I keep looking at her to prolong this moment because once I touch her, I know I will be swept away by her beauty, my feelings for her and all the things that we left unsaid.
I close the distance between us but resist from taking her in my arms, I just reach out to stroke one of her cheeks.
‘I love you. Thank you for giving me a second chance...’
She touches my lips with hers as light as a butterfly’s wings, for just a second before saying:
‘I don’t believe in second chances. This is possible because we both have changed. We aren’t the same people we were yesterday or just one hour ago... You know how the same man can’t drink twice from the same river because...’
‘Because the river flows and so does time. The river just a second later isn’t the same river because new water has flown by and the man has also changed, he’s had new thoughts, he’s aged... Everything flows... Panta rei...’
I finish.
This is why I love her so much: her beauty is just one of her facets, she’s smart, brave, caring and she can quote Heraclitus making my brain crave her as much as my body does.
I touch my nose to hers, our lips now only one breath away from one another and I say:
‘So this kiss, is a new kiss...’
I touch my lips to hers, this time applying more pressure, giving her all the longing that I have for her, all the hope that there will be so many more kisses between us.
She surrounds my neck with her arms and opens her mouth for me with a sigh, as if she’d been waiting for this moment as much as I have.
When my tongue touches hers, I taste that sugar and honey flavour she always carries and it goes to my head, I just keep swiping at her tongue with mine, never having enough of her sweetness.
She hugs me tighter and I feel her chest against mine, I feel her heart beating fast against my own and I grab one of her hands and place it on my heart, to make her feel that she’s in there, she’s what makes me feel alive.
We kiss for a while, standing up in the middle of my bedroom, our bodies getting closer with each kiss and I start to ache for her but I don’t know what she’s willing to give, I never want to be presumptuous again, like on bonfire night.
She reaches under my t-shirt and her fingers start tracing the Dalì tattoo on my side, as if she had committed it to memory.
We take a couple of steps towards my bed and right before we crash onto it, she eases my t-shirt off, over my head.
I am hovering over her, our bodies not quite touching, her eyes taking me in, her hands exploring the ridges and valleys of my pecs and abs.
‘I love your tattoos, especially the melting clocks one. Your body is beautiful but that makes it even better to look at... I didn’t know I liked tattoos before I met you...’
Her lips start following her fingers all over the side of my chest and my ribs: they are soft, silky and her kisses are only very slightly wet, giving me goosebumps and causing my hands to grip her hips to anchor myself and slow down the wave of feelings invading my body, I need to take it slowly or I will scare her. I can’t rip her dress off her body like I’m itching to do.
No one has ever made me feel so excited and so wild but I know it’s too soon, my princess deserves that we take our time and I know the reward will be greater.
But for as much as I want to rein myself in, her kisses and her touch are like a fire that burns deep into me and when our lips finally meet again, one of my hands goes to her side and starts playing with the little string of material that ties her wrap dress.
I tease the material without daring to undo it, I really don’t want her to get like the last time we were on a bed together.
But my Clary is full of surprises because she pulls one of the ends of the little bow she tied the material into and undoes that knot for me.
I need to touch her skin, if I wait any longer, I feel like I’m going to die so I part the two halves of her dress with my hand and when I feel her soft skin underneath, it’s as if I can breathe again.
She undoes my buckle and eases my jeans off my hips and legs and I help her out of her dress, revealing white lacey underwear.
I look at her and it’s almost too much, so I do the only thing that makes sense and run my hands up and down her beautiful body, listening to her breathing becoming faster.
Her fingers start teasing the waistband of my boxers and I stop caressing her for a moment, looking at her intently: she looks excited but not nervous like the last time we were together.
‘Will you help me take off my bra, Austin?’
She asks and that is all the encouragement I need to undo the clasp at the front of her bra and I am rewarded with the most beautiful boobs I have ever seen in my entire life: they are full, round and her excitement is obvious because her nipples are rock hard.
Before I even reach to touch them, I want to feel them against my skin, so I lower myself onto her and kiss her lips while our chests come into contact.
For a moment I think that this will be enough to do me in but I know better than that and I cup one of her breasts feeling their firmness and enjoying how soft they feel at the same time.
‘Can I kiss them?’
I breathe against her mouth and she moans a beautiful, breathy yes that makes it almost impossible to leave her lips.
I tease the velvety skin of her nipple with my lips and teeth and she hardens even further in my mouth and now it’s my turn to moan, desperate for more as I suck on her skin until one of her legs wraps around my waist and her hand start tugging my underwear down.
Of course she couldn’t have missed how hard I am for her and once my underwear joins our other clothes on the floor, she starts tugging down her own, lifting and arching her body and increasing the friction against me.
I place both my hands on her hips to keep her still: I need to keep my cool, if she moves against me one more time, I know I will lose it and I really need to know what she wants.
I look at her eyes, bright and deep, shining with the same desire that I am sure she sees in mine and then my eyes trail down to look at her and I notice she has smooth skin all over and that’s another challenge for my self control, to see her so bare in front of me.
‘Princess, I love you...’
‘I love you too, Austin...’
She says one of her hands stroking the side of my outer thigh.
‘Clary, I... I don’t have a condom...’
It’s the truth, I gave them all to Brooklyn.
She skims her hand up and down my back before saying:
‘We don’t need one...’
I hold my breath for a second, unsure of what she means.
‘We don’t need one because I am on the pill but also because I am not ready to do what we’d need a condom for... Or at least, my body is screaming at me that I am full of shit and I am ready but we went from kissing with all our clothes on to this and I think we should go slower...’
I take a very deep breath, I didn’t think she would even let me go this far tonight, I felt lucky that she let me kiss her, so now, I have to find a way to calm down and be the gentleman I know I am and she deserves.
I move to the side: if I stay on top of her one second longer, I don’t really know what will happen.
What happens is that the takes my length in her smooth hand and tugs me down and then lets her hand travel all the way back up.
That almost finishes me off by itself: I have never been so excited, worked up, confused and scared to do the wrong thing in my entire life.
‘What do you want, princess? Tell me and it’s yours.’
I whisper against her ear, my hand following the curve of her body from shoulder to hip.
‘I want to give you pleasure and make you happy...’
I encourage her to tell me what she wants.
‘And what do you want for yourself? How do you want me to take care of you?’
She blushes, embarrassed by my question but I want her to say what she wants m
e to do.
‘I... I don’t know. Maybe, touch me?’
Her hand is still wrapped around me and even lying sideways our crotches are so close that it would take just the tiniest of pushes... But I know she doesn’t want that, so I sit up and take her with me, settling her between my legs, her back, to my chest, her head on my shoulder, her long hair down my own back.
‘Do you want me to touch you?’
‘Yes...’
She whimpers.
‘Show me how...’
I egg her on and she tilts her head to look into my eyes, confused.
‘What... What do you mean?’
‘When we weren’t talking, when you missed me and you thought about me and you wanted me to touch you... Show me what you did...’
She gasps.
‘I... I didn’t...’
My voice lowers.
‘You didn’t miss me?’
‘No. I missed you so much but I didn’t touch... I have never...’
Now it’s my turn to gasp.
I take her hand and guide her towards her centre.
‘Then I will show you how I want to touch you so that when we go back home and we can’t see each other every day, when you miss me, you can do what I am going to do to you now...’
My finger finds her sweet spot and I guide her finger on it too, moving both our hands together, stroking her wet, throbbing nub.
‘I...’
She pants.
‘I want to see what you do when you miss me, too...’
She takes my other hand and makes me wrap it around my hardness and covers it with hers.
I stroke myself and I stroke her and and we both touch each other, our hands together, learning what feels good.
I feel her breathing faster against my chest, her head rolls back on my shoulder and she sighs her pleasure with a breathy moan, making both our fingers on her skin soaking wet.
‘Princess, that was beautiful, so beautiful... I don’t think I am going to last long...’
I groan and my Clary never fails to surprise me because she moves my hand away from my own length and moves between my legs, lowering her head and taking me into her mouth.
It takes only one lick of her silky tongue to make me throb and scream my ecstasy, filling her mouth with my warm release.
She licks her lips clean and then nestles into my arms with a contented sigh.
‘Salted caramel...’
‘Uh, What?’
I ask, confused and still unable to think straight after what we just did.
‘You taste like salted caramel...’
***
Clary
I fall asleep in Austin’s arms and sleep like I have never before: my body is happy and my heart is jubilant that the third part of my heart is fixed, that he loves me and wants me like I do him.
As I told Joel, each of my boys gets me completely and yet in totally different ways.
Austin has a depth that I never thought I would find in someone else and that I have always tried to hide in myself because people don’t understand and make fun of my introspection, of my yearning for more than just tv and social media. He has my same thirst of knowledge and he appreciates my reveries and he shares his own thoughts.
I admit that Xander has some of that too, only in his case it lurks under the surface: while Xander looks more outgoing compared to Austin, in reality he’s more guarded and opens up the incredible depths of his beautiful soul a lot slower than his cousin.
Logan is my big, sweet teddy bear but I see that same search in him, that same thirst for something that goes beyond our little privileged lives.
Austin stirs in his sleep and opens one of his jade green eyes to close it again straight away.
‘Hmm...’
He moans holding me a bit tighter against him.
‘Good morning...’
I whisper against his chest, kissing the melted clock tattooed just above his left pectoral, feeling his muscle twitch slightly under my lips.
He opens both his eyes now and a smile lights up his gorgeous features.
‘I didn’t want to wake up in case last night had been just a dream... I know it sounds very cliché but I think you fried my brain with how excited you made me and now this is what you get: your boyfriend is only good to give you pleasure between the sheets, maybe do you hair and make up but that’s it, all my other brain cells are gone...’
I laugh at him.
‘You are so dramatic! I mean, I’m a silly inexperienced girl but you are 20, you must have had better...’
He bites my earlobe making me squeal.
‘Clary, you have no fucking idea, princess. Have I had sex with a few girls? Sure. Were they all very pretty? Absolutely...’
I slap him on a shoulder and pout.
‘Hey, ok, I get the gist of it, no need to gloat...’
He laughs.
‘Let me finish... I was going to say that none of them made me feel what you did last night. First of all because I was in love once but it’s nothing like what I feel for you. And also because you are a little vixen. You aren’t slutty, don’t take it like that, princess but you just... If this is how I felt without going all the way, I am afraid that once we do, I will buy us a house and we’ll spend every minute in bed because right now the only thought of not touching you and kissing you for any length of time exceeding 10 seconds is unbearable...’
And he pounces on me, peppering kisses all over my neck and shoulders while I wrap my legs around his waist laughing at the ticklish feeling his light stubble causes where it comes into contact with my skin.
‘Look, Austin, I don’t want to have a fight but since I have been all evening and all night with you, I would like to go look for Xander and Logan...’
He tries hard to look neutral about it and nods at me, suggesting to call them with his walkie talkie so we’ll know where they are at.
‘Maybe we can all have breakfast together?’
He suggests.
We talk to Xander and we agree to meet at the restaurant in 20 minutes.
Austin tries to coax me into the shower with him but I resist the tempting offer or I know we will never leave this room before noon.
When we arrive at the restaurant, Logan and Xander are already there and I let go of Austin’s hand to go and hug my other 2 boyfriends.
‘I missed you...’
I say into Logan’s arms and then I turn to hug Xander and he kisses my temple and whispers in my ear:
‘As soon as I get rid of my cousin I need a kiss. But I don’t want to do it in front of him.’
And then out loud:
‘How was your night?’
Austin and I look at each other and smile.
‘Very good, thanks. We slept really well.’
We see Brooklyn and Brie arriving and my friends sit next to us, Brie staring at another table where Justin is sitting with Lucy, Ella, Matt, Rob and Hayley.
Hayley keeps looking at Austin and me, her blue eyes intense and she whispers something in Justin’s ear.
When she sees Hayley talking to her beau, Brie reacts climbing on Brooklyn’s lap and starting to kiss him or I would be more exact if I said sucking face.
I am obviously not one to talk but I try to keep PDAs family friendly, I think certain things should be done in private.
When we finish eating breakfast, we make plans for the rest of the day: Austin has to inventory art supplies, Xander has a tennis lesson, Logan is playing basketball and I really want to go to the beach so I tag along with Brie and Brooklyn and my boys all promise to have lunch with me at the beach.
As we walk to our cabin to change and grab our beach bags, I spot Brooklyn’s serious expression and quiet demeanour.
‘So, Brie, how is it going with Brooklyn?’
She puts her raven black hair in a high ponytail and sighs.
‘To be honest with you, I really like him. He’s handsome and so kind. I don’t know if I should just date him...’
I smile: hopefully this foolishness of chasing Justin is coming to an end.
‘He’s much better looking than Justin...’
I say. Big mistake, because Brie narrows her eyes and snaps at me.
‘No, he’s not! And Justin is a better kisser...’
I try to train my face onto a neutral look: what can I do? I find Justin absolutely repulsive but if I say that to my friend, she’ll get really offended.
‘Ok, but at least Brooklyn won’t cheat on you...’
Brie nods.
‘Yes, he’s got such a gentle and sweet personality... He’s a bit boring compared to Justin...’
She’s totally hopeless and I decide to disengage from this conversation because she won’t hear anything against Justin and I know that if I push her, she’ll go back to him just to assert that she won’t be told what to do.
‘Well, Brooklyn is waiting for us outside, let’s go...’
I grab my bag and we walk down to the beach in a comfortable silence. Brooklyn shoots me a few looks every now and then and I wonder how much he knows about me dating both his brother and his cousin and also his roommate.
When we get to our usual cabana, Brie asks Brooklyn to put sunscreen on her and that surely turns into kisses so I decide to search for my latest book in my beach bag: I’m reading 11 minutes by Paolo Coelho and I am really enjoying it, I definitely want to pass it on to Xander when I am done.
I feel the spine of the book and fish it out and when I open where my bookmark is, a folded piece of paper slips out.
I open it with shaking hands and sure enough it’s what I think it is but this time it looks more disturbing if possible: it’s a photo of 5 people, 4 men and a woman having an orgy. But the heads have been cut off and mine and my boyfriends heads plus Joel have been glued on.
It’s not photoshopped or anything, the heads are too big for the bodies but something in the way the figurines have been cut out, roughly as if the person was really furious, makes me swallow hard, trying to keep frightened tears from making their appearance.
I turn the sheet and the usual red crayon says:
Lake Emerald Chronicles: The First Summer: A Reverse Harem Romance Page 33