Nowhere to Hide

by Kim Sigafus

  “Her father sewed the dress?”

  “Yes.”

  “What happened after she got better?”

  “Others were shown the dance, and eventually there became a Jingle Dress Dance Society.” Jessie smiled. “You know, the dress represents the power of women and how we can help heal the spirits and health of our people.”

  “So, it’s a healing dress?”

  “Yes.”

  “Wow, that’s awesome,” replied Autumn. “All that from a dance?”

  Jessie smiled and laid her sewing aside. “Let’s go start supper. Your mom will be home soon.”

  “What are we having?”

  “Turkey.”

  “We had turkey sandwiches last night.”

  “Well, we have leftovers. I’m going to make turkey and wild rice soup. Wild rice is something Ojibwa people harvest and sell.”

  “I know that. I live here on the reservation, you know.”

  Jessie grinned. “Yes, you do. Well, I picked some up this morning. Let’s get supper started.”

  Autumn was deep in thought as she followed her aunt out of the room. This Jingle Dress had a lot more to it than she first thought. She hoped she could learn the steps and be able to perform the dance.

  She walked by a family picture in the hall. She stopped, staring at it. If she could get the dress finished and learn the dance, maybe she could heal what’s going on with her father and mother.

  Humming now, she walked into the kitchen and got busy pulling out pans and the cutting board.

  She just knew things were going to work out for the better for everybody.

  CHAPTER

  9

  The Dinner Guest

  That was wonderful, Autumn.”

  Autumn smiled at Miss Jergens. She had been able to look at the script ahead of time so she could figure out some of the words and had auditioned with only one mistake. When she made it, no one had laughed at her either.

  “Thank you, Miss Jergens,” she replied, handing the script back to her.

  “The play will be cast by tomorrow,” announced her teacher. “I will post the cast list on my door by lunchtime. Rehearsals will start next week. If you are cast, come and get your script from me tomorrow and start learning your lines. Any questions?”

  Sydney raised her hand and was called upon.

  “Is it true you wrote the script?”

  “Yes, it is.”

  Autumn didn’t know that, and when she glanced over at Miss Jergens, she saw she was smiling. Apparently she was excited they were going to perform a play she had written.

  Autumn headed home after the auditions, thinking about her teacher. Her teacher had dressed up a little today, pulling her long black hair into a messy bun with soft curls framing her face. She had worn a pencil skirt and a royal-blue blouse with long sleeves. She was new, and this was her first school play. Autumn liked her and hoped she would be cast in the show.

  Twenty minutes later, Autumn arrived home. Her mother was there.

  “You’re home early,” said Autumn, pushing the front door shut.

  “I called your father, and he is headed over here,” replied Melissa. “I thought I should straighten up the house.”

  “Dad’s coming here?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “I thought it was about time we talked about some things.”

  “Like what?”

  “That’s between your father and me.”

  “You’re not going to fight, are you?” Autumn set her book bag down on the chair. “Sam always cries when that happens.”

  “I know. And I don’t know what will happen.”

  “Where’s Jessie?”

  “She went to get him. His car is in the shop again.”

  Her mother glanced over at the book bag. “Go put that in your room, please.”

  Autumn picked it up and headed for her room. She set the bag down next to her dresser and sat down on the bed.

  Her father was coming home. She didn’t know what to think. While she loved him a lot, she was also mad at him. Why didn’t he visit or call? It was like he disappeared out of their lives and didn’t care about them anymore. She wondered how her mother was able to get him to come back here.

  She picked up her beadwork and ran her fingers lightly over the green beads. This turtle patch was going on one of her white moccasins. She had sewn the other one onto the left moccasin yesterday. She wondered what her father would say about her learning to do beadwork and sew.

  It was almost suppertime when her father arrived with Aunt Jessie. Autumn was in the kitchen getting plates and silverware down from the cupboard when she heard his voice.

  She set everything down on the counter and walked slowly into the living room. On the way, she patted her hair to be sure it had stayed in place.

  Her hair had grown out some, and she had braided it and tied it off with a leather thong. Jessie said it made her look older, and Autumn had been pleased to hear that. She wondered what her father would think.

  Tom walked into the house wondering what kind of reception he was going to get. Several months ago he had walked out and never returned. He hadn’t called or visited since then. He sent his child support in regularly, but that was it. Melissa had hurt him so much, and there was still a lot of anger there. When she finally called and asked him to come and see the kids and talk with her about some things, he hadn’t wanted to do it. It was only when she pointed out that his kids missed him that he changed his mind. Secretly he was ashamed for having abandoned his children and wouldn’t blame Autumn if she didn’t want to see him ever again. It wasn’t her fault everything with her mother had gone sour.

  Tom had Sam in his arms when Autumn walked into the room. Father and daughter stared at each other for a moment, neither speaking.

  “I was just telling your dad about the play,” said Jessie, gesturing for her to come and sit next to her on the couch.

  Autumn moved to the couch and sat down. Her father watched her with his dark eyes.

  “You’re looking very grown up,” he said. “I like the braid.”

  Autumn said nothing. She sighed and then looked away for a moment.

  Her father tried again.

  “So, tell me about this play you tried out for. What part do you hope to get?”

  Autumn shrugged, and it wasn’t until her mother caught her eye that she gave him a verbal answer.

  “I will be happy with whatever part I get,” she said, crossing her arms and leaning back on the couch. She looked away.

  Jessie saw Autumn close off and tried to help.

  “Tom, Autumn is learning to do beadwork and sew,” she said.

  “Really? That’s great. I do beadwork as well. Have I ever shown you any of it?”

  Autumn glanced over at her father and shook her head.

  “I think I still have some of it here. Melissa, do you have any of my beadwork around here?”

  “I … I have the moccasins you gave me when we were going out. You did beadwork on them, I think.”

  “Go get them and show Autumn.” When she didn’t move, Tom glanced over at her. “Please?” he added quietly.

  Melissa got up and went into the bedroom. A moment later she came out with red moccasins.

  Autumn gasped. They were just like hers, only bigger.

  Autumn took them from her mother and marveled at the carefully placed beads that made up the beadwork. They were blue, red, green, and white and were sewn together in a circle with a turtle in the middle.

  “I have a turtle on mine too,” Autumn said, glancing at her father.

  “I don’t remember doing turtle beadwork on yours,” he said, and she smiled.

  “Those are almost too small,” she replied. “Aunt Jessie helped me make new ones. I beaded turtles and sewed them on.”

  She went to get them, and Autumn’s parents each took turns looking at the moccasins. In the meantime, Jessie started to put dinner on the table and then call
ed everyone to take a seat.

  Autumn didn’t know what to expect now at dinnertime. Before, it was a time her parents always fought. She didn’t want to go through that again.

  She glanced at Jessie, took a deep breath, and sat down.

  CHAPTER

  10

  Time to Reconnect

  To her surprise, dinner went well and there was plenty of conversation going on. Autumn was smiling, and Jessie noticed Tom was relaxed and seemed happy. Melissa even smiled here and there, and then laughed outright when Autumn told them about something funny that happened in school.

  After dinner, Jessie and Autumn cleaned up, and Melissa and Tom went into the living room to talk. They raised their voices in anger a couple of times, which made Autumn nervous, but Jessie put a reassuring hand on her shoulder and she nodded. She knew her parents had jumped right from heated arguments to the divorce. There were bound to be things that had to be worked out.

  Sam sat in the corner of the kitchen playing with his blocks and little toy cars. After a moment, Melissa came in and picked him up.

  “Autumn, your father wants to talk to you,” she said. Autumn walked into the living room and saw her father sitting in his usual chair. It made her smile.

  “Sit down, honey. I want to talk with you about school.”

  “Okay.”

  “I hear they have discovered you’re dyslexic and that you’re on some kind of education plan.”

  “Yes.”

  “How are things going?”

  “Fine.”

  “No problems then with your schoolwork?”

  “No.”

  He nodded and then reached into his pocket to take out a phone.

  “I talked to your mother, and she said it was all right to give you this.”

  He handed her the phone, and she reached out and took it.

  “Mom said I was not getting a phone until my sixteenth birthday,” said Autumn, frowning.

  “I know, but we talked about it, and I pointed out that with my work hours, it would be easier if I could just call you when I had the chance.” He looked down at the floor now.

  “I have been a terrible father. I haven’t called or tried to come and see you after your mother and I split up. I’m so sorry.”

  “So, you think buying me a phone will make up for that?”

  “No … I know it won’t. But I wanted you to know you could call me anytime. I programmed my number into your phone already. It’s under ‘Dad.’ I’m paying for the bill too. I just wanted to be sure we don’t ever lose contact again.” He looked over at her and tried to smile. “I love you, Autumn. I’m so sorry about all this. I hope to do better in the future.”

  “Why didn’t you ever call me or come and see Sam or me?” Autumn bit her lip. “Did we do something wrong? I know you were mad at Mom, but …”

  “No, no. Nothing like that.”

  “Then why?”

  He sighed, trying to find the right words.

  “Your mother and I were in such a bad place, I just wanted to get away from it all and clear my head. After some time had gone by, I realized I had just dumped my kids, and I was afraid you wouldn’t want to see me again.” He looked down at the floor again. “I guess it was easier to just hide away and pretend everything was fine instead of facing the truth.”

  “The truth?”

  “The truth is, I was just a high school dropout with no prospects, and your mother could do better.”

  “But she loves you.”

  “I know that now. I finally listened to what she was telling me. You see, I saw her smiling and talking to my friend Benny, and I thought there was something going on between them.”

  Autumn shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “Wait, Dad, you don’t have to tell me all this.”

  “Yes, I do, because it’s about time I come clean about some things. I already talked to your mother, and I think you’re old enough to know what happened.”

  He glanced over at her and she nodded reluctantly.

  “Well, to make a long story short, I thought your mother was cheating on me. One of my friends tried to make trouble for her and told me that she was, and when I saw her with Benny, well … Anyway, I jumped to what I now know was the wrong conclusion. I wouldn’t listen to anything your mother said, and then I let my insecurities get the best of me. I ran out the door and never looked back. I let my lawyer talk to hers and tried to get on with my life.”

  “Mom would never …”

  “I know that now. I found out my friend had lied to me because he wanted to be with her. He tried to get her to go out with him afterward, but she wasn’t having any of that.” He smiled faintly. “She didn’t want to be with anyone but me.”

  He got up and started to pace. “I have made such a mess with my life and my lack of self-confidence.” He glanced over at her now.

  “I’m so glad you found yours. You tried out for that play? You’ll get in; I’m sure of it. I’m so glad you took a different road than I did.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You had problems. But when you realized there was nowhere to hide from them, you came out fighting for the life you wanted. You didn’t hide yourself away from the world. You went out and confronted it head on.”

  “Thanks to Aunt Jessie.”

  Her father stopped in front of her now. “Yeah, she’s a special person. I don’t know what I would do without her. My beautiful cloud. She knew if she didn’t come and pick me up, I wouldn’t have come here tonight. She told me it was time to stop being a coward and own up to my part in the mess my marriage was in.”

  “Yeah, she seems to be right all the time,” grumbled Autumn, and her father nodded and then grinned at the expression on his daughter’s face.

  “And I call her my ‘beautiful cloud’ too,” she added.

  She slipped the phone into her pocket and reached out to hug her dad.

  “Can you stay?” she asked, and he shook his head.

  “No, but I will be back next weekend. I’m going to start seeing you guys every other weekend.”

  “Okay.” Autumn pulled away and sighed.

  “What is it?”

  “I wish we could see you all the time.”

  “You know I work.”

  “Well, yes, but …”

  “Listen,” he said, pulling her close again, “I plan to work on your mother. I know she still loves me. Maybe I can fix this mess and come home permanently.”

  Autumn grinned and hugged him again. “I sure hope so.”

  “Me too.”

  Her father broke away and went to say goodbye to everyone. He pulled Melissa in for a quick kiss, which made her blush and made Jessie and Autumn grin. Then he reached down to give Sam a kiss on the forehead and winked at Autumn.

  “Call me,” he said, and she nodded with a smile.

  And then, with one last smile for each of them, he left.

  CHAPTER

  11

  Surprise, Surprise

  Autumn got the lead. The lead!

  She was standing in the hallway, staring at the door the cast list was posted on. Her name was on it, and across from it was the name of the lead part.

  She blinked several times, wondering if she was once again reading something wrong. But the voice of Sydney behind her was as clear as a bell.

  “The lead? She got the lead?”

  Sydney turned to her friends Bree and Jayden and shook her head.

  “Can you believe that? How did she manage to get that?”

  “She was the best person for it,” said Miss Jenkins, coming up behind them. She smiled at Autumn. “Pick up your script today and start memorizing your lines. There’s quite a few of them.”

  “All right,” Autumn replied, eyeing Sydney.

  “Should I come and pick up a script?” asked Sydney. “I have been cast too.”

  “You have been cast in the ensemble,” said Miss Jergens. “You will have a couple of costume changes but no actual lines. You w
on’t need a script.”

  “I have no lines?”

  Her teacher shook her head. “And I don’t need you to come to every rehearsal. I will get a schedule to everyone soon.”

  Sydney and her friends watched the teacher walk away and then turned back to find Autumn had left as well. They watched her walk into a class down the hall and then turned to glance at each other.

  “That girl … she has a part and I don’t?” hissed Sydney. “That’s ridiculous. I’m going to talk to my father about this.”

  “He won’t be able to help you.”

  Sydney turned to look at Bree.

  “What are you talking about? Of course he will.”

  “Nope,” said Jayden. “He is not involved with the theater department.”

  “That doesn’t matter,” scoffed Sydney. He is on the school board and …”

  “It won’t matter.” Bree sighed and shifted her books to the other arm. “Look, why don’t you just leave Autumn alone? How much trouble do you want to get into? You’ve already been yelled at once.”

  “Yeah, by her aunt who doesn’t matter,” replied Sydney. “I don’t care what she says.”

  “Well, we aren’t getting into trouble for you,” stated Bree. She started to walk away. “I’m leaving her alone.”

  “Me too,” said Jayden, and Sydney watched them both walk away.

  “You guys are idiots,” she yelled. “Who needs you anyway?”

  “What are you yelling about?” asked Miss Jergens, coming out of her classroom. “Get to class. The bell has already rung.”

  “But—”

  “No buts.”

  “I—”

  “Go!” Miss Jergens pointed down the hall, and Sydney snapped her mouth closed and headed in that direction.

  As Sydney entered the classroom and sat down, her teacher looked up.

  “Where have you been?” he asked. “The bell rang five minutes ago.”

  “I was talking to Miss Jergens.”

  “I see. Well, sit down. I have a class to teach.”

  Sydney sat down and clenched her teeth. She didn’t care what anyone said, Autumn was not going to play the lead in the play. She would see to that.

  When Autumn got home from school, she found Aunt Jessie in her room sewing jingles on the dress. She plopped down next to her and grinned.