Season of Joy

by Annie Rains

  Without sending a reply text, Joy shoved her phone back inside her purse and carried her lunch tray to where her mother was sitting at one of the tables. “Hi, Mom.”

  “Joy!” Her mom looked happy to see her, which took Joy by surprise. “I’ve missed you.”

  “Well, you’ve been kind of busy lately,” Joy pointed out.

  “Yes, I have. I’m training a new physician right now though. Hopefully, she’ll be able to cover some of these emergencies that I get called in for. That should free up a lot of my time.”

  “That would be nice.”

  Her mom smiled happily. “It would, wouldn’t it? So fill me in on what I’ve missed in your life lately. I hear you’re dating Granger Fields.”

  Joy took a sip of her soda. “We’ve been out a few times. That’s different than dating exclusively.” Maybe Joy should have given herself more time before jumping back into the dating pool. Relationships always ended badly, and her heart wasn’t ready for another blow.

  Joy’s mom reached across the table. “I know Dan broke your heart last year. He’s one guy though. Don’t let your experience with him taint this new thing you have with Granger.”

  Joy’s mouth dropped. “I thought you were on Dan’s side when we broke up.”

  Her mom pulled her hand away and shook her head. “No, of course not. He’s a colleague but you’re my daughter. I’ll always be on your side. I just want you to be happy.”

  Right now, there was a deep ache in Joy’s chest making it really hard to feel happy. “I want the same for you too, Mom.”

  Joy met her mom’s gaze, recognizing something sad there. If she didn’t know better, she’d say her mom felt a deep ache in her own chest. “Mom? You okay?”

  “Me? Oh yeah. Your father and I just feel like two ships passing in the night lately.” Her mom looked down at her drink for a moment and then back up to Joy. “We just need to make more time for each other. And I guess I need to work on my own happiness.”

  Joy tilted her head. “You work too much already. And being happy isn’t supposed to be work.”

  “Maybe your father and I should take up art.”

  Joy laughed. “You could join Aunt Darby and Ray at the community center and take a class with me.”

  Her mom nodded. “I think that sounds like a wonderful idea. Maybe I’ll sign us up.”

  * * *

  After working all day, Granger left his house early enough to make a trip to the Little Shop of Flowers on the way to pick up Joy for their evening out. For some reason, she hadn’t responded to his texts today, which left him unnerved. Joy was reliable though. She would have canceled if she wasn’t feeling well or if something was wrong. She’d probably just gotten caught up in painting one of her masterpieces.

  Granger parked his truck and nearly sprinted into the flower shop, the scent overwhelming him as soon as he stepped inside. He breathed it in as he headed toward the counter.

  The shop’s owner, Halona Locklear, looked up and smiled brightly. It was good to see her so happy these days. She’d fallen in love with Alex Baker this time last year, and now they were planning a wedding. Maybe that would be Granger and Joy next year.

  Slow down, cowboy.

  “Hi, Granger. Fancy seeing you here,” Halona said. “I’m guessing you want flowers for the lucky lady in your life.”

  “That I do.”

  Halona hesitated. “We’re talking about Joy, right?”

  The question took Granger by surprise. “Of course.”

  She shrugged, softening back into an easy smile. “I saw that Erin was back in town so I wasn’t sure. I know I’ve heard rumors about you and Joy though. And I think that’s great. Joy is so sweet. She comes in here all the time, you know?”

  Granger shook his head. “No, I didn’t know.”

  “She gets flowers for her aunt. Sometimes she gets a couple extra bouquets for the other women at Sugar Pines Community Center too. She’s such a thoughtful person.”

  “I did know that part,” Granger said. Joy was thoughtful and caring—just as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside.

  “What are these flowers supposed to say?” Halona asked, reaching for her florist shears. “Not that they talk, of course. But different flowers say different things. Yellow roses say you’re good friends, and red roses say…” She trailed off.

  Granger knew exactly what red roses said. “I’ll take a dozen red,” he said without hesitation.

  Halona’s lips formed a little circle. “Oh. Does she know?”

  “Not yet. But I plan to tell her tonight.”

  “Oh my goodness. Well, this is wonderful news. And my lips are sealed. Florists’ confidentiality.”

  “Is that a thing?” Granger leaned against the counter as they talked.

  “Totally. You wouldn’t believe some of the things I’ve heard standing behind this counter. None of them I repeat because they’re shared in confidence.” She lifted a brow. “But I’m hoping that Joy stops in next week to give me the second part to this story. I want to know how she reacts to her roses.”

  Granger hoped Joy would react by reciprocating how he felt. She’d been unusually quiet since last night though. He’d thought maybe she’d fallen asleep by the time he’d texted her. But she would’ve contacted him this morning to respond. Something about that wasn’t sitting right.

  “Give me ten minutes,” Halona said, turning to her flower cooler. Granger watched as she set about making a beautiful bouquet. When she was done, he paid, and she wished him luck. He didn’t really feel like he needed it. He was already the luckiest guy he knew. At least in Sweetwater Springs.

  Half an hour later, he pulled into Joy’s driveway. It was six p.m., and the auction would begin soon. He grabbed the bouquet of flowers from the passenger seat and sucked in a deep breath. Then he got out, climbed the steps, and rang the doorbell.

  There was a flutter of noise inside before Joy opened the door and looked at him. His smile faltered slightly as he took in her sweatpants and oversize T-shirt. Her hair was a bit of a mess, and unless he was mistaken, she looked like she’d been crying.

  Joy folded her arms over her chest, her eyes narrowing. She usually greeted him with a smile and lately a kiss. But not today. “Oh, I forgot to cancel our date,” she said, her tone of voice just as chilly as her stance.

  Granger cocked his head. “Is everything okay?” Maybe she was sick. Or she’d gotten into a fight with her mom. Was that why she hadn’t replied to his texts all day?

  “No.” Joy’s eyes suddenly glistened. “Nothing is okay right now.”

  “Maybe these will make things better.” Granger held out the bouquet of roses but she stepped back. “Joy, you’re worrying me.” He set the bouquet on the ground beside him and reached for her. She took another step back, letting his arm fall back to his side. “What’s wrong?”

  Her chin trembled as she gritted her jaw. “Oh, you know, I caught the guy I like kissing his ex-wife.”

  Every muscle in Granger’s body tensed. “What are you talking about?”

  Joy narrowed her eyes. She looked as angry as she did sad. “Please don’t lie to me, Granger. I deserve better than that.”

  “I haven’t lied to you. Ever.” A wave of panic crashed over him. He’d come over here with flowers, hoping to tell Joy how much she meant to him, and now, suddenly, they were at odds.

  “Not telling me that you kissed Erin is basically lying. You just didn’t think I’d find out. But I saw you and Erin kissing under the mistletoe last night, Granger. I saw you, so please don’t deny it.”

  Granger held up his hands. “You have this all wrong. It wasn’t the way you’re thinking.”

  Joy put her hands on her hips, her chin lifting slightly. “I’m thinking she kissed you.”

  “Yeah. She kissed me.” Granger was relieved that Joy understood that, but if she did, why did she still look so broken? “I didn’t kiss her. I didn’t even want her to kiss me.”

 
“But you didn’t push her away. I was watching. You didn’t even look too unhappy about it from where I was standing.”

  Granger opened his mouth to speak but no words came out for a long time. He never wanted to be called a liar. He wanted to be completely honest. “For years, I spent every night wishing that Erin would come home. But she never did. She kissed me, and maybe I let her. Maybe I needed to see if there was anything there. There wasn’t. For either of us. Nothing at all.”

  Tears brimmed in Joy’s eyes as she looked at him.

  “You’re the one I want. The only one, Joy.”

  “You didn’t even tell me that you kissed.”

  “I didn’t have a chance. We haven’t even spoken since last night.”

  Joy narrowed her eyes. Then her gaze dropped to the bouquet of roses in his hand. “So you were bringing me flowers and planning to tell me you kissed your ex last night.”

  Granger hesitated. No, he’d been planning to tell Joy he loved her tonight. But that didn’t seem appropriate at the moment.

  Joy shook her head. “You weren’t going to tell me. How can I trust you after that, Granger? I’m not sure I can.”

  Granger felt like he was suddenly on trial—and he was. “I’m not sure if I was going to tell you. The kiss didn’t mean anything. Nothing at all. And I would never want to willingly break your heart. That’s the last thing I would ever want.”

  “And yet…” Joy’s chin trembled again, and he knew she was trying not to cry.

  “I have not broken your trust, Joy,” he said gently. “If you can’t trust me, it’s because you’ve never trusted me. I think some part of you has been waiting for me to let you down.”

  Joy’s lips parted. “You’re going to turn this around on me?”

  “No. But I’m not the guy you’re making me out to be. I’m not the bad guy.”

  “Well, you’re not the good guy right now either.”

  Granger felt his defenses rise. Here he was with flowers, wanting nothing more than to love Joy, and she was grouping him with all the other people in her life who’d hurt her. Well, he’d been hurt too. “I have spent the last few years wondering what I did to make Erin leave. What I didn’t do to bring her back home. And what I’ve finally realized is that it wasn’t me. It was never me, and I’m not going to play that blame game again.”

  He stepped toward Joy, noticing how her body stiffened. She didn’t step back though. Not this time. “I didn’t do anything wrong here. The only thing I have done is fall in love with you.”

  Joy gasped softly.

  “I love you, Joy. And you know what? I think that’s the real issue here. I think you’re scared to trust your heart to someone again. I think you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop, and you’re ready to believe that’s happening now to save yourself the future pain that might cause.”

  Joy stared at him, eyes misty. A tear rolled off her lashes, clinging to her cheek. He wanted to pull her in but he was pretty sure she wouldn’t let him right now.

  “Maybe that’s true. But things were never going to last between us anyway.”

  “What are you talking about?” Granger asked. Anger was rising inside of him, warring with the sudden ache in his heart.

  “I just…I’m not ready for any of this. All I ever wanted was a casual relationship. I didn’t want the heartbreak. I honestly can’t take another Christmas like last year’s.”

  “Nothing about what’s going on between us is like what you experienced last year. I meant what I said. I’ve fallen in love with you. I want a relationship with you. There doesn’t have to be any heartbreak this time.”

  Tears slipped down her cheeks as she listened. She hugged her arms around herself. He just wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her. “There already is, Granger. I cried myself to sleep last night because of you and Erin. My heart hurts so much right now I can hardly breathe.” More tears slipped off her eyelashes, making a slow descent down her ruddy cheeks.

  She seemed to shiver as she stood there, watching him. Then she shook her head and stepped back. “I can’t do this. I just…can’t. I need you to go.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Joy had woken feeling hungover this morning, even though she hadn’t had anything more than apple juice before bed. She’d tossed and turned all night and had barely slept a solid hour. Whoever said breaking up was hard to do wasn’t kidding. And she didn’t plan to let herself go through it ever again.

  She’d said that after Dan though. Apparently, her heart had a mind of its own and disregarded any common sense her mind offered up.

  She steered her little car down the street and pulled into the public parking space near the Sweetwater Café. She grabbed her laptop because she was applying for the hospital receptionist job this morning. She’d promised herself that she’d open her art gallery this year, and she hadn’t. Maybe it was time to get what her parents would call a “real job.” It didn’t mean she was giving up on her art.

  Joy locked up her car and headed down the sidewalk. Maybe fancy coffee would make applying for the position go down better. Perhaps it would take away her heartache over breaking up with Granger too. Joy pushed through the front entrance, immediately accosted by the scent of gingerbread and coffee. She breathed it in as her stomach rumbled.

  Emma looked up from the counter and smiled brightly. “A tall regular coffee with our seasonal peppermint creamer coming right up!”

  “Sounds amazing. Can I add a blueberry muffin?”

  “You got it!”

  “Thanks.” Joy paid at the counter and then looked for a seat while she waited for her food.

  A moment later, Emma slid a cup of coffee and a muffin in front of Joy. “Is it okay if I join you for a moment?” she asked. “Dina offered to watch the counter for me.”

  Joy reached for her cup of coffee. “Of course it’s okay,” she said, even though she wasn’t in the mood for socializing. She guessed that’s what she got for coming to a public place.

  “Are you done with your Christmas shopping?” Emma asked. She had her own cup of coffee in front of her and seemed oblivious to the fact that Joy had spent a sleepless night. Maybe Joy didn’t look as bad as she felt.

  “I make all my presents. I’m almost done.” She just needed to finish a painting she’d started for Willow, but other than that, her Christmas list was complete. She might not even see the little girls before the holidays anyway.

  “I love homemade presents,” Emma said on a sigh. “They’re the best. I tend to give café gift cards and specialty coffee grinds as gifts. But that won’t work for Jack. I haven’t figured out what to give him just yet.”

  Joy looked over her drink as she tipped it back for another sip. “Christmas is only three days away; you better figure it out soon.”

  “I know. He’s a hard one to buy for though,” Emma went on. “He’s a man of nature. He likes things you can’t buy in the store.”

  “Maybe wrap yourself up and give it to him,” Joy said, only halfway teasing. She waggled her brows playfully, and Emma offered a mischievous grin.

  “That’s not a bad idea.” Then her gaze dropped to Joy’s laptop. “What are you working on this morning?”

  Joy sighed. “I’m applying for a receptionist job at the hospital, actually.”

  Emma’s brows scrunched. “Really? Just because the store you wanted was leased to someone else?”

  “That’s not the only reason but it didn’t help matters. At the start of this year, I promised myself that I’d find a way to open my own art gallery. It felt like the next step in my career. But that hasn’t happened and…I don’t know. Maybe it’s a sign that I need to do something safer. More practical. I can still sell my artwork on the side.” Just like her mom had always told her she could.

  Emma tsked. “This café wouldn’t be Sweetwater’s favorite if I’d allowed myself to be safe and practical. Instead, I’d be working as a store clerk or in a school somewhere. Not that there’s anything wrong w
ith that, if it’s what I truly wanted to do. But my passion is coffee. I love serving others, and I love being my own boss. Starting up a café wasn’t a safe decision but I’ll never regret it.”

  Joy turned to watch the passersby outside for a moment, their arms full of shopping bags. “The difference is things fell into place when you decided to open your café. The opposite has happened for me. The stars aren’t aligning perfectly. I just want life to be simpler.” Joy blew out a breath. “For my career and my love life.”

  Emma laughed and reached for her drink. “Don’t we all?”

  Joy found this curious. “You and Jack aren’t simple?”

  Emma shrugged. “Not really. But he’s worth any challenges that come along. So what’s going on with you and Granger?”

  Joy laughed but there wasn’t any humor in it. “I guess you could say it’s complicated. We broke up.”

  “What? No,” Emma said with a growing frown. “And right before Christmas too. Are you all right?”

  “Not really,” Joy said honestly, surprising herself.

  “Well, I know you have your parents but if you need a place to spend the holiday, you can come over to my dad and stepmom’s place. Jack and I will be there. His mom and sister are coming too. It’s the more the merrier at the St. James house.”

  Joy smiled, grateful for the invitation even if she didn’t plan to take Emma up on it. “Thanks. I’ll probably go visit my aunt Darby but I might stop by.”

  Darby was happy and in love these days though, which Joy was grateful for. She had a lot of things to be thankful for this season, and she was doing her best to convince herself that the application on her laptop screen was one of them.

  “Well, I better get back to the counter with Dina. I just wanted to catch up.” Emma scooted back from the table and grabbed her coffee. “I mean it. Come by my dad’s place if you’re free on Christmas. We’d love to have you.”

  Joy nodded. “Thanks.”

  Joy guessed Emma knew she wouldn’t come because she added, “Or stop in next week, and we’ll have coffee and chat again.”