Return to Paradise

by Laina Villeneuve

  “Wait, we’re going back out to your place?”

  “I wanted to have everyone out to say thank you for all their help.”

  “Tonight?” I couldn’t hide the disappointment in my voice. I’d imagined the two of us celebrating the bands on our hands in private.

  “I know it’s not the best timing, but Charlie’s here to pick up Ruth, so it has to be tonight.”

  “But no guests.”

  “No guests, and Charlie and Ruth will be heading off tonight. Early morning for Charlie and all.”

  “I didn’t know Ruth was so anxious to go home.”

  “She was starting to think about it. When Charlie said he’d deliver the horn, it made sense for her to head back with him.”

  “When’s Gabe going to be there?”

  “Tonight around five. I thought I might be able to convince you to take a long lunch.”

  “You expect me to come back to the shop and get any sort of work done when you proposition me like that?”

  She shrugged. “That’s for you to decide. Aren’t you glad you own the place?”

  “And Houdini?”

  “I’ll put him in the backyard if you don’t mind.”

  “I don’t. And I’ll close up shop while you get him settled.” Without another thought to the driveshaft or the leak in the transmission, I pulled my shop door down and locked up, grateful there was no one around to see my goofy grin.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Madison

  I loved Gabe’s bear hugs enough to not let myself think about whether Brenna had a problem with how long I held on. Even when I saw her out of uniform, she still carried an air of law enforcement, her black hair pulled back in a severe ponytail, and dark buttoned-down shirt as serious as any uniform. I squeezed Gabe tightly anyway, loving how in his hug I felt like I really belonged. Lacey had always belonged to a clan. Being surrounded by family was a completely new feeling for me, and I reveled in it.

  “It’s nice of you to have us all out,” he said as Brenna shook my hand in a very official manner, looking around as if scoping out trouble. Gabe had already met Ruth, but I took the chance to introduce him to Charlie. Until then, Charlie had been talking stock with Dani. They were by the big picture window, and Charlie’s gestures suggested Dani had him talking about what the place was like back when he managed the cattle ranch. I was a little jealous to see them talking so easily, but I knew that like Lacey, Dani had a knack for getting people to open up.

  Hope and Mrs. Wheeler were already at the kitchen table feeding Joy. With Gabe and Brenna there, we all gathered around my family-style table with rough-hewn planks and benches along each side. My heart felt like it might explode—family and friends pulled together around a summer meal of corn, slaw, potato salad and barbeque chicken. I’d spent so much of my life feeling like I had no one, and here was this huge gathering pulled together at my request. Lacey must’ve read how I was feeling because she reached out and grasped my shoulder.

  I looked over at Charlie who was lost in thought. I’d have given anything to know what he was thinking and his reminiscences. Feeling my eyes on him, he blinked over to me with a huge smile. He picked up his beer and held it aloft. Everyone went quiet, their attention on him.

  “To bein’ home.”

  Everyone echoed his toast. My throat was too constricted to give voice to what I felt in my heart. We clinked glasses to bottles, cheer all around.

  “It’s somethin’, innit? When you find the spot that makes your heart sing?” Dani said.

  “Or the person,” Hope said.

  Ruth bowed her head, and my heart ached for Bo’s absence.

  “So y’all made it official? You gonna share the story, or are you keeping it secret?” Dani gestured at Lacey’s left hand.

  Lacey and I both displayed our rings, and everyone raised their glasses again. Ruth beamed as I shared the history of my ring and puzzled over whatever it was Lacey had shoved on her finger arguing that I didn’t have to go ring shopping anytime soon.

  “Are you two ever going to talk about rings?” Dani ribbed Gabe.

  “Believe me, I’ve tried,” Gabe said. “She’s still not sure.”

  “How long have the two of you been together?” Ruth asked.

  “Two years…” Gabe said. “Maybe eight months,” said Brenna at the same time.

  “Two years? How in the world.” We watched her search back. “That would take us back to…?”

  “When you gave me that ticket when I was hauling ass outta town on my way to Reno.”

  “I’d hardly call that our first date.” Brenna sounded exasperated.

  “I knew. Why do you think I fought the ticket in court? Guaranteed second date,” Gabe said with confidence.

  “I don’t know that arguing your guilt can be considered a date.”

  “That wasn’t the point. The point was for you to get to see me all cleaned up in my tie.”

  She rolled her eyes, but the edge of her lip held a smile. Her voice had a gentler tone. “I can’t think of a thing I’ve done to encourage this.”

  Dani said, “Gabe you remind me of a story I read way back about a boy who straight out had to have this wild horse and chased it day after day after day until that horse gave up and accepted him.”

  “I’m the horse in this story, I gather,” Brenna said.

  “Exactly,” Gabe said. “And now that you’ve accepted that I’m not going anywhere, you agree to get hitched.”

  “So now we’re both horses. Pulling a wagon,” Brenna deadpanned.

  “Believe me, being the horse is a huge compliment. I hear all day long about how horses aren’t the problem,” Hope said with a smile on her face.

  “It’s the humans,” Dani inserted. “Every damn time.”

  Hope cleared her throat and pointedly looked at Joy who sat happily playing with the remains of her meal. “Language.”

  “Every stinkin’ time,” Dani revised. “Horses listen to instinct. Humans fight it.”

  I thought about how Lacey fought Fate while I embraced it. It didn’t feel like the time to nudge her about that, but I smiled and took her hand. The way she smiled back made me think she already knew.

  I enjoyed my friends so much that night that it was tough to say goodbye. Of all the work I’d done and success with my guests, this gathering had been my best moment. I understood when Hope looked at her watch and then at Dani that they had to leave, and their gathering kid stuff was the domino that tripped the others to look for keys and also make their way to the door.

  Hope and Dani were securing their passengers, young and old, in the back of Hope’s car when another set of headlights swung into my drive. Lacey looked at me questioningly, but I was as puzzled as she. The maroon Nova provided the answer.

  She took in the group as she stepped out of the car. Night had already chased the last light from the property, but the porch light spilled wide and invitingly in contrast to Shawneen’s anger as she slammed the door and stalked to the porch. I watched her take in the crowd, especially when her eyes landed on Charlie. She stopped and inhaled so deeply I could see her chest expand.

  Her emotions battled each other but she quickly shoved aside all but her rage. “How dare you file a restraining order against Hagen?”

  “He damaged my property twice, Shawneen. I didn’t want to wait around and see what would happen a third time.”

  “You know that’s just heartbreak speaking. There’s no need to put something on his record.”

  “They wouldn’t let me file one against you, but now maybe the judge would reconsider.” I glanced at Brenna and was relieved to see her nod in agreement. Her wide-set shoulders reminded me to stand tall when Shawneen spoke again.

  “Me? Why the hell would you file a restraining order after you went to all the trouble to find me after all these years?”

  “I was looking for home, Shawneen, not you. I found everything I need, and I think you should go.”

  “Me? You’re
the one who should go. You and your filthy friends who parade around like they’re God’s gift. I don’t know what the college was thinking hiring the likes of you,” she spat at Dani before shifting her attention to Hope. “And your mother’d turn in her grave if she knew that you carried that bastard child.”

  I stood horrified, trying to find a way to rewind and get Shawneen off my property before she could continue her insults. Chancing a look at Hope, I was surprised to see her face sympathetically neutral. “You obviously didn’t know my mother. And it looks like you don’t know Madison either, which makes me sad for you.” Looking to me, she effectively dismissed Shawneen. “Do you need us to stay?”

  They were going? For a moment I wanted to say yes, that I needed all of my friends to face this foe. But then I realized that in staying they only gave her more fuel. “No.” I walked down the stairs of the porch to deliver an extra hug to Hope and Dani. After they left, Ruth came down behind me, Charlie following with her bag which he tied in the corner of his truck.

  Ruth hugged me long and hard. “Thank you for sharing your home and your friends.” She must have seen the tears I didn’t want to spill in front of Shawneen, because she tenderly patted my cheek with her palm before hugging Lacey as well. At first it looked like she was going to walk around to the passenger side, but instead she turned to address Shawneen. “I’m sorry life hasn’t handed you what you think you deserve, but you’ll have more luck if you start with yourself.”

  “Who the hell are you to talk? You know that man is married to me?”

  Charlie shot back, “Only because it was the only way to keep Madison away from you. You know the court would never’ve given her to me, and you would have only kept her to hurt me.”

  “I would’ve at least raised her right.”

  “She seems more’n all right to me,” Charlie said.

  “You know she’s having sex with that woman.” Shawneen pointed at Lacey.

  Lacey put her arm around me, which made Shawneen twitch.

  Charlie looked from me to Lacey, and for a moment, I could see that Shawneen thought she’d pierced him. That was before Charlie threw back his head and guffawed. I’d never heard such a loud sound exit his wiry frame. He placed his hand over his mouth as if he’d surprised himself. “I certainly hope so.” He shook his head and put one hand on my shoulder and one on Lacey’s. Lacey took her arm away, and Charlie awkwardly wrapped his arms around me flooding me with the memory of being carried by him. When would he have carried me? Had he carried me when we lived in the East Quincy place? He whispered, “proud of you” and released me to walk to the driver’s side of his truck.

  “You are not leaving. You don’t get to leave again,” Shawneen hissed.

  “Long drive and an early morning,” he replied, tipping his hat in her general direction.

  Because he’d turned a bit to address her, when she rushed him, her hands hit his chest and he stumbled backward until his back hit the truck. I heard the oomph of air leaving his lungs. His arms shot up away from Shawneen as she continued to beat her arms against his chest. He did nothing to stop the blows. Brenna quickly intervened to restrain Shawneen.

  “That’s enough. Unless you want to take a ride with me and spend the night at the station. Time to go home.”

  “I’m not leaving. You leave.” She lurched toward Charlie again. “You obviously know how. Leave and take her with you again without a thought about me.”

  Charlie swallowed a few times before replying. His voice came out as a growl. “I thought about you plenty. Thought no mother in her right mind hurts her child. Thought about how you threatened to tell the judge it was me even though I never raised a hand to my girl. Thought the only good thing that ever came outta you was Madison. Maybe that’s why you hated her so much.”

  I felt sucker punched, and Charlie’s eyes held apology when they met mine. He’d never told me. When I looked at Ruth, I knew his words were true and that she’d known. She took a few steps and took my hand. There would have been a time when knowing Shawneen had hit me would have set me into a spiral. I felt Ruth’s hand warm in mine and saw how lucky I was to have been raised with her love and kindness. Whatever Shawneen’s problems, they didn’t concern me.

  “You never loved me. The only reason you married me was because of her. I never asked to be a mother, and I got all the crap. All the dirty diapers, all the barf and screaming. Then you’d come home, and she was all sunshine and roses. She never wanted me. Should’ve never happened. Shouldn’t have let you talk me into letting her take over my body.”

  “Thought she’d take over your heart.” Charlie’s voice was quiet.

  What would it have been like to grow up with them? All those times I’d imagined us in Quincy together as a family. They would have fought like this. I’d have grown up with insults hurled at each other, with her hurling insults at me.

  “She certainly took over mine. Mine and Bo’s both.” Ruth smiled with joy and sadness, and I suddenly missed Bo fiercely.

  “I don’t need you, Shawneen. I don’t need a thing from you. You can’t hurt me anymore,” I said, my voice strong and sure.

  Brenna released her arms, and Shawneen dramatically smoothed down her shirt, pumping up her pride. “You’ll regret this…”

  Brenna stepped closer again capturing her attention. Like I said, she didn’t need her uniform to be intimidating. “I’d be real careful about what words left my mouth,” she said.

  Without another word, she returned to her Nova, slamming its tan door. I expected her to tear out of the yard and down the hill, but she didn’t. Ever so slowly, she backed up and turned around. We all stood silently until her taillights disappeared into the night.

  “You’ll be okay here?” Ruth asked.

  “Yes,” I said honestly. I appreciated the offer, but all I wanted was to be alone with Lacey. Brenna said she’d be letting the officers on shift know what had happened, but I sensed we’d be fine.

  “You okay?” Lacey asked, taking my arm as we walked back to the house.

  “More than. Apart from Shawneen, that was the best night ever. I want to have more big dinners. I want to invite everyone out—your whole family. Can we do that?”

  “Of course we can. But right now, I’m so happy to have you to myself again.”

  I was glad I’d spent the afternoon in Lacey’s bed when we climbed into mine together. I’d come down from the adrenaline rush of confronting Shawneen, but it left me wrung out. I didn’t have anything to give Lacey. She pushed my shoulder, so she could spoon in behind me. Though I complied, I tipped my head back. “Is this an okay way to spend the night?”

  “Of course. I couldn’t be happier.”

  I drew her arm around my middle and thought of all I’d found in Quincy.

  “What are you thinking?” She traced my hip with her wonderful fingers.

  “That when I came to Quincy, I never expected to find a place where I fit. But I have. Not just here.” I wiggled my tush into her hips. “Even though Charlie and Ruth went home tonight, I still feel like I found my spot.”

  “You’re not worried about Shawneen?”

  “Nope.”

  Her hand stilled.

  “Well, I am worried she’ll use your emotional attachment to that old car to manipulate you.” She punched me lightly. “I mean it. Either let that car go or buy it from her if you care that much. You’re not working on it for her anymore.”

  “Got it boss.” She buried her head in my shoulders waiting for me to really answer her question.

  “It’s a lot to take in, all the stuff that Charlie never told me. But…I think we’re getting to a place we’ll be able to talk about it. It was so weird to see him here tonight. He was different, more like the dad I always wanted him to be. All those years I looked over at the trailer from my room, afraid of how quiet he was. I thought I didn’t have any parents. I hated trying to explain to people who Ruth and Bo were, who the quiet cowboy in the corner was. Now I realize t
hat I could have answered that I had three parents.”

  “Love does that.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “Makes a family. There are so many different shapes, and if your family doesn’t fit the picture, there’s that fear that people won’t understand. Joy is sure to face that when kids start asking her about her moms. You can help her explain that it doesn’t matter what your family looks like as long as the people in that family love you.”

  “I wish someone had explained that to me when I was five.”

  “Me too,” she said. I was glad she didn’t add that I shouldn’t have worried so much or should let it go now. She held on to me, and that was all I needed.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Madison

  It would be so satisfying to say that when Shawneen left Hot Rocks that night, we watched the taillights disappear for the last time. But with her working down the street from the shop, we saw that Nova all the time. Occasionally we’d see her at the grocery, but she ignored us, and we did the same. You’d be surprised how little you can see of a person in a town as small as Quincy.

  That didn’t mean I gained much mental real estate—she still took up plenty of my brain space. Like the night a few weeks after my dinner party when I decided to surprise Lacey and take her out to dinner. She was finishing up her billing when I got there, a task I knew better than to interrupt, so I sat down on the porch with the current biography I was reading.

  Across the street, Shawneen pulled into the restaurant parking lot. Though my head was inclined toward the book, I could see her clearly. She walked toward the building at a fast clip, only glancing at Rainbow Auto as she opened the door. Since she paused, I looked up. I couldn’t read her expression as far away as she was, but I waved. As if trying to dodge a spell, she disappeared through the door.

  My mind no longer on my book, I wondered what Lacey would say if I asked to walk across the street for dinner. I did love their broccoli and beef. But I knew what would happen if Shawneen were to serve us. I leaned against Lacey’s house and shut my eyes, seeing her pause as she approached the table. I’d keep a hold of Lacey’s hand. We’d sit on the same side of the booth.