Season of Joy

by Annie Rains

  But on the contrary, Abby was doing everything she could to win her mom’s attention.

  “You would’ve been a good mom for us,” Willow said, throwing her arms around Joy for a big hug. There went that snot all over Joy’s clothes. “You are the best babysitter in the whole world. And the best art teacher. In my letter, I also told Santa that I wanted you to stay forever.”

  Granger must not have gotten ahold of that letter yet.

  Joy hugged Willow back. “Santa can’t bring everything, you know.”

  Willow pulled back and lifted a brow. “Yes, he can.”

  “Well, his sleigh is only so big, sweetheart.”

  “But it’s a magic sleigh,” Willow countered. “It can fit everything on everyone’s list for the whole entire world.”

  Joy looked down into Willow’s hopeful eyes. Willow was too young to see how illogical that was, and perhaps that was a good way to be. To believe in your dream instead of what you deemed to be reality. Joy’s own dream was starting to crumble in the real world’s hands. Her gallery on Main Street was leased, and another place might not become available until this time next year. “Maybe you’re right.”

  “I am,” Willow said. She pulled her arms back and looked down at her lap. “But Santa might be very disappointed in me this year. Maybe he won’t bring me the rest of what I want for Christmas.”

  “Why is that, sweetheart?”

  “Because I haven’t treated my mom very nicely.” Willow looked up. “I haven’t been mean to her or anything.”

  “Of course not. You’re not a mean girl.”

  “But I haven’t given her lots of hugs and stuff like Abby has.”

  “That’s okay,” Joy said. “It might take a little time. She knows you’re happy to see her.”

  “Because adults know everything?” Willow asked.

  Joy laughed and wrapped her arm around Willow’s shoulders and squeezed once more. This was one misconception that Joy could debunk. “Hardly. We know a lot but there’s a lot that we don’t know. But you have so many grown-ups in your life. You can always talk to one of us about anything on your mind, and we’ll do our best to help you, okay?”

  Willow nodded solemnly.

  “Don’t worry about Santa. You, of all kids, are on his good list. You want to go inside and have some hot cocoa?”

  Willow hopped off the swing in response. Then she grabbed Joy’s hand and started to pull her up. “With marshmallows?”

  “Of course.”

  They headed through the front door instead of the back door for once, stepping directly into the living room. Willow ran off into another room as Joy closed the door behind her. Then Joy inspected the messy living room with blankets and clothing tossed about. As she looked closer, she noticed an adult woman’s cardigan. A scarf. There were some earrings lying on the coffee table. These were Erin’s things.

  Abby came into the room. “Willow says we’re going to make hot chocolate?”

  Joy greeted the older girl with a wobbly smile, her mind still processing the items. “Yes, that’s right. I have time before I go home. I’m supposed to meet your dad before I leave. Is he here yet?”

  Abby shook her head. “My mom went to meet him too. He’s probably with her.”

  “Your mom?” Joy repeated.

  Abby nodded. “Those are her things on the floor. She slept over last night.”

  “Did she?” Joy asked, taking a closer look. The clothing was on the couch. Hopefully that’s where Erin had stayed, far away from Granger. Joy was tempted to jump to conclusions, but she forced herself to give him the benefit of the doubt. Even if doubt was always her knee-jerk reaction. Granger was a good man. And he was hers, not Erin’s.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Granger walked fast, shining his cell phone’s flashlight at the ground to make sure he didn’t fall on his face in the dark. He was running late to meet Joy for their romantic hayride. He’d been looking forward to it all night. Hopefully, she hadn’t given up on him and gone home already.

  “Granger?”

  He froze and looked around, seeing the shadow of a woman coming toward him. “Joy?”

  “No…It’s Erin,” his ex said as she stepped into the beam of his flashlight.

  He should’ve known it wasn’t Joy. Their voices weren’t similar but Joy made the most sense right now. “Erin, what are you doing out here? It’s freezing, and you don’t have a flashlight.” Or a proper coat, for that matter.

  She continued to walk in his direction, stopping when she was just a couple of feet away. “I came out here to find you.”

  “Is everything okay with the girls?” he asked, panic flaring.

  “Yeah, they’re fine. Your mom is with them right now.”

  “Of course she is. I don’t know what I would’ve done all these years without her help.” He didn’t mean it as a guilt trip but he knew Erin took it personally as soon as the words came out. He wouldn’t have needed his mom to help so much if she had been here.

  “Well, I plan to help a lot more,” she said. “She’ll get a much-needed break.”

  Time would tell if that was true. “So then why did you want to come see me?”

  Erin looked up at him. She stepped even closer, standing only a foot away now. “I’ve been thinking a lot since I’ve gotten back. I know I should have called you.”

  “You’ve already apologized for that.”

  She held up a hand. “Yes, but it’s worth repeating. I came back because I realized that it’s never too late to be the mom I wanted to be. I wanted to be the fun mom, the energetic and understanding and cool mom. I wanted to be the mom who taught my girls to be confident.”

  “There’s still time,” Granger said.

  Erin nodded. “I know. Although, I think you’ve done an amazing job helping them grow.”

  Granger swallowed. “That means a lot to hear you say that.”

  Erin looked hesitant. “When you and I got married, I also had an idea of the kind of wife I wanted to be. I wanted to be the supportive wife. The kind of wife who made you want to come home at night.”

  Unlike her own mother, Granger knew. Erin’s father hadn’t wanted to go home, because her mother was verbally and emotionally abusive.

  “I wanted to be a woman you felt lucky to have in your life.”

  “Erin…” Granger shook his head. “We don’t really need to get into this.”

  “I just wonder…” She blew out a breath. “I’ve been wondering…”

  Granger watched as she struggled to find the right words. Then she reached into her pocket and pulled out a sprig of mistletoe.

  “I found this on the kitchen counter.”

  It was the sprig he’d been carrying around for Joy. It’d given him a little extra help in dating her, and he couldn’t bring himself to discard it. He reached for it but Erin didn’t let go. Instead, their hands came together, connected by the sprig.

  He was about to ask what she was doing, but somewhere inside, he knew. His thoughts were struggling to keep up as she pulled the sprig from his grasp and lifted it above his head, went up on her toes, and pressed her lips to his. Her body pushed against him in the movement, and he had no choice but to brace his hands around her waist to keep her from knocking him over.

  He stood frozen as she kissed him. Before he could even process or figure out the answer, Erin pulled away and returned to flat feet and pulled the sprig of mistletoe back down to her midsection.

  “What was that?” he asked.

  She shrugged and looked down at her hands shyly for a moment before returning to meet his gaze. “I guess I just wanted to make sure it was truly over between us. That there weren’t any sparks left to fan. Or any reason to fight for what we had.”

  He remained silent.

  “And there doesn’t seem to be.” Her smile fluttered on her mouth, like a butterfly trying to land but unable to find its footing. “You’re in love with Joy now.”

  Granger didn’t hesitate. T
he answer was immediate in his mind. Yes. He was so in love with Joy. She was the only one he ever wanted to kiss in the moonlight, under the stars, or under the mistletoe.

  Erin nodded. “She’s a lucky woman to have you. I hope she knows that.” Erin’s eyes turned glassy.

  “It’s going to be okay.” Granger reached for her hand. “The girls want you here. And so do I. Maybe not romantically, but we can still be a good parenting team. We’ll make this work, Erin. I’m not going to turn my back on you.”

  She sniffled quietly. “You’ve never turned your back on me. I’m a lucky woman to have you in that regard. And I know it.” She handed the mistletoe back to him. “I won’t try that again—I promise.” She tilted her head and gave him a full smile now. “And just so you know, there were no sparks for me either.”

  He chuckled. It had been seven long years, and they’d both changed so much. She wasn’t a stranger to him like he’d thought this morning. He remembered her, and she was still the woman he’d once fallen in love with—even if he wasn’t in love with her anymore. “That’s good to know.”

  “In fact, it was a lot like kissing a dead fish.”

  Now he gave a full belly laugh that rivaled the one Jack had been putting out in his role as Santa here on the trail. “Is that so?”

  “It is,” Erin said, teasing him and punching him softly in the stomach. Something loosened in his chest in that moment. Everything was going to be okay between them. Erin had her humor back, and she wasn’t going to be rejected by him and run away. She was here to stay for the girls, not him. And he was free to follow his heart wherever that led. “Maybe we can just stick to hugging from now on,” she said.

  Granger nodded. Then he opened his arms and pulled her in. It felt like a hello as much as a goodbye. It felt like a new beginning for both of them.

  * * *

  Joy was having a hard time breathing as she stood frozen in the woods, watching Granger with his arms around Erin. A moment earlier, she’d seen them kiss. She’d seen it with her own eyes. And while it hadn’t looked like the most romantic of kisses, their lips had touched, and now their arms were encircling each other.

  Joy wasn’t about to walk in on this happy moment. If she did, she might combust into tears. Or fits of anger. She might find herself in the local jail for Christmas if she came out of the shadows right now.

  Instead she turned and hurried back along the path to Granger’s house. Her breaths were shallow as she walked. She could feel the sobs collecting at the base of her throat. And the feeling felt familiar. It was only last year when she’d accidentally happened on Dan and Nurse Nancy kissing in his office at the hospital. Joy had been having cramps. Something hadn’t been right. Worry had niggled in her stomach along with a foreboding feeling that something bad was about to happen.

  She wasn’t even sure if she’d knocked before stepping into his office. She’d needed to see him. He was a doctor. He would know what to do. He could settle her mind and reassure her that her pregnancy was normal. There was no reason to be upset. But instead of finding comfort, Joy had walked in on Dan and Nancy in a heated embrace.

  Just like tonight with Granger and Erin.

  Joy reached her car and unlocked it with a trembling hand. The girls were already tucked into bed inside. Mrs. Fields was with them. All Joy needed to do was go home.

  The kiss Joy had just witnessed between Granger and Erin wasn’t exactly the same as the one she’d seen last year between Dan and Nancy. Tonight’s hadn’t looked as passionate. Maybe the kiss hadn’t meant anything. Maybe Erin had kissed him. Joy wanted to trust that Granger would never cheat on her but that meant distrusting what she’d seen with her own eyes.

  Tears dripped down Joy’s cheeks. She needed to get out of here before someone knocked on her window and tried to talk to her. Before Granger came back. She got in her car and cranked the engine, not bothering to wait for it to warm. Then she drove home, careful of the icy roads due to the earlier rain shower. When she got home, she peeled off her clothes and traded them for some warm pajamas before climbing into bed.

  Chelsea launched on her stomach and stared her squarely in the eyes. Meow.

  “Granger would never hurt me,” Joy told her cat, speaking to herself as well. She knew Granger, and he would never purposely do anything to make her feel the way she did right now. And yet, here she was, feeling like someone had socked her in the heart. Her brain was trying to be rational though, searching for ways where that kiss and hug made sense. No matter what possibilities she came up with, though, they all hurt. Everything hurt. Maybe she was coming down with the flu on top of a broken heart.

  Her phone buzzed on her bedside table. She lifted it and read the text from Granger.

  Where did you go? I thought we had plans to meet tonight.

  She stared at her screen for a long moment as Chelsea swatted her paw at the words. Joy never should’ve introduced Chelsea to that cat app on her iPad. She didn’t know how to respond to Granger’s text. His tone was as if nothing had happened. Shouldn’t he be leading with, I need to tell you something. Or Don’t freak out.

  I had a piece of mistletoe with your name on it in my pocket.

  Bitter emotion rose in Joy’s throat. Did he also have one with Erin’s name? Instead of starting an argument, she replied, Sorry to leave so soon. I was tired.

  She watched the dots on her screen begin to bounce as Granger texted back.

  I can understand that. We can talk tomorrow.

  Joy stared at the message. Maybe things would feel different in the morning but right now, since Erin was picking up the girls after school, Joy had no intention of seeing him tomorrow. Or the day after that. She also had no intention of playing the fool again this Christmas.

  Chapter Twenty

  Granger woke with the sound of birds calling outside his window on the Monday before Christmas. The big day wasn’t until Friday, so he still had time to finish shopping.

  “Mom is watching us again today?” Abby asked, standing in the doorway.

  Granger sat up in bed and looked at her. “Is that okay with you?” He frowned as he looked at his daughter. “I thought you’d be happy about your mom being around.”

  Abby stepped inside his room and plopped on the edge of the bed beside him. “I am.”

  “Well, you don’t look happy.”

  She sighed and looked up as she lay back, her hair fanning out all around her. She still looked like a child but her deep sigh and eye roll gave away the fact that she was growing up. “I just thought that when she was here, you’d be here too. Like a real family. Except, whenever she’s watching us, you’re not here. You’re off doing something else. With someone else.”

  Ah. Granger thought he understood now. “Come here.” He tipped his chin up to gesture for Abby to sit back up. She did, and he wrapped his arm around her. “First off, we are a real family. We’ve always been a real family.”

  Abby frowned. “No. A real family has a mom and a dad. We’ve mostly just had you.”

  Granger sucked in a deep breath. He felt like he’d been having various versions of this conversation for years. But he’d have it as many times as his girls needed it. “A family is as big or small as the people you let in. It can be two people or a hundred. It’s not about the size; it’s about the love. It was you, me, and Willow. And Nana and Papa too. Now your mom is back. Maybe things aren’t the way you thought they’d look but we’re still a real family, and we all love you and Willow very much.”

  “What about Joy? Is she part of our family?”

  Granger pulled in a breath. That was a tough question, and he didn’t want to say or do anything to give Abby false hope one way or another. “Right now, she’s a friend of the family. And a very good friend of mine.”

  “You said family was as big as the people you let in. Are you going to let her in?” Abby asked.

  It sounded like a simple yes-or-no question, and maybe it was. He had deep feelings for Joy. He loved her…And
love didn’t come along every day. She already felt like family to him.

  Granger blinked Abby into focus. “What if I did let Joy in? Would that be okay with you?”

  Abby took a moment to think. “I really like Joy. And if you’re not going to marry Mom again, I think it’s good if you marry Joy.”

  Granger chuckled quietly. “Who said anything about marriage?”

  “That’s what people do, right? When they want someone else to join their family? Cami at school got a new mom when her dad married his girlfriend.”

  Granger nodded. “Well, you already have a mom. So even if I did…marry Joy, she wouldn’t take your mom’s place. She’d be more of a…”

  “Stepmom.” Abby shrugged. “So I’d have two moms.”

  “But Joy and I aren’t getting married,” Granger clarified, thinking the idea should sound crazy. Joy had only just walked into his life. He’d been taking the girls to art and fighting his attraction to her for a year but it wasn’t until last month that he’d invited her into his home. And his family’s Thanksgiving. And into his heart.

  Granger swallowed. “You’re a good kid, you know that?”

  Abby grinned. “So I guess I made Santa’s good list this year?”

  “I’m thinking so.” Granger stood. “Your mom will be here any minute, and then I’m heading out. You’re okay?”

  Abby fidgeted with her hands in front of her. “Yeah. It’s just a few days before Christmas, and my mom is home. I’m better than okay.”

  Granger was too. He was heading up Merry Mountain Farms, and things were in the green. His girls were happy and healthy. He hadn’t heard from Joy today but tonight, they were going on a real date to the Hope for the Holidays auction. He wanted to bid on a lot more than a few items to support the orphanage though. He wanted to place a bid on Joy’s heart.

  * * *

  Joy glanced down at her phone as it pinged with another incoming text from Granger. She’d have to respond to him soon and either call off their date or keep it and confront him about what she’d seen last night. She wanted to give Granger the benefit of the doubt but it was difficult to explain away a kiss on the lips.