A Year of Taking Chances

by Jennifer Bohnet

  ‘What about wine?’ she said suddenly to Ben. ‘Yes or no? Red or white? Or just water?’

  ‘Wait and see what Travis prefers,’ Ben said. ‘We have both. Are you going to have another quick look through the papers before Travis gets here?’

  Jodie hesitated but before she could answer they heard a car arrive.

  ‘Too late, he’s here,’ Ben said. ‘Do you want me to let him in – or are you going to?’

  ‘Let’s do it together,’ Jodie said, knowing that having Ben at her side as she welcomed Travis to their home would help banish the mixed feelings she was currently harbouring about him.

  As they opened the front door Travis was lifting a large potted plant out of the boot of his car.

  ‘I was going to bring you some flowers,’ he said. ‘But then I thought a plant for your new garden would perhaps be better?’ He looked at Jodie nervously, waiting for her reaction as he placed the plant on the ground.

  ‘You didn’t have to bring anything,’ Jodie said, bending down to cover her confusion at the unexpected gift and reading the name label attached to the main stem.

  ‘It’s a lemon tree. So many buds on it and the label says it’s a four-seasons one. I know just where I’m going to place it – by the French doors that open onto the terrace. Thank you. It will look wonderful in a terracotta pot.’ She pushed the thought ‘and good or bad, it will be a constant reminder of today and you’ out of her mind. It was a nice gesture from Travis. ‘Come on in.’

  ‘I’ve brought some papers and photographs too,’ Travis said, following her into the house holding a cardboard package close to his chest.

  ‘Mum’s papers are in the sitting room,’ Jodie said, leading the way.

  Travis placed his papers on the coffee table alongside Jodie’s box before turning to face her.

  ‘Before we start, can I just say I honestly didn’t come halfway across the world to cause trouble or make you unhappy. I simply needed to find my sister. The sister my father didn’t tell me about until the last few months of his life.’

  He stopped talking and agitatedly ran his hand through his hair. ‘After today we don’t have to see each other again if you don’t want to.’

  Jodie looked at him. ‘How old are you?’

  ‘I’m twenty-four – twenty-five in January. I was born about eighteen months after Dad arrived in Australia.’

  ‘Did… did Dad say why he’d never told you about me?’ Jodie asked quietly.

  Travis shook his head. ‘Just that he really regretted being estranged from you. It’s because of him that I’m here. He made me promise to find you.’

  ‘Mum said she was sorry to me as she died. I thought she was referring to the accident but now I’m sure it was more for the things she’d done in the past. And things she’d left unexplained,’ Jodie said.

  ‘Why did you finally decide to meet and talk to me?’ Travis said.

  Jodie took a deep breath.

  ‘I found the Decree Absolute in an envelope a few weeks ago so I knew you had to be telling the truth about my father not dying when I was led to believe he did. So, eventually, with a bit of persuasion from Ben, I figured I needed to know the whole story – or as much of the story as we can piece together. Whether I like it or not,’ she added quietly. ‘But then, when I finally started going through Mum’s papers, I found this letter from her.’ She picked up the letter from the table and handed it to Travis. ‘I think her regret and guilt increased as the years went by. You can read it if you like. Having discovered it, my big regret now is not reading it a couple of years ago, after she died, when it would have been me coming to Australia to find…’ She hesitated. ‘To find Dad. The really sad thing about all this is, he would have been alive then too. I could have met him. Did he say if he ever tried to contact me?’

  Travis hesitated. ‘I think your mum made it difficult,’ he said quietly.

  Jodie nodded. ‘I can believe that.’

  ‘Dad left you a letter too,’ Travis said, opening the package he’d placed on the table and taking out a sealed envelope.

  ‘I was given strict instructions to hand this to you in person and to answer any questions you might have when you’ve read it.’

  Jodie stared at the envelope with her name, ‘Jodie Saville’, written in perfect script across it.

  ‘Dad didn’t know you’d married,’ Travis said. ‘It was something I discovered when I started looking for you.’

  ‘Beautiful handwriting,’ Jodie murmured, unconsciously tapping her foot on the floor as she studied the envelope.

  ‘Dad was proud of his handwriting,’ Travis said. ‘He was forever trying to make me improve mine.’ He glanced at Ben. ‘Does Jodie often do that?’

  ‘Do I do what?’ Jodie asked, mystified, looking up.

  ‘Tap your foot.’

  ‘Oh, sorry. I didn’t realise I was doing it,’ Jodie said, immediately keeping her foot still.

  ‘She does it all the time,’ Ben said. ‘I always know when she’s uptight or nervous about something.’

  ‘Dad used to do the same when he was agitated,’ Travis said quietly.

  Jodie looked at him but said nothing as she opened the envelope carefully. She moved away from Travis and began to read the first and last letter she’d ever received from her father.

  My dear Jodie, if you are reading this letter it means that the reconciliation I’ve longed for over the years will never happen now. Which fills me with regret and saddens me.

  I’ve had a good life over here in Australia, one I’d hoped in the beginning to share with Jacqueline and you, but it was not to be. Jacqueline had her reasons for not wanting to leave England and I had to respect that while, at the same time, knowing it wasn’t the place I wanted to stay all my life. I did ask her repeatedly to change her mind and join me out here but stubborn was her middle name. She said she couldn’t imagine living in a foreign country. (Are you stubborn too? It’s not a bad trait when used carefully.)

  In the end we decided it was better to set ourselves free so we could both have another chance of a loving relationship, but I want you to know, Jodie, that your mother was my first true love and I loved you from the moment you were born. It broke my heart leaving the two of you.

  But, I was lucky enough to meet and fall in love with Caroline and have Travis with her. I’m sad your mother never remarried and wish she too could have found a second chance at love.

  Travis will tell you everything he can about me – he’s a lot like me in many ways and maybe through him you’ll get an inkling of the kind of father I wanted to be for you. My dearest wish is that the two of you can form a brotherly-sisterly relationship even at this late stage.

  I’m sorry I haven’t been a presence in your life but I sincerely hope you are happy and will continue to be so.

  Your loving father,

  Tom Saville

  Travis was watching her as she looked up from reading and Ben silently handed her a tissue.

  ‘Wow, that’s a letter I never dreamt I’d receive, let alone read,’ she said, wiping her eyes, the despondent phrase ‘if only’ springing into her mind again. Another letter received too late. ‘I don’t know what to say other than I wish it wasn’t too late to change things.’

  ‘We can’t change the past but we can stop the estrangement if you want to,’ Travis said quietly. ‘Get to know each other. Try to build that brother-sister relationship Dad mentioned. But you have to promise not to start bossing me about just because I’m your kid brother,’ he added, grinning at her uncertainly and waiting for her reaction.

  ‘Spoilsport – what’s the point of having a younger brother if I can’t tell him what to do!’ Jodie said, taking a deep breath. ‘Right, let’s talk more over lunch.’

  During lunch Travis told them about his childhood and showed Jodie several photos of him in the Outback with their father. In return Jodie showed him a few photos of her and Jacqueline on holiday in Tenby, which seemed very tame in comparison.r />
  ‘Is this home?’ Jodie said, looking at the photograph of a wooden ranch.

  ‘Yes, that’s where I grew up. If you come and visit I’ll drive you out there,’ Travis said. ‘You will come and visit, won’t you? Mum would love to meet you and spoil you with good old Australian hospitality.’

  ‘Has your mum always known about me?’

  Travis nodded. ‘Dad apparently told her before they got married because he didn’t want any secrets from the past causing problems between them in the future. It was only me he didn’t tell until recently.’

  ‘At least he didn’t lie to you,’ Jodie said.

  ‘He did by omission,’ Travis said quietly. ‘Which is as bad.’

  Jodie nodded. ‘True.’

  ‘Where are you staying at the moment?’ Ben asked. ‘We know you spend a lot of time with your friend up in the mountains, but down here?’

  ‘I’m in the next village,’ Travis said. ‘I think next time I’m over I’ll rent a gite.’

  ‘Don’t be silly. You’ll stay with us,’ Jodie said, reaching for another photo. Silence greeted her words and she looked up to see both men regarding her. ‘What? Of course he stays here.’ She smiled. ‘I need my kid brother where I can keep an eye on him.’

  It was nearly five o’clock when Travis stood up to leave, after promising to become a regular visitor before he left to go home for Christmas.

  Standing by the door waving goodbye, Ben put his arm around Jodie’s shoulders and she leant against him thinking how strange life could be – and how quickly it could change. From being the only child of a widow a few months ago, she suddenly had two new families – one in France and one in Australia.

  ‘I like your brother – I hope you do too?’ Ben said.

  ‘D’you know what? I think I do,’ Jodie said. ‘I’m looking forward to getting to know him.’

  Chapter Forty-Five

  It was a week before Luc got back in touch with Tina to rearrange their meeting. A week in which Tina tried her utmost to concentrate on work and put Luc out of her mind. Something that was relatively easy during the day, even when she had to email him about his book. She was strict with herself on those occasions, muttering ‘he’s just another client’ under her breath as she typed. It was the evenings that were tough, when her thoughts strayed constantly to where he was, what he was doing, what the latest problem had been.

  The text he sent this time gave her very short notice. Meet me in the café in the park near you at five? It was gone half past four when the text arrived – which presumably meant there was little chance of this meeting being cancelled. Which was good. But what if she’d been busy? Even as the thought crossed her mind, Tina dismissed it, knowing nothing would have stopped her getting to the park to meet Luc.

  Running through the damp streets and dodging the Christmas shopping crowds, Tina reached the wrought-iron gates of the park and slowed down to catch her breath. The flashing fairy lights around the windows of the café situated in the old gatehouse at the entrance beckoned her in and she pushed the door open.

  Inside, a few of the tables were occupied but there was no sign of Luc. Tina ordered a hot chocolate and pulled out a chair at a vacant table by the far wall from where she could people-watch and wait for him to arrive. The atmosphere in the café was lovely and Christmassy, with the tree and background noise of carols playing, and reminded Tina how close Christmas in fact was. She hadn’t even bought a packet of cards yet, let alone thought about presents for people. Pulling a notebook and pen out of her bag she decided to make a start on a Christmas to-do list while she waited. She was so absorbed in her task she didn’t see Luc arrive.

  ‘Hi, Tina.’

  Startled, Tina looked up. ‘Hi. Sorry, I didn’t see you come in.’ To her surprise there was a small girl holding Luc’s hand and smiling at her.

  ‘Hello. I’m Penny. I’m pleased to meet you.’

  Tina gulped. A very grown-up little girl. ‘Hello, Penny. I’m pleased to meet you too.’ She gave Luc a questioning look.

  ‘My daughter,’ he said briefly before turning to Penny. ‘Hot chocolate and a flapjack for you, princess?’

  ‘A cupcake?’ Penny said hopefully, but Luc shook his head. ‘Another hot chocolate for you?’ he said, looking at Tina.

  She shook her head. ‘No thanks. Wouldn’t mind a flapjack, though.’ The sugar would help calm the shock she was feeling. Ex-wives were one thing, but a child?

  Penny pulled out a chair and clambered up on it while Luc went to the counter to order their drinks. ‘What are you writing?’

  ‘A list of all the things I have to do for Christmas. Have you written to Father Christmas yet?’

  ‘No. Daddy says he’ll take me to see him in his grotto at the zoo this weekend so I can tell him exactly what I want.’

  ‘Good idea,’ Tina said. ‘But you could write to him as well. It’s always a good idea to have a backup plan. Would you like a piece of paper?’

  Penny nodded eagerly. ‘But what do I do with the letter?’

  ‘Send it to him, of course.’ Tina leant in and whispered, ‘I still have his address from when I used to write to him.’ She handed Penny her pen. ‘Off you go.’

  Luc, setting the tray down on the table, glanced at Penny, who, intent on doing her best writing, ignored him. ‘You’re busy. Who are you writing to?’

  ‘Father Christmas. Tina has his address,’ Penny said without looking up. ‘It’s a backup plan in case he forgets after I’ve seen him in his grotto. He can check the letter and it will remind him.’

  ‘OK. Good idea.’

  Luc passed a flapjack to Tina. ‘So how was France?’ he asked quietly.

  ‘France was good. Would have been even better if you’d been there,’ Tina said.

  ‘I’m sorry I wasn’t,’ Luc said.

  ‘Can I go to France one day?’ Penny said, not looking at them but obviously earwigging on their conversation.

  ‘One day perhaps,’ Luc said, turning to look at Tina.

  ‘I’m sorry, too, about last week, but this one was ill,’ he said, nodding his head in Penny’s direction.

  ‘She lives with you?’

  ‘And Nonna and Grampy,’ Penny said.

  Luc grimaced. ‘Look, we can’t talk now but can I come round later this evening?’ he said, keeping his voice low. ‘I wanted you to meet Penny before I… before I explained things.’

  Tina nodded and mouthed the words, ‘After eight?’

  ‘I’ve done it,’ Penny said, putting the pen down. ‘Now what do I do with it?’ She looked at Tina expectantly.

  ‘Daddy will find you an envelope when you get home and you post it,’ Tina said. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he knows the address.’

  Penny rewarded her with a beaming smile. ‘Will you come to the grotto at the weekend with us?’

  ‘I’m not sure,’ Tina said. ‘I might be busy but if I can I will,’ she added, seeing the disappointment on the little girl’s face. She couldn’t tell her it all depended on the talk Luc was planning to have with her tonight. ‘But I’m sure I’ll see you again.’

  Luc gave her a quick look before standing up. ‘Time to go. Say goodbye to Tina.’

  ‘Bye, Tina. Don’t forget to give Daddy Father Christmas’s address.’

  Outside the café, Luc and Penny turned left while Tina crossed the road to the small supermarket. There wasn’t any wine in the flat and she had the feeling that tonight she was going to need a glass or two.

  Tina was on autopilot when she got back to the flat, her thoughts going round and round in a veritable whirlwind, thinking about Luc and Penny. Why had she never considered he had a child?

  She opened the red wine to let it breathe while she put the rest of the shopping away – she’d bought some cheese, ham, salad, a baguette and a quiche in case Luc wanted to eat. A quick tidy of the sitting room and she poured herself a small glass of the wine and sank down onto the settee.

  She’d guess that Penny wa
s about six years old and Luc clearly adored her. Who was the mother – and where was she? Did Luc have full custody? Was Luc still married? Did they all meet up at the weekends and play happy families – is that why weekends were so difficult? Why did they live with his parents? So many questions.

  Luc, when he arrived, was subdued and tense. He accepted the glass of red wine Tina poured for him gratefully and swallowed a couple of mouthfuls before sitting on the settee. ‘Mmm, nice.’

  ‘Would you like something to eat?’ Tina said.

  Luc shook his head. ‘Maybe after we’ve talked.’

  Tina waited while he took another drink before placing the glass on the table and turning to face her and taking hold of her hand.

  ‘Penny’s a lovely little girl,’ Tina said.

  Luc smiled. ‘She has her moments but she is the centre of my life these days.’

  ‘What about her mother?’

  Luc sighed. ‘I hope you’re ready for this. I met Penny’s mother, Annie, at a fundraising event eight years ago when she worked for a large charity. It was her first job after leaving university and she was passionate about helping people in poorer countries. In fact, passion could have been her middle name – everything she did was done with one hundred per cent enthusiasm.’ Luc smiled. ‘She truly believed she could make a difference – and she did in many cases. And she was so full of fun and vitality. I was smitten with her from the word go.’

  ‘She sounds an amazing person,’ Tina said, her heart sinking. It sounded as though he still loved Annie.

  ‘She was. Mind, she was far from perfect. She could be moody and I’ve yet to meet anyone as untidy as her – although Penny is shaping up well in that department.’ Luc picked up his glass and finished his wine.

  ‘So, we moved in together and life was good. I was working in the City earning good money, Annie worked hard for her charity, we had a great social life. Then Annie fell pregnant. I was over the moon and immediately began to make plans for getting married and buying a house with three or four bedrooms and a garden, because of course we’d have more than one baby.’ He stopped talking for a second or two before saying quietly, ‘Annie didn’t want to know.’