He licked gently the first few times, making my breathing speed up but once I got used to the speed and pressure he increased the pressure of his lips taking that very sensitive bit of flesh in his mouth and sucking on it a bit like he did on my bottom lip when we kissed.
That elicited a gasp from me and my hands gripped the comforter while he commenced to alternate licking and sucking that particular spot.
The feeling was in a way similar to when he had used his finger to stroke me there but different: this was softer, wetter and way more intimate.
He kept a steady rhythm, kissing and sucking and I was now a shuddering mess: my breathing coming in short and fast gasps, my hands gripping the comforter so hard that I was sure my knuckles had become white.
I opened my mouth, on the edge of a big wave of pleasure that threatened to come crashing down at any time, holding my breath, when Xander moaned against me and that totally got me: I started quivering and shaking and a scream escaped my lips.
This was the most intense pleasure I had ever felt and it took me a while to recover from it.
When I stopped shaking, Xander took me in his arms, stroking my hair and kissing the top of my head.
‘I love you, Clary...’
For a few minutes I couldn’t even talk: I was tingling everywhere, and my skin felt so sensitive all over, a dull pleasant ache invading all my limbs.
‘I love you too...’
I whispered when I finally could talk.
He held me tight for a few moments longer and then I said, looking into his eyes:
‘That was... I don’t think I have ever felt so loved in my entire life. Thank you, I think my knees will be unable to support me for a week after the way you made me shake but it was just...’
He smiled and whispered:
‘Since a few days ago, during the storm, when I realised that you had got a Brazilian wax, I couldn’t stop thinking about doing that...’
I trailed my hand down to his black boxer briefs and asked him if we could take those off too...
‘Ah... Clary, are you sure? Like I told you last time, I don’t expect you to do anything if you don’t...’
I kissed him to shut him up and tugged his underwear down.
This was my absolute first time seeing a man naked, I only knew what to expect because of health class but Xander was absolutely beautiful.
The first thing I noticed was that there was no hair but he didn’t have any anywhere else, except that very fine little hair on his arms and legs.
He had told me before that he shaved because with all the sports he played, and the consequent sweating, he didn’t like being hairy.
I admitted to myself that I preferred this kind of look: I had seen other boys at the beach and Justin in his Speedos and I really didn’t like hairy bodies.
He also was big. Way bigger than I expected: touching was one thing but looking at it, I wondered for a second how all that would be able to fit inside me but I guess that was a worry for future Clary because tonight I was just going to return the favour.
I had asked Brie to explain what I should do after my first night in Xander’s bed: I didn’t want to disappoint and Brie was my most reliable source.
She had told me that men didn’t look that pretty down there but I really liked the way Xander looked: his skin looked quite smooth all over his length and I already knew how silky it felt to the touch.
The top of it, the bit that looked like an upside down heart, was especially pretty since it was also a bit more pink than the rest.
I run my hand up and down his length a few times and he closed his eyes, enjoying my touch.
I knew I could have just touched him and he would have been happy but I was determined to do to him what he had just done to me, so at first, I tentatively run my tongue on his tip, along its seam.
His eyes opened and he gasped, looking at me and about to say something but I didn’t want him to try and be nice to me or be polite saying that I didn’t have to do it.
I knew he would never demand anything of me but what I wanted to know was if he wanted it, because I wanted to learn every possible way to pleasure him and I told him exactly that.
‘Hmm... Ok...’
‘Just tell me if I do something that doesn’t feel good, please. And don’t worry about hurting my feelings, as you will know, this is the first time I do this, so I really just know what to do in theory...’
He nodded and I lowered my head taking his tip into my mouth and thinking straight away that it was bigger than I expected, I slid my mouth down his length as far as possible but I started to feel like I was going to gag when I had got him only about halfway in.
I remembered that Brie had told me to relax my jaw and my throat and that helped a great deal because before I knew it I was looking at his groin.
He let out a gasp when I moved back up and then down again, paying attention to cover my teeth and dragging my tongue all up and down his length.
I repeated that a few times and then I used my tongue around his tip, teasing that silky and smooth skin and still stroking his length with my hand.
‘Oh, my god...’
He moaned softly and opened his eyes, our gazes now locked while I continued to lick and stroke at him.
I felt him getting increasingly bigger and harder in my mouth and that spurred me to increase my speed slightly and add a gentle suction to what I was doing.
He let out another moan, his breathing now rugged.
‘Clary... It’s very good... Too good...’
Again he was trying to give me a way out but I put my free hand on his chest pushing him slightly down, to communicate my intention to finish what I started.
I tightened my grip on him and then felt the whole endeavour getting a bit too sloppy so in an attempt to improve the situation, I closed my lips tighter on the tip and sucked in a bit harder to get rid of the excess moisture but that must have been too much for Xander because he closed his eyes and moaned softly and then the most fascinating thing started happening in my mouth: he started twitching and I felt his pleasure starting to gush in my mouth.
I kept licking until everything stopped and then smiled at him: he was looking at me with his eyes big and shiny and his voice came out low when he said:
‘You might need to spit...’
I went to nestle up in his arms and he welcomed me with an interrogative look in his eyes.
‘Spit what?’
I asked.
He caressed my jaw lightly, his look more intense.
‘Did you seriously...?’
‘Swallow it? Yes, why, does it bother you?’
He squeezed me tighter.
‘It doesn’t bother me, baby... That’s actually the hottest thing I think I’ve ever seen... But you might not want to...’
‘Why?’
I asked.
‘Doesn’t it gross you out?’
I shook my head.
‘Xander, it’s your body and that’s the way it tells me that it likes what I am doing... It could never gross me out. If you haven’t noticed, I love your body... And I really wanted to taste you. You are sweet and salty at the same time... Actually not unpleasant at all...’
He smiled and placed a finger on my bottom lip.
‘You taste like butterscotch...’
He wrapped us in his soft bedsheets and we fell asleep skin to skin, his arms protectively around me.
***
The present
‘So? Did the cat get your tongue?’
He laughs.
‘You haven’t answered my question...’
I run my hand through his light brown hair and inhaled his scent of sandalwood and amber.
‘Sleeping next to you is my favourite thing because when I’m not with you I miss you... And because of all the amazing things we end up doing together, Xander...’
He kisses me, full of emotion:
‘Do you want to know something? What we did last night... It was my fi
rst time going down on a girl...’
I open my mouth in surprise.
‘Really?’
He nods.
‘Yes. I had a few girls doing it to me... I was with my ex for my whole senior year but before... Well, I was a football player, so... Shit, what a cliché! Let’s put it this way, I dated a bit before her and lots of girls would want to go to third base, to quote Brie... I might have been to a few parties too where there was a bit of fooling around, girls topless in the hot tub, stuff like that. Maybe a couple of hook ups where I might have been given that kind of attention...’
‘You are sounding like Joel...’
‘No, baby. I never did the stuff he does. Never with more than one girl at once for example. Also, I don’t know, it was mostly my junior year I went to a few parties but I lost interest pretty quickly in that kind of things. You can ask Joel, that was when we went to the same school and after his mom died... I guess that was a wake up call. He started getting so drunk that I stayed sober and ready to get him out of trouble...’
‘And with your ex, you never...’
‘She wasn’t much into it anyway, even going down on me. And this is why when you swallowed... God, I can’t even think about it without getting excited... No girl had ever done that.’
‘You seemed to know exactly what to do though...’
He blushes and Xander is not the shy type.
‘Do you promise you won’t laugh or think I am totally weird?’
‘I promise to try not too laugh and to do my best not to think that you are weird, how is that?’
He laughs and starts touching the inside of my wrist, trailing up to my shoulder and then back down: damn his touch is just so amazing!
‘I Skyped again with my mom and told her what I wanted to do and she gave me some tips on how to make sure that I was doing it right...’
I am bright red, partially because I’m embarrassed and partially because I am trying not to laugh at him.
‘Did you ask your mom how you go down on a girl? I mean, seriously...’
‘Baby, she’s my best friend. She’s a cool mom. Don’t take me wrong, she would come down on me like a ton of bricks if I did something irresponsible or if I ever hurt you. But she knows I am not a stupid boy and she’s actually thrilled that I am in love. She also approves of us taking it a bit slow before we actually do it...’
‘I could never tell my mom what we are doing. She would kill me...’
He hugs me tighter.
‘Don’t worry about it for now, we’ll find a way. Trust me, Clary...’
‘I do...’
We would stay in bed all day long but Xander has to go to the town for some errands and I decide to see if my BFFs are up for some sun bathing on the beach.
I find Hazel and Brie about to leave our cabin and they seem so happy to see me and quite relieved.
‘Oh my gosh, Clary!’
Hazel hugs me tight.
‘What’s going on?’
‘You haven’t heard?’
I ask my friends to explain and they told me that Leah was attacked last night in the woods. Apparently she was out on her own and someone grabbed her from behind like they tried to do to me on bonfire night and she managed to get away but her dress was all shredded and she was bleeding and had scratches everywhere.
‘Oh my god! Is she ok? What is Miss Angie saying?’
‘Leah told her that she got hurt by taking a fall, she didn’t want to say what happened because she doesn’t want to go home...’
I feel really relieved about it too, because if my mom heard about it, I would be on the first flight back to LA. But it’s really troubling that someone grabbed her. Maybe Xander is right to want to walk me everywhere, especially when it’s dark.
‘Also, Clary, we found this pinned to the front door... Or at least Brie found it when she stumbled back in this morning.’
She hands me a folded piece of paper and my blood freezes instantly in my veins: I open it, my hands shaking and sure enough, there’s 4 photos of me printed on the sheet.
The top one is of me in the hot tub straddling Logan, the second one was taken the same night but I am walking with Joel: I am in his t-shirt and he has his arm wrapped around my shoulders and he’s shirtless. The third one is of me sitting on my dresser and I am kissing Austin who has his hand disappearing under my skirt and my bra is showing where he lowered my dress.
The last one is of me and Xander kissing on the dance floor.
I turn it and in the usual red crayon it reads: “Sluts will pay”.
I struggle to keep from bursting into tears: who hates me that much but especially who has been following me everywhere?
‘I... I need to show Xander and Logan. Maybe Joel. But Xander is going to town, let’s go to the beach and see if we can find the other boys and then I want to hear everything about your big night, Brie...’
She looks at me quietly and only then I realise how out of character that is: something must be totally wrong.
‘Let’s go to the beach, I’ll tell you there...’
We sit in our usual cabana and Hazel and I turn to Brie who seems very preoccupied with sunscreen this morning.
‘So, did you do it?’
I decide to cut to the chase, I am talking to Brie after all and she normally doesn’t tip toe around conversations.
But my BFF surprises me sighing and shaking her head.
‘No, I didn’t do it.’
I tell her that I am actually relieved that she saw sense and abandoned her plan to lose her virginity to Justin.
‘I haven’t abandoned my plan, Clary. I went to his room last night and...’
She tells us about finding Justin having a threesome with Lucy and Ella and about the cruel words Justin kicked her out of his room with.
‘That asshole! I am going to kick him in the balls right now!’
I say furious about how Justin treated my friend and about his behaviour all around; I tell Hazel and Brie about their stupid bet and how that was the reason why Xander was being so odd last night.
‘It’s disgusting, Brie! I say you dodged a bullet...’
Hazel tries to comfort her but Brie surprises us once again:
‘Why? Because he said the truth? I am a little girl and I need to change that. Then Justin will look at me in a different way.’
I can’t believe it! How can she be so stupid?
‘So what do you plan to do?’
‘I will go find someone to have sex with and once the deed is done, Justin will take me back. I might have already found just the guy...’
Hazel and I look at each other in disbelief: Brie has gone insane.
‘So, let me understand this: you find him cheating on you with two other girls, he talks to you like a complete heartless piece of shit and all you take away from that situation is that you need to go and throw your virginity away so that he will treat you like a woman and invite you into his bed?’
Brie nods, her eyes shining with a stubborn challenge in them.
‘Exactly! Some guys aren’t into the whole virgin thing and not everybody is as lucky as you Clary! Your boyfriends don’t care about anything, they kiss the floor where you walk. They even forgave you for cheating on them and are ok with you dating both of them, they are going to wait until you are ready... They want you to have orgasms... Justin isn’t into girls, he’s into women, so I have to show him that I am one, if I want a chance with him. And him being with two other girls isn’t that different from what you have going on with your boys...’
How do I make her see that it’s completely different? Yes, I might have not been completely forthcoming with the boys at the beginning but I wasn’t having threesomes while I had promised someone else to be exclusive...
I am about to tell her that but a look at her expression tells me that we would only fight because Brie has made up her mind once again. And I guess that if you looked at my behaviour a certain way, it might not look that irreproachable... I
guess Austin sees it more like Brie.
‘So, do you have anyone in mind?’
I ask her and she smiles for the first time this morning.
‘Yes. I spent the whole night in Brooklyn’s bed, I will have you know. I was crying last night and he offered me a shoulder to cry on... So we ended up going to his room and we kissed and just made out a little but I have to say, he’s absolutely hot. So, he might be the one to solve my little problem...’
‘Did you tell him about your plan? Or are you just going to sleep with him and then dump him?’
It’s Hazel asking this question, her eyes full of a barely repressed fury.
‘What does it matter? Guys freak out when they know a girl is a virgin! Look at Logan and Xander! They treat Clary as if she was made of crystal... If I tell him, he might lose interest. Like Justin did.’
I object to her version of the situation:
‘No, Brie. Justin didn’t lose interest in you because you have never had sex before, he did because you said you are saving yourself for marriage and he probably thought that you expect him to propose or something if he has sex with you. After all, he and Rob have that disgusting bet going on...’
Hazel agrees with me but Brie won’t be swayed and declares:
‘That’s just drunken talk. If they had that kind of bet going on, he would have kicked those two sluts out and would have spent the night with me...’
It’s a lost battle arguing a point with Brie. I need Xander’s advice on this because girl code would dictate that I don’t say anything to Brooklyn but he’s a very sweet boy and he’s Xander’s cousin, so I don’t want Brie to use him and then discard him. I would feel absolutely devastated if someone did that to me.
‘Hey, girls! How are you today?’
Joel approaches carrying a few cans of sodas.
‘I thought you’d like something refreshing? It’s getting hot again, I wouldn’t be surprised if we had another storm soon...’
We accept the drinks and he sits down with us, chatting about last night’s party and Leah.
‘She said she had no idea she was being followed until she heard a rustling noise from some bushes and then she was grabbed...’
Lake Emerald Chronicles: The First Summer: A Reverse Harem Romance Page 29