Always There

by Tiara Inserto

  “Are you serious? I’m in the car with a crazy woman. Connor married a lunatic.”

  When they reached the house, Mitch asked Cat to take Jayne in while he phoned Liana.

  “Is everything all right, Mitch?” Liana asked. She had picked up the call after the first ring.

  “I didn’t catch you at a bad time?”

  “No, but you never call at this time. Is Jayne okay?”

  “Yes, but I’ve been cornered by Cat about why you’re already in Auckland.”

  “I had a feeling she would be the first to ask.”

  “They don’t need to know.”

  “No, but they can know. Connor’s your best friend.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “It’s fine, Mitch. You trust them, don’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “I do, too.”

  Half an hour later, after giving Fred and Jayne their snacks, the adults seated themselves at the kitchen counter, and Mitch shared with Cat and Connor the reason behind Liana’s departure for Auckland.

  “I saw her every week,” Cat whispered. “I would never have guessed. She acted as she always has.”

  Connor asked most of the questions. Some of them reflected his knowledge of depression. When he learned it was Chris Spurgeon with whom Liana was consulting, he looked visibly relieved.

  “He’s good. Jay really trusted him. And you know what that means.”

  Mitch nodded. “That’s what Kelly said. She was with Liana when Liana went for her first session with him.”

  “That’s good. Spurgeon kept in touch with Jay even after their sessions ended. I think Liana will work well with him. She’ll trust him.”

  Mitch sighed. “I hope so.”

  “How long will she be meeting with this... Dr. Spurgeon?” Cat asked.

  “She met him every other day in the first two weeks. She’s now meeting him twice a week,” Mitch said. He took a deep breath and faced the couple in front of him. “I want to be there with her. It’s killing me inside that I’m not, but we agreed that I need to be here for Jayne.”

  Cat reached over the countertop to cover Mitch’s hand. “How can we help? You’re not in this alone.”

  “I don’t know. We’re keeping this quiet for now, obviously.”

  “Of course,” Cat said. “But, listen, you need to make sure you get out of the house as well. It’ll do neither you nor Jayne any good if you stay at home all the time. Come over for dinner sometime. Fred adores Jayne. And when Connor is away, I usually host something for all the wives. You can come to those as well. Now that I think of it, you’re actually one of us sports-widows!”

  Mitch smiled, grateful he had Connor and Cat in his life.

  “May I call in on Liana when I’m in Auckland?” Connor asked. “If she’s up to it, of course.”

  Mitch nodded. “You have her number. I’ll let her know tonight we’ve talked.”

  Connor met Mitch’s gaze. “I’ll check in on her. She’ll be fine. She’s a fighter. We’re here for you both.”

  * * *

  As captain, Connor arrived in Auckland a few days earlier than the rest of the National Team. Usually, he used that time to catch up with the notes and feedback from pre-training meetings. But on his first night back, his only thought was to see Liana again.

  Connor had a front-row seat with his own mother’s struggles with a bipolar disorder, so he understood the complexities that came with loving someone who suffered from it. And there was his life with Jay. There was never anything he could do to relieve the pain in his friend’s eyes. Nothing.

  When he reached the lobby doors of the Meriton, Connor took a deep breath. Liana was expecting him, but he wasn’t sure what he was going to face. He was suddenly afraid. He didn’t want to see the same loneliness that was always present in Jay’s eyes, even when Jay was with the people he loved most.

  He had brought dinner. Takeout, he apologized. As they ate, he cautiously asked the questions he couldn’t ask Mitch.

  Liana tried to answer them all. She was working hard every day to understand her feelings and to gauge when they were more than she could handle. Chris had given her a plan. She could work with something concrete: breathing exercises, mental exercises, journaling. She was starting to swim to the surface.

  “How’s Mitch?” Liana asked as she poured them both some tea.

  “He’s making a go at it, in true Mitch Molloy fashion. Now, knowing why he’s doing what he’s doing, I’ve never admired him more. But I tell you what, Liana, your daughter has her father wrapped around her little fingers. He’s totally in love with her.”

  Liana smiled widely. “I knew he was a goner when he first laid eyes on her.”

  “He misses you.”

  “I know. I miss him too.” She looked at Connor. “I want to be with him, but I can’t. Not yet. I know I’m taking the biggest risk of my life by choosing to be away from him right now.”

  Connor leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. “He’s not going anywhere, Liana. Mitch has waited for you his whole life. Once he holds onto something, he doesn’t let go. That’s just who he is. He loves you.”

  Liana knew that, but hearing Connor express it brought home how much her husband was doing for her just because...

  He loves me.

  A few days later, after her session with Chris, Liana took a taxi to the airport.

  He loves me.

  She didn’t think twice about buying the ticket home and boarded the plane with nothing more than her handbag. She was ready to see Mitch again, to be in his arms, to talk. She was also desperate to touch her baby again. She needed to feel Jayne’s skin, to let her know that her mother loved her, even when she wasn’t there.

  She entered the house quietly. She heard Mitch’s even breathing before she saw him on the sofa, fast asleep with Jayne lying comfortably on him. She tried to take Jayne off him, but Mitch continued to hold on.

  “Mitch? Darling? You fell asleep with Jayne,” Liana whispered as she stroked Mitch’s forehead.

  His eyes opened, and he stretched slowly. He returned her smile then he blinked. Suddenly alert, he reached for her hand quickly. He groaned. “You are here.”

  “I needed to come home for a while.”

  Mitch drew her hand to his lips. “I’m glad.”

  Liana held Mitch through the night. Her arm reached over as far as she could until her palm rested over his heart. His hand covered hers. She kept her head against his body, reacquainting herself with the uneven planes of a still well-muscled back.

  She slept through the night for the first time in months.

  The next morning, Mitch canceled all his appointments. While he was on the phone, Liana spent time with Jayne. She had prepared herself for the possibility that her daughter may not recognize her after a month away, but Jayne didn’t show any hesitancy at reaching for her when Liana walked into the nursery.

  When Mrs. Wong arrived, Mitch packed a chilly bin and drove them both to the same beach where he’d first brought up the idea of marriage. At first, all they did was enjoy being with one another again. They kept their arms entwined as they watched the sea. Slowly, they began to talk.

  Liana led the conversation. After months of silence, she let Mitch back into her world, a world that had been so confusing. She spoke of her inadequacies as a mother. She knew they might seem irrational, but the feelings were real and powerful. Chris was helping her accept that those fears were part of her life.

  “I’ve spent half my life creating a reputation of never running away from a challenge. Now I feel like such a hypocrite because I’m scared all the time,” Liana said. She buried her hands in the sand. When she lifted them up slowly, the fine white grains fell back to the ground effortlessly.

  “What is it they say? Bravery is still doing something even though you’re afraid,” Mitch said. “Baby girl, you are waking up every day to face your fears. Many people would just hide from them and pretend they don’t exist. I think you a
re who you’ve always been.”

  Liana made love to her husband that night. She wanted him as close to her as possible, to show her commitment to their love and their future. He responded tenderly; every caress, every kiss were silent affirmations of his support. She left for Auckland the next day, aware that her road to recovery was still long and tedious. Mitch insisted that he and Jayne would drop her off at the airport—“At the curb, as usual,” he had teased—and when she turned for a final wave, he nodded his encouragement from the confines of his car.

  * * *

  Liana’s visit to Christchurch was a turning point. Mitch and Jayne would now fly up to Auckland every other week. On alternate weeks, Liana would fly down to Christchurch. While far from ideal, this was something Mitch and she were more familiar with.

  They understood how this worked... could work, even with Jayne. While apart, they were somehow strengthening the bonds of their family.

  The next two months saw Liana return to the public eye as the manager of the men’s football team. The team’s loss in Saudi Arabia in her absence raised questions about the suitability of her gender in a sport—and a world—that remained unsympathetic to women entering a male-dominated profession.

  They were at the Molloy Farm for dinner when Felicity questioned Liana’s decision to stay away from Saudi Arabia.

  “What would that achieve?” Liana asked. “A hostile environment would have been made even worse. Being there could have endangered lives. No one would have won that night if I had gone, and we’re not talking about football. You can’t force change from the outside. Real change comes from within. We’re talking about this; it’s being talked about around the world. But most importantly, the Arabs are talking about it.”

  Mitch couldn’t decide which he enjoyed more, the eloquence of Liana’s response or Felicity’s inability to refute the soundness of Liana’s argument.

  What he was less excited about was Liana’s upcoming birthday party. He felt like an errand boy in the days leading up to it. Cat and Moira were heartless taskmasters. So much for being the King of Rugby.

  Liana had vetoed Moira’s binder-plans of a catered dinner by asking to cook with her girlfriends as part of the day’s celebration. Moira and Cat argued that the birthday girl shouldn’t be working that day. They reached a mutually satisfying agreement that Liana could help prep the ingredients, but the meal itself would be made by her friends. Mitch was tasked with shopping for everything.

  “Why do we need place cards, Moira?”

  “It’s elegant.”

  “There’s only eight of us, and we all know each other.”

  “All right... we can forego the place cards. But I’m not giving up on the silver branches for the centerpieces. I’ve sent you links to the shops that carry them.”

  “I’m not driving an extra hour to find tree branches that weren’t meant to be silver, Moira.”

  “I never thought you’d be a whinger, Mitch Molloy.”

  The day Liana turned forty, Mitch woke up to his wife moving quietly out of their bed to change into her running clothes. As if sensing his study of her, she turned and smiled. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “You good?”

  Her eyes lit up.

  “I am today.”

  He trusted those eyes. They’ve never lied to him, and he rested his head back on his pillow. She escaped every morning, whether for a run or to sit by herself in their backyard. The mornings were hers to quiet the mind and check in on her feelings. When she returned, her tea would be ready and he’d have his coffee. Simple. Normal... but moments he’d never take for granted again.

  Their morning routine ended two hours later when Moira, Natasha, and Cat literally barreled into the living room with flowers, balloons, and chocolate.

  “Mitch, the boys will be here just after lunch,” Cat said, as they were about to leave for “a girls-only-brunch” followed by a long list of shops.

  “Mark will drive here on his own. I’m picking up the last of the ingredients for tonight’s dinner directly from the farm. I’ll see you closer to dinner,” Natasha said.

  “Got it: Mark, farm, closer to dinner,” Mitch repeated dutifully. He turned to Moira “Anything I need to know about Guy and Zach?”

  Moira laughed. “No, they’re both good.”

  The Danes arrived first, followed shortly by the Tisdales. The fathers and children were in the backyard when Mitch heard a sports car pull up to the front of the house. The rugby players exchanged looks with one another. But before Mitch could say anything, Mark had found his way to the backyard. He didn’t mince any words.

  “So, is it true? That Liana’s been seeing a therapist?”

  Mitch stood straight up. He placed his hands on his hips as he faced Mark. He saw, for the first time, real anger in those famous blue eyes. Well... well... well...

  “It’s none of your business, Mark,” Mitch said. He cracked his neck, noticing the pulsating vein in Mark’s right temple. He glanced down; Mark’s hands were clenched into fists.

  “It is my damn business, Mitch,” Mark growled. “I’ve been in her life hell of a lot longer than you have. I told you not to hurt her.”

  After three years of knowing the man, Mitch did what he had wanted to do the first time they met: he punched him.

  * * *

  The women pulled up into the house a few seconds after Mitch landed his fist on Mark’s jaw. They entered the house laughing, unsurprised that no one was actually inside. It was too beautiful a day. And it was a perfect day for the barbeque Liana wanted for her birthday.

  “Oh, that would have hurt. He’s doing well for an actor, though.”

  The voice came from the deck outside. What? Liana dropped the bags full of groceries on the dining table. She stared at Moira, a frown forming on the latter’s face, suggesting that she’d heard the same thing.

  Guy’s voice boomed. “He boxes and trains with the best martial arts people for his movies—jujitsu, krav maga—and a bunch of other stuff I can’t pronounce. He’s fit. He does all his own stunts.”

  “Oh! Good one—that landed right in his guts.”

  Liana walked outside. She pushed through Connor and Guy to see her husband and her childhood friend wrestling and punching each other. They rolled on the ground before separating. Mark got up into a boxer’s stance, fists-up, but Mitch avoided the oncoming punch by tackling him low.

  Liana looked deep into the backyard and spotted Zach, Fred, and Jayne watching the fight with interest from the sandbox. They weren’t in any danger, for now. The two men were entangled in each other, punches wildly thrown. They moved haphazardly and crashed into Jayne’s plastic playhouse.

  “Oh!” “Wow!” came the enthusiastic responses from Guy and Connor.

  Liana turned to them quickly, her eyes wide. “Stop them!”

  Guy shook his head. “I’m not getting between those two. I already have a broken arm.” Moira hit him on said arm. “Guy! Do something!” she hissed, but her husband didn’t budge.

  Liana looked at Connor who took a step backward. “We play Australia next weekend. I can’t get injured.” Liana shook her head. Unbelievable!

  She spied the water hose and ran to it. She turned it on as far as she could and proceeded to spray Mitch and Mark in the faces.

  “OW!” “Shit!”

  Liana stopped the hosing, and the two men staggered around to face her. She looked at both of them; blood was coming out of Mark’s nose, and Mitch looked like he’d be sporting a black eye tonight. She didn’t know where to start, or who to start with first. “What on Earth is going on? The children are right there!”

  “Why didn’t you tell me, Liana?” Mark yelled. “You should have told me! He should have told me. I deserve to know if you’re in trouble. I would have been here for you. I’m your best friend!”

  “She doesn’t owe you anything, you pommy bastard, and I’m her best friend now,” Mitch muttered. Mark lunged at him again before the two men fe
lt another blast of water to their faces.

  “Liana!” “Stop!”

  Mark shook the water out of his hair. His eyes flashed as he turned to Guy and Moira. “Did either of you know she’s been seeing a therapist? That she was so depressed she couldn’t take care of Jayne?”

  Mitch hit Mark in the gut, causing the latter to double over. He fell to his knees. Mitch didn’t look sorry. He stood over the grimacing actor and growled, “None. Of. Your. Business, Mark.”

  “Stop it! Both of you!” She went to Mark and pulled him up. “I’m not going to talk to you when you’re still angry. You two get out of my house. Go do something. Cool off. Come back at dinner but not until then, understand?”

  Mark walked past Liana without looking at her, his jaw clenched tight, one arm covering his stomach. Mitch followed slowly behind him but stopped in front of Liana. “According to the prenup you wanted, this is technically MY house.”

  “Go!”

  Mitch took a few steps forward, stopped, and turned around. He pulled Liana against him, kissing her hard before releasing her abruptly. Liana could only stare at her departing husband, stunned. She touched her lips, still numbed by the force of his kiss. She couldn’t help it; she smiled.

  But she wiped that smile quickly when she faced Connor and Guy. “As for you two idiots, you let this happen. Clean up my backyard and fix my daughter’s playhouse. Don’t even think about coming into the house until it’s done.”

  Liana stomped into the house, Moira close behind her. Cat shut the door behind them.

  “Liana Murphy, that was really, really hot! Wow! You had Mark Johnson and Mitch Molloy fighting over you in your backyard, and they were in wet shirts when they left! If I had that on video, I’d make a killing on the internet!”

  Liana shook her head and stared pointedly at Cat. “Really? Here, chop this. Maybe you need a cold shower.”

  Moira walked into the kitchen and rested her arms on the countertop. Her eyes reflected her confusion. “Liana? What’s Mark going on about?”

  Liana sighed. She wiped her hand across her brow wearily. “I was going to tell you all tonight. And I’m still planning on it.”