47 Destinies: Finding Grace

by Perez, Marlies Schmudlach

  Todd shared a lot about his work at the Boys and Girls Club and swapped funny kid stories with Grace. She enjoyed hearing about his work and dedication to help kids grow into responsible young adults. There was no break in their conversation.

  Grace was amazed when Todd announced, “We’re here!” Grace was so caught up in their conversation that she paid no attention to where they were going. When she looked around, she took in all the beauty. Spring announced itself everywhere. They passed a small school situated under large oak trees. Grace smiled when she read the sign ‘Sutter’s Mill Elementary School’.

  “Where are we?” Grace laughed. She had never been to this area before. There were pine trees clustered together, among batches of large oaks, surrounded by meadows with a fast running river in the midst of it all.

  “We are in the town of Coloma. This is where gold was first discovered in California back in 1848. I thought you would enjoy some history, sprinkled with incredible natural beauty,” Todd said, knowing he made a great choice for their first date. Grace kept looking around the area with a beautiful smile on her face.

  “The kids would love it here,” Grace said, holding tight to Todd’s hand.

  “Maybe someday we can all come here together,” Todd offered as he parked the car. “Let’s take a tour of the Coloma State Park. There is a museum here which I thought you would like. It has some good stuff on the lives of the gold miners.”

  “How did you know that I like museums?” Grace inquired, half-knowing the answer.

  “Cora, of course,” Todd answered. Cora was his best resource for understanding women and in this case, he hit the gold mine since Grace and Cora would soon be related.

  “What else has she told you? Should I be concerned?” Grace chuckled knowing that Cora had her best interests at heart.

  “There’s nothing to worry about. In fact, she has already fully lectured me about taking good care of you today. I got quite the warning, and I haven’t even done anything.”

  “Brent and Cora are very protective of the children and me. I didn’t tell Brent about all of my rotten dates. I was afraid he might go give those rude men a piece of his mind and maybe even a fist,” Grace said truthfully with her sweet southern accent.

  “If he ever decides to go, I will be right with him. I can’t believe the nerve of those guys. You never disrespect a woman. It is flat wrong,” Todd said, working himself up in a little lather.

  Grace stopped and put her arms around Todd. “You want to be my knight in shining armor, Todd? Hey, I don’t even know if you have a family shield.”

  “I am sure that Todd Franklin Harcourt has a family shield somewhere, if you must know, my lady,” Todd said with the serious tone of a knight. “But, don’t even think of calling me Sir Todd, and definitely not Franklin.”

  “I am somewhat tempted, but I will respect your wishes,” Grace said teasingly. “Tell me more about this gold. Is there any left? Should I keep my eyes out for it?”

  Todd appreciated Grace changing the subject again. There was a lot about his family which he kept hidden. Cora didn’t even know much about his life growing up. He kept it to himself and he intended to keep it that way. His life had changed so much since then; it wasn’t worth digging up the past. He once made the mistake of revealing it to his ex-wife and in the long run, it didn’t turn out well.

  Grace and Todd went all through Coloma State Park. They enjoyed the blacksmith shop, took a carriage ride, visited the old Chinese buildings, panned for gold, walked across the historic one-lane bridge, looked around the two old churches, saw Sutter’s Mill and went through the museum.

  He enjoyed watching the expressions on Grace’s face as she listened to the volunteer tour guides provide the history of the Gold Rush. She was all the way in. While in the museum store, Grace bought a few small vials of gold for her kids. It was a sweet gesture that showed Todd that her children were her priority.

  After learning all about the Gold Rush, Todd drove to find them some lunch. He remembered a small little town next to the State Park with quaint country shops and restaurants. He found a Mexican restaurant called Gringos where the outside seating overlooked the river.

  He wanted Grace to enjoy the fresh breeze, vibrant wildflowers, churning waters of the South Fork of the American River and budding trees all placed within the backdrop of lush green rolling hills. Upon placing their order, they walked to the outside deck and found a table.

  “How do you find these amazing places?” Grace asked, dazzled by the loveliness of the location.

  “When you are single without children, you have a lot of time to explore. I often get in my car on the weekend and just let the road take me where it wants me to go. Long ago I was caught up in how everyone else wanted me to live. Now that I am on my own, I go wherever I want to go. Does that sound selfish?” Todd wondered more to himself than Grace.

  “I think it sounds pretty wonderful to me. I am happy that you brought me here, Todd. I can’t get over how beautiful the rolling hills look with their green blankets of grass. Are these all wild flowers or do you think someone planted them? Can we walk down to the river from here?” Grace fired off the questions so rapidly that Todd couldn’t keep up. She looked like a little girl on Christmas morning. Her spirit was alive and soaking in every ray of sunshine straight into her heart.

  “We can do whatever you like. You look very happy right now, Grace. Time for a picture,” Todd said as he grabbed his camera out of his bag.

  He wanted to capture Grace, as he couldn’t imagine her looking any more radiant than she did at that very moment. Her blond hair moved slightly by the late afternoon breeze. She was gazing at the river below. The baby blue sky was void of any clouds. The flowers in the background swayed with the breeze and put sweetness into the air. He took several pictures of her and when she wasn’t looking, he took a few more. There was no doubt in Todd’s mind that he was falling fast for this beauty by his side.

  Todd used every opportunity possible to put a smile on Grace’s face. It was easy to be with her. He didn’t feel like he had to pretend to be someone else. She laughed at his silly jokes, even when he knew they were duds. She didn’t complain about anything.

  It was a new experience for him to be around a woman who allowed him to lead. His ex-wife hated the outdoors and whined whenever they went on a hike or anywhere in nature. She complained so much that over time, Todd would leave her behind so she could go shopping while he went exploring.

  “Would you like to take a hike around the area?” Todd asked Grace, pulling them both from their thoughts.

  “Wonderful. Do you have a place in mind?” Grace questioned, willing to go practically anywhere with Todd.

  “I’ve found the smart way to find the best spots is to ask the locals,” Todd said slightly mischievously.

  “Perfect, I’d like to see you in action,” Grace challenged him.

  Todd found an employee and asked if they could send the manager over to their table. In about five minutes, a blond man with a smile on his face approached their table.

  “Hi! My name is Karl. How may I help you?”

  “We have thoroughly enjoyed our lunch here at Gringos. The atmosphere on the deck is incredible. Grace and I are up from the Bay Area for the day and I was hoping you could recommend a nearby hiking trail,” Todd asked politely.

  “Glad you enjoyed your meal. There are several hiking areas to choose from, but my favorite is at Cronan Ranch. It is a recreational park and has over 12 miles of trails for horses, biking or hiking. Just take Highway 49 toward Auburn. It’s about ten minutes up the road and on your left,” Karl explained to Todd.

  “Are there trails near the river?” Todd asked, wanting to be sure to find the best location.

  “There is a trail called ‘The Up and Down Trail’. It will take you through the rolling hills and then down to the river. The views are breathtaking,” Karl relayed to Todd. “If you are interested in a little dessert, I also recommend The Sierr
a Rizing Bakery which is on the other side of the parking lot across from Hotshot Imaging. They have the best desserts in town.”

  “Thank you for your help. We will be sure to check out the bakery on our way out,” Todd said to Karl as they got up to leave and shook hands.

  “And that is how it is done. In fact that is probably how the West was won,” Todd bantered to Grace while leaving the restaurant.

  “Well, aren’t you just so proud of yourself, Mr. Harcourt? I sure did like Karl’s dessert suggestion. Can we walk over to The Sierra Rising Bakery? A latte is also calling me,” Grace proposed as she took Todd’s hand.

  “But of course, my lady!” Todd grinned.

  After selecting several desserts and two large lattes, they drove over to Cronan Ranch. They walked down to the river’s edge on the ‘Up and Down Trail’. It meandered through large meadows dotted with expansive oak trees. The meadow grasses were a brilliant sea of green. Mixed in were California poppies, wild lupine, daisies, dandelions and numerous other flowers. Occasional patches of rocks jetted up from underneath the grass.

  There were other people out walking, but they passed very few. They could see horses on many of the trails and appreciated the country element they brought to the incredible natural scenes.

  When they arrived at the river, the sun began to set. It was the second sunset that they had shared together. Todd was definitely enjoying this newfound tradition.

  “The sun is beginning to set,” Grace announced. “Look at how the colors bounce off the water.”

  Todd was too busy admiring Grace to look at the sunset. He was enamored with the gorgeous woman by his side. He picked a small wild daisy and placed it behind Grace’s ear. He stared down at her sweet face and brushed the hair out of her eyes.

  He placed both hands on her face, moved closer to her ear and gently whispered, “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever known.”

  As he drew his head back, Grace moved in closer. She took the back of her hand and moved it along his cheek. Her sea green eyes focused intently on him. She searched his eyes as if peering into his soul.

  “I want you to kiss me, Todd Harcourt. Please. I can’t wait any longer,” Grace pleaded with Todd.

  She truly could not hold on one minute longer. Grace needed to feel the pleasure she knew he could give her. She had seen the way he had been looking at her all day. She could tell that he was holding back as a respectful gentleman, but she didn’t care about that right now. She wanted more than mere friendship.

  Todd immediately obliged her straightforward request. He had been resisting the urge all day. He was more than ready to take her up on her offer. He took his arm and drew her even closer to his side. She was so near that he could smell the delicate scent of her perfume. He put a fingertip under her chin to guide her lips to meet his. He slowly bent forward and pressed his lips firmly upon hers. His tongue moved to find hers in an explosive dance. He wanted so badly to be gentle, but the fire within him was out of control. He had dreamed about this moment. It was far better than he had fantasized.

  Grace was completely swept away. She let every inhibition go and allowed herself to simply feel. Her eyes were closed and her soul soared through the clouds, high up into the air and back down again. She ran her hands through his hair, yearning for even more. Desire pumped through every cell in her body. Her forwardness even surprised her. She had never been this aggressive before. Being caught up in the moment made her feel alive and then in the next moment, even more alive. Her heart pounded and her breath was racing. There was energy between them that refused to be contained.

  “Mmmm,” Grace murmured throwing her arms around Todd and pulling him back in for another wet kiss. They stood together lost in the intensity of the moment. It had been a long time since either of them had experienced desire this intense.

  “Look what I found and it is so soft,” Todd said as he pulled a blanket from his backpack and laid it on the ground over a small patch of grass. They were the only two out by the river except for the occasional rafting boat or kayak which floated by. The water was deep blue with sprinkles of white churning water by the rapids. River rocks abounded and spanned the spectrum of color from white to black.

  “Please,” Todd said as he motioned for Grace to sit down next to him on the blanket. She responded with a smile and sat beside him. She placed her head on his chest as they both stared out at the river. The sun had gone down behind one of the many large hills. Its golden hue rested upon each oak tree leaf and provided the warmest back glow. The patches of light which shone through the trees left spotlights of brightness in the grass. Squirrels roamed the trees, hopping from branch to branch in concert with the sounds of the rolling river. Birds dove in and out of the branches, calling out to one another in their own melodies.

  Todd took Grace’s hand in his and began to play with her long fingers. They were so perfectly shaped and manicured. His were rough as sand paper in comparison. The contrast was exhilarating.

  “Grace, do you think you will ever be able to love again?” Todd asked with concern in his voice.

  Grace remained quiet for a very long time. It was a question she pondered ever since Derek had died. For the first few years, she never thought it would be possible to love again. She couldn’t imagine finding a man like Derek ever again. But her short time with Todd opened her heart to a truth that she hadn’t realized before. While it was true that she would never find another Derek, she no longer needed that to happen.

  Grace had changed. She was not the same person as when Derek was alive. She had been through so much by surviving his death and that experience changed her. In some ways she was weaker, but in many ways she was even stronger. Derek’s death forced her to become independent, which was something completely new to her. She had grown up dependent on her father and then after a few short years, she married Derek and became dependent on him. After his death, she had to find her own strength. It was a new realization for Grace. She had made it through a terribly dark place in her life, yet the reality was that she made it. She had done it on her own. For the first time in her life, Grace was really proud of herself.

  Grace sat with Todd’s question as he played with the curls in her hair. Was she capable of loving someone again? The more she pondered the question a new question arose in her mind. Was she capable of not loving again? Do we ever really choose to love, or do we simply love, she wondered.

  Todd allowed Grace the time to put together her thoughts. Her answer was very important to him. He could feel his emotions all tied up and he wanted to cautiously move forward. He wasn’t willing to risk falling in love with another woman who would eventually walk away. If Grace’s heart was permanently closed, there was nothing he would be able to do to open it. It had to be her choice to love again.

  Grace sat up and put her lips softly upon Todd’s. She then placed a trail of small kisses over his right ear and whispered, “Yes, I am open to love.”

  It was the answer he wanted to hear. Todd grasped her by the shoulders and laid her on the blanket. He maneuvered his body on top of hers. He was careful not to put his full weight upon her. Her body was delicate like a porcelain doll. He pressed his lips upon hers and kissed her over and over. Grace touched the slight stubble on his face and yearned for more caressing. She could feel the hardness in his pants and it did not frighten her. His hand reached up her shirt as he began to unhook her bra. She wanted him to touch her everywhere.

  Suddenly, Todd sat up. “I am sorry, Grace. I have been very disrespectful,” Todd said, now standing. He needed physical distance from her.

  “Todd, it’s okay. I wanted it too,” Grace said as she rose to put her arms around him.

  “No, I told you that I would take it slow and here I am acting like an out of control teenager.” Todd gathered the blanket and folded it into his backpack. “We need to head back so we can eat dinner.” Todd had put up a wall.

  Grace was surprised by her distress regarding their quick de
parture. Had she disappointed him? She truly relished Todd’s kisses and tantalizing touch. It had felt like an eternity since a man had touched her that way. Her body craved the attention. She had forgotten how good it felt.

  “Todd, please wait. There is something you should know,” Grace said reaching out to him. “I…I don’t know what I’m doing,” Grace stammered.

  Todd placed the backpack on the ground and moved back closer to Grace. “I don’t understand.”

  Grace twisted her hands behind her back. “I’ve only been with Derek.”

  It took a moment for it to sink in. “You’ve never been with another man?” Todd couldn’t believe it. She was the most beautiful woman he had even seen and she had only been intimate with one man her entire life.

  “No. Derek and I waited until our wedding night,” Grace disclosed. She felt a little foolish telling him, but she needed him to know.

  “Now I feel even worse,” Todd said, turning his back on Grace to face the river.

  Grace grabbed his hand before he could leave. “You are misunderstanding me. Please don’t go. I wanted you to know so you wouldn’t be disappointed if I don’t know what I am doing when you touch me. I want you to touch me,” Grace said as she placed Todd’s hand over her heart.

  “Sweetheart, you don’t have to worry about a thing. Your kiss is intoxicating,” Todd said, so touched by her actual innocence.

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really! Thank you for sharing that part of you with me, Grace. It makes me admire you even more than I did before. It is nothing for you to be ashamed of. It is something that you should admire about yourself. It means that you saved yourself for the right person. I promise you that I will respect that about you. I won’t let anything get out of control,” Todd said, wondering how in the world he was going to keep that promise.