Lost for Words

by Andrea Bramhall

  “What? No. I meant she didn’t tell you that my mother told me not to come home because she had a man staying with her. So I ended up staying in Jac’s spare room.”

  “Oh, right.” Sophie looked more than a little relieved, and Sasha snorted a laugh. “That was generous of her.”

  “Yeah, it really was. I was going to get a room at a hotel, but she wouldn’t hear of it. And she helped take my mind off being pissed off with my mother.”

  “Fair enough. So how long has your mother been seeing this dude?”

  Sasha glanced at her watch. “About fifteen, maybe sixteen hours now.”

  It was Sophie’s turn to snort. But hers included the mouthful of coffee she’d just taken, and she put a hand to her nose. “Ouch.” She cackled. “Enough said. I’ll make sure the coffee keeps coming to get you through the day.” She tipped her head to indicate something over her shoulder. Sasha followed the gesture. “Seems one of our leading ladies isn’t too happy that the other leading lady got the bigger part.”

  “Is that normal?” Sasha asked as she looked them both over.

  “No, and if she doesn’t let it go once this starts, I’ll sort it out, but it would be easier if they can do it themselves. At least then there won’t be embarrassment to add to the mix of jealousy and drama.”

  Sasha sipped her coffee, holding the mug under her nose to offset the lingering scent of deodorant as one of the male actors pulled out a chair a little way down the table.

  Sophie’s nose wrinkled and she whispered, “Welcome to the glamorous world of the wannabe famous.”

  Sasha sniggered, content to sit between her new friends and wait for Jac to call the session to some sort of order.

  “Back in a minute,” Sophie whispered and indicated the door with Ladies written over it in bold script.

  “No worries. You might want to check your”—she pointed at the coffee splatters down Sophie’s chest—“while you’re in there.”

  “Thanks,” Sophie said with a glance down, a roll of her eyes, and a quick trot to the bathroom. The door had barely closed behind her when the seat beside Sasha was filled with the disgruntled blonde Sophie had pointed out a few minutes ago. She held out her hand with a smile so fake that Sasha could feel herself recoiling and had to catch herself.

  “I’m Gemma Jackson.”

  Name’s as fake as the smile, hon. Sasha took her hand and tried her own false smile. “Sasha Adams.”

  “Are you part of the production team?”

  Sasha nodded. The writer is part of the production team, right? Part of those who produce the thing the actors act in.

  “Good, I thought so, given your age and everything.”

  Bitch.

  “So listen, I don’t want to be rude to anyone or anything, but there’s been a serious casting mistake here. Becca over there…” She pointed to a young woman who could be the embodiment of the female Middle Eastern lead Sasha had envisioned when writing the script. “Well, she’s under the mistaken impression she’s playing the lead character in this thing, but clearly it needs a, well, let’s not beat around the bush. This script and this character needs a little…something, you get me, hon? So my skills and charisma are definitely needed to help it out.” She flicked her blond hair over her shoulder, and her smile turned conspiratorial. “So I thought if you could just tell the director it was a typo or something, maybe pretend it was your mistake or something like that, then we could get this thing on track. Then when it’s a roaring success, you can drop the bomb that you fixed this whole mistake and get the credit for it. I don’t mind doing that for you.” She offered Sasha a wink. “What do you say?”

  Sasha wasn’t sure which emotion would win out in the battle between insulted and incredulous. Did people like this really exist? Really? Could someone be this wrapped up in their own little world and still be able to function? Did her script really need so much help?

  But Hazaar was a British Muslim. Gemma’s blond hair and blue eyes made her the perfect counter to that, and they were fairly close to what Sasha had pictured on Charlie. While the film took its name from Hazaar, the Arabic word for nightingale, Charlie was in actual fact easily as big a part, possibly more so. So, no, switching them would not be possible. It simply wouldn’t fit. Had this woman even bothered to read the damn script?

  Or is she right? Does she have a point? Was her script so bad that this woman—with her fake smile and her fake name, and God knew what else fakeness—was good enough to make it better? Jesus, if that was the case, maybe she should have stayed back at home. What am I doing here? I’m going to fuck everything up. I’ll ruin Jac’s company.

  The thoughts racing through her head paused when they hit that one. Jac wouldn’t let someone ruin the company she’d spent years building. And even if she’d been inclined to throw someone a bone, Sophie wouldn’t. They’d put their faith in her. Their trust. The words above Jac’s door filled her mind’s eye, and in the end insulted won out.

  “Gemma? Is that what you said your name was?”

  The woman…no, the girl, nodded.

  “Well, I tell you what. Why don’t you go back over there and take a look at the script you’re holding again? Then remember I said my name is Sasha Adams.” She pointed to the script in Gemma’s hand and the seat across the room and hoped Gemma didn’t notice how badly her hand was shaking as she quickly brought it back to the table. “Then take a look at the character descriptions. Then if you still want to discuss this crappy script and all the help it needs, come find me again.”

  Oh, that felt good. Sasha had to stop herself from smiling and hold on to the cold look she was trying to display.

  Gemma huffed and drew herself up out of the seat with a grace Sasha knew she’d never possess. “Don’t try to say I didn’t offer you a chance, love. But I suppose there’s a reason you’re still behind the scenes and no one knows you at your age.” She wiggled her fingers and crossed the room.

  Sasha jumped when a hand touched her knee under the table, and she turned to see Jac grinning at her.

  “Sorry, didn’t mean to make you jump.” She squeezed Sasha’s knee gently, then let go. “But that was awesome, and if you turn around now, I think you’ll see your little bomb go off.”

  Sasha glanced across the room and noticed Gemma’s head snap up and her gaze lock on Sasha’s. Her face paled. Sasha could clearly see the oh shit that went through her mind and smirked broadly as she waved her hand at Sophie’s chair, inviting her back for the discussion, but Gemma tossed her head and turned away. Jac stifled a laugh as Sophie walked back to the table and caught Sasha’s never mind gaze as she sat back down.

  “What did I miss?” Sophie asked.

  “Sasha sorting out our casting drama,” Jac answered and grinned at Sasha. “I’ll fill you in later.” Jac cleared her throat. “Okay, people, let’s get this show on the road!”

  “I got Chinese food,” Mags said as she dumped two plastic bags on the table they’d been sat around all day. At least now only the four of them remained. “I got a selection of stuff, so dig in and help yourselves.”

  Jac was the first to stand and start pulling out containers.

  “I’ll grab some plates.” Sophie stood. “Don’t eat all the prawn crackers before I get back.” She pointed at Jac before she left.

  “Yeah, yeah. You do something once on a bet and they make it haunt you forever.” Jac held up plastic tubs to check contents. “What’s your poison, Sasha?”

  “What’re the choices?”

  “Looks like beef in black-bean sauce, sweet-and-sour chicken, duck in what?”

  “Plum,” Mags answered, plopping down heavily into her chair. “There’s also pork chow mien, and prawn with cashew nuts for Madam out there. Don’t touch that or she’ll chop your fingers off.”

  “Good to know. Sweet and sour it is, then.”

  �
�There’s rice and noodles too.” Jac slid foil dishes across the wooden tabletop and grabbed a prawn cracker from the bag with a devilish grin.

  “Rice is good, thanks.”

  Sophie came back in and passed out plates and cutlery as they all busied themselves with dishing out food. Sasha was starving. It had been a long day, and the croissants had long since left a hole in her appetite. Coffee alone was not enough to sustain her throughout a day, especially not one filled with angst in the form of a pouting Gemma Jackson.

  “Okay, ladies,” Jac said, “I think we need to make a quick decision on this one. We just about have time to find a replacement for Gemma, or we suck it up and see how it goes.”

  Swallowing, Sasha watched the faces of the other women around the table.

  Sophie grinned evilly and opened her mouth, “I told—”

  “You don’t need to say it,” Jac cut her off. “Yes, you said Gemma wasn’t the right one for the part.” She waved her hand in Mags’s direction. “We were wrong, you were right. What are the chances of getting your pick on board now?

  “Nada. She’s already signed up for a theatre project as of two days ago. It’s a years-long contract on a touring company. She’s not ditching that for us.”

  “Damn it.”

  “You snooze, you lose.”

  “Yeah, yeah. So who else do we have?”

  “There aren’t a huge amount of options out there. You shot down the proper top candidate, and I can guarantee you won’t want to go with option three.” Sophie bit into a prawn and shuffled in her seat like she was dancing. “Gorgeous, thanks, Mags.”

  “Welcome.”

  “Why? Who was option three?”

  Sophie took her time chewing through her bite of food before she replied. “Vanessa.”

  “Vanessa? As in my ex, Vanessa?”

  Sophie nodded and carried on eating.

  “Shit.”

  “Told you, you wouldn’t like it.”

  Jac bent over the desk and bumped her forehead against the wooden surface. “Why do I get myself into these messes? Why? Why? Why?” She banged her head in time with each word.

  “Well, I think it’s called mixing business with pleasure,” Mags said and forked rice into her mouth.

  “Thank you for those words of wisdom, Yoda.”

  Mags shrugged, swallowed, and said, “We did warn you—”

  “Many, many times,” Sophie interjected.

  “About picking up the talent,” Mags finished.

  “Fine. But we’d all agreed she’d become overexposed in our films. That’s why we terminated her contract.” She snorted a derisive laugh. “That’s why she left me in the end, ladies. Now you want me to offer her another contract?”

  Sophie and Mags looked at each other and shrugged.

  “So it looks like we’re stuck with Gemma.”

  “She’s decent, Jac. She can play the role,” Mags said.

  “Can doesn’t mean she will. I want them to put in the best performance they can, not just show up and say the lines,” Jac said and crunched another cracker.

  “I’ll have a word,” Sophie said. “Make sure she knows what’s expected of her.”

  They’d made good progress with the tabletop rehearsal so far, but Gemma’s lacklustre performance was making it a little difficult to see if everything was coming across exactly as Sasha had intended. She thought it did…but doubt niggled at the back of her mind.

  “What do you think, Sash?” Sophie asked. “Is it what you expected so far?”

  Sasha swallowed the forkful of rice she just taken and wiggled her hand from side to side. “Sort of. I’m not entirely sure what I was expecting to begin with, but this makes sense. Getting as much prepared ahead of going onto the sets saves time and, no doubt, money, right?”

  “Absolutely. If we tried to do all the rehearsals on set, it would add weeks to the schedule, all of which would have to be paid for.” She circled her head around to indicate the room they were in. “Using our own office space adds nothing to the overheads that we aren’t already paying.”

  “Yeah, but did you enjoy it?” Mags asked. “It’s exciting, right? Hearing them read out your words and bringing your characters to life?”

  Sasha grinned. “I had to pinch myself I don’t know how many times today to make myself believe I wasn’t dreaming. It’s still kind of surreal.”

  “Well, keep reminding yourself of that feeling when we’ve been on set for three weeks straight and Gemma’s still turning in a performance like this one today.” Jac stabbed a fork at her plate and looked at Sophie. “Let me have a talk with Vanessa and see if she’s interested. We didn’t really part on bad terms, and this would be a part she could sink her teeth into. Plus, she can sing. We wouldn’t have to bring in a voice double for that audition scene at the beginning. That always makes the editing easier.”

  Sophie frowned. “Are you sure you want to do that, my dear Pan? You know she’s likely to think it means you want her back, as in, you want her back?”

  “Trust me, I’ll be clear that’s not going to happen, but if she can give me a more genuine performance than what Gemma was turning in, then I think it’s worth talking to her at least.”

  “I’m sorry, but the character is a young twenty-something,” Sasha said. “I’m not sure your ex would fit the role, and there is a lot that would have to be rewritten to fit an older woman. Jokes that just wouldn’t work and so on. I’m sure we can do it, but do you want to go to all the trouble, rather than give Gemma a chance?”

  Mags and Sophie were looking between Sasha and Jac with amused expressions. Jac was staring at her plate and refusing to look up, no matter how hard Sasha tried to catch her eye.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean any offence—”

  Mags and Sophie hooted as Jac’s cheeks flamed red and she tossed a wadded-up napkin at Mags.

  “I think I’m missing something.” Sasha had clearly stuck her foot in it. What was this about?

  “Jac didn’t tell you Vanessa is twenty-five, did she, hon?” Sophie asked.

  Sasha lifted her eyebrows and Jac’s cheeks grew even redder. “Really?”

  Jac cleared her throat and said, “Erm, yeah, she is, and no, it never came up in conversation.”

  “Sorry,” Sasha said. “I shouldn’t have made assumptions. I…well, I—” She shook her head. “You should do what you think is best.”

  Jac nodded and pulled her phone from her pocket. “I’ll call her now. If she’s coming on board, it’d better be sooner rather than later. She’ll need to get her hair dyed, or sort out a good wig at least.” She stepped out of the room.

  Sasha wasn’t sure why, but the idea of Jac with a woman so much younger made her heart clench uncomfortably. But why wouldn’t Jac date a younger woman if she could? A young actress, who was no doubt stunning, and half her age? Jac was a gorgeous woman herself. Gorgeous, intelligent, funny… Why wouldn’t she be with a beautiful, young actress?

  Sasha swallowed another mouthful of food she was no longer hungry for.

  Chapter 14

  Gemma Jackson’s exit from Kefran Media Ltd the next morning was neither graceful nor quiet. The scathing looks she sent Sasha’s way spelled out exactly where she felt her problems lay, and she wasn’t shy in letting everyone know. Nor was she shy in letting her insults fly.

  Mags sat next to Sasha in the conference room they’d used to break the news to Gemma and ran her fingers through her hair. “Well, if she thinks that’s the way to make it in this business, she’s got another thing coming, I can tell you that for damn sure.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. You don’t think she’d get an award for that performance?”

  “Only if she was going for Banshee of the Year.”

  Sasha scanned the script in front of her, wanting to be prepared for the day ahead as much a
s she could. After several minutes of deep concentration, the sensation of someone bumping her elbow startled her. She looked up.

  Mags nodded in the direction of the windows that lined the conference room.

  A tall redhead glided down the hallway. Oversized sunglasses covered half of her face, and her lips shone with bright red lipstick.

  “Vanessa Coyne.”

  “Jac’s ex?”

  “Yep.” It hadn’t been a question but Mags answered anyway. “Bitch.”

  Sasha sniggered. “Oh, don’t sugarcoat it, Mags. Tell me how you really feel about her.”

  Mags cackled. “Fair enough. You’ll see for yourself soon enough, anyway. She’s a sleep-your-way-to-the-top kind of girl who no doubt thinks she’s doing Jac a favour now being here, since she’s moved on to bigger and better things after walking out on Jac. And by bigger and better things, I mean she’s sleeping with a producer at the BBC who was rumoured to have got the green light to start casting for a sitcom starring Dawn French.” She winked at Sasha. “But that’s all hush-hush.”

  “Of course. Well, at least she’s consistent.”

  “Oh yeah, she’s consistent. And ambitious, and, like I said, a bitch.”

  “Got it.”

  “I always found it best to ignore her wherever possible and if not, smile and think pleasant thoughts until she goes away.”

  “Why is she a better option than Gemma again?”

  “Vanessa is ambitious enough to perform no matter what’s going on off-camera. She knows that at the end of the day, what the camera sees is what she’ll be remembered for, and she will happily use any drama to enhance her performance.”

  “So she’s actually pretty good at her job?”

  “Unfortunately.”

  “Why ‘unfortunately’?”

  “Because women like her give the rest of us a bad name, and if she worked at it, she really could make it on her own. She doesn’t need to give head to get ahead.”

  Sasha laughed. “Nice, I might have to borrow that line somewhere along the way.”