The nursery is empty now and I can begin to order all that I need to make the room perfect for little Danny.
And like that, I have managed to spend another day without crawling up the walls. It’s evening now, and all that is left to do is to wait for dinner.
This time it was Peter, who brought me my dinner. Maybe he was just curious about my interior design skills, or he felt as if he needed to show me that he could actually be a host and not a zoo keeper. He took the chair from my dining table and sat next to me as I started to feast on my meal while sitting on my bed, cross-legged.
Admittedly, I was surprised, even a little startled, when he closed the door and sat down. Not really because he didn’t ask, but actually because he stayed. It was a strange feeling since it was so familiar and yet not. At least Peter didn’t start a conversation before I was ready to stomach having him that close to me again.
“I like what you did with the place,” he told me after he graciously waited for me to swallow down the bite I had chewed on.
I moved my head to look at him, silently.
“I’ve been told that you are re-purposing the office to a nursery,” Peter continued as if my expression was nothing but normal, even an invitation for him to continue. “Are you planning on purchasing everything online?”
Still looking at him, I shoved another forkful of veggies into my mouth, since I was curious about how long he was going to continue this monolog without me joining in. But I didn’t want to be a complete ass, so I nodded.
“I can get you, someone, to paint the room, or do you want to do that yourself?” He asked me, making it rather difficult to give him an answer without saying a word, but I nodded again.
“At least allow me to get you the tools to paint the walls,” he offered, and I shrugged, continuing to eat.
“Fine,” Peter brought his hands together rubbing them, got onto his feet, and turned to leave, grabbing the chair to put it back where it belonged.
“Good talk,” was my comment on that, bringing my attention back to my plate.
He stopped mid-movement.
“You’re mad at me,” Peter assumed, but I stayed silent, “because I haven’t taken you to either of them. I get that. I didn’t want you to worry about them.” He continued and by that, made me worry. “Neither of them are in the right state to see you right now.”
Now Peter made me stop mid-movement.
Anger issues are definitely on the downside of being a beast. I like to think of them as part of being especially passionate. I put the fork down slowly, next to my plate, on the tray, and carefully let out the breath I was holding. I didn’t want to use the fork against Peter, mostly because I still wanted to eat my dinner with it. Plus, sticking a fork into his neck, definitely, would have a negative impact on our already difficult relationship.
“What have you done with them?” I asked them, doing my best to add ice instead of fire to my tone.
He already knew that I was furious, no need to give him the satisfaction of proving him right.
“It’s more the result of your doing than mine, Meg,” Peter answered, poking the beast that was me. “We didn’t even get the chance to start Daniel’s treatment because he is less than cooperative and Jay is suffering the effects of his body trying to battle the memories we implanted to have him suffer less.”
Screw that. I can eat with my fingers. This was what I was thinking first, but secondly, I know that he is right in a way. Of course, forcing Jay to remember must be hurtful and maybe even harming to his health especially his brain and mind. Even though I knew that Peter was trying to blame me, and make me regret what I did after kidnapping the father of my child, I knew that it wasn’t my fault. And, what was more important to me was that Jay’s mind and body would not be permanently harmed. I was willing to wait for the day the scientists and doctors would say that he was well again. I could accept the fact that seeing me now might make everything worse. I sort of expected that.
I don’t know what worried me more at that moment. The fact that Jay’s mind and brain could be damaged or the idea of what Daniel was going through because of him not being cooperative. I could imagine him fighting with fangs and claws to keep everyone off him. Even if they did try and sedate him, he would still fight with everything he has. Because that is who he is.
“I can see him without wanting to kill you as a result,” I told Peter, confusing him. “Daniel,” I added. “He will be compliant. I will calm him. You know what it will do to him when he sees me here.”
I could imagine how Dan would feel the second he realized that it was really me in front of him. It would tear him apart. I picked up the fork again, stabbed more veggies, stuffed them into my mouth, chewed on them without tasting them, and swallowed them down along with the lump that had appeared in my throat. I wouldn’t give Peter the satisfaction of seeing that I was hurting.
“If you really want that.” He knew perfectly well what it would mean if I did that.
“Daniel’s and Jay’s wellbeing was part of the deal,” I told him as calmly and collectedly as I could muster, and it hurt my muscles not to tremble. “Seeing them on a regular basis was part of the deal.” I reminded him, knowing that he had not broken that part of the deal if it meant them seeing me, would harm them.
Bastard.
“You know, that they do not need to see me for me to see them, Peter.” How I managed to sound soft at that moment is still beyond me. “Don’t use my request against me. That’s beneath you. You’re not your brother.”
These words did something to him. Although nothing in his expression changed, I could see his eyes blur and refocus. It could have been just me, but I think I even saw a slight glow before he eventually nodded.
“You’re right, I’m not.” He said as he put the chair back underneath the dining table. “If you are up to seeing Daniel tonight, I will have you escorted to him. I’ll have your bracelet recoded so that you can unlock the doors leading towards his cell, but Meghan,” he paused until I looked up at him – and I did my best to make puppy dog eyes. “Don’t be mad at me about what you see. I’m giving my beasts the freedom to execute their orders how they seem fit.”
All I could do was nod because the meaning of every chosen word of his struck deep. I don’t know if Peter had deliberately chosen them, or if it was just coincidence. But then again, when it comes to him, everything is planned.
So, I’m going to see Daniel and I am sure that he is going to see me. I just hope that they will give us some time alone. I need to speak to him alone, although there will be microphones, although Peter will listen to me, to us, I just need to have a moment with him. I have to have him all to myself.
It was harder than I imagined. And it was so much worse than I expected.
When Gray walked me through the first white and then unpainted corridors of what I used to call the compound, I was nervous, but I did my best to memorize my path so that I could find it again.
I don’t know what I expected. Not really. Maybe seeing him all chained up, beaten up, wounded, just like the one time they brought me to Jay after he had some sort of breakdown. Yes, that probably was it. But I expected Dan to be Dan, or at least to be Four. I expected to see a fire, no, a lava-fueled creature ready on its feet as soon as he heard someone approaching his cell. Not… not this.
As soon as I stepped through the heavy metal door Gray had held open for me, he closed it shut behind me as if he knew that he shouldn’t be close when I laid my eyes on what was left of him. Dan’s lack of response told me everything. Whoever had tortured him had used me. Whatever they had of me. Or worse.
He was lying there, leaning halfway against the wall behind him, his chest barely moving, with his chin on his chest. If I had still been human I would have said that I wasn’t sure if he was covered with dirt, clothes, or with his blood. But I knew it was the latter. I knew the only fabric that was covering him was his ripped off track pants, and those didn’t even reach down to his knees
. Everything else was bare, apart from the broad metal collar around his neck.
My knees gave in beneath me and they collided with the hard cold floor of the cell. I only managed to stay up straight because of the bars that separated us.
I wanted to tell whoever was watching us to remove these bars, but the air refused to fill my lungs, my mouth disobeyed me, and my eyes started to burn. Not because of the smell…
“Daniel.” His name was the only thing I managed to speak, but there was no sound; it was merely a whisper.
I felt like a flower that had been cruelly plucked, torn away from the ground and the water that was feeding it, and stolen from the sunlight that had made it flourish.
If I had still been human, I would have been broken by the fact that he hadn’t heard me, that he didn’t realize that I was still there. But I wasn’t human anymore.
“Daniel,” I repeated myself, and my voice was obeying me, carrying his name through the dark, life-consuming cage towards him.
His response was nothing but a weak, powerless groan. It almost sounded like a plea, begging for this torture to be stopped before it had begun. What had they done to him?
“Remove the bars,” I ordered, grabbing the iron barrier in front of me tightly, pulling myself up.
There was no reaction. Neither from whoever was watching us nor from Daniel.
“Remove these bars!” I shouted, looking up. I couldn’t find the damn window. “Peter!”
God, if I ever find out that he was watching, I’m going to rip out his balls and feed them to him. Raw, in slices, covered with living fire ants. That’s not cruel enough.
I hit against one of the bars, but it didn’t hurt me. Outside, I couldn’t feel one damn thing, but on the inside: My inside was freezing and burning at the same time. I let out a cry of anger and frustration, but Daniel still didn’t move, didn’t react. I couldn’t bare it. I still cannot endure the image, the memory.
“Daniel, please,” I addressed him, moving as close as I possibly could, but even though I tried to reach through those damn bars he was too far away.
My head almost fit through them, and I was sure that my shoulders would. Those bars were as thick as two of my fingers, perfect for me to wrap my small hands around them. So, I did. I didn’t think, not really, instinct drove me. I had warped into my beast form without noticing, but I didn’t care. If that gate wouldn’t move, I would make it. So, I grabbed one bar and pulled on it. One yank and it reacted once, briefly until it locked. Of course, it was built that even a beast couldn’t force it to move. But I didn’t care. I growled, and snarled, and pulled with all I had, my muscles and the weight of my body. Nothing.
“Daniel!” I shouted at him, slamming my fist against the bar that I had pulled on.
I barely felt the pain. His weak grunt drowned my ears.
Once more I turned around, looking up, and searched for the hidden window.
“Peter! Get him here, right now,” I snarled, knowing that I was fully transformed and probably scaring the shit of whoever watched me. “Or I will tear down this gate!”
It took only a second, but then that familiar clicking noise appeared.
“I… I’m sorry Ma’am,” someone, whose voice I’ve never heard before answered me. “We were told you were only allowed to visit…”
I inhaled deeply. Damn soldiers. Damn humans. Damn idiots.
“Very well,” I responded, and turned around.
I don’t know why, or how, this came to me. It was like an epiphany as if someone was there whispering into my ear. This gate was built to withstand brutal force and blind rage, a mindless beast. But not me. Not me. And me, little old me, Meghan, would break through this gate. And she knew how.
I was either grinning or baring my fangs. I was doing both. I grabbed that bar that was in my way with both of my clawed hands, tightly, as tight as I could and then, I started twisting my wrists: First to the right, and then twisting to the left.
“Come on,” I murmured to myself. “Come on. This has to work.”
“Kitten….”
I froze and then I shattered to little pieces as I realized that Dan really had said the name he had given me. But he hadn’t moved, and his head hadn’t lifted. I had no idea if he had heard me, or if he was dreaming, hallucinating or worse. But hearing him was enough.
Holding on to that bar, I leaped up, putting my feet against the two to the right and left and pulled. I knew I had to be careful, because of little Danny but I had to try. Then, I brought my feet back to the ground and pushed again. And there it was, inaudible to human ears, but not to mine, a tiny crack. I stopped pushing, grabbed the bar again, and twisted.
The noise that followed startled me. It sounded like a broken church bell. But what really made me blink was the fact that I was holding an intact bar in my hands. It just wasn’t connected to the gate anymore.
I tossed the bar aside and stepped through the opening that was easily large enough for me. Just a heartbeat later I was next to Dan, kneeling and enfolding his face with my hands, gently lifting it up towards me.
Most of the blood had dried, at least on his face. He had a cut above his left brow that was still healing. I instantly knew that he had lost a lot of blood, which was the reason for him being almost unconscious.
“Daniel,” I pressed my forehead against his. “Dan. It’s me. Come on. Wake up. Wake up sleepy head.”
Another groan escaped his throat, but it wasn’t a sleepy one. How much I would have preferred that over Daniel barely being able to muster a sound.
I brushed my lips against him thoughtlessly, but the taste of his blood, and what was him, send a jolt of adrenaline through my body. I kissed him in the blink of an eye later. It was nothing but chaste, just pressing my lips against his as if that was enough to breath back life into his limp body.
“Kitten,” he murmured against my lips, suddenly.
“Dan,” I answered him, slowly, gently holding his face, and caressing his cheeks.
“That doesn’t feel like the dream I had,” he groaned and tried to move, but his body wouldn’t oblige.
“Hush, it’s fine,” I whispered, stroking his shaggy hair from his face. “You’ve lost a lot of blood. Take it slow.”
“That’s definitely not the dream I had,” he gave back and blinked.
As soon as his eyes flung open, I could see that Daniel realized the truth. He thought that I had been part of his dream; a surely very naughty dream. But now, seeing me in front of him, our noses touching, he knew that I was kneeling next to him inside his cell.
“No.” His weak voice was suddenly strong and he sat himself up, shaking his head. “No.” He repeated, refusing to trust his own senses. “You’re not here. Tell me you’re not here. Vanish. Kitten…”
Daniel closed his eyes as if by that he would be able to teleport me away, far, far away from here. I almost wished he wouldn’t open his eyes again.
But he did, and the expression on his face hurt more than a dull spear being slowly drilled through my body.
“No,” his voice broke and I could feel his heart crack along with mine, but what was even worse, were the tears in his eyes. “Why?”
“Because I can’t do this without you,” I whispered, and he knew that I wasn’t only talking about him.
I took his hand and placed it on my tummy, knowing that he could feel the extra heartbeat below his palm.
The last thing I expected him to do is what he did next. I don’t know how he manages to conjure enough strength to do it, but he pulled me onto his lap and into his arms, although it was him who placed his head on my shoulder and under my chin. For a second there he held me so tightly that I couldn’t breathe, but as quickly as his strength had returned it quickly vanished again.
All I could do was gently stroke the back of his head and hold him as tightly as possible.
It didn’t take long for Peter to show up. I heard him approaching a few seconds before Gray opened the metal door and let hi
m step through. If I had cared, I would have looked up and watched the expression on Peter’s face as he saw that I had successfully removed one bar from the metal gate.
“What happened?” Peter asked, but I didn’t answer, expecting that he addressed whoever had talked to me before, but apparently, he was talking to me. “Meghan. What happened?”
“He wouldn’t open the door,” I answered, not looking at him, my voice devoid of emotion. “So, I opened it.”
With that, I rendered Peter speechless, but yet again, I didn’t care. He could have turned and left me there with Daniel, who had fallen asleep, his arms wrapped around me like I was his lifeboat and maybe I was. There was no statement Peter could make to make this right. He couldn’t tell me that he hadn’t known in what state Daniel really was in. He couldn’t care less about one of the two men I had chosen over him. Not a chance. Not in hell.
There was no excuse for not opening the cage either.
“Miss Singer is allowed to enter Four’s cage at any time!” Peter ordered sharply, but I cut him off before he was able to utter the final two words: “No!”
It was when he turned towards me in confusion that I looked at him, scornfully. The first emotion I showed him since we had met again. And it struck him, hard.
“He needs to be tended to, he needs to be cared for, I will not allow you to leave him here like that,” I almost hissed at Peter. “My office is empty, have a bed put in there. He will stay with me until he is well again. Daniel has lost so much blood he cannot even heal properly. If no one tends to his wounds they will get infected, if they aren’t already.” I sniffed and could smell something wasn’t right. “He’s already about to get a sepsis.” I stopped him from arguing with me, as I added. “You know the only person he will allow close is me. If you want to save this investment, you better swallow down your pride, or whatever it is that makes you think rationally here and do as I say, Rook.”
My Beasts And Me (The Beast And Me Book 7) Page 3