The Gladiator's Honor

by Michelle Styles

  'Julia, Julia, I want to talk to you.' Lucius's querulous voice carried across the courtyard. 'I refuse to be manhandled by this oaf of a porter.'

  Her stomach twisted, knotted and then untwisted. Not here, not now with Valens present. She had no desire to be dragged back into the mire of her marriage. She had escaped from that.

  Julia crossed the courtyard to where her ex-husband stood. She gave a nod and Clodius released Lucius, bowed low and left. Lucius's face was redder than this morning. His toga bore spots of red wine and food stains. Julia felt her arms begin to tremble as she remembered the other times when she had seen Lucius like this and the beatings that had ensued.

  'Julia, is everything all right?' Through a fog, she heard Valens speak.

  She gave a brief nod, but refused to look at him. Lucius had her full attention. Lucius's face wore that special grin he always had, right before he attacked her. Her blood ran cold. This day was becoming a disaster.

  'What do you want, Lucius?' she asked, her voice sounding more forthright than she thought possible.

  'I want to speak to you about your sneaking little ways, your unasked-for visits to my father. You are trying to make trouble.'

  'You're drunk.' Julia looked him directly in his eyes. 'I refuse to speak with you when you are in this state. We have nothing to say to each other.'

  Lucius straightened his toga, swayed, repositioned his feet and swayed some more.

  'I am perfectly sober,' he spat. 'I want to know why you went to see my adopted father and tried to spread your poisonous lies. Stirring up long ago happenings, Julia. Gaius Gracchus is dead. I had nothing to do with his murder.'

  'I beg your pardon?' Julia toyed with her necklace as her courage started to desert her. She had not expected this full-frontal assault. Lucius was usually more content with verbal barbs. She felt the brush of a tunic and knew without looking that Valens stood behind her. A small glimmer of hope filled her. She had support.

  'Don't play the mealy-mouthed innocent with me, Julia Antonia.' Lucius positioned himself as if he was preparing for a fight, hands balled at his sides. 'You went to see Gracchus deliberately to undermine me. I want to know who sent you and why. Parroting tales of long-dead sons indeed. As if I had anything to do with Gaius Gracchus's death! I was in Rome, when Gaius Gracchus breathed his last, ask anyone. We had not met in years, since we were children. Ask Mettalius Scipio. He was the one who found the brooch when he stumbled on the mutilated body.'

  'I never said anything…'

  'You implied it, you implied that there was something untoward. I will not have it, Julia. Show me the proof first.' He took a step towards her. His hand quivered, upraised.

  Julia wanted to shrink down to the stones, but forced her back to stay upright. What had she done?

  'Is there some sort of difficulty, Julia?' Valens's low voice rumbled.

  'My wife and I were having an amicable discussion,' Lucius replied. 'She is in no need of…protection.'

  'Your ex-wife,' Julia corrected. She drew a deep breath. She could do this. Lucius would not dare hit her here, not while there were witnesses. 'Stay, Valens. Anything Lucius has to say, he can say in front of you.'

  'Since when do you need protection from me, Julia?'

  Julia stared at the ground and longed for the courage to say the words detailing her injuries. But she found it impossible to speak. A rushing noise filled her ears. She closed her eyes, hoping that the nightmare would go away.

  'Since you started threatening and intimidating her,' came Valens's firm answer.

  'What do you know about it…Gladiator?' His eyes raked Valens up and down, but Julia fancied Lucius seemed less sure. Almost as if he had seen a ghost.

  'I know enough. You are divorced and therefore have no rights over this woman.'

  'She only understands one thing, Gladiator. And she appears to have forgotten her lesson.' Lucius raised his hand a second time.

  'I think you had better go now.' Valens caught Lucius's wrist and forced his hand away from Julia.

  'How dare you! I can behave how I like towards my wife.' Lucius aimed a blow at Valens's midriff.

  In a blur, Valens had Lucius's arms pinned behind his back and Lucius screamed like a stuck pig.

  'She is no longer your wife. You have no right to touch her.' Valens looked as if he might strike him. Then he seemed to think better of it and let him go.

  Lucius staggered back a step. He rubbed his wrist.

  'We'll meet again, Gladiator,' he said with a curling lip. 'Julia, remember what I said—no more visits to Gracchus or I will make your life akin to Hades, protector or no.'

  Julia watched as Lucius staggered out of the courtyard. She closed her eyes and wished she had restrained her impulses this morning. Now Valens had witnessed the full sordidness of her life, had seen what a coward she was.

  'Julia.'

  She became aware that Valens was calling her and had called her several times. She turned towards him. The tenderness in his eyes shone out at her. She longed to stumble a few steps and lay her head against his chest. She wanted to feel his strong arms about her. But that was impossible here in the open courtyard. The only thing she could do was to stare and draw strength from his eyes.

  She brushed an errant lock of hair back from her forehead.

  'I am sorry about that little display, Valens. My ex-husband is…well…not right in the head.'

  'He seemed to blame you for some mishap.' There was a questioning expression in his eyes.

  'I went to see my ex-father-in-law about some other matter— about Bato, if you must know—and Lucius leapt to the wrong conclusion.' Julia pressed her hands together. There was no need to confide her mistaken ideas. It could only inflame the situation. She wanted to forget that. It seemed so…so misguided somehow. 'I never accused him of killing Gracchus's son.'

  She felt Valens's eyes on her, piercing her, and shifted.

  'Have you told your father about Lucius's behaviour?'

  Julia released a deep breath.

  'I will,' she answered.

  'You must do—I may not always be around to protect you.'

  Julia nodded. A stab of pain coursed through her heart as she stared at his implacable face. She knew he was only acknowledging the truth. Their affair was finite. It would end. She had no desire for it to end or to think of the ending, but he obviously had.

  'I will do.'

  'Julia, you are shaking. If you would like, I'll give your excuses to Sabina and your father. You mustn't let him upset you like this.'

  She took the coward's way and nodded. It was much easier to let him think her trembling was down to Lucius than to losing him.

  'If you would be so kind…1 think I shall retire to my room. Perhaps you could ask one of the servants to bring up a cup of mint tea.'

  Chapter Twelve

  The sound of silence filled the corridor. Valens hesitated, looking at the solid door that separated him from Julia. His natural inclination would be fling open the door and demand to know if she had recovered. But after witnessing her white-faced reaction to Lucius, he had no wish to frighten her further. He rapped his knuckles softly against the wood and waited.

  At Julia's muffled reply, he pushed the door open.

  Julia lay on the bed, her eyes covered by a cloth.

  'Put the tea on my dressing table, please.' She waved her hand.

  Valens closed the door with a click before he set the tray down.

  'Shall I pour you some tea or would you rather do it yourself?' he asked, watching the rise and fall of her chest.

  'Valens?' Julia sat bolt upright, the cloth falling from her eyes. Her cheeks took on a rosy hue. 'I thought it was the servant with the tea.'

  Her voice trailed away. Her dark eyes looked gigantic in her ashen face. His insides twisted. The rivulets of memory he had managed to stem earlier had swollen and crashed through the barriers of his mind. It would be easy to lose his temper and go after that misbegotten man Lucius Gracch
us, demanding old wrongs be righted. But Strabo had taught him control and patience. He would make sure Lucius suffered for what he had done, but first he had to fulfill his obligations to the arena.

  One enemy at a time.

  'Are you hurt?'

  'You stopped him.' Her voice held a note of wonder. 'I prepared my body for the blow and you stopped it.'

  How could anyone raise his hand against her? Valens resisted the temptation to pull her into his arms and kiss the shadows away. Since this morning's practice with Tigris, Valens had been trying to convince himself that what had happened yesterday evening was a unique event. The attraction to Julia would have faded as it did with all the rest.

  In this room together, he felt his desire for her rise higher with each passing breath he took. He thought himself only concerned for her safety, but he knew, looking at her tousled hair and heightened cheek colour, he felt something more for this woman. Feelings he thought he would never feel for any woman. Her vulnerability terrified him because the need to keep her safe seemed to dominate his thoughts, loosening the arena's hold from his mind. He raked his hand through his hair as her reddened lips caught his attention.

  'Lucius always upsets me. I should know what to expect by now.' She gave a feeble laugh and half a shrug. 'Old habits die hard. Please don't say anything to anyone. It will only cause upset.'

  Valens reached out and brushed her cheek with his hand.

  To his relief, she sat there, unflinching. A faint smile flickered at the corner of her lips before dying.

  'I've spoken with your father. I explained about Lucius's unprovoked attack,' he explained as gently as possible. Having seen Lucius's anger and her reaction, it became his duty to tell her father.

  Her eyes looked even more terrified. Valens cursed the hold her ex-husband had over her and longed to draw her into his arms. Patience, he needed patience.

  Myriad emotions flitted across Julia's face—surprise, anger and fear, but mostly fear. 'Why? Why did you that? I told you those things in confidence. You had no right to do that.'

  'Because you deserve some measure of protection. He had to know about Lucius Gracchus's threats. If not for your sake, for the rest of your family's. A senator's anger can have many repercussions. Your father knows that. He appreciated the news.'

  Valens placed his hand on her shoulder, seeking to calm her. He could see the rapid beating of her heart in her throat's hollow.

  'Did you tell him everything?' she asked in a small voice. She flinched away from his hand. Her face became as white as newly made toga, and her dark eyes seemed to swallow her face.

  'I told him what he needed to know—that Lucius had threatened you and his manner appeared to be verging on lunacy this afternoon,' he said soothingly. 'The porter would have told him in any case.'

  She pushed a lock of hair back. A patch of colour returned to her cheeks and her breathing seemed easier.

  'I suppose you are right. Clodius does tell my father everything. My father trusts him, even though he is getting on in his years.'

  "There is no suppose about it. You are no longer Lucius Gracchus's wife. An attack on you is an attack on your family. Your father should know his enemies. It is your father's duty to protect you.'

  'What did my father say?' she whispered, twisting a tendril of hair around her finger.

  Valens stared at the narrow slit of a window and wondered how best to describe Julius Antonius's explosion. Julia's shoulders were beginning to ease, and the pinched look about her mouth.

  'He has given strict instructions to the porter and the other servants that they are to refuse entry to him. They will look after you, Julia, if you stay within the house and its gardens.'

  Julia's eyes drank in Valens's features. The concern on his brow. She looked at his huge arm muscles and thought of how they wielded a sword and yet had gently held her last night. She released a long breath and gave into her desire to rest her head. His arms came around and held her tight. The wool of his tunic felt rough against her cheek. The thump of his heart echoed hers. She allowed her hurt and anger to drain away. Nothing much mattered except Valens had taken her in his arms. He wanted to help her.

  'It is such a new thing to have anyone care enough about me to want to help,' she said, trying to explain the turmoil inside her. She looked into his eyes, trying to assess his mood, trying to discover why he was there. 'Thank you.'

  She lifted her hand to his cheek. He turned his head slightly and his lips brushed her palm.

  'I want to make sure you are safe, that no harm comes to you.' The rich timbre of his voice held her and caressed her senses. 'I am a guest in your house.'

  Her heart dropped a bit. Was it only because his obligations as a guest? She'd worry about it later. Right now, all she knew was that she wanted the feel of his lips against hers. She needed to feel that what they had shared last night had not been destroyed by Lucius. She had worried that the disgust she had seen earlier in Valens's eyes was for her.

  'I can look after myself,' she whispered and her hand touched his hair. She ran her fingers through the silky strands, burying them deep, and pulled his face nearer to hers. 'I survived three and a half years of marriage to Lucius.'

  'You are married no longer.' His voice rasped in her ear. 'Sometimes you need help.'

  He pushed the material off her shoulder and traced the faint scars of Lucius's beatings with a finger. Where they had once ached with pain, they now ached with another sensation, a burning that made her body press closer towards him.

  As her body arched, she encountered the hard unyieldingness of his chest. A tremor ran from the pit of her stomach to the ends of her fingers as her body remembered the passion they had shared yesterday. As if he could read her mind, he bent his head and softly touched her mouth with his—a butterfly kiss. She opened her mouth and allowed him to explore, his tongue entering to tease and torment.

  She felt her nipples harden as they strained against their bindings. Hot and swollen. His lips started to trail down her neck. She tried to drag her mind away from the vortex of sensation that promised to engulf her. She brought her hands up to his chest to hold him off. She had to be sensible. She had to think of more than the immediate warmth in her belly. 'My father will be expecting me.'

  Valens's lips curved upwards. 'Gone out. He and Sabina have a dinner engagement. We decided it might be a bit much for you. He will speak to you in the morning. The servants will be in the kitchen should you call for your tray.'

  Julia nodded, hated the thought of another deciding how her life should be ordered, but she refused to quarrel with the result. 'You decided?'

  In answer, his hands cupped her breasts while his thumbs made small circles over her nipples until they tightened to small points of exquisite sensation. Her spine arched and he eased her backwards until her head encountered the soft yielding of the bed.

  'I rather thought this would be easier for you.' His eyes were dark with passion. 'Julia, I want to be with you. I want to chisel away all traces of that man in your mind.'

  He undid the discs holding her gown and pushed the material down to her waist. His fingers moved aside the strips of cloths to release her breasts. As each nipple was freed, his lips captured its peak, suckling. His tongue drew small circles, teasing the nipple to a tighter and tighter point, sending wave after wave of sensation through her body, making her writhe and wriggle as each new wave hit. 'Valens…'

  Valens raised himself on his elbows. His darkened eyes met hers. Her body shivered in response to the depths of promise she saw there. He smoothed a tendril of hair away from her forehead. 'I'm seducing you, showing you what it should be like between a man and a woman, so you know and understand what pleasure truly is.'

  This time the word pleasure evoked anticipation rather than fear. Her body trembled as she remembered the sensations of the evening before. 'I believe that could be arranged. There is a soft bed here, and, as you say…no one will disturb us.'

  'We are of one min
d,' Valens said as relief swept through him. Until he heard the invitation in her voice, he had been unaware how much it meant to him that her passion equal his. He wanted to lock away her memories of Lucius as surely as he had locked his own memories away. He wanted her to realise it was the present that mattered, not the chains of the past.

  He ran a hand down her bare arm, drawing lines on her flesh, lines that his tongue followed. Her hands captured his face and brought his lips back to hers.

  A surge of excitement ran through him as her tongue boldly entered his mouth. She wanted his touch.

  Valens kept his own passion in check. Despite his body's urging, he wanted to go slowly and bring her to the heights of ecstasy before he indulged in his fulfillment.

  He gave a wholly male laugh before his mouth slid down her body, following the path of his fingers. Her hands gripped his shoulders and plucked at the hem of his tunic.

  'Please let me see you,' she whispered. 'I must see you.'

  His mouth paused in its search. He lifted his head from her belly.

  'As my lady requests…' With one movement, he divested himself of clothes, his body and his desire displayed for her. 'You see what you do to me.'

  She ran a trembling hand down his chest and stomach until she reached his soft hardness. He groaned in the back of his throat as the need to possess her threatened to overwhelm him. He'd sworn that he'd hold back, that their coupling would mean as much to her as to him. But she only had to touch him and his seed was threatening to spill.

  'Julia, you will unman me,' he rasped as her fingers curled round and the heat of him infused her fingers. 'Shall I show you what you are doing to me?'

  'The same as you are doing to me.'

  She wanted him. Her body was made new for him. He felt more powerful than he had ever felt in the ring and more vulnerable as well. This woman was doing things to his insides that he had never dreamed possible. Valens stroked both his hands down the length of her body and then up again until they reached the apex of her thighs. His fingers hovered, tantalisingly close, but not touching her curls. Her body bucked upwards. She gasped as they touched, tangled and tormented, sliding between her thighs and out again, softly stroking her until he could see her start to reach the crest of her desire.