Her Forbidden Rockstar: A Forbidden Rockers Novel
Page 5
“I guess, but the girlfriend is a pretty big part to leave out,” Caroline responded.
Jackie and Aralia both nodded in agreement. Deciding to change the subject, they began chatting about their night and the men that they had met. Jackie had met a security guard, whose phone number was written down the side of her arm, and Aralia had met a group of gay men that she was going to go clubbing with next weekend. It wasn’t long until the taxi jolted to a stop in front of Caroline’s apartment building. She climbed over Aralia and hopped out of the cab, waving goodbye to the girls. They smiled and shouted goodbye to her, then turned to give the driver the next address.
Caroline waved until the taxi pulled away, then walked over to her front door and thanked the doorman as he opened it for her. She slowly climbed the several flights of narrow stairs until she reached her apartment door. She had a large apartment for New York, but that still wasn’t saying very much. She let herself in and dropped her keys on the front table. Her home was dark and she didn’t bother to turn on any of the lights. Instead, she stepped out of her heels, wiggled out of her leather pants, and tossed off her shirt, leaving a trail of clothes on the floor to her bedroom.
Once in her room, she threw on the t-shirt that she had stolen from Logan, enjoying the soft fabric that hung loosely on her small frame. She climbed straight into bed and was already asleep when her head hit the pillow. The commotion, exhaustion, and emotions of the evening had zapped everything that she had.
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Caroline woke up to a stream of sunlight stealing its way into her room, through a gap in the blinds. She scrunched her eyes closed, trying to ignore Sunday altogether, and just go back to sleep. After about an hour of willing the sun to disappear and its defiant refusal to do so, Caroline yawned and lifted herself out of bed. She had no plans today and could just relax, which was exactly what she intended to do. The events of last night were behind her and she was back to real life, ready to move on.
She trotted into her kitchen and began rummaging through her fridge, finally settling on yogurt mixed with some granola. Grabbing a spoon, she balanced the yogurt in one hand and scooped up her sketch pad and pencil, heading to the living room. Her favorite part of her apartment was an alcove jutting out of the building that she had turned into a window seat with comfy pillows adorning it. It was the perfect spot to sit and people watch, looking for inspiration on what to draw that day.
She settled herself on the bench, leaning her bare legs against the window, as she was still wearing just the large t-shirt she had stolen from Logan. Her sketch pad sat behind her as she dove into her yogurt, enjoying each bite as she watched people walk by on the sidewalk below. She was on the second floor, so she was at the perfect angle that most people couldn’t, or wouldn’t, notice her, but still had a great panoramic view. Caroline spotted an older woman sitting on a bench reading a book a little ways down the block. For no particular reason, she knew that that woman was who she wanted to draw today. So, she put down her yogurt and started on her sketch pad.
First, she formed the shape of the woman’s body position and the bench, then went back to add more specific details, like her hair and clothes. Lastly, drawing in the final aspects of the scene, like the look in the woman’s eyes, the turning pages of the book, and the surrounding scenery. As she had been working, the sun had risen further in the sky and was now burning bright above her, causing the window seat to become uncomfortably hot. She hadn’t realized that so much time had elapsed, but she looked down at her sketch and smiled with pride.
She put the sketch pad down and stretched out her arms, preparing to get up. Just as she was unfolding her legs, she noticed a swift movement on the sidewalk close to her. She suddenly realized what she was looking at and jumped up, almost falling backwards. She pressed her face closer to the window to get a better view, but it only confirmed what she had seen. She turned to look at her apartment and immediately saw a million things wrong with it. She quickly tossed her yogurt away and picked up her clothes off the floor, rushing to her bedroom to toss them in the laundry bin. She was scrambling around the living room when her doorbell rang.
Coming to an abrupt halt, she looked down at the newspaper she had been taking to the trash and froze, unsure of what to do. She quickly tossed it behind a couch cushion, walking over to the front door. She tried to smooth down her hair with her hands, hoping that she looked somewhat presentable. Her hand grabbed the knob just as the bell rang a second time. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and opened the door.
“Hi,” he said gently, a smile in his words.
“Hi back,” Caroline exhaled, leaning against the door for support, in case her knees buckled in a rebellious attempt to embarrass her. The two stood in silence for a moment, just looking at one another.
“May I come in?”
Caroline nodded and stepped out of the way, her eyes glued to Logan as he walked into her apartment.
“How do you know where I live?” she asked. He turned back to look at her, clearly enjoying the view of her barely clad frame under a large t-shirt.
“George, from the Java Jolt. Then your nice door man downstairs helped pinpoint the specifics,” Logan told her.
Caroline made a mental note to have an angry talk with both Jeremy and George, but she couldn’t focus on that right now. Logan Clay was standing in her living room.
LOGAN CLAY IS STANDING IN MY LIVING ROOM. She took another deep breath, putting on a look of nonchalance, as she walked past him further into the living room.
“Well, why are you here? I think I made myself pretty clear last night. I have no interest in being another notch on your bed post, especially when you are already committed to another woman. I am not that kind of girl,” she said crossly, folding her arms and dropping her right hip as she looked at him with accusation.
He didn’t respond right away and she couldn’t read his face. Part of him looked sad, the other part looked amused. They stood locked in a standoff until Logan took a step closer to her.
“That shirt looks better on you than it ever did on me.” Logan gave her half a smile, his head tilted to the side, as he looked down at her.
Caroline was puzzled, then realized what he was talking about. Her face turned bright red as she realized she had completely forgotten that not only had she stolen his shirt, but she had worn it to bed last night and was still wearing it now. She couldn’t explain why she had stolen it, all she knew is that the smell of him against her skin had been the best part of her night and was the sole cause for the amazing night’s sleep she had. She pulled down at the bottom of the shirt, trying to cover herself further, realizing how exposed her legs were.
“Crap, I’m sorry.” Caroline didn’t know what else to say.
She had stolen the man’s shirt. There really wasn’t any coming back from that.
“I was wondering where I had left that.” He chuckled, taking another step closer to her.
“I’ll be right back. I shouldn’t be standing here in nothing.” She slid around him, heading into her bedroom.
He had tried to reach out to grab her, but she avoided his grasp. Shutting the bedroom door behind her, she rested her back against it for a moment. She couldn’t believe he had just showed up at her house.
Why is he here? Where is his girlfriend?
She closed her eyes and let out a sigh, unsure of what to do. She liked Logan more than she wanted to admit, but he had a girlfriend and Caroline wasn’t that type of girl.
Or am I? She thought for a moment, then assured herself she was not. She grabbed a pair of leggings that were on the end of her bed and pulled them on under the shirt. She quickly slipped on a bra and some socks, then pulled her hair up into a ponytail. She glanced at herself in the mirror. She looked like she was heading off to yoga or the gym. Exactly what she was going for, she didn’t want to look like she was dressing up for him or like she cared.
She closed her eyes as she grabbed the door knob to her bed
room door and mentally repeated girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend in her head. She couldn’t let herself forget. Logan has a girlfriend. Opening the door, she walked into the living room where Logan was lounging up against her window seat, holding her sketch pad in his hands. He looked up at her and smiled, causing her stumble in her steps as she was struck by his electrifying smile and piercing eyes.
“You drew these?” he asked inquisitively, pointing to the picture she had sketched earlier of the older woman. She blushed, she didn’t usually show her sketches to anyone.
“Yes, I drew that this morning. Do you have a habit of rifling through people’s things?” she questioned him indignantly. She reached out her hand, insisting he hand it back to her. He complied and passed it to her, smiling widely.
“I don’t think you are in a position to talk about touching other people’s things.” Logan laughed and pointed at his shirt that she was still wearing. She bit her lip and grinned. Caroline squeezing the sketch pad in her hands, he had her there.
“What do you want, Logan? Why are you here?” Caroline asked him again, looking up cautiously at him with her chin dipped down. Logan took a step toward her, causing her to straighten up and look him square in the face. He stopped and stared at her for a moment, trying to collect his thoughts.
“I didn’t mean for last night to end the way it did. I want to explain,” he started.
“There is no need to explain anything to me. You have a girlfriend. Gina seems lovely. I hope you two are very happy together,” Caroline said, rolling her eyes at him. She was trying to be the bigger person, but she definitely sounded sarcastic. Okay, so she wasn’t trying all that hard to be the bigger person.
“No, Caroline. That’s not… look, I know it didn’t go well. But, Gina and I have been over for years. We barely tolerate being around each other. At least, I can barely tolerate being around her. She is not the woman for me,” Logan told her.
“If you two are over, why did you call her your girlfriend? I saw you kiss her, for God’s sake. I mean, it’s one thing to have embarrassed me like that last night, but then you come here and lie to me? Wow, so is this what you like to do? Use people and toss them aside? I think it’s time for you to leave now,” Caroline huffed angrily, pointing toward her front door.
Logan didn’t move.
“Caroline, she is my manager. She controls pretty much everything about my life. I can’t just break up with her without losing a shit ton of money. Plus, she is a vengeful person. She would destroy me. With all of her music business connections and her family, she would take me from A-Lister to someone who can’t even get a show in Las Vegas. It’s just complicated, but I don’t love her. It’s become just business.” Logan tried to sound convincing.
He knew that this wasn’t going over well. There was really no way to explain who Gina was to him and everything she had meant for his life, but meeting Caroline had changed his life. Something about her smile and even her squinting, angry eyes were so alluring to him. She frustrated him to no end, but he saw past that wall she put up, to the tender and vulnerable girl behind. She was so beautiful, intoxicating, and he knew he couldn’t let her fall through his hands.
“Why would you ever be with someone like that in the first place then?” Her face scrunched up in confusion.
“It’s complicated. She was there for me when no one else was. She took care of my family when we needed it the most. I feel like I owe her, and there’s no way I can ever repay what she did.” He sighed and rubbed a hand on the back of his neck before repeating himself. “It’s just... complicated.”
“I don’t need the details, Logan. She is your girlfriend, nothing else matters to me. I am not that kind of girl. Just go.” Caroline walked to the front door and opened it for him.
“Caroline, I know you are not.” Logan began to sound like he was begging.
He walked toward her and grabbed her waist, pulling her toward him. She let go of the door and allowed him to press her body against his firm chest. She was trying to stay angry, but his skin was pulsing heat against her. All she could think of was how intoxicating he smelled, a mixture of shower gel and paint. Odd, but delicious, and it was making her head spin. Her knees went weak and she leaned into him.
“Caroline, you did something to me. When I met you that morning in the coffee shop, something changed in me. I hadn’t realized how unhappy I was, with Gina or with my life entirely, until I looked into your eyes and saw what happiness could be.
The rest of the week, you were all I thought about. Every day, all I could think of was how I want to be waking up next to you, not Gina. She and I fight nonstop. She acts like I have to wait on her every need and do everything that she says. I’m not her boyfriend, I’m her hostage.”
Caroline gave him a skeptical look, but he continued.
“I can’t break up with her, because she will ruin my career and she has done so much for me and my family in the past. She has threatened to multiple times. I don’t know what to do. I had just given up and accepted that that was my life. Then, you walked into that coffee shop and shoved all my papers to the side, along with the rest of my life!” Logan exhaled, caressing the side of her face with his fingers.
Caroline smiled as she remembered the first time that they met. She felt so warm and perfect in his arms right then, as if they had been made just for her. She looked up into his eyes, those deep, blue eyes that she just gets lost in.
“I can’t accept that that is my life anymore. I don’t want to go through each day dreading coming home, dreading seeing Gina. I don’t want to lose you, I can’t. I know I screwed up last night, I am such a jerk. I had no idea what I was doing and I just panicked. Please give me another chance, Caroline,” Logan begged softly, touching his forehead to hers. Her breathing became shallow, as she felt him holding his breath, waiting for her answer.
“Logan,” Caroline whispered, almost in a whine.
“Don’t do this to me. You have a girlfriend. I can’t be the other woman.” She looked down at his full and perfect lips, then up into his eyes. “I don’t’ want to be with you.”
“You don’t mean that. Caroline, you know there is something here. I can see it in those beautiful hazel eyes. Caroline, your eyes are breathtaking,” he whispered, pulling her closer to him, kissing her cheek softly.
His arms wrapped tighter around her waist, moving his lips from her cheek to her mouth and pressing his lips against hers. She didn’t even bother trying to stop him, she wanted it as much as he did. Her mind went completely blank, as her hands came up and locked behind his neck. Their lips refused to part as they fell deeper and deeper into their kiss, losing track of everything around them.
Every reason to say no was gone and all that was left was the undeniable chemistry between them. Logan lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her into the bedroom. He gently dropped her on the bed and climbed on top of her. Caroline stared into his now smoldering dark, blue eyes and shivered with intrigue and excitement. He leaned down and kissed her again, hips pressed together and arms wrapped around one another.
RING RING! RING RING!
Caroline jumped as the phone rang, startling her. They both looked toward the phone on her nightstand and back at one another. He smiled at her and kissed her again, they silently agreed to ignore the phone since this moment was too important to let pass. Caroline smiled in their kiss and ran her fingers through his wavy hair. The phone continued to ring for another minute until it switched over to voicemail with a few clicking sounds.
Caroline’s voice came on the machine with her regular greeting telling people to leave a message at the beep. She couldn’t help but blush when she heard herself. She always thought she sounded like a little girl on the phone. She hoped Logan wasn’t listening to it, but she doubted he was, since she could physically feel how distracted he was against her. The answering machine finally came to an end, beeping, and Aralia’s voice rang out through the speakers.
The message ended and the room fell silent. The duo were staring into each others eyes after listening to the message, neither moving nor knowing what to do. Finally, Logan got up and swung his feet off the bed. Caroline sat up behind him and pulled her knees up to her chest. The two were silent. Logan dropped his head, shaking it, and sighing.
“I’m sorry, Car.” Logan pushed his hair out of his face, raking his hand through his locks. He turned his head to look at her sitting behind him with her chin on her knees.
“You deserve better than this. You deserve better than me. I shouldn’t be here,” he moaned, almost as if he was in pain. His face was strained and clearly miserable. Caroline nodded in agreement, not really meaning it.
“Logan, she is right. I don’t want to be the other woman. We shouldn’t have even done what we just did. You have a girlfriend. Gina.” Caroline shook her head, but Logan twisted his waist around and leaned back on the bed, laying his arm across her legs. His face close to hers, carefully looking into her eyes, searching for the truth. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted to see or what he wanted either.
“Caroline, I want to be with you. I know that you want to be with me, too,” he whispered to her while his other hand brushed a few pieces of stray hair off her face.
“Are you going to break up with Gina?” Caroline asked, looking up into his eyes. Her eyes were begging him to say yes, just waiting to hear it come out of his mouth. That he would pick her. That she meant that much to him. He was silent for a moment and his hand dropped from her face.