I was just laying everything out to go to on
our vacation and I realized…ugh…all I have are old clothes to wear.”

  I stood there stupefied. What did she want me to do?

  “Jenna, do you have any money from your paycheck so I can buy something decent to wear?”

  I was furious.

  “Mom, I would give you my money. I would. But I had it all in my top drawer and I went to get some of it last weekend and it was gone.”

  She looked fake-shocked. “Oh, my goodness, I hope someone didn’t break in to our house while we were gone.”

  “I hope they did.”

  “Why?” She was such a poor actress.

  “Because the alternative makes me sick to my stomach.”

  And with that I walked off into my room. I did some homework. We didn’t have much since we were ending the end of the year, but I did it anyway.

  I called my Dad and he was excited for me to come and visit. I also had a Step-Mom and sister Sophia whom I hadn’t seen since she was about six weeks old. I gave him the dates and he assured me he was going to pick me up at the airport.

  I played with May a little and when my Mom made supper there was conveniently only enough for the three of them. She said I was on my own for dinner. When she said that, she was talking about a lot more than dinner. I was on my own….period. Little did she know.

  Chapter 15

  The next day when I arrived at school there was something big going on. I had to read the flyers in the hall to see what the uproar was about.

  Remember Seniors!

  Graduation Pictures on the Bleachers During 6th Period.

  Cap and Gown Mandatory.

  I hadn’t received any notice about my cap and gown. I know that I put the money order and size specifications in an envelope and put it in the mail. I did it myself, so I know it was done. I couldn’t afford a class ring, but I had to have a cap and gown to walk at the ceremony. I made my way to the Senior Center where everything from yearbooks to key chains and everything in between could be purchased. I gave the lady at the counter my name and as she was checking the records for cap and gown purchases I looked around the room and was overwhelmed by all of the Senior goods.

  She cleared her throat and I smiled at her waiting for her to tell me where my cap and gown were.

  “I’m sorry, Jenna. We don’t have a record of an order. When did you mail it?”

  “I mailed it the day after it was given to us.”

  “I’m not sure what happened. But without a cap and gown you’ll have to miss the class picture today.” She gave me a pity smile and I shrugged it off like I didn’t care.

  I know I mailed my order.

  I didn’t mind missing the picture. It wasn’t that big of a deal. But now I had to find out how to get a cap and gown before graduation.

  I got to my locker and I was in my own world until I got about a foot in front of him.

  “Hey,” I said and before I knew what I was doing had my face against his hard warm chest and my arms around his middle. He didn’t hesitate to put his arms around my shoulders and his chin rested atop my head. It was a need I didn’t even have to think about. I just needed his comfort.

  “What happened?” he said and as he spoke his chin bobbed against the top of my head. He didn’t let go of me.

  “Ughhh….I’m just aggravated. The cap and gown pictures are today and I hadn’t gotten mine yet. But I know I mailed the order and the money order with it. And I went to the Senior Center and they say they have no record of my order. So now I have to find one before graduation and…well…I’m just pissed.”

  He chuckled at that and I could hear and feel the rumbling of his chest under my ear which was still pasted to his chest.

  “You didn’t turn your order into the Senior Center?” he asked

  “No, I got a money order and mailed it from the house….”

  I looked up at him and we were on the same page already.

  No words were necessary. I closed my eyes and put my head back down.

  “We still have time to get you another one. They still have order forms. I saw them the other day when I was getting the prom tickets.”

  “You already bought them?” I was surprised.

  “Yeah, I bought them the first day they went on sale. Let’s go order your cap and gown.”

  “I can’t. I have to wait until I get paid again.”

  “I will pay for it…Don’t start, J. I’m happy to do it, really.”

  “Ok, let’s order it tomorrow, ok? I just came out of there.”

  He chuckled again and kissed the top of my head on my hair.

  “Sounds good.”

  He squeezed me tight as the bell rang and ripped us from our happiness.

  “See you in Drama?”

  “Yup,” I answered as I shoved my books in my locker.

  The day didn’t get much better but sure as heck didn’t get worse. Sixth period came and went twice as quickly as I wanted it to, and I wouldn’t get to talk to him tonight because he had to work and I did too.

  The rest of the week went by like a flash and before I knew it the weekend was upon me. Carlos had ordered my cap and gown the same day as the graduation pictures. He had asked the teacher on duty to help him guess my size. Thankfully she knew who I was. He paid for it in full and had even paid for a faster processing time.

  We had only talked at school this week as our work and sleep schedules kept us from it. I missed him severely. By next Sunday I would be free, but I didn’t know if he would be off of work that day so I didn’t get my hopes up. Who am I kidding? My hopes are so high; they are stuck in the atmosphere.

  Saturday after I got home from work my Mom was back to Medusa again. She was scrambling around the house complaining about not having enough clothes and about me being broke. Even if I wasn’t broke, I wouldn’t give it to her. Hasn’t she taken enough from me?

  I went to clean my room and do some laundry for the week, since I didn’t have anything else to do. I cleaned out our closet and got the biggest hug from May because I found her beloved, very rare, giraffe Pet Shop toy. I nearly laughed myself to death when she asked me if I knew exactly how rare it was. I told her I didn’t and she said, “You just saved my collection.” That made me laugh to no end. That kid was a trip.

  I went to put another load of clothes into the dryer and one more load of towels into the washer. We had run out of laundry detergent, of course. So I went to tell my Mom that I was going to get some but I couldn’t find her. I scoured the house and the ‘office’ and couldn’t find her anywhere. I went back to my room and asked May if she had seen her.

  “Yes, she’s gone,” she said as the other Pet Shops were so happy that the giraffe had come back to play with them.

  “Where’d she go?” I asked.

  “Dad said she got something in the mail and he gave it to her. Then she started dancing like this.”

  She got up and started waving her hands in the air and knocking her knees together and she twirled her hips around like she was balancing a hula hoop.

  “What was it?” I asked her.

  She shrugged her shoulders and went back to playing. The giraffe and the hippo were fighting already.

  “Well, May, we have to go get some more laundry soap. Get your shoes on Sprite.”

  “Do I get a candy bar?” She pressed her hands together in prayer.

  “Depends on how fast you get your shoes on.”

  That got her going. She got her flip flops on in record time and was ready to go.

  On the way to the nearest store I thought about calling Carlos with my phone but I didn’t know if he was at work and the way May just jumped for candy I really didn’t trust her not to be bribed.

  We got to the store and I bought laundry detergent and some more dryer sheets just in case. May picked a Twix bar and I promised her she could eat it after some dinner. On the way home from the drug store was a little place that had chicken strips that May liked. I bought her a basket with fries and we made our way home. The w
hole way I tried to figure out what Mom had gotten in the mail that made her do that crazy dance. It was probably another random check or something.

  We got home and whatever was in that envelope had been spent. It must’ve been one heck of a check. There were bags and clothes and shoes everywhere. There was some for him, some for her and even some stuff for May. There were also new luggage bags, new makeup and everything in between. Whatever kind of check this was, I wanted one.

  Mom came out of the bedroom in what was obviously a new outfit complete with shoes and jewelry. She looked like she belonged front and center at a real estate conference, the cheesy kind of realtors whose faces were on park benches that homeless people slept on.

  She did a spin and said, “Well, lookin’ good right?”

  “Mmmmhmmm,” was all I could muster up.

  May just said, “Yup,” and dug in to her chicken strips and fries.

  I went into the kitchen and got her some apple juice and set it on the table.

  I walked back through the living room and tiptoed through the mess and bags. I must’ve looked like a football player going through those tire exercises.

  I got to my room and my Mom was on my heels.

  Her fake smile was in full force.

  “Jenna, I hope you aren’t upset that we didn’t buy you anything. I really don’t know what size you’ve gotten up to now and I’m not really sure what would flatter your kind of…shape.” She waved her newly braceleted hand in the air and continued, “Anyway, you are always shopping and buying clothes so you don’t need anything. I never get to go shopping.” She pouted out her bottom lip because she was really, really sad…hardly.

  “It’s really great, Mom. You’re right. I am always getting all kinds of stuff. Last month I bought twelve whole dollars worth of clothes. I’m such a high maintenance diva.” I rolled my eyes dramatically.

  She was on me like white on rice. She grabbed me by my wrists and got into my face and screamed, “Don’t you ever talk to me like that again you sack of shit. Do you hear me? You think because you’ve got a boy treating you nice right now that you’re better than everyone? What do you think he wants in return for all of that sweetness, huh? I bet I can guess. And clean up your damned room!”