Her Forbidden Rockstar: A Forbidden Rockers Novel

by Sarah Robinson

  “It’s cute that your face scrunches up like that every time you don’t understand something,” a deep and familiar voice spoke behind her. She jumped, startled, whirling around to see Logan standing less than a few inches from her.

  “I didn’t get to see a lot of that at the coffee shop.” He smirked at her, continuing to tease her about being a know-it-all. Her cheeks blushed a dark red and she looked away from him, feeling embarrassed that he had caught her in a private moment.

  “I didn’t see you there. And I have no idea what you are talking about,” she stammered, sticking her nose up in an attempt to look confident, but mentally kicking herself for being so ineloquent.

  He just smiled at her, showing off small dimples on his cheeks that she felt the urge to reach out and touch. He was so unbelievably handsome this close. She inhaled the musky, yet fresh, scent he exuded and felt his hot breath tickle her cheeks. A silence came over the two of them for what seemed like an eternity, but was really only a few seconds at most. He seemed completely at ease, which only made her more nervous. She could see herself fidgeting more and more by the second.

  Although Logan was already only a few inches away from her, he began to lean down a little further, closing the gap between them even more. Caroline’s breath caught in her throat. She wouldn’t have been capable of breathing if she tried, because she was completely entranced in his sparkling blue eyes. She was caught in the magnetic field between them, pulling them closer together.

  “So, you like that painting?” Logan grinned, interrupting her fantasy moment and causing her to step back and clear her throat.

  She blinked a few times, trying to gather herself, and then looked back at the painting. He smiled coyly at her, seemingly knowing the effect he was having on her and definitely enjoying it. That just made her angry, which may not seem like the normal reaction in this type of situation, but Caroline was always in control. She didn’t lose herself in the moment like this.

  At the Java Jolt when she met Logan, she was calm and collected and hadn’t even given him the slightest opportunity to ruffle her feathers. Now here he was playing her like a fiddle! She knew he didn’t really care about her, not with all those models prancing around and throwing themselves at him. How dare he try to gain the upper hand by throwing her off balance with those steamy eyes and those tiny, perfect dimples? She mentally slapped herself and snapped back to reality.

  “Yeah, it’s okay,” Caroline said, trying her best to sound nonchalant.

  He just smiled again with that irritating and boyish grin, like he could read her thoughts and knew he had just knocked some of her walls down. Her blood boiled the more that she thought about it. How dare he act so full of himself! He was just another musician, nothing original or unique about him.

  Just an overly confident man surrounded by fawning women plucking away at his guitar strings, how unoriginal he was, she thought to herself.

  “Come with me,” Logan spoke softly to her, his hand capturing her elbow and pulling her toward the draped off section of the room.

  “Where are you taking me? What’s behind there?” Caroline panicked slightly, pulling her arm free from him. She kept trying to withstand his delicious magnetism, but losing ground by the second. He turned back to her and smiled, rolling his eyes at her mock outrage.

  “If you want to know, you better come find out.” He annoyingly avoided her question entirely as he disappeared between the folds of the velvet curtains.

  She watched him enter, then turned to look at the rest of the room. No one was even remotely paying attention to them. Jackie was kissing a different security guard in the corner of the room and Aralia was talking animatedly, while a group of people sat around her, captivated. Aralia had always been a star and there was nothing that could drag her away from an audience.

  Caroline turned back toward the curtain and took a deep breath, stepped forward, and pulled them apart to walk through. The curtains quickly fell closed behind her, leaving her in a smaller room, maybe only twice the size of her bedroom or a little less. There was a bed to one side with a large counter on the adjacent wall with all kinds of products, clothes, and travel items strewn across it. The other side of the room is where Logan stood, facing away from her. He had taken his shirt off and was only wearing baggy sweat pants.

  She paused, taken aback for a moment, by the site of the clearly defined muscles on his back, followed by his bulging shoulders and bulky biceps, all covered in different tattoos that told a story she so badly wanted to read. Caroline was so distracted by him that she hadn’t noticed what he was doing until he turned around to look at her.

  “What do you think?” he asked, his eyes showing a slight vulnerability as he awaited her judgment.

  Logan was standing in front of an easel with a partially painted canvas on it. The scene was of a girl’s profile, looking behind her. The girl looked sad, but confident. There was something in her eyes that made Caroline lock in. She walked further into the room to look at the painting more in depth, forgetting Logan was standing there and now even closer to her. The girl had brown curly hair, pale white skin, and rosy lips. Her neck and the rest were still not drawn, only her face and the beginning edges of her hair were completed.

  It was probably one of the most beautiful paintings that she had ever seen. It looked so real, like the girl was going to turn back around and look right at her. Not only did the painting look real, but it was overflowing with emotions and meaning. It wasn’t just a picture on a canvas, it told a story in her gaze, in the soft light around her face, and the hazel complexity of her eyes.

  “It’s beautiful,” Caroline whispered, hauntingly. There was really nothing more that she could say that would accurately capture what she was looking at. She had now entirely forgotten that Logan was standing by her side, until his hand came around and sat lightly on the dip in her lower back. Her breath staggered for a second and she cleared her throat, turning back to look at him.

  “Who painted this?” she asked him.

  “It’s not fully painted yet, but once I finish it, you can have it,” he replied, gazing into her eyes seriously.

  “I meant who painted it,” Caroline started, then stopped and realized what he had just said, “wait, you painted this?”

  “Don’t look so surprised.” He was smiling at her again,

  “I am more than a guy holding a microphone every night.” He turned from her to look back at the painting. “Plus, I had a wonderful muse that pulled this out of me.”

  “Oh, that’s nice,” she said curtly, not meaning to sound annoyed, even though she was. She looked at the painting, feeling jealous of the girl that he had painted. She knew she was being ridiculous.

  Logan turned back to look at her, a confused look on his face. He seemed to have a realization just then and smiled widely at her, laughter dancing in his eyes. He took another step closer to her, this time completely closing the gap. His arms encircled her waist and he pulled her to his bare chest, pressing her tightly to him. Caroline lost every ability to breath or even to think. Her legs had gone limp, which made her thankful that he was holding most of her weight.

  “Caroline, I painted you. You are the most beautiful muse there ever could be. Your button nose, pretty lips, and shiny hazel eyes,” his deep voice became softer as he whispered to her, repeating some of the lyrics that she had just heard on stage, looking deeply into her eyes.

  She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, but everything had gone still. She felt at home. She felt like she had been in his arms her entire life, or that her life hadn’t even started until just then. The nerves and butterflies had fluttered away and she was overwhelmed with a calm sensation of belonging that she had never felt before.

  “Logan,” she breathed his name, trying to say something, but the words wouldn’t come.

  “This painting is you. My final song was you. You have been my every waking thought since we met. I can’t sleep. I can’t focus. I can’t do anythi
ng, but think about you,” Logan continued, his face coming even closer to hers.

  “Caroline…” Logan exhaled her name, leaning forward.

  His forehead met with hers, as they looked down at each others’ lips. Both of their breathing was slightly ragged as his arms tightened around her. Her hands were on his chest, trying to keep some barrier between them. Her defenses were quickly melting away. He moved closer and she felt his lips brush against hers. It wasn’t a kiss, just a caress, but the sensation was like lightning, deliciously attacking her entire body.

  “Caroline, I’ve never felt this way before. Tell me you feel this.” He was almost begging, yet somehow commanding at the same time. His lips brushed hers again, refusing to actually commit until she allowed him, until she told him that she felt it too. Her eyes were closed, her body was flush against his.

  “Yes.” She was barely able to utter the word as she leaned further into him, willing his lips to finally meet hers. She was on fire and only his lips could cool her. But he didn’t move closer, he pulled further away.

  “Caroline, I have to tell you-“ Logan started to say, still holding her and looking deeply into her eyes. He looked worried, an expression that she had never seen on him before. It quickly grounded her and brought her out of her hazy, lust-filled moment with him.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked him, pulling back enough that his arms dropped to her hips, instead of around her back. Just as she was pulling back, a high pitched woman’s voice rang out from the other side of the curtain.

  “LOGAN!”

  He jumped back from Caroline hurriedly, letting go of her completely. She felt like someone had just ripped a bandage off of her with no warning, almost as if it was physically painful to not have his arms around her. He turned and walked toward the part in the curtains just as a tall woman with black hair, tied firmly into a bun, marched into the room.

  Her face was pulled tight with irritation and her frail frame was held together by a tightly wrapped dress and way too high heels. Her eyes were a deep green, which was probably the most appealing thing about her. They drew you in and made you look past the snarl that seemed to permanently belong on her lips.

  “Logan, you are late! You need to be finishing sound check for tomorrow’s show. Then you need to rest, so you will be able to perform!” She walked straight up to him and kissed him squarely on the mouth.

  “Come on, babe. Let’s move it,” she commanded, pointing to the curtain. Finally, she seemed to notice Caroline standing in the back of the room. The mystery woman’s eyes narrowed as they appraised her.

  “Oh, hello there. Didn’t know Logan had company.” She turned to Logan with an angry look before gesturing to Caroline. “Care to explain?”

  “Gina, this is Caroline. Caroline, this is my girlfriend, Gina. Caroline was just looking at this painting. She is considering buying it when I’m done,” Logan flubbed through an explanation but Caroline hadn’t heard anything past the introduction of his “girlfriend”.

  That sentence and the moment that they had just shared did not mix in her mind. She couldn’t understand what was going on. Logan was still talking to Gina, but it was all a fog to her. Caroline stood there, getting angrier by the moment, realizing she had been very close to kissing a man who was involved with another woman. Logan said something to her, but she didn’t hear him. He and Gina walked through the curtain and left her standing alone in the small room.

  She looked back at the painting of her and a flash of fury jolted through her. With one swipe of her arm, she knocked the entire easel over and the painting lay face down on the floor. Feeling satisfied by the action, Caroline took a deep breath and mentally slapped herself for what seemed like the millionth time that day.

  She can’t believe she had let herself get carried away like that. Twice!

  He was a musician, a rock star, a man surrounded by groupies. Of course he would be the player type too. Of course he would have a girlfriend. Caroline felt so stupid as she headed to leave, pausing right before the curtains, she saw Logan’s shirt draped over a chair arm.

  Her anger seemed to immediately dissipate and replaced with a sudden feeling of sadness. She didn’t know why she was doing it, but she grabbed his shirt and stuffed it into her purse. She then continued to storm out and go find Jackie and Aralia. They were still on the other side of the room when Caroline walked over to them angrily, Logan was nowhere in sight.

  “Aralia, I want to go. Now,” Caroline said, sounding angry.

  If she let out anything but anger, it was going to be an unending stream of tears. She was not going to give this jerk the satisfaction of seeing her cry. Caroline was strong, always had been and always will be. She didn’t cry over hurt feelings. Aralia and Jackie turned to look at her and immediately sensed her tone, understanding she was serious. They quickly said goodbye to the people they were with and followed her, heading back to the first door that they had entered through. As Caroline opened the door, Logan burst through and almost collided with her. He looked frantic and Caroline took a step back, startled. She quickly narrowed her eyes at him, clenching her jaw, and attempted to push past him.

  “Caroline, please. Let me explain.” Logan grabbed her arm gently.

  She yanked it away from him, shooting him an angry look. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t stop the tears that had begun to spill onto her eyelashes. She knew he could see them in now which only upset her more. Saying nothing, she forcefully pushed past him and walked out. Jackie and Aralia were right on her tail, supporting her, but both looking bewildered as to what had just taken place. Logan followed them out into the hall, but didn’t chase her.

  “Caroline! Please!” he called after her. It wasn’t going to do any good, she was already through the double doors, leaving him and his world behind. Caroline didn’t cry over men.

  CHAPTER SIX

  There was a full line of yellow taxis picking up concert attendees as the three girls added themselves to the line of people waiting. Everyone was dressed in varying degrees of night club clothing, ranging from fishnet stockings to bright neon colors. The girls blended in with their outfits. Caroline was still rocking her skinny leather pants, plus her green top had fallen even further off her shoulder during her encounter with Logan. As they slowly inched toward the front of the line, Caroline’s friends couldn’t hold their questions any longer.

  “Are you going to tell us what happened back there? You rushed us out like the place was on fire,” Jackie said to her, Aralia nodding in agreement.

  Caroline faced her friends, dropping her left hip, so her weight was being supported on her right leg. She looked down at her hands, fidgeting again.

  “It really wasn’t that big of a deal. I was just ready to go home,” Caroline attempted to stay vague.

  “Caroline, come on now. Logan Clay, a famous rock star, was calling your name down the hall, as we rushed away, like we were fleeing the scene of a crime. I mean, if your shoe had fallen off, it would be the rock and roll version of Cinderella,” Aralia scoffed back at Caroline, refusing to let the issue drop at vague.

  “I thought we had a moment. I thought there was something there. It was stupid and I should have known better. Just like you said, he is a famous rock star.” Caroline sighed.

  “What does that mean? Shit, Caroline! Did you hook up with Logan Clay? THE Logan Clay?” Jackie interjected, her eyes lit up.

  “No! Of course not! I’m not like that. I mean, not really. Okay, there was just a quick moment where I thought we were going to kiss but, I don’t know, we didn’t,” Caroline stammered, trying to explain herself, but struggling to describe something she was just as confused about.

  “Caroline, what happened?” Aralia probed again.

  “I thought something was going to happen between him and I. He gave me this whole speech about how he couldn’t stop thinking about me since we met on Monday. It was all so romantic, I just got caught up. I shouldn’t have let my guard down. Just when I thought
something was going to happen, he pulls away and then his fucking bitch girlfriend walks into the room,” Caroline started speaking faster with every syllable she uttered. She felt the anger rushing back to her, sitting like a rock in her stomach that she wanted to grab and throw right at his face.

  “His girlfriend?!” Aralia and Jackie gasped in unison, gaping at her, and begging for further details.

  “Yeah, the girlfriend he didn’t mention. Of course. He is just a player, a stereotypical musician. She walks right in and they kiss right in front of me, then he leaves with her. I mean, the nerve of him to try to seduce me, pretending he has feelings for me, painting a portrait of me, telling me that he never felt this way before. Seriously? What crap! I fell for every word, hook, line, and sinker until Gina walked into the room. BAM, fantasy shattered,” Caroline was ranting now, pacing back and forth in a tight circle.

  “Wait, who is Gina?” Aralia asked.

  “He painted a portrait of you?” Jackie asked at the same time.

  Caroline took a deep breath to calm down. “Gina, his girlfriend. Well he said it was of me, but it’s probably just a ploy he uses to get women.”

  Aralia and Jackie stared at her, their minds trying to absorb the breadth of information that she had just rained on them. At that point, they were at the front of the line and the cab driver opened the door for all of them. They squeezed into the backseat and gave directions back to Caroline’s place. The car took off in the typical New York taxi lurch into oncoming traffic, pulled an illegal u-turn, and headed in the direction of Caroline’s apartment.

  “Don’t brush him off so quickly, Caroline. I mean, the guy is a rock star. That kind of scores him some bonus points, you know? Plus, I know you pretty well and your judgment is rarely off base. If you thought he meant those things he said, then maybe he really did. Aside from the entire girlfriend fiasco, it sounds unbelievably romantic,” Aralia said to Caroline in the cab.