When He Returns

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

  She watched as he stopped to talk to Danica and JD, then JD stood up, and the two of them walked out of the waiting room. Danica came over and sat down next to Sierra.

  “How’re you holding up?” she asked. “I’m guessing you’re a bit tired since you conked out on Dalton the way you did.”

  “Yeah, I haven’t been sleeping really well, plus it was an early morning for me,” Sierra said as she stretched her legs out.

  “What’s going on with you and Dalton?”

  Sierra pulled her legs in and turned to face her friend. “What do you mean?”

  Danica’s brows rose. “What do I mean?”

  “There’s nothing going on with Dalton and me except we’ve become friends.”

  “Is that what you’re calling it?”

  “Well, sure, because that’s what it is.”

  “Huh,” Danica said with a skeptical look. “It kind of appears as more than that.”

  It’s not, though,” Sierra told her then gave a half-hearted shrug. “In some ways, he’s stepped into the vacancy you left in my life.”

  Danica frowned. “What vacancy?”

  “What vacancy?” Sierra gave a laugh. “Seriously, you can’t be blind to the fact that things have changed for us.” She paused. “Or maybe you don’t see it because you have JD now.”

  Danica was quiet for a few moments, then she crossed her arms and hunched forward in her chair. “You’re right. I guess I didn’t really consider how it would be for you after I married and moved out. That was selfish of me, wasn’t it?”

  “It’s fine,” Sierra assured her. “I understood that JD would hold a more important place in your life than I do now. It just kind of left a friend-shaped hole in my life. And I think Dalton had a similarly shaped one in his life since he left Jesse behind in Toronto, and JD had you. So even when you two aren’t around, he, Elliot, and I have been spending time together.”

  “So there’s really nothing between you and Dalton?”

  Sierra shook her head. “I’m not denying it to be difficult. There really isn’t anything between us but friendship.”

  Danica looked like she was going to say something more, but Makayla came back into the waiting room, ending their conversation.

  “Hey, sweetie,” Makayla said as she came to sit down next to Sierra. “Did they tell you what’s been happening with Ethan?”

  “Just that he was starting to wake up,” Sierra said. “Did he talk to you?”

  Makayla nodded. “He opened his eyes and said my name when he saw me, but that was it.”

  “That’s a good sign though,” Sierra said. “At least he knows who you are.”

  “The doctor wanted to run a few tests with him, so they asked me to leave. Maybe you can get more information when you go in to see him.”

  “Thank you for letting me spend a little time with him.”

  “Of course,” Makayla said with a weary smile. “He needs to see your face too, and I suspect you need to see him as well.”

  “I do,” Sierra agreed. “But I’ll just go in the once and then head for home. I’m pretty beat. Will you stay longer?”

  “I’d like to see him at least one more time before I go home, but I’ll be back early tomorrow.”

  As Makayla shared how it had been with Ethan so far, Sierra found herself hopeful. She was eager to see for herself how he was doing, so when the nurse came out to get her, she leaped to her feet right away and followed her.

  “He’s gone back to sleep,” the nurse said as she led the way to where she could prepare herself to see Ethan. “And unfortunately, it’s somewhat unlikely he’ll wake again tonight.”

  “That’s okay,” Sierra told her. “I just want to see him.”

  “We’re all so happy that he has regained consciousness.” The nurse took her to Ethan’s bed, then began to check the machines attached to him. “I know it’s been hard on your sister-in-law as well as you.”

  Sierra nodded, but her attention was on Ethan. The bruising on his face hadn’t gotten any worse, but the bruises had begun yellowing around the edges. Thankfully, the swelling around his eyes had gone down significantly since that first day. As each day passed, he looked more like their Ethan.

  As the nurse had predicted, Ethan didn’t wake up while she was there, but at least he wasn’t lying as still as he had been on her previous visits. Whereas before, he’d laid there almost deathly still, he now had subtle movements as he slept.

  When she took his hand to pray with him before she left, Sierra could feel the tiniest bit of tightening from his fingers, and it brought tears to her eyes. She stared down at his hand, a bit banged up from the building collapse, and thought of all the times she’d relied on it. As a little girl, she could remember reaching for his hand when he would pick her up from school. He might have been a teenager for part of that time, but he’d never once brushed her away.

  He’d held her hand when she’d needed the reassurance that she wasn’t alone, that he was always there for her. Now it was her turn to be there for him in a way she’d never had to be before. She just hoped she was strong enough.

  After she’d finished praying, Sierra kissed the back of his hand then gently touched his cheek. His face turned slightly into her touch, and Sierra held her breath for a moment, hoping he’d open his eyes.

  When it became apparent that that wasn’t going to happen right then, Sierra let out a sigh and got to her feet. She said goodnight to the nurses then went back to the waiting room.

  Her gaze sought and found Dalton where he was sitting between Danica and Makayla. He held two cups in his hands, and when he saw her, he got up and held out one of them.

  “Hot chocolate as requested,” he said with a smile.

  Sierra took it from him with both hands and inhaled the rich chocolatey aroma that escaped through the small hole in the lid. “Thank you so much.”

  “You’re welcome,” Dalton said as he stepped aside and motioned for her to take the seat he’d vacated.

  “Was he awake for you?” Makayla asked.

  Sierra shook her head then took a sip of her drink. “But he was moving around which was nice to see. Not a lot, but compared to how still he’s been, it was encouraging.”

  When Makayla slipped her arm around Sierra’s shoulders, Sierra leaned into her. The others around her continued to talk as she took small sips of her hot chocolate. She happened to glance up at Dalton and found him watching her, concern and…something else on his face. Something that made her feel warm inside and yet also somewhat alarmed her.

  Maybe Danica had been asking about her and Dalton earlier because she’d also seen something on her brother’s face. Sierra couldn’t allow herself to consider it though because then she’d be torn. There was no way that getting involved was a good idea for them.

  Shoving those thoughts aside, Sierra looked away from Dalton as she tried not to yawn. Now that she’d seen Ethan, whatever adrenalin she’d been running on was fading away quickly. Unfortunately, she still had to drive home.

  As if reading her mind, Makayla said, “Why don’t you head for home? If anything more develops tonight, I’ll call you.”

  “I hope you’re able to get some rest,” Sierra said.

  “I’ve been doing okay. Once I’m asleep, I’m sleeping for several hours. It’s just the falling asleep part that I’m having some trouble with.”

  “I understand that,” Sierra said as she got to her feet. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

  They talked a bit more, and then she and Dalton left. Since Danica had picked Makayla up, she and JD stayed with her.

  As she and Dalton walked through the hallways to the exit closest to where she’d parked earlier, Sierra knew she should be thinking through what she’d seen on Dalton’s face, but she didn’t have the energy. For now, she wasn’t going to make this friendship any more complicated than it had to be.

  Until Dalton actually said something to her that backed up what she thought she’d seen in his expr
ession, she wasn’t going to waste energy on it. For now, her thoughts, emotions and energy needed to be focused on Ethan and Makayla, and she was sure that Dalton understood that. At least she hoped he did.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Dalton felt bad that he couldn’t offer to drive Sierra home from the hospital because he could see how tired she was. He wanted to take care of her, but in this regard, he couldn’t. Maybe it was time to look at getting his driving lessons a different way. He wanted his license, but he also knew that Sierra had better things to focus on than his need to drive.

  After they got to the apartment block, Sierra was slow to climb the stairs, but he didn’t comment on his observation. He could see her unwinding with each step, and when they reached the landing between their apartments, she turned to him with a tired smile.

  “Thanks for everything you did for me today,” she said. “And I’m sorry if I was out of line showing you that article about Jesse.”

  “No. You weren’t at all. How did you find it so quickly though?” He’d been wondering that, since it appeared that the article had just gone live an hour or so before she’d shown it to him.

  “Oh. Well, uh, when we discovered that you were part of Dalton’s Cross, we figured that the only way to keep track of you was through social media. Not your social media, of course,” she said with a small smile. “So instead, we followed all the other guys, and I also set up alerts so that anytime you or any member of the band was mentioned online, I’d get a message.”

  “So you got an alert that an article about Jesse had gone live?”

  Sierra nodded. “This was the first I’d seen about him going to another band though. There hasn’t been a lot on the internet about the band after the initial flurry of stuff written after Angel’s death.” She paused then said, “Are you really okay with Jesse going to another band?”

  Dalton sighed, once again feeling the crawl of ants under his skin. “I’m not sure how I feel, to be honest. I’ve kind of avoided thinking about it all, but it seems like maybe that’s not an option anymore.”

  Sierra looked like she was going to say something but then hesitated before saying, “Maybe Jesse moving forward will help you as well.”

  He knew she was right, but still, his inability to deal with what lay ahead was one of the reasons he’d ended up staying in rehab so long. This was definitely something he’d be talking to his counselor about at his next appointment. Which, if he remembered correctly, was the next morning. Thankfully, he’d already made arrangements for a ride.

  “What time were you thinking of going to the hospital tomorrow?”

  “I’m not sure. As long as there’s no negative update on Ethan, I’ll probably go later in the morning. I need to get a few things done around the apartment.”

  “I have some stuff to do in the morning as well, but if you’re going up closer to lunch, I’d like to go with you.”

  “Are you sure?” Sierra asked. “It can’t be much fun for you to just sit around at the hospital.”

  “It’s not fun for any of us, I would think, but I want to be there to support you and Makayla.”

  “If you’re sure.”

  “I am.”

  “Maybe we should just wait to go up until after lunch because if we go late morning, we’ll just end up looking for lunch not long after we get there.”

  “Okay, so noon-ish?” Dalton asked.

  Sierra nodded. “I’ll text when I have a better idea of what time.”

  There was an awkward pause before Sierra gave him another tired smile and said good night before disappearing into her apartment. Dalton stood there for a moment before opening his door and stepping into his empty, quiet home.

  Without anything else to occupy his thoughts, his brief conversation with Jesse came back to the forefront. Now that he’d had a bit of distance from the initial shock of finding out Jesse’s plans, Dalton could say that he was honestly pleased for his friend.

  Whether he’d wanted to admit it or not, deep down, he’d known that Dalton’s Cross was done. He wished they could have ended on a high note. That they’d be remembered for the music they made. But when people looked at Wikipedia or other sites to find information about the band, it wouldn’t be the awards the band had won, or the awards he’d won as a songwriter that they’d focus on. No, what they’d find would be the death of Angel and the disappearance of Dalton that led to the demise of the band.

  All the hard work that they’d put into their band would be for nothing. And they had worked hard. Sure, they’d partied hard too, but they’d definitely worked hard when they had to. None of that mattered anymore though.

  It was over.

  Dalton dropped down on his couch and leaned back, his gaze going up to the ceiling. It was over…so now what?

  He knew that he didn’t have to work. He didn’t need to find another job, but the idea of just doing nothing, of having nothing to work towards, didn’t sit well with him. Even as a teen he’d found a way to make music and to even earn money from it. Maybe he needed to look back to that time and learn from the person he’d been back then.

  Somewhere along the line, he’d lost himself. He’d once been focused and determined. He’d enjoyed spending time with his family, joking and being a smart aleck sometimes. He’d been confident in their love for him.

  Dalton had no clue what had happened to that part of himself, but he hoped that maybe he could find it again.

  As he lay back on the couch, lyrics once again began to drift through his mind.

  In the darkness, she’s my light.

  In the storm, she’s my anchor.

  In the desert, she’s my oasis.

  They weren’t polished lyrics, but as he let them float around in his brain, he knew they were true. In the past, he’d written songs about love and women, but they’d been abstract. What he imagined it would be like to have someone who set his heart singing. Now he was finding that the lyrics came to him easily when they were about Sierra.

  Not wanting the thoughts to slip away, Dalton pushed himself up off the couch and went to grab his notebook and guitar. He’d been tired when he’d first come home, but now he felt energized.

  Ready to work.

  Ready to pour out his emotions into his music since he wasn’t sure Sierra was ready to hear about them.

  The next morning, Dalton climbed into the car he’d rented and greeted the driver who, by now, was familiar to him.

  “Good morning, sir,” the man said before closing the door.

  Wearily, Dalton relaxed back in the seat. He’d been up far too late the night before, and if he hadn’t set his alarm to go off at eight-thirty, he probably would have still been sleeping. However, he’d lost sleep for a good cause as more lyrics and music had flowed out of him.

  So, while he was tired, he felt good overall. If he’d still been struggling with his music, he might have reacted differently to Jesse’s news. He might have spent the night in a much different state of mind. So while he still didn’t know what lay ahead for him, the music that was coming to him gave him hope.

  The session with the counselor that day was exhausting for him. Going over the cravings that had hit him so hard had been difficult. In some ways, it had felt like a failure to have to admit to how he’d reacted to Jesse’s news.

  The good thing was that he hadn’t let the cravings win. On the not-so-good side was the fact that he hadn’t really even tried to utilize the coping skills they’d taught him. Next time, Sierra might not be there for him. And it wasn’t good to rely strictly on a person to get him over the cravings anyway. People could be part of the coping process, sure, but should not be the only thing he relied on.

  After dissecting everything that had happened, and also how he felt about what was going on with Jesse, his late night had caught up with him, and all he wanted was a nap. But he didn’t want to bail on his plans with Sierra even though he probably should.

  Back home, he thanked the driver and gave him a
generous tip. He climbed the stairs to his apartment, and once inside, he texted Sierra to let her know he was home and just grabbing a bite to eat.

  Sierra: Sounds good. I’ll be ready to go in about an hour. Will that work?

  That will be fine. See you then.

  Putting his phone aside, he pulled out some bread and quickly made himself a sandwich. He wasn’t really hungry, but he didn’t want to have to leave the waiting room to find something if he got hungry once they were at the hospital, although it was a given that he’d be making at least one trip to get coffee and donuts at some point.

  Once he was done eating the sandwich, Dalton went to the couch and, after setting a timer for forty-five minutes, he laid back, covering his eyes with his arm. Hopefully, a power nap would at least make him able to function without seeming like he was out of it. Or high.

  His timer went off way too soon, and before he even had a chance to fully wake up, there was a knock on his door. Stretching, he made his way over to open it.

  “Hey. Are you ready to…go?” Sierra tilted her head to the side. “Did I wake you?”

  “Nah. My alarm did that,” Dalton assured her. “But I need a minute to freshen up.”

  “Sure. Just knock on my door when you’re ready.”

  “Okay. I promise it’ll be five minutes max.”

  Her brow was furrowed as she nodded then went back to her apartment. Dalton knew she was probably wondering why he was sleeping in the middle of the day, and he’d give her an explanation, although it was probably not going to be I was up late writing songs about how I feel about you.

  He quickly splashed some water on his face then grabbed a soda from the fridge. Hopefully the caffeine would help to wake him up and keep him from falling asleep again. Or maybe it would just wake him up, and he’d have to get an extra large coffee from Tim’s to keep him awake.

  Five minutes later, feeling slightly more alert, he rapped on Sierra’s door. She opened it right away and stepped out onto the landing with him.

  “Are you sure you want to go?” she asked as they headed down the stairs. “If you’re not feeling up to it…”