Dissonance

by Drew Elyse

  Eli took a deep breath. “Before I can give you this, you need to really understand what you’re getting into. I assume this is behind all the drama last night. Did you already work this out with Char?”

  “Yeah. She’s going to give me a shot,” I replied. Pointing to the box, I asked, “What is it?”

  “It’s for Char, from our mom,” he explained. “Think of it as a vote of confidence.” He rubbed a hand across his face. “Look, I’ve told you before that we knew early on that Char was unique. She’s afraid of opening up to people. Our mom told me Char would need a push to actually let the right man in if she found him. Mom always waited for the day she could tell Char she’d found someone worth fighting for. When she got sick, she found this to tell her that. It’s my job to give it away when the time is right.”

  For the second time since I showed up, I was barely breathing as Eli continued, “You have to understand that as much as Charlotte deserves to fall in love, Mom was afraid that she would probably drive love away before actually opening up on her own. Mom was afraid of what the regret might do to her, and that was before was before we lost her, before that damn scar, before everything.

  “If she’s going to give you a chance, then she must think you could be it. The one. Whatever. Honestly, I was afraid that she’d given up on the whole idea a while ago. You have no idea how fucking monumental it is that she’s letting you in like this. If you really think that this thing with her is all of that, then go ahead.”

  The one. One person to possess me, to own my body and my soul. Giving myself completely to Charlotte, damn the consequences. Yes, that is what I want. I wanted it, and I wanted her, forever. She made me feel whole when I hadn’t really known there was something missing. Like she had the missing piece to my jigsaw puzzle hiding with her all along.

  “You really think it could be me?” No point in hiding the hope behind my words. I wanted it more than my next breath.

  “I can’t be sure, but I knew from the start that there was something there. Hell, I had the feeling there could be before you two even met, if for no other reason than the fact that you’re both music zealots.”

  Wait, what? “And you still made me sweat out all your ‘hands off’ warnings, and just let her ignore me for a week straight?”

  The asshole smirked. “I didn’t go to the show last night,” he pointed out. “I told you her date with Leo meant nothing. You’re going after my sister; I wasn’t just going to make it easy on you. You had to earn it. Besides, I knew if it was going to work, it would without me giving you approval upfront to go after her. And if I had? You’d have run scared from it, anyway. I did what was best for both of you, I let you sneak up on each other.”

  “Well, look at Eli becoming Mr. Matchmaker. Alex is starting to rub off on you.”

  Eli groaned. “Yeah, the damn minx. But I’m serious, man. You hurt her and our friendship means shit. She’s fragile, and you need to be real damn careful.”

  “I know. I will,” I assured him.

  “And don’t give her that yet,” he added as he handed me the box at last. “Hold onto it until the right time.”

  “When’s that?”

  “When you need to remind her how you feel.” I just stared back at him. “Believe me,” he said in that sage tone that weirded me out. When did my best friend become a love guru? “When you need it, you’ll know.”

  I was glad to find that Charlotte wasn’t waiting for me in the living room when I got home. It gave me an opportunity to safely stow the box Eli had given me. As I hurried into my room, I could hear the sound of Neon Trees coming from Charlotte’s. When I felt I’d hidden it well enough, I followed the sound.

  Charlotte was dancing around her room in a yellow bra and panty set as she shifted through her closet. The rush of emotion and desire that mingled inside me was invigorating. I’d never felt anything like it. Despite the gut wrenching shit Alex had laid on me, seeing her swaying around happily made my heart soar. I could have just stood there forever watching her, but she seemed to sense my presence.

  When she turned to face me, I released the smile that had been building since I walked in. “Hi.”

  Her entire body flushed and her arms crossed awkwardly in front of her, but she smiled at me all the same. Her embarrassment was too much. Swooping in, I wrapped both arms around her so she was flush with my body and planted a kiss on her lips.

  “Please, don’t stop on my account.”

  With her staring up at me, I couldn’t stymie the hard-on I’d had since walking in and seeing her body barely covered by the bright fabric. Still blushing, she arched an eyebrow at me. “Do you have my brother’s permission,” she asked sardonically, “or does he know you too well?”

  “Ouch. That’s real nice. I try to be respectful of our relationship and your brother and I don’t even get a little gratitude?”

  She rose up on her toes and brought her lips within a millimeter of mine. My entire body ached with the need to kiss her. I tried to swallow back the urge and nearly choked from the tension in my throat. “Don’t hold your breath,” she whispered and pulled back, grinning diabolically.

  “Has anyone ever told you you’re a tease?” I sighed as she removed a dress from her closet. When I looked back up at her face, I noticed that I’d lost her. Her face was ashen and her pupils were huge. I watched her frightened eyes flicker down to her wrist before she busied herself getting ready.

  Alex’s warnings that morning and the stories Eli had told a week ago came rushing back to me: “I don’t know what broke her that night. I think I may have had something to do with the guy she was seeing…” What the hell had he done to her?

  Anger consumed me. I was furious beyond sense at the realization how deeply someone had hurt her. Someone had damaged her so deeply that she broke. I wanted to hunt him down. I wanted to kill him for nearly killing her.

  She was still with me, though. For the moment, I focused on that. She wasn’t lost. I couldn’t change her past, but I could make her future better.

  I wrapped my arms around her from behind while she checked her face in the mirror. What she was checking for, I had no idea. She looked stunning, as always. Seeing myself beside her in the reflection had that stupidly happy feeling I was becoming accustomed to swirling around in my gut.

  “What do you want to do today?” I asked her, hoping to bring her back to the light mood we’d had all morning.

  Her smiled returned, and I barely contained my sigh of relief. “I thought you had a plan.”

  “I do, but it can change if there’s something you’d like to do.” I grinned. I thought seeing her in my arms was nice, but seeing it with that cute smile on her face had all of my anger fleeing. That smile was the ultimate panacea.

  “I want you to take me wherever you planned.”

  “Perfect.”

  Wandering through the Pike Place Market with Charlotte’s hand in mine felt spectacular. She wandered through the shops animatedly, and laughed brightly watching the fish tossing. Something about having her on my arm not only made me feel like the luckiest man alive, it made me feel invincible. With her in my life, nothing could knock me down. The smile on her striking face only enhanced the feeling. I knew she’d enjoy the market – after all, it was famous for a reason – but she was more thrilled than I ever would have expected.

  Unable to contain it, I grinned down at her. “You really like it, don’t you?”

  Her radiant smile shone back at me. There was an unfamiliar quality to her expression that made it all the more powerful, a sort of serenity that she’d never shown before. The lurking sadness seemed to have vacated, at least for a while. It made me want to pound my fists against my chest in triumph.

  “It reminds me of my time in Italy. There were markets and shops with the most spectacular food. I’ve missed it,” she replied wistfully.

  Placing a gentle kiss on her head, I wondered if I would get the chance to experience anything like that with her. If she coul
d make the market that I’d been to countless times seem all the more incredible, what would she do to some of the greatest sights in the world?

  We wandered into a old-school record store and spent the better part of an hour browsing the collection of rare vinyl and taking a few gems with us. She protested when I insisted on paying for the lot, but I was already obsessed with finding ways to make her smile. I wanted to pile gifts at her feet because she deserved it. After we left the shop, however, she gave me a sweet “thank you” before pressing her plump lips to mine in a soft but electrifying kiss.

  We wandered through multiple book stores. Charlotte was unstoppable. She sifted through every shelf, pointing out books she loved, inspecting ones she hadn’t read. Hearing her come alive talking about how some book had a “quintessential Victorian aesthetic” or how another’s “use of fluctuations of time was spectacular,” was adorable, but also had me lost more than once. She’d get on a role, comparing books and authors I had never heard of, dissecting the writing, getting so animated over things she’d read even years ago. Despite the fact that I wasn’t sure I had ever read a book that was not assigned to me, those bookstores were the highlight of my day.

  When Charlotte slipped away to the bathroom, I frantically called Eli to serve as my much needed diversion. I had a little surprise planned. It wasn’t much, but I just wanted Charlotte to feel special.

  “Dude, if you propose to my sister on you first date, I will kick your ass,” Eli replied to my request.

  “It’s not an engagement ring, calm the fuck down. It’s just a little something,” I could have actually told him, but it was too easy to mess with him. “I need to grab it and pay before she actually sees, though. When I text you, I need you to call and distract her for five minutes. Can you do that?”

  He agreed and I hung up just in time. Charlotte reappeared at my side just as I slid the phone back in my pocket.

  “Who was that?”

  “Just checking my office voicemail,” I lied easily, despite the annoying twinge it caused. Damn, I’d never be able to really lie to her.

  “On a Saturday?” She didn’t sound suspicious at all, just curious.

  “Sadly, you’d be surprised. Some things and people never wait.”

  “What do you do, exactly? You’ve never really told me about your job.”

  “Well, that kind of is what I do. I oversee the residential side of our business. Usually I deal primarily with acquiring new properties, but when problems come up with other things, it comes up to me,” I stated. “My brother, Caleb, manages the commercial properties. Dad sort of divided things up that way.”

  “He must trust you a lot.”

  “More like he’s trained the two of us for this our whole lives.”

  Charlotte seemed to pick up the hint of distaste in my tone. “He must care about you though, to give you an opportunity that I’m sure people would line up for.”

  “He does,” I yielded, knowing it was true. “Don’t get me wrong, he isn’t a bad guy. Dad’s great. It was just always a bit awkward between us. I told you before that he bonded more with Caleb, where as I got Mom. We have a better relationship now. You’ll see when you spend time with them.”

  She looked up at me with wide eyes. “You want me to meet your family?”

  The disbelief in her voice was jarring. I knew she was still a bit unsure about us, but I hated that it manifested as self-doubt. She really was convinced that I wouldn’t be swollen with pride to introduce her to my family.

  I dragged her tighter into my side and kissed the crown of her flowing hair – a spot that was quickly becoming one of my favorites. “Of course, I do.”

  She leaned into me, laying her cheek against my chest for a minute. That was one of the reasons I loved to kiss her head, it always drew her in closer to me. I couldn’t help but notice the way she blossomed under physical affection. She seemed starved for that sort of attention. To hear Eli tell it, she’s always been sort of removed from the people around her. Thankfully, she didn’t seem inclined to pull away from my constant need to shower her with affection. At least, not yet. I don’t know why I was different, but I’d take it.

  Seeing the shop I’d been waiting for, I shot off a text to Eli as discretely as possible while steering Charlotte aside. I tried to quiet the rush of nerves I had as I waited for Eli’s call to come through. Charlotte jumped slightly when her phone began to buzz in her pocket.

  “Eli,” she read the display, “I’ll be right back.”

  I watched as she disappeared before sneaking into the store. I knew exactly what I wanted, grabbing the perfect one and hurrying up to the counter to check out. The woman behind the counter, a kind older woman who thought my gesture was “adorable,” as she rang me up quickly. I appreciated her hurrying for me, but every heartbeat felt too long, like the surprise was going to be ruined before I could get back to Charlotte.

  “You’re all set, young man. Go surprise the lucky lady,” the woman told me with a cheeky grin. I liked her.

  “I’m sure I’ll be back.” I winked as I gathered up my purchase.

  “Just keep me in mind when you get in trouble,” she answered. When. She might not be wrong there.

  “I will.”

  I rushed out of the shop, balancing my purchase precariously behind my back. Charlotte turned my way as I approached, clearly looking around for me with the phone still at her ear. Her face had the cutest look of confusion. By the time I was standing beside her, she’d hung up the phone.

  “Eli said he was distracting me,” she said.

  “That asshole, he wasn’t supposed to tell you,” I muttered.

  She looked sort of nervous as she glanced at my arms that were wrapped behind my back, clearly waiting for the reveal.

  “He said that if you proposed, I am supposed to say ‘no.’” Well, that explains the nerves.

  “Angel, I promise you that I am not proposing. We are not anywhere near ready to consider that,” I insisted. “This is just a little something. I told that ass that I wasn’t proposing, he’s just trying to bust my balls.”

  She looked relieved at that. “Then what were you doing?”

  I moved the pure white orchid in front of me. Her surprised face was exactly what I had been hoping for. Her eyes sparkled as she took the plant from me.

  “It’s beautiful, Logan,” she whispered.

  “It reminded me of you. I finally had to look at your shampoo to figure out what flower your hair smelled like.” She blushed. “There are instructions for how to care for it attached,” I told her. “I didn’t want to get you some bouquet that would just die in a few days. I wanted to give you something that would last.”

  From the look in her eyes when they met mine, she picked up on why I wanted to emphasize that difference.

  “It’s perfect.” Just like the woman holding it.

  Part of me wanted to scoff at that ridiculous thought, but there was no point. Charlotte had me sunk. Instead, I took her hand and allowed myself to just enjoy the afternoon.

  Thursday morning, I was running on the high of Charlotte being mine. I hated leaving for work each day, even when I knew she had to too. I would rather go back to bed and seclude ourselves there, permanently. She had slept in my bed every night since I had admitted my feelings for her, and waking up next to her each day was becoming addictive.

  Unfortunately, my high was killed off quickly. My inbox had flooded since I had left work the night before. Maybe it was my own fault for not checking it, but I had already worked late, again. I wanted an evening with my girl without having work on my mind.

  Scrolling through email after email, I noticed that a few had to do with commercial properties that should have been directed to Caleb. When I saw the sender, I pushed away from my desk and went right to the source.

  My father’s office was just feet away from my own. Westfeild Realty Group was housed in the top two floors of a mid-rise building downtown. We actually owned the whole building
, our first commercial venture, and leased the other floors to companies for office space. Dad had chosen to outfit his office on the west side of the building so he could get a view of the Puget Sound.

  His secretary, Jeanine, smiled when I approached. “‘Morning, Logan,” she greeted. Jeanine was a petite woman in her early 50s who had been with the company for years. She was a sweetheart, which helped offset the fact that my father could be intimidating when he was in a mood.

  “Good morning Jeany,” I answered with the same smirk I always give her.

  “Boy, one day you’ll regret not dropping that nickname.”

  If I honestly thought she didn’t enjoy trying to put me in my place, I might stop. But I had been calling her Jeany since I was fifteen and coming to the office because I had gotten in trouble at school, and I felt no need to stop now.

  “Come on, you know you love me,” I teased.

  With a roll of her eyes, she asked, “You here to talk to your father, or just to distract me?”

  “I need to talk to him. Is he busy?”

  “Nope, go on in,” she instructed.

  I knocked on Dad’s door, waiting for his response as I threw back at her, “You’re our top asset, Jeany.”

  Just as opened the door to walk in, she responded with a cheeky, “I know that, it’s you I’m not sure about.”

  I chuckled, some of my good mood restored. Dad noticed as I walked in, and immediately asked, “Are you harassing her again?”

  “Of course not. Just reminding her how important she is around here.”

  He snorted at that. We liked to tease Jeanine, but no one would dare undervalue her. Even Mom was on Dad’s case all the time about making sure he treated her right.

  “What can I do for you, son?” Dad asked, though I suspected he already knew the answer.

  “You can start by telling me why you’re sending a bunch of commercial issues my way. Why isn’t Caleb handling them?”

  Dad nodded, confirming that he knew that was what had brought me in. The heavy frown that consumed his features was more that slightly worrisome. He was not usually one to get down about things. I was not so sure I wanted to hear his answer anymore.