Conflicted

by Heather Dahlgren

  “Of course, man.” I tie it perfectly and slap him on the back. “Kenz is one lucky woman. You are going to make one hell of a husband.” He shakes his head and looks at himself in the mirror.

  “I’m the lucky one, Dick. She is the greatest thing to ever happen in my life. I would do anything for her.” It makes me think of Mel, and how I would honestly lay my life down for her. I finally have it, the love I’ve wanted for so long.

  “You’re right. You are one lucky son of a bitch. Real quick, before this day passes and I forget to say all this shit I’ve been thinking—thank you for being the best friend I could ever have, for helping me through all the shitty times, and for helping me celebrate the great ones. You and Kenz are what I strived for, a love like that, and I finally have it. I couldn’t be happier for you today or more proud to stand up there with you.” He gives me a hug and straightens his jacket.

  “You know, when we all started off as friends, I never thought we would be the group we are today. I thought I’d kill Young, I thought you’d move home, and I didn’t think I’d end up finding my other half. Things have a funny way of just working out. Now, get that tie on because I need to become a husband.” We laugh as Young walks in.

  “Fucking douches. I’ve been looking for you. Before we leave, I wanted to tell you both something.” We look at each other then back at him. “I’m not good with my feelings, you fucking know that, so thanks for supporting me and Maddie. I was nervous as hell when I found out she was pregnant, and now I can’t wait to meet my little man.” Once again, I roll my eyes. “Just thanks.” I go to give him a hug, and he backs up. “Damn, back up, Dickhead. I’m uncomfortable enough.” I laugh, and Campbell slaps him on the back.

  “We are here for you, Young. Now, can we please get the fuck out of here? I’d like to see my bride.”

  We get to the church and are ushered into a small room to wait for a bit. Campbell is pacing, anxious to get to Kenz, while Young, Jeff, and I talk. The wedding planner has all of us, but Campbell come with her so we can usher people to their seats. I’m amazed at the amount of people who are here. Kenz was right; there are a lot. After we get most everyone seated, we are brought back to the room. Thankfully, Campbell’s parents are in here with him. His mom is crying, and his dad hasn’t lost that smile all day. “We have five minutes before the ceremony starts. I’m going to have you guys go through that door, and it will lead you to the front of the church, just like last night at rehearsal. Once you are in place, we will start. Mr. and Mrs. Boyd, you will enter first, followed by the girls and finally, Kenz. Sound good?” I look at Campbell and finally see that smile of his.

  “Perfect.”

  “Well, let’s go get you hitched, man.” We laugh and make our way to the front of the church. Once we are in place, I just take it all in. Campbell is standing there, looking down the aisle, waiting for his bride. There is a small amount of murmuring coming from the people who are seated. The church looks so different from last night, there are flowers everywhere and even bows on the pews. Then it happens. The minister walks out and the music begins. It is not traditional music. Campbell picked the song he wanted played. Son of a bitch, it is making me emotional. I Can’t Wait by Ben Rue is the song. I’ve never heard a song more perfect in my life. His parents make their way down and are seated. Mel is the first one to walk down, and my knees go weak. She looks stunning. Her hair is up with curls all over, and the green dress she has on makes her body look unreal. The closer she gets I can see her face, and she takes my breath away, she is so beautiful. She hasn’t stopped smiling since she walked in, and when she looks at me, her smile only gets bigger. I wink at her, and she turns to take her place. Becca is next down the aisle, and she too looks amazing. She stands next to Mel, and we turn our attention to Maddie. She, like Becca, looks beautiful and extremely happy. She makes her way down, giving Young a wink. The music continues to play, and Kenz steps into the church on her dad’s arm. I look over at Campbell and see him wipe away a tear. What an unbelievable moment for them.

  Kenz starts walking down the aisle with tears in her eyes, but a huge smile on her face. Neither Campbell nor she seems to notice anyone else in the church, and I suppose that is exactly how it should be. She gets down to him and the music stops. “Who gives this woman to this man?” Kenz’s father proudly announces he does and kisses his little girl before placing her hand in Campbell’s. She looks up at him, and he wipes her tears.

  The minister talks about love and God, but honestly, I can’t keep my eyes off Mel. She has my heart racing. Everything about this moment does. Two of my best friends are saying their vows, two are having a baby, and one has finally found her happily ever after.

  I look at Mel as Campbell and Kenz recite their vows. I know in my soul this will be us. It is the beginning for so much and an ending to so much as well. I take my eyes off Mel and look at Campbell and Kenz, just as they share their first kiss as husband and wife.

  This moment, here with my greatest friends in the world and the love of my life, will be one I will hold close forever. I’ve never felt so much happiness, excitement, or love before. I look up and say a thank you for the way my life has turned out. I went from a sad boy, doing everything he could to help his family, to one of the luckiest, happiest son of a bitches in the world. Life sure as hell can make you conflicted, but it sure as shit has a way of working out.

  Seventeen months later

  “Sweetheart, you almost ready? We need to leave in a few minutes.” I am sitting on the couch, waiting for Mel. She comes walking out of the bedroom, and I want her to turn around and go back. She looks fucking amazing, but shit, she always does. I get up from the couch and walk over to her. I wrap my arms around her and kiss her. When I pull away, we are both a bit breathless. “I’m wrong. We have plenty of time.” She laughs and kisses my chin.

  “No, we don’t. If we don’t get going, we are going to be late.” I try to mimic her pouty face, but it causes her to laugh again.

  “I’ll tell you what. I’ll make it up to you tonight. I bought some new lingerie that will need some breaking in.” I pull her closer to me so she can feel that she has gotten the attention of my cock.

  “You’ve got a deal.” I swat her ass, causing her to yelp. “Just wait, sweetheart, that was nothing.” She looks at me with lust-filled eyes, and I smirk. Two can play that game.

  We grab our gift and head out the door. If we didn’t, I know for damn sure we would be late. When we make it into the truck, she turns to look at me. “I’m so excited. Do you think they will like the present? I mean, she has everything, and I wasn’t sure. I called Kenz, but she was having the same problem.” I back the truck up and pull out onto the road.

  “Mel, I told you, it’s perfect. You worry too much.” She sticks her tongue out at me and rests her hand on my knee. I can’t help but look down at her engagement ring. I asked her six months ago to marry me, and after she finally stopped crying, she said yes. Connie and she have been non-stop talking about the wedding. She already asked Kenz, Maddie, and Becca, as well as Connie and Karen, to be in it. I don’t give a shit if I have to work doubles for the next year, I will give her the wedding of her dreams.

  “Oh hey. I heard from your mom this morning when you were in the shower. She invited us to dinner next weekend. Of course, I told her we would be there.” I pick up her hand and kiss it.

  “Sounds great.”

  We drive for a bit longer, and I park the truck. We both hop out, and I grab her hand. We make our way to the apartment door and knock once before walking in. There are only a few people here. I look around and see Addison. We walk over, and I squat in front of her. “Happy first birthday, baby girl.” Like always, she smiles up at me.

  “Uncle Dickhead! Aunt Sweet cheeks!” Young yells walking toward us. I stand up while Mel covers Addison with kisses.

  “Hey, Young.” He comes over and picks up his daughter. “I can’t believe she’s a year old already.” He kisses her, causing he
r to giggle.

  “No S-H-I-T. it went so fast.” I can’t help laughing out loud.

  “Did you just spell that?” He rolls his eyes.

  “Maddie said I need to watch my mouth around her now since she’s starting to pick up words. I sure as he . . . heck, don’t want my beautiful princess to be a trash mouth.” Young has definitely changed since Addison was born. At first, he didn’t believe it was a girl. He actually didn’t believe it until she was born. He was adamant that he only wanted a boy, but once they put that beautiful little girl in his arms, his perverted heart melted. He has become one of the best fathers I know, and I’m damn proud of him. Don’t get me wrong, Young will always be Young, but when Addison is around, he’s a father, first and foremost.

  “Dick, Mel. Thank you for coming.” I hug Maddie and kiss her cheek. She and Mel begin talking about Addison, and I smile. Mel is going to be one hell of a mother one day, just like Maddie. Addison had really been the best thing to ever happen to her. Her demons are finally laid to rest, thanks to this blue-eyed, blonde-haired beauty. She was terrified the closer it got to the delivery that she wouldn’t be fit to be a mom, especially when she found out it was a girl. But just like Young, when she was put in her arms, she cried. She cried tears of happiness and tears of renewal. Addison healed her completely.

  “Uncle Campbell and Aunt Kenz are here.” I turn and hug them both.

  “Give me my goddaughter.” Kenz takes Addison from Young and carries her over to the girls. After the wedding, I swear to you it was like those two fell more in love. I honestly didn’t think that was possible, but somehow it happened. Campbell even confided in me they are trying to have a baby.

  “You two douches want a beer?” We head to the kitchen and all grab one. Becca and Jeff walk through the door, still glowing from their honeymoon. They were married last month. It was a huge ceremony, much bigger than what Campbell and Kenz had, but it was exactly what Becca always wanted.

  “Hey, the newlyweds are here.” Becca hugs us all and goes off to find the girls. Jeff grabs a drink and joins us in the kitchen. Young is talking about diaper rash, Campbell and Jeff are talking about marriage, and I smile before I take a sip of beer.

  This unbelievable journey we started just a few years ago has brought us so far. We may never be the same people we were when we started. We’ve all changed, made commitments, and dealt with more than enough conflicts, but that’s what makes this our story—a story of friendship, love, and happily ever after.

  It’s been a hell of a journey, that’s for damn sure.

  THE END!

  My Bitches! I don’t know what I would do without each and every one of you. You are the most amazing support team anyone could ever be lucky enough to have. You make me laugh, cry (tears of happiness of course) and brighten every single day. We are a family, a crazy, perverted, oogling family, but a family no less. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you do for me. I love you all to infinity and beyond.

  I could not have done this without the love and support of my beta readers who are also my amazing friends. Melissa Gill, Alexandra Godfrey, Alisha Cole and Natasha Weir. Thank you for your honest opinions, for pointing out things that I may want to fix and for loving my story. You girls have no idea how much confidence you gave me. I love you all more then you could ever imagine. Thank you for making me laugh, smile and cry tears of pure happiness. You all have a special place in my heart!

  My amazing friend who has never once made me feel otherwise, Alexandra Godfrey (Ally). Thank you for everything you do for me, from being my PA to listening to everything I have to say, making me laugh and making sense out of so many things. You’ve been there from the start and I can’t tell you how much that means to me.

  To my friend, my author bestie Tiffany J West. Thank you for everything you do for me and with me. I am so thankful for the friendship we have found! #BT2090

  A special thanks to my editor Kelly Hartigan. Thank you for making my book the best it can be. I love the friendship we have formed. My formatter Stacey Blake, thank you for making my book beautiful. It would be incomplete without you. My cover designer Melissa Gill for making me the most beautiful covers. You all have a talent that I am so thankful you share with me! Thank you.

  A huge thank you to Sandra Love. Thank you for always going above and beyond to help with my blog tours and for being such a great friend!

  To all the blogs and bloggers that help spread the word, read my books and write amazing reviews. Without you the Indie world would be a much harder place. I can’t thank you enough for all the support you have given me. You are all my rock stars!

  A special thanks to my husband Russell. You put up with a lot, don’t think I don’t appreciate it. You shell out a lot of money to make my dreams come true. Thank you for your support. I love you.

  Thank you to my three amazing kids, Russell Jr, Jeanette and Hailey. Thank you for understanding when I yelled that it was because I was writing. For dealing with a grumpy mom a lot of the time. Most of all thank you for being three of the best kids a mom could have. I love you all with all my heart!

  To each and every one of my readers, without you I am nothing. I cannot thank you enough for being along for the journey. You are the reason I love doing what I do, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  I Touch Myself by Blondie

  I Can’t Wait by Ben Rue

  I am 36 years old. I am married to my high school sweet heart. We have been married for 12 years and have 3 amazing kids. I’m a stay at home mom and my kids definitely keep me busy. I live at the Jersey Shore and love all there is to do here. I love nature, birds especially. I enjoy hiking and fishing with my family.

  I have always loved to write. In high school I used to write stories, poems and a lot of love notes! I absolutely love to read. I love the way I can get lost in a book and forget about the world around me. Now that I am writing books, I feel the same way, only it’s my book I’m getting lost in.

  As for now, I am loving this journey of becoming an author. It has been more then I dreamed it would be.

  You can always find me online. I love social media, so please feel free to interact with me.

  http://www.facebook.com/AuthorHeatherDahlgren

  https://twitter.com/HeatherDahlgren

  https://www.goodreads.com/author/dashboard

  The Center Of His World—Coming Soon

  Chapter 1

  “SHIT!” I thought I heard, but my head was killing me and I was too scared to open my eyes or even move at this point to see who said it. I don’t remember much of last night. I remember winning the football game. The football players, us cheerleaders, and a whole shit load more all went to Lisa’s house for a party. There was dancing, drinking, making out, drinking . . . oh shit I said that. There was a shit load of drinking. I remember dancing with all my girls when Josh, my boyfriend, came over and we went outside to hang out for a while. I remember drinking more and it’s all blank from there. My freaking head is pounding.

  “Beth. Shit, Beth!” Oh my god who the fuck is yelling. “Beth!” Are you kidding me, shut the fuck up. I’m thinking this because if I open my mouth I’m pretty sure I’m going to throw up. I feel a shove on my shoulder “Beth.” Who the hell is in my room? Again, I feel a shove. Fucking Josh, why is he here so early or did he stay the night? I’m never drinking that much again, I can’t even remember if he stayed. “Shit Beth, please wake the fuck up!”

  I decide it’s best if I just roll over slowly and keep my arm on my eyes, that way he’ll know I’m up . . . kind of. So I do, I roll over and keep my arm on my eyes. “What the fuck Josh, my head is killing me, please shut the fuck up.” I said in a quiet whisper so my head doesn’t explode. Never did I expect to happen, what happens next.

  “Beth, oh my God, holy shit.” And I realize it’s not Josh talking, that’s not his voice. I sit up and grab the sheet to cover myself and try to get my bearings of just what the hell is going on. I turn my head
and see him, Shaun. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I’m so confused. What happened, well I’m pretty sure we had sex considering we are both naked, but how, why? All these questions are running through my already pounding head.

  He is staring at me wide eyed and I just cover my face with my hands. I’m humiliated. This is my best friend Stacey’s boyfriend, he’s Josh’s best friend. Don’t get me wrong am I attracted to him, hell yes. I always have been, but Stacey went after him and got him. I would never have done anything after that. I moped around for a while behind closed doors, because she got him and I didn’t stand a chance. Then I started going out with Josh and it’s been that way for most of high school. I always felt bad for Shaun because Stacey, although my best friend, is not a great girlfriend. She likes to flirt, she likes to have all the attention and she gets it. After all when you’re a cheerleader and you are gorgeous that’s just what happens. Shaun usually acts like it doesn’t bother him and he says it’s because she is leaving with him. But I know he is full of shit, because Stacey is the female version of Josh. He loves to flirt, loves the attention from all the girls. I too act like it doesn’t bother me, but I hate it. I get so jealous I can’t see straight sometimes.

  “Umm Beth?” Shaun says bringing me back to the here and now.

  “Oh my god Shaun, what the hell happened?” I say in a whisper so quiet I don’t even know if he hears me.

  “I don’t know.” Is all he says. I look over at him and he is still looking at me with wide eyes.