A Year of Taking Chances

by Jennifer Bohnet

  Tina looked at him. ‘Why on earth not?’

  ‘Said she’d never wanted to go down that bourgeois path, didn’t feel the necessity of having a piece of paper to tie us together and definitely didn’t want to own a house.’

  Luc ran his hand through his hair. ‘It’s funny how you feel you know someone inside out and then something they say or do makes you realise that actually you don’t know them at all. I pointed out we were already living what I’d describe as a materialistic life – my salary at the time was huge, we both had decent cars and we rented a very nice mews house in Highgate. That’s when she told me. If she hadn’t met me she’d happily have stayed living off her pittance of a salary in a less salubrious neighbourhood and travelling everywhere on public transport.’ Luc rubbed his chin agitatedly and was silent for several seconds.

  ‘Getting pregnant had never been on her agenda. She’d just decided she wanted out, and had applied to do some fieldwork somewhere in Africa, and now she was pregnant she’d have to withdraw her application. Suddenly I was Mr Bad Guy. I’d trapped her.’

  ‘How did you feel about that?’ Tina asked. ‘You must have been terribly hurt.’

  Luc nodded. ‘The whole thing knocked me sideways.’

  Tina picked up the bottle of wine and poured them both another glass. ‘So, did you split up before Penny was even born?’

  Luc shook his head. ‘No, Annie stayed. Outwardly everyone thought we were happy starting our family, but the tension at home, not to mention the rows, was hard.

  ‘Naively, I felt everything would change once the baby was born. It did but not when, or the way, I expected. It took a year for things to blow up. The day after Penny’s first birthday, Annie told me she intended to reapply to do fieldwork in Africa. There was a year’s contract on offer.’ Luc was silent for a few seconds. ‘That was when things began to finally unravel. Leaving me was one thing but I couldn’t begin to understand how she could even contemplate leaving Penny.’

  ‘What did she expect would happen with Penny?’

  ‘She assumed my parents would help me – which they did and still do, as you know. Luckily, before she left, I insisted we saw a lawyer and Annie agreed I would legally be sole custodian of Penny.’

  ‘Luckily?’

  ‘She stayed out there for four years,’ Luc said quietly. ‘When she did come back last year she was ill. She’d picked up a tropical disease. She’d been back three months when she died.’

  Tina looked at him stunned. ‘Did she see Penny when she returned?’

  Luc shook his head. ‘No. Unfortunately we made the mistake of telling Penny that Mummy was coming home before we knew the true reason and she began to count down the days. Then the isolation hospital Annie was in said the risk of infection was too high in the beginning and their meeting was delayed and delayed until it was too late. Penny has zero memories of her mum.’

  Listening to Luc, Tina felt several emotions run through her body. Sadness for Penny and Luc, regret at the waste of a life and anger at the way Annie had treated both of them. Now, as she squeezed Luc’s hand in silent sympathy, she struggled to find the right words to say.

  It was Luc who broke the silence. ‘Did you say something about food? Might be a good idea – we seem to have finished the bottle of wine.’

  Tina got to her feet. ‘Ham baguette and salad OK?’

  ‘Sounds great. I’ll give you a hand.’

  Buttering the baguettes while Tina sorted the salad, Luc said quietly, ‘I’ve been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you about Penny ever since I met you.’

  ‘Why? Did you think I wouldn’t like her? She’s adorable.’ Tina put the salad and sliced ham on the worktop.

  ‘No, it wasn’t that. It was in case you didn’t like me as much as I hoped you did and didn’t plan on staying in my life. I didn’t want to introduce you to Penny only for you to decide six months down the road that you wanted out. Not only would that hurt me but in all probability Penny would be upset, especially now – she couldn’t stop talking about you on the way home this evening.’

  Luc put slices of ham in the baguettes and piled salad on top. ‘You have to understand Penny and I… well, we come as a package.’

  He looked up at her. ‘So, do I continue to have a strictly business relationship with Tina Matthews Literary Agency. Or…’ He took a deep breath. ‘Will Tina Matthews be my girlfriend and a special friend to a little girl called Penny as well?’

  Chapter Forty-Six

  The day before he was due to leave, Travis invited Jodie and Ben to lunch in the village hotel. Although they’d asked him to stay with them for the last few days before leaving to go home, he’d said thanks but no thanks and booked a room in the hotel for his last night. ‘I’ll definitely take you up on that offer next year, though,’ he said.

  The table they were given was in the orangery again – an orangery now decked out with a huge Christmas tree in one corner and a crib placed on a low table nearby. Ben had smiled when he saw the crowded crib and taken Jodie and Travis over to explain the local significance.

  ‘After Mary, Jesus and the baby, the other santons, or figurines you’d call them, represent local people. The farmer, the boulanger, the schoolteacher, the shopkeeper, the winemaker, the hotel keeper.’ He’d turned to Jodie. ‘The église will have a more traditional one in the church porch and most homes will have a crib set up at Christmas somewhere in the house. Usually the santons are handed down through the generations. Mama has some beautiful antique ones. I need to get our crib organised and I know Mama will start us off with a santon or two.’

  Travis, fascinated by the santons, couldn’t get over the detail and fine carving on them. ‘My mum would adore one of these. Shame it’s too late to find one this year.’

  Once they were seated and meals ordered, the three of them chatted away and Travis entertained them with tales of his misadventures with the cattle on the ranch as he was growing up. After their desserts, as the waitress asked them about coffee, Ben stood up with a regretful sigh.

  ‘Thanks for lunch, but I’m going to have to leave you two to it. Things to do. Here’s the car keys,’ he said to Jodie. ‘I’ll walk back to the house. Travis, it’s been great to meet you and I’m already looking forward to your visit next year. Have a safe journey back down under.’

  ‘I can run Jodie home if you want to take the car,’ Travis offered.

  Ben shook his head. ‘The exercise will do me good.’ He gave Jodie a swift kiss and was gone.

  Jodie, realising that Ben was being tactful and leaving her to say her goodbyes to Travis on her own, looked at her brother. ‘So, you looking forward to getting home?’

  ‘I’m looking forward to some warm weather, that’s for sure, and Mum’s promised to come to Sydney for Christmas instead of staying out on the ranch on her own.’

  ‘Will it be just the two of you for Christmas? Any girlfriends waiting for you to hurry home?’

  ‘Maybe a couple but no one serious. I guess you and Ben will be spending it with Annette and Thierry. They’re due back from honeymoon soon, aren’t they? Shame I missed saying goodbye to them.’ He gave Jodie a serious look. ‘I meant it when I said I hoped you’d come for a visit next year. The four of you would be more than welcome.

  ‘Thanks. We will come – at least Ben and I will – but I doubt it will be next year.’ Jodie hesitated. ‘It’s top secret in that we haven’t told Annette yet, but as you’re leaving at the crack of dawn tomorrow, when we do visit there will be three of us.’

  Travis looked at her, puzzled for a second or two, before his face cleared and he smiled. ‘You’re expecting?’

  ‘Yep, by this time next year you’ll be an uncle.’

  ‘Brilliant. Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?’

  ‘Just a healthy baby,’ Jodie said. ‘Would you be willing to be a godfather? I’d like it if you would.’

  ‘You bet,’ he said without hesitation. ‘That will give me a real excuse to spoi
l him or her rotten.’ He caught hold of her hand. ‘Dad would have been so proud of you. He would have made a wonderful granddad.’

  Jodie blinked the tears away. ‘My mum, too, would have been a wonderful grandma. So sad neither of them lived to be one.’

  Travis squeezed her hand. ‘We’ll make sure the next generation know all about them, OK?’

  Jodie nodded. ‘Sounds like a plan, bro.’

  After hugging Travis goodbye and getting into her car to go home, Jodie sat for a few moments before switching on the ignition, her fingers playing with the pendant around her neck. Her mother might have been selfish in the way she’d dealt with being left to bring up her daughter on her own, but she’d been a good mother despite lying about the past. If only she’d been brave enough to tell her the truth years ago, things would have been so different for them both.

  As Jodie sat there, she realised she had to let go of the hurt her mother’s actions had caused. It was too late for recriminations. ‘I wish things had been different but I know you truly loved me, Mum, and did what you thought was for the best, and that’s all that truly matters,’ she whispered, pressing her lips against the pendant. ‘I only hope I can be as good a mother.’

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  Tina spent the next two days thinking about Luc and the question he’d asked her. Tossing and turning at night too, she went over and over in her mind what she should do.

  Was she prepared to be his girlfriend and part of an instant family? It was all very well for Luc not to want to hurt Penny – she didn’t either – but what about her? She might only have met the little girl the once but Penny had already grabbed a piece of her heart and Tina knew it wouldn’t take long before she, like her father, had completely stolen it. Tina also knew that, unlike Annie, she would never be able to walk away from a vulnerable child if for some reason the relationship between her and Luc fell apart.

  And how would Penny herself react to Tina being in Luc’s life? She’d seemed to like her in the café but would that turn to resentment if Luc and she became a proper couple? Luc’s parents, too, were an unknown worry. How would they feel about their son becoming involved with a new woman and their granddaughter? In fact, everything about the situation worried her, Tina realised. Still so many unanswered questions. The only consistent thought running through her mind was how much she liked Luc and wanted to be in his and Penny’s life.

  At three o’clock in the morning of the second night, Tina found herself in absolute agreement with one of her mother’s favourite sayings: ‘Life is one big lottery and there ain’t no guarantees.’ And with that thought in her head she finally turned over and went to sleep, to dream about life with Luc and Penny as a family.

  Sitting at her desk the next morning she picked up her phone and texted Luc.

  Please may I come to the zoo with you? xxx

  Tina saw Luc and Penny waiting for her by the zoo entrance before they saw her and her heart flipped as she stopped for a moment to look at them both. How could they have become so important to her so quickly?

  Waiting for the pedestrian ‘walk’ light to flash, she mentally crossed everything and gave a silent prayer that what she was going to say to Luc this afternoon would be acceptable to him. If not, she intended to keep to a professional relationship only with Luc, although in fact she’d insist he signed with another agency, so the break would be complete on all sides. Not only would her heart be broken, the agency would in all probability fail without Luc’s bestseller, but that was the way it would have to be if he didn’t agree.

  ‘There she is,’ an excited Penny shouted as she saw Tina. Wrenching her hand out of Luc’s, she ran straight into Tina’s arms. ‘We’ve been here ages.’

  ‘Oh, sorry, am I late?’ Tina said, looking at Luc as she gave Penny a cuddle.

  He shook his head. ‘No, we arrived far too early because madam here couldn’t wait to see you.’ He leant in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. ‘C’mon then, let’s go. Favourite animal?’ he said, turning to Tina.

  ‘Penguins,’ she said. ‘Yours?’

  ‘Lions.’

  ‘Guess what mine is.’ Penny tugged on her hand. ‘Mine’s penguins too. Can we go see them first?’ Which is what they did, with Penny between them, holding hands and trying to persuade them to give her swing after swing.

  After seeing the penguins, they made for the lions, followed by the monkeys and then a mug of hot chocolate and toasted teacakes for them all before finding and following the signs for ‘Winter Wonderland and Father Christmas’. As Penny skipped ahead for once, Luc took hold of Tina’s hand.

  ‘Are you going to keep me in suspense much longer? I’m hoping, as you’re here, that I’m going to like your answer to my question,’ he said quietly.

  ‘I need to say something first,’ Tina said. ‘We don’t know whether a relationship between us would be rock solid although I have a good feeling about it.’ She looked at him and smiled. ‘And I know your main concern is for Penny not to get hurt.’ She took a deep breath. ‘But if it were to go pear-shaped in the future, I couldn’t just walk away from Penny as well as you. I’d want to keep in touch with her because she already feels special to me. Would you still let me see her if we were to split?’

  Luc stared at her before silently pulling her into his arms and, ignoring the stares from other people, he gently kissed her. ‘Tina Matthews, I love you more than I ever thought possible. Penny and I are incredibly lucky to have you in our lives. I promise I would never ever come between the two of you.’

  ‘In that case you have a new girlfriend,’ Tina said, savouring the admission that he loved her and reaching up to whisper it back into his ear. ‘Because I love you too.’

  Standing in the queue waiting for her turn to see Father Christmas, Penny whispered to Tina, ‘Daddy posted my letter to Father Christmas a few days ago – d’you think he’ll have read it yet?’

  ‘Probably not,’ Tina said. ‘He’s very busy.’

  ‘Good. Cos I want to tell him I’ve changed my mind so could he please ignore the letter when he does read it.’

  Tina nodded. ‘That should be OK. What are you going to ask for instead?’

  Penny looked at her. ‘It’s a secret.’

  Standing hand in hand with Luc, watching Penny follow the White Fairy to speak to Father Christmas, Tina felt truly happy for the first in… oh, forever really. She was in love with Luc and adored Penny. Life was good. ‘Did you sneak a look at Penny’s letter to Father Christmas before you posted it?’

  ‘Of course,’ Luc said. ‘Luckily the main item, a scooter, is already bought and hidden away.’

  ‘Anything else on it I can buy her?’ Tina said.

  ‘I think Mum has the rest covered,’ Luc said. ‘But I’m sure we can think of something.’

  ‘Father Christmas is talking to her for a long time,’ Tina said. ‘He’s looking at us now. D’you think you ought to go and fetch her?’

  ‘No, he’s handing her the present now and here she comes,’ Luc said.

  ‘I like Father Christmas,’ Penny said, smiling at them both happily. ‘He didn’t mind a bit about me changing my mind, so long as I’ve been a good girl. I have, haven’t I, Dad?’

  ‘Mainly good. Now Nonna and Gramps are waiting for us at home, so let’s go.’

  ‘I’ll say goodbye then,’ Tina said. ‘It’s been a lovely afternoon. I expect I’ll see you again before Christmas.’

  Penny burst into tears. ‘But Daddy promised you were coming home with us. I helped Nonna make mince pies especially this morning.’

  ‘Penny, stop crying now.’ Luc looked at Tina apologetically. ‘Sorry, I forgot to mention you’re invited to tea. You can come, can’t you? Mum seems to think it’s time she met you.’ His eyes met Tina’s and she knew he wanted to introduce her to his mum.

  She bit her lip. It was Saturday, she’d had a lovely afternoon and she didn’t have any plans for the rest of the day, so why not? It would be lovely spending more
time with Luc and Penny. Tina pushed away the terrifying thought that Luc’s mum wanted to inspect her. She’d have to meet Luc’s parents sooner or later. It would have been good to be more prepared though, dressed up a bit, bought a small gift, flowers or something, but no time for that.

  She took hold of Penny’s hand. ‘You and Nonna made mince pies especially for me? How can I not come for tea?’

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  Preparing for her first Christmas in France was, Jodie found, exhausting. Food shopping. Card shopping. Making cakes and mince pies. Present shopping. So many people to buy for: Annette. Thierry. Nicola and Gilles. Ben. She’d left it too late to post anything to Tina; she’d have to wait until the New Year when she was here. Slowly she began to tick things off her list.

  For Jodie the village fete marked the real start of the Christmas holiday. To her delight Ben had taken little persuading to accompany her. ‘The fete traditionally marks the beginning of Christmas for me. Wouldn’t dream of missing it,’ he said. ‘In fact, this year I shall stop working as of today until the New Year.’

  The plane trees around the village square had twinkling lights wound around their trunks, and more fairy lights were looped between each tree. The tall Christmas tree in the centre of the square had make-believe snowmen, reindeers, pixies and elves grouped around it. A roast-chestnut stall was doing a roaring trade alongside the mulled wine stand when she and Ben arrived mid-afternoon and stopped to listen to an accordion player encouraging everyone to sing along to the carols he was playing.

  Standing there holding Ben’s hand, Jodie looked around and decided the scene in front of her, with the background of blue sky and the snow-capped mountains behind the village, was picturebook perfect. She sighed with contentment. She was so lucky to have met Ben.

  Wandering around with Ben, Jodie was surprised by the number of people she knew who stopped to wish her and Ben a Happy Christmas. Nicola and Gilles were there with the twins, of course, Gilles able to relax and enjoy the event now his duties as chairman of the organising committee were over.