Halo

by R. C. Stephens

  “I know.” There’s a sadness in my tone that I can’t control. “I tried to tell Thomas he would make a great father. He was scared of being a father, but I don’t think it’s what made him leave. I think his head was messed up from the war and it scared him because he was drinking like his father. I met his father and he was a cruel asshole. I think that’s what made Thomas run. It wasn’t Brandon or the thought of him,” I say, hoping to wash away his guilt.

  “I hope you’re right. I remember some things from Iraq. I think it was one big nightmare.” His brows draw together, creasing his forehead and revealing his own pain. As the hot water beats down on us, he closes his mouth hungrily over mine. I feel the same possessiveness. The same need for him to claim me, maybe help him get rid of the bad memories in his head.

  Our lips tangle while our tongues lash out hungrily, devouring one another. His hands run up my back and he pins me to the wall. I lift my legs and twine them around his waist, gripping him closer.

  His hand leaves my skin and reaches out to a ledge. I follow the motion to see him picking up a condom. He breaks the wrapper with his teeth. “I’ll give you the honor since I have my hands full.” He smirks and passes me the condom. He props me up a little higher and I maneuver the condom over his hard length. When it’s in place he slides into me. Our gazes connect and I see something deep and intense in the dark blue pools before me. Love, adoration, respect. It makes my heart swell.

  Ryder picks up speed and my breathing quickens while little whimpers leave my mouth. My previous anxiety melts away as I think of the fact that Thomas found me. Even in the dark he found me. I close my eyes and feel his words while the rhythm of his movement assaults my senses. “I will always come back to you, Halo, even in the dark I will find you. You are my Halo.” As my insides clench tightly around him I feel myself getting close.

  “You are so beautiful. I love you so much. You are everything to me,” Ryder grits out with a husky growl from the back of his throat. I close my eyes, feeling everything he is to me and this time his orgasm hits at the same time as mine. We both moan and groan, enjoying the high, the love, the ecstasy. I call out his name, “Ryder,” and he groans, “Halo.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Ryder

  The bright city lights shine through our window. “You hungry?” I turn to her—she’s lying on the bed with a white bathrobe on.

  “I’m famished,” she answers. “We definitely worked up an appetite.”

  “We sure did. I’m not finished with you yet. We haven’t had sex on the bed.”

  “True, but you need to feed me and quick.” A lazy grin crosses her face. She looks relaxed and thoroughly fucked. I’m pleased with myself.

  “Here’s the menu. What are you in the mood for?” I pass her the menu and watch her look it over. I still can’t believe she is here with me. Perfect and beautiful Halo.

  “I’ll have a steak and mashed potatoes,” she says, pressing her lips together and passing me the menu.

  “That sounds good. I’ll order the same and I’ll have you for dessert.” I rub her smooth leg peeking out of the robe. I pick up the phone and call the number listed for room service and order our meal. Twenty minutes later it’s delivered and Halo sets everything up on the little dining table we have in our room. This place really is fancy. We sit across from each other, devouring the tender sirloin. When we’re both done we lean back lazily in our chairs.

  “I’m completely stuffed,” Halo says, holding her stomach.

  “You didn’t even finish yours—I did.” I smirk.

  “I need to walk this off,” she suggests.

  “Baby, I have other ways to work off the food.” I smile mischievously to her.

  “I need a few, Ryder. I’m not used to eating red meat. It takes me longer to digest.” She walks across the room and flicks on the TV. The news comes on and of course there’s a broadcast on Afghanistan. She moves quickly to change the channel and I place my hand on hers to stop her.

  “It’s okay. We can’t run from the war, Halo. We don’t know when it will be over. Those soldiers need to be there. They need to protect this side of the world from the ugliness. I do still believe that.” I’ve been watching the news intently so I know what’s going on. Capturing bin Laden is still priority one and I know from what I’ve read in my file, that my team took out one of al-Qaeda’s commanders. It’s weird as hell to know that while I was once in the thick of things over there, now I’m on the sidelines. And I don’t even remember the details of the missions I trained so hard and so long to be a part of.

  “What is it?” she asks, her brows furrowed. She looks cute but worried.

  “Nothing.” I shrug it off.

  “Ryder, if we are in this thing together I need you to be open with me.”

  “Sorry, you’re right. I was just thinking about the war. Wondering about the commitment it takes to serve. The extremes some men go through. Thomas must have felt strongly about serving to put himself in that kind of danger.” I say it as a point really, not so much a question.

  “For Thomas it was a ticket out of his father’s house, but it wasn’t only that. He wanted to be a part of the good guys. He wanted to prove himself to me and to himself.”

  “Well, I think he did that. Stupid jerk almost got himself killed. Now he’s a military hero.” I laugh sardonically. I just don’t identify with Thomas.

  “Yeah,” she sighs and squeezes a pillow tightly to her chest. Her round brown eyes look troubled. I don’t like it.

  “Hey.” I walk over to the bed. “None of that pouting.” I crawl on my knees toward her and lightly drop my body above hers without putting too much weight on her.

  I rub my nose against hers and she smiles brightly.

  “It’s like you have this light around you. I’m addicted to it. I don’t know how it was between us before. I’m pretty damn sure it’s what brought me back to you. I hate to see you sad because I feel like he failed you. I don’t identify but I want to make it right if that makes sense.”

  Her eyes brim with tears and she keeps smiling. “You are making it right. None of it was your fault. We are all victims here.”

  I can’t take being this close to her and not touching her. Her hot breath caresses my lips. I kiss her softly at first. I’m using my arms to prop myself above her as our hips connect. Her robe falls open when she spreads her legs. She looks like a goddess with her creamy white skin, her rosy nipples and her long, slender legs. She’s a priceless piece of art. Her auburn hair wavy, her large brown eyes filled with a vivacious fire. As we kiss, her arms come up around my neck and pull me closer. Again I feel like I can’t get enough. The gentle kissing turns ravenous as she claws at my back and rips off the towel from my waist. My cock hangs between her thighs and I stroke her softly.

  I dip my lips into the crevice of her neck. She smells like fresh spring flowers. I kiss my way down as my fingers tantalize her nipples. They harden beneath my touch and her body pushes into mine seeking the relief that my body promises to give her.

  “Ryder,” she breathes out with a raspy voice.

  I dip my lips further down her neck, stopping to pay her breasts the attention they deserve. Licking, sucking, licking, sucking. My lips move down her slender torso, stopping at her bellybutton as I press soft kisses along her skin, down to the scar left by the C-section incision. I kiss her with all my heart, thinking how perfect she is. How committed she’s been to me and to Thomas and to our son. Then all reason flies out the window when my lips touch her pussy. My body is engulfed in hot flames as my mouth connects with her folds. I suck at first, enjoying the taste of her juices. I lick up to her clit and she writhes beneath me. Her little bundle of nerves is getting ready for an explosion. She’s swollen and moaning, my cock hardens and lengthens with each moan.

  “Oh please, Ryder,” she begs sweetly as her body bucks off the bed. I love that she’s calling me Ryder, that she accepts me for me. That she forgives Thomas. I lick, suck, lick
, suck. She cries out. I can tell she’s so close, but I don’t want her to come. I need her coming around my cock. I rise to my feet and notice a hint of disappointment cross her face, probably because I stopped eating her. I smile then flip her over to her belly. I take a condom out of the box and slide it on in seconds because I need inside her like I need air right now. I hover above her and enter her fast and hard. I smack her behind and she yelps, screaming out another moan.

  “You like that, baby?” I ask, my tone filled with lust. Her moans tell me that she likes it very much and I enjoy watching her this riled up.

  She nods and I’m happy she likes it hard and rough. I smack her behind again and she moans loader. I dip one hand between her legs as I drive into her from behind. She is so wet and swollen and I can feel how close she is.

  “Ryder, I…I’m going to come.”

  “Come for me, baby.” I pick up speed, rubbing her clit as my dick drives into her. She moves her hips up and down, meeting me thrust for thrust, rubbing herself hard and fast on my fingers and then it comes. She detonates, taking off faster, rubbing harder, screaming out my name as the sweetest orgasm racks her body. I come hard and fast, following right behind her, the friction of my fingers dragging out her orgasm longer than before.

  “Fuck, you’re perfect,” I whisper in her ear.

  She’s breathless. I lie next to her as our chests heave from exertion. I gaze into her brown eyes and say, “I love you.” I kiss her, knowing I still have her taste on my lips.

  She kisses me back with her eyes closed. “I love you too,” she responds. It’s the first time. I’ve known how she feels for a while, but I also know that she was scared and unsure and that’s why she was holding back. Hearing those words from her mouth makes me feel like I am finally home. Like she really believes in us. Believes in me.

  We climb up the bed since we were upside down and get under the covers. She shivers and snuggles in close to me. I throw the blankets over us and hold her tight in my arms. Her breathing grows slow and I can tell she must be sleeping. The heat has probably worn her out.

  I close my eyes and drift off to sleep. Content and whole.

  Chapter Thirty

  Halo

  I open my eyes to a darkened room and memories of last night wash over me. The lovemaking was somehow different. I know I have to stop comparing Ryder and Thomas but I can’t separate them in my mind now that I know the truth. They may be the same person but Ryder is a very different version of Thomas. Yes, Thomas liked it a little rough after he came back from the first tour but the sex this time was even rougher than it was in the past. It was different, but good. Maybe even better. I’m guessing the war and his experience changed him in that regard. I’m still hoping he hasn’t been with another woman and found that he liked rough sex better. I try to shake off the ill feeling those thoughts bring.

  I look over to the red light on the alarm clock to see that it’s already nine-thirty a.m. Holy cow! I can’t remember the last time I slept in. That hasn’t happened since Brandon was born. I couldn’t even sleep in when I was pregnant because I was uncomfortable. Thinking of Brandon makes me panic a little. I know it’s a Saturday morning and Jenny and Dave are probably taking it easy, but I still need to see my boy. Ryder’s arms are draped over me and I nudge him a bit. I lean in and kiss his cheek.

  “Hey,” I whisper against his face. “It’s already nine-thirty. We should probably head out soon.”

  He moans a bit and says, “Yeah, sure. I had another messed-up dream and then I couldn’t get back to sleep. I’m exhausted.” His voice is raspy from sleep. My heart dips. I guess old insecurities die hard.

  “I’m sorry.” I run my fingers through his hair.

  “It is what it is. We should go to our boy. First I need to do this.” He pulls me in close to his body. His skin is burning and his cock rubs up against my behind. He dips his fingers between my thighs and I close my eyes, enjoying him, enjoying us.

  “Mmm,” I moan as his finger dips inside me. He spreads the wetness along my clit and I’m all sensation. I feel him guiding his cock inside me. He doesn’t enter me, though. He teases me, rubbing along my wetness and groaning in my ear.

  “I need to get a condom on,” he says hoarsely.

  “Yes,” I breathe out because I am so close.

  He turns to reach for a condom and slides it over his cock.

  “Ride me, baby,” he requests and I straddle him, placing my palms on his chest, over the tattoo that he must have gotten between the time he left me and got injured. I hate that I don’t know anything about that time and that I may never find out. I try to bury those thoughts again as I begin to move, rubbing myself against him in all the right places. He pushes his hips up, causing the friction to grow deeper, harder.

  I close my eyes and my head falls back as ecstasy takes over my body. Within seconds I am screaming out and riding out my orgasm. Ryder stiffens beneath me and groans as his own release hits. Then I fall to the bed, panting and trying to catch my breath.

  After our morning interlude, we shower and get ourselves dressed and I use the hotel blow dryer to blow out my hair since I can’t show up to Jenny’s sporting the thoroughly fucked look. We make our way to the lobby and Ryder heads over to the front desk to check us out while I call Jenny to tell her we are on the way over. When he walks back to me I see an uneasiness on his face. I wonder if something happened with check-out.

  “Everything okay?” I ask.

  “Yeah, let’s go pick up Brandon. I miss him.” He smiles, throwing an arm over my shoulder. We head out and the valet brings us the car. I don’t know if my past has made me paranoid but something about his expression tells me his smile isn’t real. We drive in silence back to Jenny’s house and Ryder rubs his temple repeatedly.

  We pull into Jenny and Dave’s driveway. “Hey, you sure you’re okay?” I ask again, worried that I may be nudging.

  “Yeah, maybe a small headache,” he says in a brush-off way. Then he smiles and we ring the doorbell. Jenny opens the door, holding Brandon in her arms.

  “Hi there, my little man.” My eyes instantly drop to him and I extend my arms to take him. He smiles deliciously back to me. “Thank you so much, Jenny.”

  “You guys should stay,” she says. “It’s still so hot out and Dave said the AC guy isn’t coming to your house until two o’clock.”

  I look back to Ryder to see what he thinks and he shrugs his shoulders. “Fine by me.”

  We both take off our shoes and make our way into the house. We spend the day hanging out with Jenny and Dave. Chatting, having lunch. Ryder seems a little distracted, but I brush it off. At about one-thirty Ryder stands up and says he should go meet the AC guy.

  “There’s no point in you and Brandon coming along,” he says while lacing up his running shoes. “It’s hot out and the house is hot. Let the guy fix it and I’ll come get you guys.”

  “Yeah, sure,” I answer, then I turn my head. “Is that okay Jenny?”

  “Do you even need to ask, Halo?”

  After Ryder leaves, Jenny asks, “Hey, is he okay?” Jenny points to the door as her brows dip together.

  The fact that she has noticed his odd behavior alarms me.

  “I hope so. He’s been weird all morning,” I answer nervously.

  “I’m sure it’s nothing,” Jenny says and I feel like she’s trying to make me worry less. “Did he mention anything?”

  “No, he just said he had another bad dream. It’s been happening for a while now. Why would this be different?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe he’s tired from all the exertion of last night.” She winks knowingly. My gut tells me different. He was light and easy last night. This morning it was as if he was using the sex to clear his mind.

  We walk into the family room and Jenny’s kids are working on an oversized puzzle on the floor. Dave has the weather channel on.

  “Looks like unstable weather,” he says. “There’s a cold front coming through. With al
l this humidity in the air they said there’s a severe thunderstorm risk and they also mentioned increased chances of a tornado.” He looks a little worried, but then Dave is a bit of a worrywart.

  “Really? A tornado in Rogers Park? It’s been like ten years since we had anything here.” I feel even more anxious to get home.

  “You can hang out in our basement, Halo, if you’d like to ride out the storm with us,” Dave offers.

  “Thanks, Dave. I’m a little worried about the guy installing my AC now.” I place Brandon on a mat on the floor. Thank goodness Jenny kept her baby toys. I pull out my cell and text Ryder.

  Me: How’s it going?

  Ryder: The guy is installing now

  Me: There’s a storm coming.

  Ryder: I heard. Should I come get you guys?

  Me: Please

  Ryder: On my way

  I take a peek out the window and the sky has gone dark quickly. The clouds are moving fast. In the distance I see a bolt of lightning and my stomach dips. I’m a wuss when it comes to storms. I take a seat with Brandon on the floor.

  “I’m going to clean upstairs. You should maybe stay until the storm passes,” Jenny says as she walks to the staircase.

  The TV continues to blare with updates about storm warnings and funnel cloud sightings. Rain pounding on the windows jacks up my nerves even more.

  Dave jumps to his feet. “I’m going to get the flashlights and see what supplies we have in storage. This doesn’t look too promising.” His tone is edgy with nerves. “You watching the kids, Halo?”

  “I sure am.” I smile at Sam and she plops herself down in my lap.

  “Auntie Halo, I can sing the alphabet. Do you want to hear?” she asks with her sweet little voice. She just turned three.

  As Sam sings to me, the thunder grows louder and lightning seems to be striking even closer.

  “Sam, sweetheart, give me a minute. I need to make a phone call.” She nods and stops singing. I quickly dial Ryder’s number. The phone rings endlessly. Something doesn’t feel right. He said he was on his way. He should have been here by now. I just got him back. I can’t lose him again. Not again.