The Gladiator's Honor

by Michelle Styles

  'Your father is much like my dead son in that. He too was fascinated by the gladiatorial life. There was nowhere he was happier than in the ring.'

  'You did not approve?'

  'No,' Gracchus spluttered. 'We, patricians, are born into a position and have a duty to hold that position up. Little good comes from associating with people like gladiators. I can remember as a young boy when such shows were strictly for funerals and not spectacles for mass entertainment. I despise everything to do with them. They show how far Rome has fallen. In my youth statuettes of gods were sold at street corners, not figurines of infamia.'

  'I will keep that in mind.' Julia felt the prick of a headache start between her brows.

  'I heard about your escapade with the gladiators, Julia,' Gracchus said, his face turning even graver. Julia shifted uncomfortably in her chair. 'It saddened me to think my ex-daughter-in-law was mixed up with such ruffians. I thought you were more modest man that. Many times, I have said how much you remind me of my dear departed wife, a true Roman matron. Such a pity you and Lucius never had any children.'

  'It was never my intention to be involved, but Bato had other ideas,' Julia said stiffly. 'Thankfully, Valens rescued Bato or else he might not be here to beg treats from your hand.'

  The senator harrumphed, but fed Bato another sweetmeat.

  Julia set down her empty beaker and stood up. She needed to go now before she said something she regretted. Valens might be a gladiator, but he was a far better man than Lucius could ever be.

  A door slammed and Lucius strode in. As his gaze fell on her, he frowned and his eyes became ice-cold. Julia's stomach twisted and swayed as she remembered the beating that had followed the last time she had seen him look like that. Bato raised his hackles and growled.

  'What are you doing here, Julia Antonia?' Lucius squeaked out, not bothering with pleasantries. 'What sort of poisoned gossip are you spreading?'

  He can't touch you, she repeated, hoping to stem the rising tide of bile in her throat.

  'Julia Antonia is here to visit me at my invitation. Now calm yourself, Lucius, and behave like a Roman. Have some mint tea.' Gracchus rang a silver bell. 'Some fresh mint tea for my son.'

  'I must go,' Julia said, ignoring Lucius. She leant over and gave Gracchus a kiss on the cheek. 'I have enjoyed our visit. Perhaps sometime you will show me the brooch that your son valued so much.'

  'It is here.' Gracchus held out a brooch that bore more than a superficial resemblance to the brooch Julia had seen on Valens's cloak. 'I wear it all the time to remind me of my dead son.'

  'I can see why he wore it until his death,' Julia said, trying to be casual, but feeling her heart start to pound. She rose gracefully. 'I enjoyed my tea.'

  'Come again soon."

  'I plan to.' Julia curled her fingers around Bato, and started towards the door. As she left, she heard Lucius complaining to Gracchus.

  Chapter Eleven

  Julia sat on the stone bench in her father's atrium. The twin scents of lavender and rose filled the air. The late afternoon sunshine cast elongated shadows over her and the scrolls of poetry she had by her side, as a cover. Instead of thumbing through the well-loved lines, Julia kept her eyes focussed on the outside door.

  Valens would have to pass this way and she'd explain all that had happened with the augur, but she would keep her visit to Senator Gracchus a secret There was no need for Valens to know about her clumsy attempt at finding his family.

  She'd save it for a surprise. After she had found them, told them of Valens's miraculous escape, then she'd tell him. She'd give him life again and bring happiness to his estranged family. It had to work. She hoped it would. She had promised Venus that she'd control her impulsiveness and then she had done this. And she had met Lucius again as well. Seeing him was never good. Somehow, he always contrived to make matters worse.

  At first, her stomach knotted with each sound. Was it Valens's footstep? But so far, it had only been Clodius the porter or one of the other servants. She had even tried taking a bath, hoping he'd appear. Her hair curling softly about her shoulders bore testimony to the amount of time she had spent in her bath. Still he had not returned from practice as far as she could tell.

  'I still cannot understand why your father chooses to believe that charlatan of an augur. Anyone with half an eye could see that the man was mad.' Sabina stopped in front of Julia and blocked her vision of the courtyard and the door.

  'Caesar believes in him.' Julia kept her voice neutral. This morning seemed so long ago. She conspicuously rattled the papyrus of the scroll she was currently reading, hoping Sabina would take the hint. The augur had to be right. Her life had to be about to turn for the better.

  'The more fool him. Returned from the dead, indeed. Do you know what trouble I've been to to find a suitable alliance? Only for that priest to undo weeks and weeks of unstinting effort. Perhaps your father might be persuaded to visit another more sensible augur.' Sabina gave a slight smirk. 'I understand you have decided to increase your chances of a good alliance and have renewed your acquaintance with Senator Gracchus.'

  'News travels fast' Julia turned again to the scroll, pretending the news did not perturb her. How did Sabina know? She thought she had kept the visit a secret.

  'You used the litter.' Sabina tapped a perfectly shod foot. 'Next time ask permission first. I was forced to walk to Flavia's. However, I find it impossible to be cross with you as you visited Gracchus. Your father will be pleased.'

  'I fail to see how my visiting Gracchus will help Father.'

  'You never know what lawsuits he might put Julius's way, now that he has fallen out with Lucius.' Her face bore all the hallmarks of a woman who found true satisfaction in the latest tidbit of gossip.

  'I wasn't aware Gracchus had fallen out with Lucius,' Julia said carefully, watching Sabina. whose cheeks flushed. 'Rome is rife with rumours.'

  'I heard Lucius is a disappointment to Gracchus. He is proving less adept in the Senate—four years the heir and yet to win an election. More spendthrift than Gracchus expected. He's already gone through his real father's fortune, you know. Now, Gracchus's invitation to you proves the rumour mill wasn't working overtime.'

  "The invitation had more to do with Bato…'

  Sabina's clawlike hand grasped Julia's arm. 'Just think of what this could mean. Clever you to have spotted the chance. Perhaps there is more to you…'

  Julia shifted uneasily on the stone bench, pressing her hands into the seat. She hated to think that she might be seen to be like Sabina, playing games and barely hiding her ambition. 'He seemed pleased to see me and asked me to visit again. Lucius was less than pleased.'

  'You're a dark horse, Julia. Perhaps that augur wasn't entirely mad after all. Perhaps he was right. The signs for a betrothal with Mettalius, who has had close links to Lucius in the Senate, are not good. We may have had a lucky escape. Restored from death could mean many things. Didn't Sulla sentence many senators to death? Or perhaps an elderly man whose doctor's had all but given up hope…'

  'Who am I to question the whims of the gods?' Julia pursed her lips and silently vowed she'd find a way to bribe the augur before she consented to marriage to someone older than her father. Valens restored to the place she knew he belonged was what she wanted.

  'Quite, and now we need to develop a plan…'

  The great oak door swung open and Valens entered. Her eyes devoured him and traced the line of his shoulders. She noticed small things. The way a small drop of water clung to the base of his throat. The way his hair gleamed with the faint sheen of the freshly washed and his tunic swung, revealing a bit more of his muscular legs than it should. Julia's breath caught in her throat. She tightened her hold on the scrolls and attempted to appear nonchalant, but her mind raced. She had to discover more about his past. She had seen his face on a statue somewhere. She simply need to discover where.

  When he reached the fountain, Valens stopped, listening. Then he turned towards them, a smile
playing on his lips. Julia sat paralysed. How to begin with Sabina next to her?

  'Excuse me, ladies, but you look so comfortable sitting in the sun, would you mind if I joined you?' Without waiting for an answer, he sat down beside Julia, leant back, with the sun on his face and closed his eyes. His eyelashes made dark smudges on his tanned cheeks.

  Sabina made little shooing motions. 'Julia, there are things we need to do. Things we have been discussing.'

  'As soon as I have finished this poem.' Julia fought to keep her voice steady. How could she bring the conversation around to his boyhood? Maybe if she did, she'd be able to convince him to go and make peace with his family.

  'Which poem?' Sabina's voice was sharp with suspicion. 'You are reading something appropriate, aren't you, Julia? Something sensible rather than the rubbish you normally read.'

  "The one I was reading when you interrupted me. Senator Gracchus recommended it to me,' she finished with sudden inspiration. She felt Valens's leg tense against hers as if the name disturbed him. But it happened so briefly, Julia dismissed the idea.

  'If the senator recommended it…' Sabina said, and stood up. She straightened her stola, and stalked off. Julia could hear her voice screech several orders at the servants.

  Julia waited until Sabina's voice had died away before she risked a proper look at Valens. He had not moved since he closed his eyes. Julia watched his chest as he took deep steady breaths, a lock of black hair falling down over his right eye. All her ideas deserted her. She opened her mouth and closed it again. Very quietly, she began to roll up the scrolls, fastening each one with a bit of cord. When she had finished, and he had still made no sound or move, she started to stand up.

  His hand caught hers, lacing her fingers with his. 'Stay, please stay.'

  'Sabina will be back shortly,' Julia explained, but his fingers remained closed around hers. Julia swallowed hard and her heart thumped in her ears. Her heart demanded she press her face close to his, touch his lips with her, regardless of who might see. She had to hang on to her sense of propriety. Things were too finely balanced to risk her father's wrath. She had had a reprieve this morning, but there was no telling for how long. 'We will have barely any time to talk.'

  She withdrew her hands and placed them primly on her lap. The skirt of her gown brushed his bare calf. She reached down and smoothed it away, but her hand felt the heat of his leg.

  'Shall we talk about poetry—unless you want to tell me about your day?' he asked, breaking the silence. 'Are you to be betrothed to Mettalius?'

  'The augur did not approve. The omens had changed.'

  'Did he say anything else?'

  'You know how priests are.' Julia gave a little wave of her hand. She had to get the subject away from this morning and towards Valens's boyhood without him realising why. She did not dare take the risk that he might stop her. After all, he had not contacted his family before now. 'They enjoy speaking in riddles. Do you find them helpful?'

  A smile tugged at the side of his mouth. 'At times, they have their uses. But you must be careful. One told my father I was destined for great things.'

  Julia's body tensed. He was doing it without her prompting. He was speaking of his childhood. 'Was the augur correct?'

  'Not in the way my father hoped.' Valens folded his hands behind his head. 'But in my own way, perhaps he was right. I, Valens the Thracian, have achieved greatness.'

  Back to gladiators. Julia bit her lip. She wanted to hear about before, not now. She had to try one more time. 'But are you worried about disappointing your father?'

  'Julia, my past no longer concerns me. I live only for the present' The planes of his face were shadowed. 'Shall we discuss something more agreeable. Poetry, perhaps?'

  He reached towards the scroll she had been reading and unwrapped it. His smile faded slightly and Julia wondered if somehow she had hurt him. Could he read Greek?

  'You are going through a Sappho stage,' he said with a small quirked smile. 'I liked her just before I reached my manhood, but I thought her a bit Hsqui for a properly brought-up young woman. My tutor once said she was primarily read by people who had recently discovered sex and enjoyed it.'

  Julia laughed, a high-pitched laugh of relief. They could talk about poetry for a while, then, when the time was right, she'd try again. 'Lucius always refused to let me read her and he can no longer forbid me.'

  'An act of rebellion?' Valens raised an eyebrow.

  'If you like, but I wanted to be able to make up my own mind about her. I was tired of Lucius's dictates.' Julia shifted uncomfortably. He made it seem as if she only liked Sappho out of spite. She enjoyed the cadence and the rhythm. 'I tried reading her and found that I liked her use of imagery. Have you read any of her work?'

  'You need not look so surprised. I did have a traditional Roman education. To study philosophy properly one must know how to read Greek. My father despaired of my liking for poetry. He felt it frivolous compared to speeches of the great orators and generals. Carthage must be destroyed and all that' His eyes bore into her soul and Julia dropped her gaze. She hardly dare breathe. Might this be the way? 'Is there something wrong with a gladiator who reads?'

  Julia felt her cheeks flush. Anything she said would be misinterpreted.

  'Oh, I see you fell for my physical rather than mental charms.' A dimple showed in the corner of his mouth. He handed her back the scroll with a glint of regret in his eyes. 'You need not be ashamed. It is why most women support the games.'

  'I think perhaps I had best go.' Julia stood up. This was all wrong. Any explanation she gave now would be wrong. How could she explain when he now thought she was like the other women supporters? 'I confused the situation.'

  Valens's hand shot out, keeping her there, imprisoning her in its grasp. She pulled gently and he released her. 'I asked you to stay.'

  'You want to make speeches. You should be in the Senate, not in the arena.' Julia put her hand over her mouth. Why could she never think, then speak?

  'I wanted to discuss your reading with you, and to learn more about you.' His voice was low but firm. 'I thought you wanted more than a pretty face.'

  Julia stared at her hands. Her mind raced. She was making a complete muddle of this. 'Stop distorting what I said. I just had never considered it.' She tilted her head and peeped at him through her lashes. 'You will have to admit, you were not spouting poetry yesterday.'

  He leant forward. His face was far sterner and more serious than she had seen before. 'Are you sure Senator Gracchus recommended Sappho to you?'

  'Gracchus? What does he have to do with…? Oh, you mean the story I told Sabina.' Julia toyed with her bracelets. 'He is my ex-father-in-law, Lucius's adopted father. Sabina is in awe of him. When he decided to adopt Lucius, she could not believe her luck. Senator Gracchus, however, has refused all of her invitations to dine, but she lives in hope and doesn't dare say anything against him. Why?'

  Julia watched his face for any sign, relieved in a way that he had brought up Gracchus. She felt that perhaps she should explain about earlier today and her mistake. Perhaps then he would see that she wanted to help and he'd trust her with the name of his father. His face became inscrutable, a blank slab of marble on which she could read no emotion.

  'He was a man I used to know, and, if you were seeking an alliance with him, I thought to warn you.'

  'Warn me?'

  A humourless smile played on Valens's lips. 'Yes, he despises liars and Sappho. He does not consider her poetry fitting reading for any right-thinking Roman. Let alone a Roman matron.'

  'How do you know this?' Julia rolled the scroll tighter. She hated being caught in a lie. A quiver rose in her stomach. How did Valens know? Her heart beat faster. Maybe she had been correct.

  'I served with his son in North Africa. He, if I remember correctly, had the same fondness as I do for poetry and he also had to battle with his father.'

  'You served with his son?' Julia breathed and her mind raced. Perhaps Senator Gracchu
s would tell her who his son served with. Or there were the military lists. She tried to keep her mind on what he was saying.

  'And you are his ex-daughter-in-law. It is a small world. I hadn't realised your husband was a Gracchi.' His voice was smooth, too smooth. 'I should have paid more attention when Caesar offered me this billet.'

  Julia thought she could hear faint undercurrents, some emotion he wished to keep hidden. She kept her voice steady and held back the questions that threatened to tumble out.

  'Who my ex-husband is has no bearing on me! I want nothing to do with him or his family. In light of the divorce, my father no longer receives any work from Senator Gracchus.' Julia peered more closely at Valens, but no muscles moved in his face. She drew a deep breath and plunged on, before she lost her nerve. 'Can you tell me how Senator Gracchus's son died? You said you were in North Africa, I believe. Were you with him in the assault that led to his death?'

  Valens did not reply. His eyes grew hard as he stared unseeing into the middle distance.

  'He died in a pirate's hold,' he said, biting out each word. 'A death Senator Gracchus would not have approved of. By my hasty actions and uncontrolled temper, I ensured he perished dishonourably.'

  'I thought Gracchus said he died fighting some insurgents,'

  Julia said, confused. 'My ex-suitor Mettalius brought back the brooch. Senator Gracchus showed it to me this afternoon. He said his son had died a hero's death.'

  'No, he died in a pirates' hold. I should know. I was there. Perhaps it was the best thing to do. He saved his father the embarrassment of having to be ransomed.' He gripped her arm and forced her to look at him. His gaze seemed to burn into her soul. 'Was there any special reason you were talking to Senator Gracchus about his son? You said that you wanted nothing to do with the family. Why now? What game are you playing, Julia?'

  Julia stood up and started to pace the garden, hugging her waist with her arms. She had been wrong, oh, so wrong. In the late afternoon heat, she shivered. Who was he that Gaius Gracchus had been punished for things he had done? She had to figure out a way to ask, and get around his defences.