After All This Time: Breaking Point

by Brown, Brittainy

  The Confrontation

  Two days later, she was buried in her work. This was one way of preventing herself from thinking about Liam.

  “Hey babe, what’s up, it’s way past your leaving time, what are you still doing here?”

  She looked up and found Robin, one of her colleagues, a guy who had earlier been asking her out before she finally accepted a date with Liam. Robin had been an editor way before her. He used to be her boss before she got promoted, but she had never really liked him; his lean body, tanned skin, well known as the company’s biggest flirt. According to rumours, he had asked every single lady in the company out, but every one of them had turned him down.

  “I know, I just need to finish working on this article,” she replied.

  “Is everything okay? You’re never the type to stay behind. You’re the type that rushes home to meet her Romeo,” he said with a mischievous grin.

  Emily was quiet, she was fully engrossed in what she was typing and she had no time to waste.

  “You know when people like you stay behind, something must be going wrong in… paradise.” He pushed, leaning against her table with his hand resting on the computer monitor.

  Emily paused what she was doing, then looked up at him.

  “What do you want, Robin?”

  Robin smiled. “Nothing really, I just kept wondering maybe if you had accepted my proposal then, perhaps you wouldn’t be going through this denial.”

  Emily scoffed at his sudden outburst before continuing her job. “What the hell are you talking about? Who is going through denial?”

  “Well, either you or your boyfriend, but I know something is wrong. First, you not only stayed behind after everyone had gone home yesterday, now you’re doing it again. I knew something was wrong yesterday and when I got to the bar and I found our dear Romeo, the man you chose over me, deep into several bottles of beer… I knew something was wrong…”

  Emily thought for a while, digesting what she just heard. “What are you saying? Who did you meet at the bar?”

  “Well, I see, I just got your full attention. I saw Drake or Dave, or whatever his name is, at the bar last night. He wasn’t looking good at all, I think he’d had about twelve beers.”

  “You mean you saw Liam, my Liam?” She asked again to be sure and to her surprise, the man nodded.

  She leaned back and crossed her legs as she chuckled painfully. She had been going back and forth to his house for the past two days and never for once run into him. Ever since the dinner, he hadn’t contacted her, and now someone had spotted him at the bar. Her Liam in a bar? She shook her head in a deep regret. If she wasn’t sure that he was hiding something earlier, now she was definitely certain.

  “Well, I guess I’m right, seeing how lost for words you are.”

  “Robin, can you give me the address of this bar?”

  “Sure, you want to be my date?”

  “I will be if you’ll take me there tonight.”

  “Well, that’s something I always love to hear. I’ll pick you up by 8:30, wear something seductive,” he said with a wink before walking towards the elevator.

  Just after Robin left, Emily shut down her computer and let out a huge sigh. She just couldn’t understand what was happening again, it was unfolding exactly the same way it had the first time, and now it was just getting worse. Now her boyfriend was visiting bars, since when? When did he start burying his sorrow in bottles of beer?

  She remembered when they had started, how they used to tell each other everything. She was his confidante and he was hers. She remembered how they would talk morning, afternoon and evening before they would eventually spend the night together. Where did all that go?

  She was tired, tired of this relationship which was making her feel like a wet cloth on a cold day. Every muscle in her was giving way to gravity. She was done!

  If Robin had found him at the bar, that means other people who knew them as a couple would have seen him as well. Didn’t she read somewhere that when you’re drunk you start talking nonsense, and probably even reveal your hidden secrets? Whatever he was hiding, she hoped he hadn’t exposed himself. But then, what could be that bad?

  She thought of what he could be hiding that would be so awful that he couldn’t tell her. Could he have killed someone by accident? Or on purpose?! Well, if that was the case, then there was every possibility of him going to jail!

  No, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t hurt a fly… but people change don’t they? A month ago, she would have sworn he would rather keep things to himself than go to a bar and drown himself in liquor, but now he was doing just that. Well, tonight she was going to confront him, and if he still wouldn’t tell her what he had been keeping to himself, then she would have to make a very difficult decision.

  The Breakup

  The bar was barely lit, and the air was hanging with cigar smoke, cheap perfume, sweaty skin and all dirty furniture. There was a foreign music being played, she couldn’t understand a single word from it. Robin looked around for a table where they could sit, meanwhile she tried not to choke from the cigar smoke that wafted through the place. Robin was under the impression that they were on a date, but he was far from being right.

  “I think I prefer that spot,” she said, pointing to a particular dimly lit area which was situated directly opposite the entrance. There, they would be seated where she could see everyone who went in and out of the bar while remaining hidden. She wanted to stay as hidden as possible so that when Liam finally came in he wouldn’t even see her, let alone recognize her.

  “Are you sure, babe?” Robin asked, and continued, “because, that area is too dark. If you want Liam to know that you have moved on, he needs to be able to see you.”

  “Oh, don’t worry Robin, he’ll see me just fine,” she replied, walking towards the empty seats.

  Robin looked uncomfortable with her decision but she didn’t care, she had come here for one reason only, and pleasing Robin was not it.

  “So, should I order anything for you?”

  “No thanks,” she replied, now focusing on the entrance.

  “Well, then I’ll go order my own drink, are you sure you’ll be okay alone for a while?”

  “Yea, sure,” she replied. Robin came closer, attempting to kiss her on the cheek, but she moved her face away. Her former boss straightened up, cleared his throat and excused himself.

  For a while, Emily’s eyes were fixed only on the entrance. Different people came in, young and old, men and women, but most of them looked like they had some heavy things in their hearts to get rid of. She glanced towards the bar, there were a lot of people sitting at it, and just one lady attending to them all. There was a big tattoo on her neck, and her clothes exposed most of her cleavages.

  The men in front of her seemed to be enjoying the view, as she kept bouncing up and down while trying to serve them. The bar lady seemed to be enjoying whatever she was doing to these men.

  “What should I get you?”

  She looked up and noticed a woman (a girl really) far younger than she was addressing her. Just like woman behind the bar, her dress wasn’t covering much of anything, but who was she to judge, after all, she had come to a bar.

  “Nothing, thanks,” she replied, and the lady moved on. Emily could see half of her buttocks hanging out of the tiny shorts she was wearing.

  The thought of her boyfriend being here sent some unwanted feelings down into her tummy. Had he been coming here also, and has he been noticing these women as well? She tried not to stare too much, but she couldn’t help it. She was embarrassed. If Liam had found comfort here then he was even worse than Charles. She looked away, then back at the entrance, and immediately, her heart did a double flip as she recognized who had just come in. Dressed in his white shirt and black jeans was Liam. He looked like he hadn’t had a good sleep in a while. His hair was untidy, and even though it was just two days since they had last spoken or seen one another, every part of her missed him.

 
; As he came in, he, first of all, looked around. For a moment she held her breathe, she thought he had spotted her so she looked away. Later, from the corner of her eye, she spotted him making a move towards the bar. What surprised her was that, even with the numerous customers at the bar, the bartender recognized him immediately and even waved at him.

  She felt her palms begin to sweat… no, it couldn’t be, he wouldn’t cheat on her with a bartender, if she knew him at all he would never stoop so low.

  Later, she watched him move to a seat about five away from hers. The way he slumped into the chair made her realize how tired he must actually feel. Then he signalled to one of the waitresses moving around and she came to pour him a drink. When the lady left, Emily knew it was the moment she had been waiting for.

  * * *

  Liam sighed and sighed until he could sigh no longer. Yet again, he’d found himself here even though he had promised himself last night that he would never be here again. It wasn’t like the place offered him any consolation, but for one thing; he could stay away from Emily and questions he was afraid to answer if he came to the bar. The shrink had said he was ruining his relationship and he just didn’t know how to fix it, well, not with the last stunt he pulled. Bailing out on her during a dinner he had prepared. How would she ever forgive him?

  The truth was he didn’t know what had gotten into him. He had completely forgotten they were taking a vacation. He hadn’t even wanted to go to Outer Banks, but she didn’t know that. He had hoped that their money would eventually be returned since they hadn’t heard from them sooner. Besides, he remembered when he and Kate were planning their honeymoon, one of the agents had said failure to get a reply within a week of payment would mean they couldn’t get the house and that was what he had expected until she just brought up the news and, once again, he panicked.

  He groped for his handset in his pocket, he wanted to check the time and then remembered he had misplaced his phone again last night.

  Just then a lady came over to him.

  “Hi, Sasha said to give you this, said you forgot it last night.”

  “Oh!” Was all he could say. In the lady’s hand was his phone, he thanked her and collected it. “Thank you so much. “ He said while the woman walked away.

  “Wow! You’ve really become a part of the family haven’t you?”

  Liam believed his ears were deceiving him when he heard the voice, but when he saw her standing right in front of him, arms akimbo and eyes flashing with disappointment and regret, he knew he had no more hiding to do.

  He was clearly mortified as he sat frozen in the spot. “Ba..ba be…” he stuttered.

  ‘Don’t you dare call me that!” she snapped at him. “You are unbelievable! So this is who you really are? This is what you have been doing all these while I cried myself to sleep every night thinking I was the cause of whatever shit was going on between us?”

  Liam attempted to stand up but she stepped back, pointing her index finger at him.

  “Babe, I’m sorry I just had…”

  “You had all the time in the world to tell me what was going on with you but you decided to shut me out. I asked you several times, I came through for you but….” She bit her lips while shaking her head bitterly. Tears were now flooding down her cheeks.

  “Emily, baby…” He started, standing up again but she shifted back and would not let him touch her.

  “Listen to me, Liam. You have had all the time to talk and now this is my chance.”

  He nodded without hesitation.

  “We were supposed to be partners. So many times I thought I was the cause of whatever you were going through and now I realized I have been so stupid to have listened to you in the first place. You deceived me for so long and I kept hoping things would be better but you just… just kept lying. Why? Why would you do that to me, to us? You broke so many rules, Liam, you broke my heart!”

  “Emily, please let me talk…” He pleaded.

  “No, it’s your time to listen because I listened when you kept on lying to me that everything was okay with you,” she said sternly, not bothered that half the people in the bar were looking at them now.

  “You chose this and this is what you’re getting. I just can’t believe I have been stressing myself all this while, thinking I was the cause, do you know how that felt? Do you have any idea what I went through? You made me reflect on my past relationship, I was going crazy. I went to your house several times, morning, afternoon, night to find you, to talk to you.”

  “I am so sorry, Emily,” Liam said weakly.

  “No, I’m the one who’s be sorry because I expected more of you. But you are such a disappointment.”

  “Wow! I guess this is a family reunion, let me not interrupt.”

  They both turned to see Robin, who had stumbled on them.

  “Emily, you used me, wow, way to go girl!” he said with a wink to Emily before leaving the couple.

  “So, I see how you found me,” Liam said as Robin disappeared.

  “Yea, he told me you’ve been coming here lately, so I thought I’d come to see for myself,” Emily explained, her brows bustling together.

  “Emily, really I am…”

  Emily turned and was walking out of the bar, without thinking he rushed to his feet and followed.

  * * *

  When she got outside, she paused for a while, she needed to breathe because it was like she hadn’t been breathing in that place. How would anyone find comfort in such a place where she couldn't even get a good supply of oxygen.

  All the time inside, when she was with him, she’d been filled with a suppressed rage that was screaming to be freed. Now, she was exhausted internally.

  She moved towards the side of the road to catch a cab home.

  “Emily, babe, please wait…”

  She heard his voice as he rushed to catch up with her but she ignored him totally. As he got closer, he tried to hold her hand so she turned around sharply.

  “Emily, please, we can fix this. We can make this work before our anniversary.”

  This actually got her attention and she turned directly to face him. “Anniversary? You mean the vacation you clearly have no interest in? You see, I have wasted my time trying to make you happy Liam. Clearly, you don’t deserve to be happy, you can be miserable all you want but I am going to that place whether you like it or not.”

  “Of course baby, we are going together as a couple…”

  “No, we are not,” she stated.

  “But baby, please, we can fix this…” he pleaded again. “You still love me don’t you.”

  Emily sighed and stopped a cab, then turned to him again.

  “Yes, Liam, because I love you is why it hurts like this. You are not going to that vacation with me. I am not going to waste my time with someone who cannot share whatever he is going through with me. So what is the essence of being in a relationship, anyway? If you want to keep to yourself, keep to yourself. I am so done with you!” Then she turned around to open the car door, but Liam held it, stopping it from being closed.

  “Baby, please, you don’t mean that. What are you saying?”

  “What I’m saying is that I am breaking up with you. It’s over, Liam! I will come get my stuff from your place once I’m back from my vacation. Don’t call me and don’t come to my house. I swear if I see your feet near my house, I will call the cops.” Then she slammed the door and Liam watched as the car drove off.

  * * *

  For a while he couldn’t move, he just stared at the car till it was out of sight. He could feel nausea swirling unrestrained in his empty stomach and his head swam with a pile of half-formed regrets.

  What had he done? He’d just allowed his worst nightmare to become a reality. He had tried to keep things to himself and now he had lost her as well…

  The heartache was making him weak at the knees, and his hands were rolled into fists. His nails dug into his flesh painfully, but that was not what was torturing him. The hear
tbreak was like a red hot coal placed on his chest, the pain had snapped him out of misery and now he realized he had snapped out of it too late.

  He felt a tear roll down his cheek as the night breeze blew against his youthful skin.

  “You just got your heart broken, chap.”

  He recognized the bartender’s voice behind him but he was too weak to say anything.

  “You should have told her the truth like my sister asked, you know.”

  He said nothing. What could he possibly say? Right now he just knew it was too late to do anything.

  “Come, I’ll call you a cab,” the barwoman said, but he didn’t even flinch. Later a car stopped beside him and he got in.

  “Where to?” The driver asked him but he said nothing.

  “Just drive, he will tell you when to stop.” The bartender, who was still outside, said to the driver.

  “No problem,” the man said, before turning on the ignition key.

  * * *

  Liam was quiet the whole ride. He knew he had messed up big time and he didn’t know how to fix it. He thought of going back to the shrink but then he thought better of it. He’d ignored her advice, after all.

  He kept running his hand through his hair. He was unable to sit still.

  “Do I make a left turn or a right turn?” the driver asked, looking at him from the front mirror.

  “Left turn, I mean right turn,” he stuttered. He was so not himself.

  “Which exactly please?” the man asked again, sounding a little bit annoyed.

  “Right turn, sorry,” Liam replied.

  The driver nodded and took the right turn. Just then, he switched on the car radio and the music of Dido came through:

  .........I haven't ever really found a place that I call home

  I never stick around quite long enough to make it

  I apologize that once again I'm not in love

  But it's not as if I mind that your heart ain't exactly breaking